Little brother

by DaniGirl on September 26, 2006 · 24 comments

in Uncategorized

Simon is two and a half, just a few weeks shy of two years younger than Tristan. You could never convince him of that, though. Far as Simon is concerned, he and Tristan are equals, and there is nothing that Tristan can do that Simon can’t do, too.

That makes the whole school issue a little prickly. Tristan loves school; loves it so much that he asked me at least three times each day on Saturday and Sunday when he could go back to school again. I’m hoping that enthusiasm carries him through high school at least.

And of course I want to bolster that enthusiasm, so I ask him about his activities, and his classmates, and the other minutia of his day. Through it all, Simon interjects regularly with things like “I go to school, too! My turn?” It’s the first time in Simon’s life that they haven’t been spending all day every day together, and I think it’s been hard on him. I try to drum up the same enthusiasm with Simon for the daycare provider, but it’s obvious to all three of us that it’s not the same. Darn smart kids. Dumb ones would be much easier to fool.

Even though they’re two years apart, I’ve come to think of the boys as on relatively equal footing. But two years is a big gap, and there are going to be a whole lot of things in the next couple of years that Tristan can do that Simon simply won’t be ready for, whether by externally-imposed age restrictions or simply different social circles. I guess it’s not reasonable to expect a birthday invitation from a classmate would include preccocious younger brothers, but it’s rather painful to try to explain to the two year old who got left behind, let alone explaining to the big brother that you’d rather he didn’t talk about the party at home. I skipped enrolling Tristan in swimming lessons this fall, simply because there was no equivalent for Simon – he’s already done the Parents and Tots level, and he’s too young for the preschool lessons. But is that fair to Tristan? Ah, the angst!

And yet, whether because of or despite my clumsy efforts, they are clearly becoming friends as well as brothers. Tristan has decided in the past few days that he is “Lightning McQueen” from the Disney movie Cars, and has taken to calling Simon “Mater”. Neither one of them has seen the movie yet, but Beloved assures me that Mater is Lightning McQueen’s congenial sidekick, and Tristan has bestowed a compliment on Simon with this title. It’s a fairly accurate representation of their relationship at this point, not to mention how adorable it is to listen to them say, “Goodnight, Mater!” “Goodnight, Light Queen.”

Some time between now and Christmas, we’ll be moving Simon from his crib in his own room into a big-boy bed – in Tristan’s room. Stay tuned to see how that transition fares! And if there is any justice in the universe, the pregnancy gods will give me back my precious coffee before then. Cuz I think I’m going to need a LOT of caffeine to get through those days.


{ 24 comments… read them below or add one }

1 Phantom Scribbler September 26, 2006 at 2:59 pm

We are getting a lot of “I go to school just wike LG” around here, too. But she doesn’t seem to mean it with the deadly seriousness that Simon does — when I ask her if she really wants to go to school, she looks at me like I’m crazy and says, “NO!!”
We’ll be looking forward to reports from the big-boy bed. And sending you lots of virtual caffeine…

2 Phantom Scribbler September 26, 2006 at 2:59 pm

We are getting a lot of “I go to school just wike LG” around here, too. But she doesn’t seem to mean it with the deadly seriousness that Simon does — when I ask her if she really wants to go to school, she looks at me like I’m crazy and says, “NO!!”
We’ll be looking forward to reports from the big-boy bed. And sending you lots of virtual caffeine…

3 Donna September 26, 2006 at 3:38 pm

Dani – I’m sure you expect a comment from me on this post and rightly so! I am going through the exact, exact same stuff at home. Of course, Emily and Abby being the same age as your two, it is of no surprise. Abby wants to go to school too. As for the swimming lessons, I enrolled both girls at the same time, Abby gets to particpate in the parent-n-tot with moi (again) and I look forward to January when I can enroll her to go on her own. I see and treat my two as equals as well, which is really sad because they are clearly not.
Abby has also been called “Mater” a few times in our household. I put a stop to that..poor thing with the missing front tooth, it’s not even funny.
Sharing a room – thank goodness I dont’ have to deal with that. Emily is messy where Abby very neat. I don’t think it would work for us.
Isn’t it nice when they play well together? The girls are really starting to get along (finally) and it melts my heart when they hold hands to cross the street or when Emily says “Abby, we’ll be friends forever…”. I actually well up everytime!
Thanks for the post!
Donna

