Audrey Hepburn I ain’t

by DaniGirl on September 19, 2006 · 24 comments

in Uncategorized

So this may come as a surprise to you, but I’m not much of a fashionista. You’re shocked, aren’t you? (Okay, stop laughing.)

I’ll admit, just about everything I know about style and fashion I get from What Not To Wear. That’s how I learned to stop wearing faded denim cropped tight at the ankle and get on board with my now beloved if ill-fitting wide-leg, low-rise, dark-wash jeans. The one message that has been drilled into my head over the past few years is that skinny-leg pants are evil. EVIL!

That’s why I was so alarmed the other day when we were watching the premier of Survivor and this ad for GAP’s latest look came on. If you can’t see it on YouTube, you can see it on GAP’s home page, too.

I must admit, I cried bitter, salty tears when I saw it. Of all this season’s fashion trends (more of that horrid puffy skirt, the big ruffled shirt, 80s shoulder pads and leg warmers) could you imagine one that would make a chubby pregnant woman of advanced maternal age look more ridiculous than skinny black jeans?


{ 24 comments… read them below or add one }

1 Myra September 19, 2006 at 2:29 pm

Trends be damned I say. And I think Stacy and Clinton would agree in this case. ๐Ÿ˜‰
Stick with a straight leg – which looks good on EVERYONE – and you can’t go wrong. Classic style always looks fashionable.
It goes without saying that I danced a jig when I heard that “higher” waists on Fall runways will mean a dramatic reduction in thong visbility… but I am appalled at the 80s trash that is being called cutting-edge fashion right now.
I mean – black leggings and BOOTIES?!!? – c’mon people! Have we not suffered enough by living through it already… not to mention having endured the plaid Sears portraits of the 70s?

2 Myra September 19, 2006 at 2:29 pm

Trends be damned I say. And I think Stacy and Clinton would agree in this case. ๐Ÿ˜‰
Stick with a straight leg – which looks good on EVERYONE – and you can’t go wrong. Classic style always looks fashionable.
It goes without saying that I danced a jig when I heard that “higher” waists on Fall runways will mean a dramatic reduction in thong visbility… but I am appalled at the 80s trash that is being called cutting-edge fashion right now.
I mean – black leggings and BOOTIES?!!? – c’mon people! Have we not suffered enough by living through it already… not to mention having endured the plaid Sears portraits of the 70s?

3 Suzanne September 19, 2006 at 2:42 pm

That’s why I don’t pay attention, or at least immediate attention, to fashion. I caught on far too late to the boot-cut wide-legged jean thing, and I’m not ready to toss those aside for completely unflattering skinny jeans!

4 Suzanne September 19, 2006 at 2:42 pm

That’s why I don’t pay attention, or at least immediate attention, to fashion. I caught on far too late to the boot-cut wide-legged jean thing, and I’m not ready to toss those aside for completely unflattering skinny jeans!

5 Marla September 19, 2006 at 3:21 pm

I have to say, I cried salty bitter tears too, just last week when I walked past the Gap and saw la Hepburn in the window…because for years…YEARS…fifteen years…(sob), I have had those exact pants. Side-zip, black, high-waisted tapered leg black pants, which I wore with Audrey Hepburnesque black turtlenecks and bateau-necked tops. Then, after they sat in my closet for about three years because yes, boot-cuts DO fool they eye into thinking my post-pregnant ass looked more proportionate…I donated them to Value Village. That was about five months ago.
It is just not fair.

6 Marla September 19, 2006 at 3:21 pm

I have to say, I cried salty bitter tears too, just last week when I walked past the Gap and saw la Hepburn in the window…because for years…YEARS…fifteen years…(sob), I have had those exact pants. Side-zip, black, high-waisted tapered leg black pants, which I wore with Audrey Hepburnesque black turtlenecks and bateau-necked tops. Then, after they sat in my closet for about three years because yes, boot-cuts DO fool they eye into thinking my post-pregnant ass looked more proportionate…I donated them to Value Village. That was about five months ago.
It is just not fair.

7 alison September 19, 2006 at 3:29 pm

Of course skinny-legged, high-waisted pants are coming back. Why? Well, because I finally got around to buying my first pair of boot-cut, low-rise jeans (last Saturday). And fate has decreed that I will never, never, never be fashionable. Ever.

8 alison September 19, 2006 at 3:29 pm

Of course skinny-legged, high-waisted pants are coming back. Why? Well, because I finally got around to buying my first pair of boot-cut, low-rise jeans (last Saturday). And fate has decreed that I will never, never, never be fashionable. Ever.

