Transitional pants

by DaniGirl on September 25, 2006 · 33 comments

in Uncategorized

Like most women I know, I have jeans in an array of sizes. Sexy jeans, for when I’m feeling fit; ordinary jeans; and fat jeans. I’ve been living in my fat jeans on weekends since Labour Day, and all my work pants seem to have a bit of stretch in them (can I get a hallelujah for lycra?), so I haven’t been thinking much about maternity pants just yet. Denial is not just a river in Africa.

Mind you, I’m only 8 weeks pregnant, and you might think it’s a little early to be thinking about maternity pants anyway, third child or not. I think I was around twelve weeks when I finally started wearing them with Tristan, probably a little earlier than that with Simon. Then again, I also kept 10 extra pounds as a souvenir of each pregnancy, so I’m not exactly svelte to begin with.

So on Saturday, Simon smeared something of unmentionable origins on my otherwise clean (fat) jeans, and I found myself rooting through the closet on Sunday morning looking for something to wear. I tried on my ‘ordinary’ jeans, and to my utter dismay, I couldn’t even get the zipper done up. You can’t use the famous elastic-through-the-buttonhole trick if you can’t even get the friggin’ zipper done up. And I don’t really wear track pants or yoga pants, so I was pretty much looking at spending the day with a towel wrapped around my waist, which I probably would have been happy enough to do except we were meeting friends for breakfast.

So I took a deep breath and tried not to think about the fact that I’m only two months pregnant, and I pulled out a pair of maternity jeans. Right at that moment, I think my belly popped out. And yet, for the next two hours I pulled and tugged and yanked as those suckers slid right off my hips. The towel would have been easier and more flattering. I even tried safety-pinning the hem of my shirt to the waist of my pants, which promptly tore a hole in the hem of my shirt. And of course, every time gravity did its work and the pants slid down, they brought my underwear with them, so every two steps I had to not only hitch up my pants, but stick my hands into my pants and yank my underwear back into place as well.

Not pretty. Nothing puts me in a bad mood faster than pants that don’t fit. Oh, how I hate the transitional phase.

So after breakfast, the boys went to the bookstore while I went directly to the maternity store. Did you know they’ve invented stuff and totally changed the look of maternity clothes in the two years since I’ve had Simon? They have these pants called “now and after”, that are designed for the early months and the time immedately post-partum when you have all of the flab but none of the belly. They’re full of lovely lycra, and rather than a belly panel they have a thick elastic waist at the back, so the waistband runs under your belly. They’re actually rather flattering, so I bought two pairs – which I will alternate for the next month and a half. (Who am I kidding? At this rate, I’ll have outgrown the transitional pants by next Wednesday.)

And although they looked absolutely adorable in the store, and seemed to fit quite well, I discovered on the way to work this morning that they have the same gravitational susceptibility as my maternity pants.

If you see a girl wandering about downtown employing a rather unique and awkward-looking “step-step-hitch-step-step-dig-yank-step” gait, do be sure to say hello. I’m heading out to find some suspenders…


{ 32 comments… read them below or add one }

1 Sharon September 25, 2006 at 1:07 pm

Awww Dani….
I laughing here and I don’t want to but your too funny. I may just go downtown to see this walk of yours. Have you ever considered waorking for the ministry of silly walks? ๐Ÿ˜‰ (monty Python)
Hugs

2 Sharon September 25, 2006 at 1:07 pm

Awww Dani….
I laughing here and I don’t want to but your too funny. I may just go downtown to see this walk of yours. Have you ever considered waorking for the ministry of silly walks? ๐Ÿ˜‰ (monty Python)
Hugs

3 Beanie Baby September 25, 2006 at 1:32 pm

Dani, you just described my entire nine months.
When I was pg w/ Frances, everything was low-waisted, and I am high-waisted. How do you keep something low-waisted up on a pregnant lady whose waist was just below her ribcage to begin with?
I can’t tell you how many times I was running for the GO bus, one hand holding my purse, the other holding my pants up. Seriously. It gave me a whole new appreciation for why so many k/u women wear overalls. They stay up!
Anyway, I feel your pain. And we’ll rig something more dignified for the motherlode conference. ๐Ÿ˜‰

4 Beanie Baby September 25, 2006 at 1:32 pm

Dani, you just described my entire nine months.
When I was pg w/ Frances, everything was low-waisted, and I am high-waisted. How do you keep something low-waisted up on a pregnant lady whose waist was just below her ribcage to begin with?
I can’t tell you how many times I was running for the GO bus, one hand holding my purse, the other holding my pants up. Seriously. It gave me a whole new appreciation for why so many k/u women wear overalls. They stay up!
Anyway, I feel your pain. And we’ll rig something more dignified for the motherlode conference. ๐Ÿ˜‰