4 Donna September 26, 2006 at 3:38 pm

Dani – I’m sure you expect a comment from me on this post and rightly so! I am going through the exact, exact same stuff at home. Of course, Emily and Abby being the same age as your two, it is of no surprise. Abby wants to go to school too. As for the swimming lessons, I enrolled both girls at the same time, Abby gets to particpate in the parent-n-tot with moi (again) and I look forward to January when I can enroll her to go on her own. I see and treat my two as equals as well, which is really sad because they are clearly not.
Abby has also been called “Mater” a few times in our household. I put a stop to that..poor thing with the missing front tooth, it’s not even funny.
Sharing a room – thank goodness I dont’ have to deal with that. Emily is messy where Abby very neat. I don’t think it would work for us.
Isn’t it nice when they play well together? The girls are really starting to get along (finally) and it melts my heart when they hold hands to cross the street or when Emily says “Abby, we’ll be friends forever…”. I actually well up everytime!
Thanks for the post!
Donna

5 Sayre September 26, 2006 at 4:18 pm

It would be wonderful it your boys kept that school enthusiasm! Do all you can to encourage that. Maybe if Tristan has homework, let Simon sit at the table and do “homework” too.
One thing to watch for – Simon is trying to keep up with someone two years older than he is. The older they get, the bigger the gap will seem and at some point, Simon might decide that he’s just not very smart. Make sure he knows that he is – he’s so smart he’s almost on the same level as someone two years older! My best friend is having this issue now. Her son actually TOLD me he just wasn’t smart. It is, of course, total bull. I’m just saying… keep your eyes and ears open for that and be ready.

6 Sayre September 26, 2006 at 4:18 pm

It would be wonderful it your boys kept that school enthusiasm! Do all you can to encourage that. Maybe if Tristan has homework, let Simon sit at the table and do “homework” too.
One thing to watch for – Simon is trying to keep up with someone two years older than he is. The older they get, the bigger the gap will seem and at some point, Simon might decide that he’s just not very smart. Make sure he knows that he is – he’s so smart he’s almost on the same level as someone two years older! My best friend is having this issue now. Her son actually TOLD me he just wasn’t smart. It is, of course, total bull. I’m just saying… keep your eyes and ears open for that and be ready.

7 DaniGirl September 26, 2006 at 4:49 pm

Donna, I laughed out loud at the Mater and gap-tooth reference. Ouch!! Yes, I do think of you and your trio of lovelies a LOT lately – you’ve given me a lot of confidence, let me tell you!
Phantom, thanks for any energy you can spare. Maybe I can send some extra calories BB’s way?
And Sayre, you raise a very good point. I already see Simon’s frustration at not being as physically dextrous as his brother, I’ll have to be careful that he doesn’t develop too much of an inferiority complex. Although, reflecting on his personality, I don’t think that will ever be an issue!

8 DaniGirl September 26, 2006 at 4:49 pm

Donna, I laughed out loud at the Mater and gap-tooth reference. Ouch!! Yes, I do think of you and your trio of lovelies a LOT lately – you’ve given me a lot of confidence, let me tell you!
Phantom, thanks for any energy you can spare. Maybe I can send some extra calories BB’s way?
And Sayre, you raise a very good point. I already see Simon’s frustration at not being as physically dextrous as his brother, I’ll have to be careful that he doesn’t develop too much of an inferiority complex. Although, reflecting on his personality, I don’t think that will ever be an issue!

9 jo(e) September 26, 2006 at 6:46 pm

Two of my sons are like that — Boy in Black and With-a-Why. Except they are six years apart. With-a-Why has always hung out with Boy in Black’s friends. He started playing chess, for example, long before kindergarten because that is what the older kids were doing. So it’s been really difficult this fall with Boy in Black away at college ….

10 jo(e) September 26, 2006 at 6:46 pm

Two of my sons are like that — Boy in Black and With-a-Why. Except they are six years apart. With-a-Why has always hung out with Boy in Black’s friends. He started playing chess, for example, long before kindergarten because that is what the older kids were doing. So it’s been really difficult this fall with Boy in Black away at college ….

11 yvonne September 26, 2006 at 7:36 pm

BTW – if you are interested, Cars is playing at the Rainbow Cimemas for just $3 a person. We have been now five times to see it. At $3 I am not too concerned with the fact that we play outside the theatre in the hallway for our little intermission. ๐Ÿ™‚

12 yvonne September 26, 2006 at 7:36 pm

BTW – if you are interested, Cars is playing at the Rainbow Cimemas for just $3 a person. We have been now five times to see it. At $3 I am not too concerned with the fact that we play outside the theatre in the hallway for our little intermission. ๐Ÿ™‚

13 nancy September 26, 2006 at 7:49 pm

It’s a great movie, we talk a lot about how Mightning McQueen and Mater are best friends who help each other. We have a Cars poster on the basement wall.
I hope the special bonding things/words they will share will by far outweigh the challenges of the age difference.
Oh, and in regards to the bed switching: GOOD LUCK!!!!!!!!!!!!

