On anniversaries and introspection

Beyond Tristan’s birthday, March is a month full of anniversaries. Things that happen in March have a funny way of becoming milestones in my life!

Fifteen years ago last week, Beloved and I met in a bar in London, Ontario. I was in town from Ottawa for the baptism of a friend’s new baby, and was hanging out at a restaurant where a friend of mine was bar-tending, largely because I didn’t have anything better to do. Beloved and the bartender were friends, and he introduced us. Eventually, after spending most of the evening talking about the art project he had been working on at home and his other paintings and sketches, he invited me back to his apartment to see his etchings, and I went. The rest, as they say, is history!

Seven years ago this month, we saw our house for the first time. We weren’t actively looking for a new house, but enjoyed browsing. We happened to be driving home from my parents’ place by a circuitous route, and followed the “Open House” signs. As soon as we walked in the door, I knew. I looked at Beloved and said, “Uh oh.” We moved in a couple of months later, and it’s been the longest either of us has lived in a house since our childhoods. I still love it, even if we’re starting to burst at the seams! Maybe when Lucas is in school full time and daycare is less of a burden, we’ll look at a four-bedroom place, but I have a hard time imagining a place as perfect for us as this house is. Except for a bigger kitchen, maybe. And an extra bedroom. But really, that’s all I’d need!

And, last but certainly not least, 20 years ago this month I started working for the government. (Twenty years! Who would have ever guessed I’d have enough of an attention span for 20 years of anything?!?) I started, way back in March of 1990, at what was then called Revenue Canada Taxation, Customs and Excise. I was a CR03 tax assessor, following arcane algorithms on a flow chart to see if credits and deductions were correctly claimed on personal income tax returns using a red pen and post-it notes.

From there I went on to resolving complex tax cases, and to answering public inquiries. I moved up to program management about the time Revenue Canada became the Canada Revenue Agency, and made the jump into communications a little less than ten years ago. And, as most of you know, made the jump to my current job just a few months ago.

It astonishes me (frankly, it scares me a little bit!) to look back and see how so many of the fundamentally important changes in my life — meeting Beloved, finding our home, starting a career, starting a blog, finding this job — have all been predicated on nothing more than whim and chance. No doubt, the circumstances around those whimsical moments were padded with preparation and hard work and more than a little luck, but to think of how different my life might be if I chose to stay home with my folks that night back in March of 1995, instead of hanging out and mooching free drinks from my bartender friend!

Almost equally astonishing is to realize that my current job — Web manager — did not exist as an occupation 20 years ago. Was there even an Internet in 1990? Surely not one as we know it now. And to think that social media barely came into existence in the middle of the last decade — and now it’s such an integral part not only of my job but of my life that I simply can’t imagine a day without it.

Looking back on the milestones of March makes me feel a dizzy sort of vertigo. I’m more than half way through my career, if I stay on track to retire when I’m eligible at 55, and yet I still have a toddler at home. I’m 40 years old, but I still feel 17 inside.

I’m still more than a little amazed by all the things happened to that oblivious little girl who sat down at a down at a desk 20 years ago, wide-eyed and ignorant. She never would have guessed any of this — but I know for sure she would have been relieved that it all turns out so well!

In which the Dark Side recruits my kids

I might have mentioned that we love flea markets. It’s a little early for flea market season, but there was an antiques and collectibles show at the Nepean Sportsplex this weekend, and we thought it would be fun to check it out.

About two minutes after we got there, I realized that we’d made a huge mistake. We brought out strong-willed, curious, and relentlessly single-minded two-year-old to a place filled with colourful, breakable, and completely untouchable items by the hundreds — all stacked at toddler eye-level. I almost turned on my heel and left, forfeiting the $5.00 admission charge, but Beloved had already been sucked in by a comic book display, and I felt I should stick it out for at least a few minutes for his benefit.

I was craning my neck around, trying to keep one hand on the grabby toddler, two eyes on the big boys, and scope the joint for vintage cameras, when I noticed the guys dressed up in the Star Wars outfit, and I knew we weren’t going anywhere.