5 Valerie September 25, 2006 at 3:07 pm

I’d laugh, but I had the same problem. And as Beanie Baby said, for the entire pg’cy. Even when the maternity pants supposedly fit me, they still fell down. Fashion be d***’ed, I bought suspenders. Black ones that I wore under my shirts so you rarely saw them. Unfortunately, this means you have to remove your shirt every time you go p… (which is pretty often at the end!).

6 Valerie September 25, 2006 at 3:07 pm

I’d laugh, but I had the same problem. And as Beanie Baby said, for the entire pg’cy. Even when the maternity pants supposedly fit me, they still fell down. Fashion be d***’ed, I bought suspenders. Black ones that I wore under my shirts so you rarely saw them. Unfortunately, this means you have to remove your shirt every time you go p… (which is pretty often at the end!).

7 Snack Mommy September 25, 2006 at 3:12 pm

Yup, I had the same problem too. I was also thrilled when I discovered the new maternity pants last year. I was similarly thrilled to see how great they looked on….until I tried to walk. As long as you don’t mind the crotch of your pants hovering somewhere areound mid thigh, you’ll look great!

8 Snack Mommy September 25, 2006 at 3:12 pm

Yup, I had the same problem too. I was also thrilled when I discovered the new maternity pants last year. I was similarly thrilled to see how great they looked on….until I tried to walk. As long as you don’t mind the crotch of your pants hovering somewhere areound mid thigh, you’ll look great!

9 Marla September 25, 2006 at 3:13 pm
10 Marla September 25, 2006 at 3:13 pm
11 Suzanne September 25, 2006 at 3:17 pm

Laughing here, too, but with you, of course, not at you — that in-between phase is such a pain. I loved maternity jeans, though, once I was the right size for them. So comfy!

12 Suzanne September 25, 2006 at 3:17 pm

Laughing here, too, but with you, of course, not at you — that in-between phase is such a pain. I loved maternity jeans, though, once I was the right size for them. So comfy!

13 suze September 25, 2006 at 3:24 pm

oh, please let me know if and where you find suspenders! I’m doing a similar step-step-hitch routine but for different reasons. I’ve been losing weight, so my fat pants are far too large, but I’m not yet small enough for the few pairs of “thin” pants I held on to over the years, and since this weight loss thing seems to be a rather steady constant at the moment, i don’t want to buy new just to have them not fit in a few weeks.

14 suze September 25, 2006 at 3:24 pm

oh, please let me know if and where you find suspenders! I’m doing a similar step-step-hitch routine but for different reasons. I’ve been losing weight, so my fat pants are far too large, but I’m not yet small enough for the few pairs of “thin” pants I held on to over the years, and since this weight loss thing seems to be a rather steady constant at the moment, i don’t want to buy new just to have them not fit in a few weeks.

15 andrea from the fishbowl September 25, 2006 at 3:50 pm

I just got rid of all of my old ill-fitting jeans/pants. I had a GARGAGE BAG full of them. I practically slipped a disk when I hoisted them into the Goodwill bin.
And now I have one pair of jeans left. They’re the nice ones. And there’s a rip in the @ss which I have fixed with a safety pin.
I wish I had pregancy as an excuse!! ๐Ÿ™‚

16 andrea from the fishbowl September 25, 2006 at 3:50 pm

I just got rid of all of my old ill-fitting jeans/pants. I had a GARGAGE BAG full of them. I practically slipped a disk when I hoisted them into the Goodwill bin.
And now I have one pair of jeans left. They’re the nice ones. And there’s a rip in the @ss which I have fixed with a safety pin.
I wish I had pregancy as an excuse!! ๐Ÿ™‚

17 P. September 25, 2006 at 5:01 pm

I found your blog a few months ago and I have been reading along (and enjoying) silently. Congrats on your third and recent problem with pants!! I am a fellow Cdn living in CT and am 16 weeks pregnant with my first.
I have a solution that doesn’t involve suspenders. I recently discovered, ordered and have been loving a nifty little device called the Bella Band (www.bellaband.com). It is like a tube top of sorts for your belly .. works great over pants that are wide open (zipper down) and apparently also on keeping still too big maternity clothes up. They come in a variety of colours and for $26 is well worth it. I bought mine through babycenter.com but if you google it you will find a variety of places that sell it.
Enjoy!!