9 Trixie September 19, 2006 at 6:51 pm

GA(s)P! And have you seen the T-shirts dresses with leggings? Ack! I’ll reserve the bitter tears for when I spot those styles on the street..on women my age-ish. They’ve tried to bring back 80s madness before (there were Flashdance-style leg warmers on the runways last season!), but I’m as hesitant as you are to repeat past fashion mistakes for the sake of hipness. Now, the double long strand of fake pearls tied in a knot on the other hand….that was kinda cute ๐Ÿ˜‰

10 Trixie September 19, 2006 at 6:51 pm

GA(s)P! And have you seen the T-shirts dresses with leggings? Ack! I’ll reserve the bitter tears for when I spot those styles on the street..on women my age-ish. They’ve tried to bring back 80s madness before (there were Flashdance-style leg warmers on the runways last season!), but I’m as hesitant as you are to repeat past fashion mistakes for the sake of hipness. Now, the double long strand of fake pearls tied in a knot on the other hand….that was kinda cute ๐Ÿ˜‰

11 Fryman September 19, 2006 at 7:15 pm

Well, don’t know if you have them out east, but those sort of half/cropped sweaters would look really silly….
I mean, not normally, but given your future state…I mean I think they would look great if you weren’t…I mean you would look….Oh, forget it…you’ve seen me in pink Converse canvas hightops….

12 Fryman September 19, 2006 at 7:15 pm

Well, don’t know if you have them out east, but those sort of half/cropped sweaters would look really silly….
I mean, not normally, but given your future state…I mean I think they would look great if you weren’t…I mean you would look….Oh, forget it…you’ve seen me in pink Converse canvas hightops….

13 BeachMama September 19, 2006 at 8:29 pm

I hate to be the bearer of bad news, but the skinny jeans aren’t just at The Gap. They are everywhere. Which normally I wouldn’t mind, but since I can’t fit into my own skinny jeans in my closet, I will not be purchasing any more, until I can wear the ones I have.
I did see a woman in a white, over the shoulder sweater dress with a three inch wide leater belt around her waist and though “what on earth are you thinking” them remembered that the 80’s were making a come back. Not for me.

14 BeachMama September 19, 2006 at 8:29 pm

I hate to be the bearer of bad news, but the skinny jeans aren’t just at The Gap. They are everywhere. Which normally I wouldn’t mind, but since I can’t fit into my own skinny jeans in my closet, I will not be purchasing any more, until I can wear the ones I have.
I did see a woman in a white, over the shoulder sweater dress with a three inch wide leater belt around her waist and though “what on earth are you thinking” them remembered that the 80’s were making a come back. Not for me.

15 Sue September 20, 2006 at 2:25 am

No skinny jeans for this girl. Stacey and Clinton are right. They just are not flattering to most figures. I’ll be keeping my straight leg jeans, thanks.

16 Sue September 20, 2006 at 2:25 am

No skinny jeans for this girl. Stacey and Clinton are right. They just are not flattering to most figures. I’ll be keeping my straight leg jeans, thanks.

17 Rebecca September 20, 2006 at 10:31 am

They’ve been back in fashion in Britain for about a year now, mostly because of the indie music scene, where boys and girls wear the skinniest jeans imaginable in order to look exactly like the other sex. Baffling. I love the music and even some of the ‘scene’, but skinny jeans I aint never wore. The big beads and hats will suffice for me.
See Pete Doherty and Kate Moss for more ๐Ÿ˜‰

18 Rebecca September 20, 2006 at 10:31 am

They’ve been back in fashion in Britain for about a year now, mostly because of the indie music scene, where boys and girls wear the skinniest jeans imaginable in order to look exactly like the other sex. Baffling. I love the music and even some of the ‘scene’, but skinny jeans I aint never wore. The big beads and hats will suffice for me.
See Pete Doherty and Kate Moss for more ๐Ÿ˜‰

19 twinmomplusone September 20, 2006 at 5:45 pm

Personally I think the fashion industry has this conspiracy going on that whenever they figure most people have gone for the new trend and ditched out all their old clothes, then the old trends come back. Just a very nasty way of making people buy and buy and buy.

20 twinmomplusone September 20, 2006 at 5:45 pm

Personally I think the fashion industry has this conspiracy going on that whenever they figure most people have gone for the new trend and ditched out all their old clothes, then the old trends come back. Just a very nasty way of making people buy and buy and buy.

21 Sharon September 20, 2006 at 8:10 pm

Nope not wearing skinny jeans here… EVER AGAIN… God I’d look like I was going to topple over or something. WITH THESE HIPS… Gag me with a spoon. Maybe that is why I’m finding alot of wide leg gap jeans at VV these days….

22 Sharon September 20, 2006 at 8:10 pm

Nope not wearing skinny jeans here… EVER AGAIN… God I’d look like I was going to topple over or something. WITH THESE HIPS… Gag me with a spoon. Maybe that is why I’m finding alot of wide leg gap jeans at VV these days….

23 Sayre September 21, 2006 at 10:35 am

Well, in a way you’re lucky, Dani… not on the skinny jeans front but being pregnant – the leggings and long tops were just made for you. That’s what I wore when I was pregnant (AND hopelessly out of fashion) and it was SOOOOO comfortable! You can be comfortable AND fashionable at the same time!

24 Sayre September 21, 2006 at 10:35 am

Well, in a way you’re lucky, Dani… not on the skinny jeans front but being pregnant – the leggings and long tops were just made for you. That’s what I wore when I was pregnant (AND hopelessly out of fashion) and it was SOOOOO comfortable! You can be comfortable AND fashionable at the same time!

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