414a:1000 Welcome to the Dark Side

Isn’t that awesome? These guys are just dudes who love Star Wars so much that they joined a group called the 501st Legion, “the world’s premier Imperial Star Wars costuming fan club. They do parades, charity events, and apparently collectibles shows. There are 26 local members, at least a half a dozen of which I met today. I can’t tell you how close I came to joining, or how close Simon’s head came to exploding when he got to hold Darth Maul’s two-sided light sabre!! They had little freebies for the kids, including Star Wars coins and cards, and even “Imperial Guard Training Manuals” with colouring pages and puzzles and coded messages. Talk about little-boy heaven!

As if that weren’t enough Star Wars excitement for one day, we found a table selling old-school Star Wars action figures for extremely reasonable prices. We got this land speeder, circa 1995 but still in the box, plus a handful of action figures, for $18. We got Jedi Luke, Lando Calrissian, and Han Solo with removable carbonite. *snicker*

414b:1000 Star wars toys TtV

Beloved contends he bought this Princess Leia in her gold bikini for the boys. I am not convinced.

414c:1000 Bikini Leia TtV

I can’t tell you how excited I am to see the boys playing with proper Star Wars action figures, and not the new Clone Wars crap. Star Wars has been a motif throughout my life — you think we called him “Lucas” randomly? Okay, it was only partly so Beloved could say to him, “Luke, I am your father.”

And now if you’ll excuse me, I have to go see if I can find a gold metal bikini on eBay.

Survivor Heros vs Villians = AWESOME!

So, did you watch Survivor last night? Way wicked cool, no? Definitely shaping up to be one of the most intense Survivors ever. If you’re a fan, you’ll love this: Jeff Probst blogging the premiere!

Poor Rupert, my heart broke for him when he broke his toe. And did you catch the preview for next week? What the heck happened to Boston Rob?!?!

I have to say, though, if the whole season ends up being this intense I’m not sure how anyone will survive to the bleeding end!

I know there are other hardcore Survivor fans out there — what say ye, bloggy peeps?

Patchin’ it, old skool

When I saw the tear in the knee of Tristan’s gorgeous new Gap cargo pants, I was more than annoyed. I was disappointed, and frustrated. The boy is hard on his clothes. We hand down a lot of t-shirts in my house, but pants rarely survive to have a boy grow out of them. Even with reinforced knees, they get blown out regularly.

So you know what I did? I went to the notions section of Zellers (something about the notions section makes me think of my childhood Saturdays spent at Kmart with my mom and my granny) and I bought a $1.29 iron-on patch kit. Oh yes I did. Eight patches in four colours, I got. And I patched the knees of those gorgeously soft Gap cargo pants, and a pair of black pants that we got for back to school, and just today a pair of blue jeans, too.

patched

I waffled a little bit at first, I admit it. You can see that some of the patch jobs are more, um, subtle, than the others. The brown one was pretty good at first, but now that it’s been washed a few times, it’s starting to fray around the edges. You really can only see the black one if you’re looking for it. There’s nothing discreet about that dark blue patch on the faded denim, though. But you know what? I reclaim patches on the knee in the name of frugality and saving $60 worth of trousers from the scrap heap. Humility be damned, I’ll admit it: I patch my kids’ pants and I’m proud of it.

My grandmother would be proud, too. She used to take all the stitching out of the collars of my grandfather’s shirts, turn it all inside out and sew it back together — on her peddle-powered sewing machine, no less — whenever the collars started to fray. Now *that’s* frugal.

I’m pretty happy with the newly recycled knees, and Tristan is still oblivious enough to be completely unphased by the patches. At around 15 cents a patch, I think that’s a pretty good investment, too. When did patches fall out of favour, anyway? I’m pretty sure I had plenty of them on my knees when I was a kid. Or that might be band-aids I’m thinking of. Now I’m on a mission. Maybe if I go beyond the notions section at Zellers, I can find some high-end patches. Maybe this is the beginning of a patching revolution. Hell, the next thing you know I’ll be darning socks, too!