14 nancy September 26, 2006 at 7:49 pm

It’s a great movie, we talk a lot about how Mightning McQueen and Mater are best friends who help each other. We have a Cars poster on the basement wall.
I hope the special bonding things/words they will share will by far outweigh the challenges of the age difference.
Oh, and in regards to the bed switching: GOOD LUCK!!!!!!!!!!!!

15 Marla September 26, 2006 at 11:20 pm

Wait until they fight over which one gets to marry my daughter!

16 Marla September 26, 2006 at 11:20 pm

Wait until they fight over which one gets to marry my daughter!

17 Sharon September 27, 2006 at 1:10 am

LMAO! @ Marla.
And It’s even hard between differnt sex sibs with a BIG age difference. nathan cannot understand why a BOY come to “play” with Miranda when he’s obvisouly the better choice. Or why he can’t go to the movies with her and her friends and etc. It’s hard but we try to spend fun time with him when she is occupied.
ANd Nathan loves cars too. but Miranda will NOT be Mater no matter what.
LMAO!

18 Sharon September 27, 2006 at 1:10 am

LMAO! @ Marla.
And It’s even hard between differnt sex sibs with a BIG age difference. nathan cannot understand why a BOY come to “play” with Miranda when he’s obvisouly the better choice. Or why he can’t go to the movies with her and her friends and etc. It’s hard but we try to spend fun time with him when she is occupied.
ANd Nathan loves cars too. but Miranda will NOT be Mater no matter what.
LMAO!

19 Sharon September 27, 2006 at 1:33 am

Oh and Nathan said to me one day. Mommy why has Miranda got a boyfriend? I said well that what happens when you get older you get a boyfriend or a girlfriend. Then he says…Well i wanted to Marry Miranda, she’s the only girl for me.
Choked me right up.

20 Sharon September 27, 2006 at 1:33 am

Oh and Nathan said to me one day. Mommy why has Miranda got a boyfriend? I said well that what happens when you get older you get a boyfriend or a girlfriend. Then he says…Well i wanted to Marry Miranda, she’s the only girl for me.
Choked me right up.

21 Suzanne September 27, 2006 at 2:28 am

I can relate to a lot of this (not the least of which is the Lightning McQueen/Mater pairing — although Sean calls himself “Lightning the Queen,” a story for another day).
We’ve just gone through the birthday party thing as well. Sean has recently been invited to a few parties to which Allie has not; Allie doesn’t understand this and has cried many a bitter a tear over being left out.

22 Suzanne September 27, 2006 at 2:28 am

I can relate to a lot of this (not the least of which is the Lightning McQueen/Mater pairing — although Sean calls himself “Lightning the Queen,” a story for another day).
We’ve just gone through the birthday party thing as well. Sean has recently been invited to a few parties to which Allie has not; Allie doesn’t understand this and has cried many a bitter a tear over being left out.

23 Chantal September 27, 2006 at 2:50 am

I love stories like this. Our older two are 16 months apart and I often consider them equals too. When Kristyn started JK and Erin was at home with me, I saw how much it pained Erin to realie Kristyn was older and moving on. The gap closed a bit when Erin started Gr 1 and Kristyn Gr 3. Sort of a new level playing field.
Then we have Alex and Meg. We call them The Gruesome Twosome. Those two can raise a little hell, allright. ๐Ÿ™‚
Can you imagine how much this little one is going to look up to Tristan and Simon. It almost makes me a little teary thinking about it!

24 Chantal September 27, 2006 at 2:50 am

I love stories like this. Our older two are 16 months apart and I often consider them equals too. When Kristyn started JK and Erin was at home with me, I saw how much it pained Erin to realie Kristyn was older and moving on. The gap closed a bit when Erin started Gr 1 and Kristyn Gr 3. Sort of a new level playing field.
Then we have Alex and Meg. We call them The Gruesome Twosome. Those two can raise a little hell, allright. ๐Ÿ™‚
Can you imagine how much this little one is going to look up to Tristan and Simon. It almost makes me a little teary thinking about it!

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