18 P. September 25, 2006 at 5:01 pm

I found your blog a few months ago and I have been reading along (and enjoying) silently. Congrats on your third and recent problem with pants!! I am a fellow Cdn living in CT and am 16 weeks pregnant with my first.
I have a solution that doesn’t involve suspenders. I recently discovered, ordered and have been loving a nifty little device called the Bella Band (www.bellaband.com). It is like a tube top of sorts for your belly .. works great over pants that are wide open (zipper down) and apparently also on keeping still too big maternity clothes up. They come in a variety of colours and for $26 is well worth it. I bought mine through babycenter.com but if you google it you will find a variety of places that sell it.
Enjoy!!

19 mrsgryphon September 25, 2006 at 6:46 pm

I’ll let you in on my maternity-pants secret: pick up a couple of microfiber tank tops at Motherhood Maternity – it sells for about $20, and comes in 3 neutral colours. Super comfy, super stretchy (fits from week 1 to 40!) and has the added benefit of helping to hold up your pants! Tuck it in or stretch it over the waistband, that microfiber stuff is sticky like velcro and it made life a lot more comfortable for me.

20 mrsgryphon September 25, 2006 at 6:46 pm

I’ll let you in on my maternity-pants secret: pick up a couple of microfiber tank tops at Motherhood Maternity – it sells for about $20, and comes in 3 neutral colours. Super comfy, super stretchy (fits from week 1 to 40!) and has the added benefit of helping to hold up your pants! Tuck it in or stretch it over the waistband, that microfiber stuff is sticky like velcro and it made life a lot more comfortable for me.

21 BubandPie September 26, 2006 at 1:13 am

I had my babies 20 months apart, and in between those two pregnancies, the fashion shift you’re describing took place. The new pants are cuter but less practical – and by the end of my pregnancy I was desperate because those giant-spandex-panel pants couldn’t be had for love or money and the little sit-below-the-belly pants were coming up somewhere around mid-thigh.
Thanks for bringing back all those not-so-pleasant memories!

22 BubandPie September 26, 2006 at 1:13 am

I had my babies 20 months apart, and in between those two pregnancies, the fashion shift you’re describing took place. The new pants are cuter but less practical – and by the end of my pregnancy I was desperate because those giant-spandex-panel pants couldn’t be had for love or money and the little sit-below-the-belly pants were coming up somewhere around mid-thigh.
Thanks for bringing back all those not-so-pleasant memories!

23 jo(e) September 26, 2006 at 2:15 am

Oh, this post brought back memories. I loved being pregnant but I do not miss maternity clothes AT ALL.

24 jo(e) September 26, 2006 at 2:15 am

Oh, this post brought back memories. I loved being pregnant but I do not miss maternity clothes AT ALL.

25 Sugarmama September 26, 2006 at 3:03 am

Big fan of the long, A-line maternity dress, myself, but then I’m a dress kind of girl anyway.

26 Sugarmama September 26, 2006 at 3:03 am

Big fan of the long, A-line maternity dress, myself, but then I’m a dress kind of girl anyway.

27 Karyn September 26, 2006 at 3:27 am

Yes, you’ve contemplated and then resorted to the maternity pants, but at least you’re PREGNANT!!! I’ve often thought of all those wonderfully stretchy and comfy mat. pants in my basement and wondered if anyone would notice that’s what they are as I wear them out, not even a little bit pregnant!
All hail the lycra!!!

28 Karyn September 26, 2006 at 3:27 am

Yes, you’ve contemplated and then resorted to the maternity pants, but at least you’re PREGNANT!!! I’ve often thought of all those wonderfully stretchy and comfy mat. pants in my basement and wondered if anyone would notice that’s what they are as I wear them out, not even a little bit pregnant!
All hail the lycra!!!

29 liz September 26, 2006 at 4:45 am

I second the maternity dress and overalls ideas.

30 liz September 26, 2006 at 4:45 am

I second the maternity dress and overalls ideas.

31 nancy September 26, 2006 at 1:20 pm

Sweats. You can finally wear sweats to work and have a damn good reason to. And if anyone would even consider questioning a hormonal pregnant woman, well, they had it coming to them.

32 nancy September 26, 2006 at 1:20 pm

Sweats. You can finally wear sweats to work and have a damn good reason to. And if anyone would even consider questioning a hormonal pregnant woman, well, they had it coming to them.

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