Well, maybe not.

In which the dog hair finally snaps her last bit of sanity

There’s an old Dan Hill song (what, you don’t do early 70s Canadian folk rockers?) that has the lyric, “Freedom takes on new meaning / When you have a family of five.” With all due respect to Mr Hill, I’d like to posit that the following is also true: keeping the house clean takes on a whole new meaning when you have a family of five.

As you might remember, we got new laminate floors installed on the main floor at the beginning of December, and I’ve since spent a lot of time thinking about keeping the place clean. There’s no doubt that the house is now freer of dust, dog hair and crumbs than it was before, because instead of having these things migrate deep into the pile of the (horrendously ugly) sky-blue-washed-out-to-grey carpet, I’m now sweeping them up on a daily (sometimes twice-daily) basis. Was there really this much smutzch floating around before, or have I suddenly become hyper-vigilant to it as it dust-bunnies itself into every corner?

I’ve become alarmingly obsessive about cleaning the floors. (Not, for whatever it’s worth, much else in the house. So far.) With something like a missionary zeal, I sweep the main floor in search of every stray dog hair and crumbled bit of goldfish. Once upon a time, Procter and Gamble sent me an e-mail asking me to evangelize their Swiffer line in exchange for free product and I declined with a superior sense of derision. And today, I will tell you free of any commercial endorsement whatsoever that I am ridiculously infatuated with my newly acquired Swiffer vac. Seriously, why did you not tell me about this before? I have been freed from the tyranny of the dust pan, and any of you who have spent any time at all watching tufts of golden-retriever-German-shedder dog hair floating lazily over the back of the dust pan or dancing out of the bin on the faintest hint of breeze must IMMEDIATELY set out to acquire one. I also bought a new canister vac at the Boxing Day sales ($200 marked down to $139, with special pet hair attachment!) to replace the 10 year old Kenmore upright that was literally held together with duct tape, but it’s the zippy little Swiffer vac that really floats my boat. There is something supremely satisfying in seeing those stray dog hairs get sucked up instead of skittering away from the broom that moves me deeply.

In another life, I remember reading an article in some woman’s magazine about housekeeping shortcuts, and I knew that it was so not the kind of article for me because it suggested that you don’t have to move the sofa every single time you vacuum. I remember skimming past the rest of the article in search of the next one, with a puzzled little thought bubble over my head that said, “You’re supposed to move the sofa when you vacuum?”

Fast forward three kids and one laminate floor and here I am, moving the sofa about every third time I swifferize. By all things holy, I WILL conquer the dog hair and the crumbs, I swear it.

(There is a small, concerned voice in my head that is suggesting, in the carefully modulated voice you reserve for the craziest of people, that maybe I’m spending a little bit too much time thinking about the swiffer vac. You think?)

And since I’m rambling about cleaning, you know what else I do now that I once scoffed over in derision? I wash the kitchen floor by hand. It’s just easier that way. Next think you know, I’ll be ironing the bed sheets. It’s a slippery slope.

I wish I could declare with a smug sense of self-satisfaction that at least the floors are so clean you could eat off of them, but, well, the dog just shed another half pound of hair, I just noticed at least a tablespoon of coffee grounds that skittered out of the filter, the baby crushed a stray goldfish into powder and someone’s just tracked no-salt-ice-melter from the front hall way half way across the dining room.

And Sisyphus thought the rock was a bitch.

Tap, tap, tap — is this thing still on?

Well, hello there. You’re still here? Yay! Sorry about the extended absence. I’ve been distracted by something shiny and new that I got for Christmas. I’m so spoiled — Beloved bought me an iPod Touch! I hadn’t even asked for it, and have to admit when I opened it my first thought was, “Wow, this is great — but what am I going to do with it?” I already have my battered iPod Nano, the one that survived in the glove-box of the flaming van, and it does me fine as a music player and for the occasional game of solitaire. (Truth be told, I have been coveting an iPhone, but just couldn’t justify the monthly cost of the data plan.)

