Oh no, not another post about pants

by DaniGirl on March 12, 2008 · 12 comments

in It IS all about me, Rants and rambles

Oh happy day. Today is a day to celebrate, my bloggy peeps. A mere yay day is not going to do it this time. Today, we dance on table tops, buy drinks for strangers, and beam beautific smiles that will make the neighbours wonder what we’re up to. It’s a glorious day, my friends. Mark your calendars, because today is the day I bought a pair of new jeans, jeans with a button and fly, that fit. Real people pants, not maternity pants. Oh happy, happy day.

I must admit, the single most aggravating thing about this past pregnancy was the pants. I don’t know why the maternity fashion industry moved away from the belly panels that were the standard look of my previous pregnancies, but I have to tell you that in nine months of pregnancy plus the “fourth trimester” of four weeks postpartum, I have yet to find a pair of pants that fit. They’re too big, they’re too small, they pinch or they fall down. Sometimes, all at the same time.

I really thought that immediately I’d divested myself of the 10 lbs baby that at least one or two pairs of the maternity pants might fit me a little bit better. Not so much. And let me tell you, there is nothing more irritating than pacing the floor with a crying newborn and having to stop every half a dozen steps or so and hitch up your pants before they fall down around your knees. One day they fell so far down I simply stepped out of them and continued on my way. Thankfully, I wasn’t in public at the time, although I did nearly have the same experience in the grocery store one day and had to put the armload of groceries I was carrying on the floor so I could stop and hitch the damn pants up.

I realized in searching through my own archives looking for my previous rants on this subject that I apparently have some serious issues with pants that may warrant some sort of therapy one day. Don’t believe me? Look here or here or here or here or here or here or here. Apparently, if you took out all the posts about pants, I’ve only logged about 150 blog posts in three years.

But! Pants!! That fit!!! And you know the best part? They were on sale. Not just on sale, they were a spectacular $16 for a pair of perfectly lovely jeans. They’re a size (or two) bigger than my ideal size, but I truly do not care because I will be able to confidently stride across my bedroom without fear of the sudden glare of white light off my ass cheeks as my pants give in to gravity. And I will wear them by day and wash them by night and wear them by day again and again until either I drop another size and can fit into my other fat pants or summer arrives and I can walk comfortably around in my underwear.

I’m good with either option.

And, since I’m still typing and Lucas is still snoozing, I have to brag about this, too. Can you believe I found mittens? In March? On SALE? I mean, everybody knows that if you want to buy mittens, you buy them in September when you buy your halloween stuff, right? When you actually need mittens, because you’ve been innundated by fourteen farking feet of snow, even though it’s only March the only thing you can find at the mall will be flipflops and suntan lotion. But not me — down to my last two pairs and despairing that the boys would yet lose a finger or four to frostbite, today I found not one, not three but FIVE pairs of mittens for a stellar 95 cents a pair and I gobbled them all up.

It’s nothing short of a miraculous day, I tell you. And now I’m off to burn every single pair of maternity pants I own.


{ 12 comments… read them below or add one }

1 Mom On The Run March 12, 2008 at 12:57 pm

Yay! I’m burning mine along with you!

Visit me @ http://www.momontherun.net

2 suze March 12, 2008 at 1:08 pm

Yay for pants that fit!!! There is nothing better…

3 valerie March 12, 2008 at 1:40 pm

were they waterproof mitts? Where? where??

LOL at the captcha – Spend 1.05. 🙂 (that’s .95 with tax, right?)

4 DaniGirl March 12, 2008 at 2:24 pm

Loblaws (Barrhaven), and no they weren’t waterproof but they were at least Thinsulate. Good enough!!

5 colleen March 12, 2008 at 2:42 pm

All that and the sun is shining.

6 alison March 12, 2008 at 6:30 pm

Ensure the birth control before burning the maternity pants, that’s tempting fate. I’m just sayin’

Yay on the mittens. It’s a sad commentary on present-day merchandising schedules that I’m worried I missed the window for buying splash pants and rubber boots. In March. Sigh.

Captcha: gloom capital – not today, it was sunny in Ottawa!

7 annika March 12, 2008 at 6:47 pm

Thanks for this post! I am six months along and am also finding it heckish hard to find the full-panel pants that I so enjoyed last pregnancy. I am so glad you found a perfect pair of jeans for now that don’t fall down!!! Great sales, too!

8 Liz March 12, 2008 at 10:51 pm

Laughed til I cried over this: “They’re a size (or two) bigger than my ideal size, but I truly do not care because I will be able to confidently stride across my bedroom without fear of the sudden glare of white light off my ass cheeks as my pants give in to gravity. And I will wear them by day and wash them by night and wear them by day again and again until either I drop another size and can fit into my other fat pants or summer arrives and I can walk comfortably around in my underwear.

I’m good with either option.

Dani, I love you.

9 Cait March 13, 2008 at 7:46 am

Yay for a post I can relate to….and that doesn’t freak the hell out of me.
And amen for spending the summer walking around in your underwear!!!

And my captcha is Campbell resort…since I’m leaving for Mexico tomorrow, does that mean they’ll be serving a lot of soup?

10 Chantal March 13, 2008 at 8:00 am

I’m with you re the designers of maternity pants. I liked then panel pants and do not like the band ones. I guess I will be spending my months (when I finally do get pregnant) in unfashionable, 5 year old maternity pants. Oh well, who said being pregnant had to be a fashion statement… (OH god I will look hideous…:( )

11 Not So Little Sister March 13, 2008 at 8:16 am

I can’t decide if I’m looking forward to a button and zipper again or not. Going to the bathroom is so easy right now. 🙂 But I have had the same experience as you…hike up the pants every 2 seconds. Ugh. And now I can’t pull them up very far, thank you massive belly, and I have continual plumbers crack. I wore a longish sweater today so the top of my pants will be covered in the back just.in.case. Ugh.

Looking forward to my wardrobe full of skirts for spring and summer…

12 smothermother March 13, 2008 at 2:57 pm

Yeah for pants with zippers! After Max was born and I finally got into a “real” pair of jeans, I did a little happy dance. But after wearing them everyday for seven months, I was ready to burn them. I finally decided that I will never be the same shape I was before him and went on a shopping spree. I need to something to wear when I go back to work don’t I?

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