But you know what? I love it! LOVE it. I called it the MotherPod, and I’ve loaded 50 of my favourite pictures and my entire music library and filled less than 1/4 of it. In about two clicks I’d connected my e-mail account and found my way online. I wasn’t going to put any games on it, because I knew that the moment it looked like a gaming device would be the moment that I surrendered myself to sharing it with the boys, and frankly I don’t want to share. It’s MINE!

I surfed around looking for recommendations for Apps (should I capitalize “Apps”, do you think?) and found this most excellent post on Greeblemonkey, with an annotated list of all the Apps she has on her iPhone. I downloaded a couple of freebie Apps, like Google Earth and CBC Radio. (Jian Ghomeshi on demand? Be still my heart!) Did you know that there’s an App to find the nearest Tim Hortons? Now that’s useful technology. And a word game called Moxie, which is kind of meh, but I wasn’t going to start paying for games and it was free.

And then, with a few serendipitous clicks, I began reliving my digital youth. I found — are you ready for it? — Sim City, and suddenly it was 1990 all over again. Sim City? Oh, the hours I dedicated to that game, on my very first computer with the 40 MB hard drive. (Ha, some of the photos I upload to Flickr are more than 40 MB!) My only regret is that the version for the Touch doesn’t say “reticulating splines” as it loads. I never did figure out what splines were or why they needed to be reticulated.

Not too long after that, I found Tetris and I haven’t stepped away from the device since. Tetris? Oh, how I do love Tetris. It’s even MORE addictive than Tim Horton’s coffee. I haven’t yet downloaded Rockband, but I am *this* close!

So if blogging is sparse over the next little while, you’ll know that at least I’m not doing anything productive like, say, cleaning the house. I’ll be reliving my digital youth, playing Tetris and Sim City, and roaming the ‘hood looking for wi-fi hot spots.

Got a favourite App? I’ve still got 3/4 of an iPod to fill. What else have I been missing?

DaniGirl versus the Mouse, Round 2

Remember in my previous post, when I said about the mouse living in our basement “He is Legion”?

I had no idea.

The mice, they are everywhere. They are in my garage, they are in my basement, they are even in my office, a whole 10 km away from my house. I swear, I am beginning to dream about eight-foot tall towering, slavering mice penning me into a corner… it’s not pretty.

We’ve had some success with the traps. I think we caught three or four in the basement (one of which was triggered while the poor nanny was downstairs, much to her dismay) and one committed suicide by jumping into the recycling bin in the garage. The last remaining trap in the basement has been sitting without being triggered for close to three weeks now — I take that as a good sign.

Meanwhile, apparently my corner of the building is a hot spot for mice at work, as they do some work on the foundation. Last week, I had to call the janitor to remove a, um, full trap from under my desk. No more kicking off the shoes while sitting at my desk!

So while the actual vermin themselves seem to be under control, we keep incrementally discovering the extent to which they’ve wreaked havoc this fall. I told you about the kids’ Halloween costumes, and I also threw out our almost-expired newborn car seat when I found it full of mouse poop.

The very worst part, though? Last week I went into the garage to get my beloved almost-20-year-old Christmas tree, a tree that makes me happy every single year when I put it up, and when I pulled it out I found the bottom of the new-last-year red Christmas tree storage bag speckled with mouse poop. The suckers had chewed right through the bag, then used fragments of the bag as nesting material.

Farkin’ mice!!!

So I threw away the tree skirt and the bag itself, rescued a set of handmade wooden snowmen, and shook the holy hell out of the tree segments themselves. Hardly any mouse poop actually fell off of it, so after agonizing for a few days I decided to go ahead and decorate it. But I’m so mad at those damn mice for tainting my tree bliss! I would have happily used that tree for another 20 years, not least of which because I took a look around and I couldn’t replace it quality-wise for less than $300, and because I have always said that “artificial” trees are an environmentally friendly choice as long as you commit to one and stick with it. I think we might have to get another one for next year, though. It makes me so sad, but the tree is just not the same since the mice got into it.

Needless to say, I’m not feeling at all sympathetic to the mice in the traps any more.

When I was a kid, this guy used to hang on our family Christmas tree, and my mom carefully wrapped him in tissue and paper towels and shipped him up to me the first Christmas I lived away from home, back in 1988.

321:365 TtV Christmas mouse

He’s always been one of my favourites, despite the fact that his fuzz is a little uneven now, and some time in the last decade or two he’s lost the jaunty red ribbon that used to be wrapped around his neck. He still sits in a place of honour at eye-level in our tree, but I can’t help but scowl at him whenever I walk past.

I think this round goes to the mice. Stay tuned for round three…

Hooray for December!

I‘m always glad when November turns to December. Despite the short days and cold weather, December is a bright month filled with warmth. We got our first dusting of snow yesterday, which helps to add a festive feeling, and there’s plenty of talk of pending holiday lunches and get-togethers.

I even ordered my Christmas cards online last night! For the first time, inspired by your suggestions, I’ve made cards based on one of my photographs, which I just this moment realized that I forgot to upload and therefore cannot show you. (Oops!) Trust me when I tell you that it’s an adorable image. Here’s an out-take from the same photo session that I did not use, but which will give you an idea of the unbearable cuteness of it all:

313:365 Christmas card outtake

Aren’t they lovely? I swear, I love them more each time I look at this picture. And this is the out-take!

After much dithering, tinkering, uploading and testing, I was surprised to find myself choosing Costco’s photo lab for the cards. I’d toyed with Shutterfly, TinyPrints and a few others, but the price and functionality of the Costco site got me in the end. And since I do most of my photo developing with them, I know at least the photo quality will be high. I’ve ordered actual folded 5×7 cards instead of just flat photo postcard-style cards, and there are photos both inside and out. For about $1 a card, it was the best price by far, and with in-store pick-up, there is no shipping nor US$-Cnd$ conversion to worry about. The only thing I’m forgot to check is whether envelopes are included. If I remember, I’ll report back on the quality issue when I pick them up next week.

Do you feel the pull of the holidays yet? Are you mostly ready or just getting started? What’s next on your holiday to-do list?

The one with the new floor

W are in the midst of getting laminate installed on the main floor of our house. This has caused considerable, in the words of Sir Topham Hat, Chaos and Disruption.

The decision to even have the horrendously ugly sky-blue-faded-to-murky-grey carpets replaced with laminate was itself fraught with peril. The current home reno tax credit helped push us along, as did the unmistakable smell of doggy feet that seems to emanate from the carpet when the house has been closed up for a while. After three boys with serious reflux issues, the carpet is could likely be classified as some sort of bio-hazzard, in fact. So really, tearing up the carpet is long overdue. But the idea of living for a week or two while transitioning from carpet to laminate — the transition period — was almost more than I could handle. Where would we put half a household worth of stuff? What would we do with the kids when we couldn’t live on the main floor? How would I coordinate it with work, and how could I ask the nanny to work within the inherent chaos? Like so many things in my life, though, the worrying was largely for naught and we’ve muddled through to the half-way point of the project without incident.

As much as I’d like to think we are the type of people who can easily tackle a project like installing laminate ourselves, there are two realities that shatter my idyllic illusion of Beloved and I working side by side, thumping Groove A into Slot B to create a beautiful new floor of our own doing. The first reality is the fact that much as I like to consider myself handy around the house, we have trouble installing picture frames and curtain rods without the anchors pulling out six-inch chunks of the wall. The second reality is the fact that on a given day it takes two and a half adults to wrangle the kids. Since we’re already half a man down, there are simply no spare arms to dedicate to this kind of task.

Besides, my mother has taught me well: there are those who do, and those who are smart enough to contract it out to those who will do it better.

When the first estimate came in for the purchase and installation of the laminate, though, we balked. The first quote we got, sitting in Home Depot one Saturday afternoon back in September, was in the neighbourhood of $2000. Not bad for two large rooms, but still a huge expense. But by the time they came in and measured and evaluated the space and padded where they could, the revised, final and actual estimate was closer to $3000, a 50 per cent increase that I just could not justify. So Beloved and I agreed to shave off about half of the increase by doing some of the work ourselves. We would move all the furniture (to where was a good question) and tear up the carpet and underpad. The best of both worlds, right? Professionals to do the fussy bits, and our own hard labour to do the messy bits.

Honestly, I had no idea how messy it would be. Tearing up 15 year old carpet that has been barfed on, pooped on, and spilled on more times than I can count? Gross. Really, it was so bad that now I want to tear up the carpet throughout the upstairs, too, just so I can get a fresh start. I can barely walk on it, thinking of the dust that we tore up with the underpad.

The actual removal of the carpet and underpad was easier than I expected, though, and only took us one extended afternoon nap on Lucas’s part instead of the two days we were anticipating. Moving all the furniture was more troublesome than I expected. We now have stacks of boxes and books in every room of the house, and the installers won’t even arrive until Wednesday. Because we simply must use the main floor of the house (how you people do six-month renos of your houses is beyond me!) we’ve torn up the underpad, pulled out all the staples and carpet tack, and relaid the carpet back down again so we’re not walking on bare plywood.

You can imagine how much fun this is with Mr Curious, the not-quite-two-year old.

With any luck, by Thursday we’ll have a shiny new laminate floor in, if I remember correctly, “apple wood” which steals heavily from the look of knotty pine. And of course, now that we’ve moved all the furniture and left the rooms bare, all I can see are the flaws in the paint that I now feel the need to touch up. And the TV stand is going to look a little shoddy next to that fancy new floor, we might need a new one of those soon. And because the boys spend the vast amount of their time on the living room floor instead of on the furniture, we’re going to have to invest in an area rug of some sort. And the computer table may not survive the trip back down the stairs. I didn’t realize how close to falling apart it is.

Funny, when we first started talking about getting laminate, I was worried about the boys and the dog slipping on the shiny surface. Turns out there was an entirely different slippery slope I should have been worrying about!

Is there a 12-step program for Tim Hortons?

My name is DaniGirl, and I am addicted to Tim Horton’s coffee.

*hangs head in shame*

Not just Tim’s coffee. I like my own a lot, too. But I am a coffee snob and not just any old brackish brew will do when I need my fix. Which is, for the record, regularly. To the tune of three or four large to extra-large cups a day.

*blushes in embarrassment*

I know. It’s insidious, really. You don’t realize how much you’re drinking, or how much you’ve come to rely on it, until your routine is upended by something like, say, starting a new job. You realize that the coffee on the way into the office is fairly easy to integrate into your routine, but that midmorning fix, when you get up and stretch and wander two blocks over to the Rideau Centre to get your second XL with three milks — is no longer really accessible when there isn’t a Timmy’s around the corner. Oh, I can get in my car and drive to one of four nearby Tim Hortons, or I can take about 20 minutes to walk to the nearest one about half a kilometre away. But it’s just not, you know, convenient anymore.

And, for the record, simply doing without? Not really an option. Not if I want to stay vertical and coherent for the rest of the day, anyway. Not only am I addicted, but I have no desire whatsoever to become unaddicted.

That’s not even the worst part, though. The midmorning coffee can, in fact, be rather easily acquired by either driving over to Tim’s myself, or coercing one of my new team members, likewise addicted to Canada’s favourite java, to pick one up for me on the collective morning run. But my previously-established routine also included one last large coffee to get me through the afternoon. Slipping out one to get a coffee each day seems reasonable; slipping out twice makes me feel surreptitious and guilty. “Who me? No, I’m, erm, just going to the bathroom. With my coat on. It’s cold in there, yanno!”

Yes, I know, in the world of addictions, a couple-three coffees a day isn’t too dangerous. But the change in my routine is showing me how deeply integral to my day those coffees have become! And if I don’t get them? You’ll find me face down on my desk, snoring, by lunch time. Probably not the best way to make a good impression on my new team.

Coffee is definitely my addiction of choice. What’s yours?