A love letter to Katie, 1999 to 2013

by DaniGirl on March 2, 2013 · 12 comments

in Life, the Universe and Everything, Loss

My darling Miss Katie,

You arrived in our lives when our lives were just coming together. Before we were married, before three noisy boys, before we owned a house, before it all came lovely Miss Katie, our first baby. When a friend of a friend had a litter of pups in need of a home, we went out expecting to take home one of the litter with your mother’s black and tan shepherd markings. But you, you joyfully yellow little pup, stole our hearts.

Katie, 1999 to 2013

You came home to live in our new home just a few days after our honeymoon, and promptly turned our lives upside down. Rambunctious and clever, you failed puppy kindergarten not once but twice. You ate shoes, eyeglasses and, memorably, a can of coffee, among many other things in your puppyhood. One night I called my mother in tears, wondering how I would ever raise children if I couldn’t train this insane bundle of energy wrapped in yellow fur. And then, finally, we brought you to proper obedience class, and you became the dog you were destined to be – the perfect companion, save a few bad choices over the years. The unfortunate eating of the meringue from a lemon meringue pie comes to mind.

Poor Katie

Once upon a time, when we thought we would never have children, I cried into your patient fur and imagined myself pushing you in a pram at the mall, a pink frilled bonnet on your head. I knew you wouldn’t mind.

DSC_2230

Then, miraculously, there was a baby, and you welcomed him with spirited curiosity. I still remember our first night home with Tristan, how you held vigil over the mewling thing in the cradle, and how you drew my attention urgently to him with every move and sound he made. “Did you see?” you seemed to ask. “Look, it’s moving. What is it? What should we do with it?”

DSC_0541

And then came two more babies, and you welcomed them too. Toddler Tristan howled with glee from his exersaucer as you raced silly doggy loops around the house. Curious babies pried open your lips to examine your teeth, lifted your ears and pulled your feet and tail, even used you as a step to climb onto the sofa, and you simply looked at me with your patient doggy face: “I get extra treats for this, right?” When they went too far, you opened your giant toothy jaw and used your head to shove them carefully away without even so much as a snarl.

25:365 One for you and one for me

We lost two cats and many years later found another, and you welcomed Willie with the same patience you welcomed the boys. He hissed and spat, and you sniffed curiously, and when he wanted to wrestle you rolled him across the floor like a beanbag with your careful paw. To our ongoing surprise, you never tolerated him cuddling you, though. Only people were allowed that privilege.

Willie for the blog

I miss you deeply, Katie. I miss you so much I can’t really even get my head around it yet. There’s a giant gaping hole in our lives where you’ve been for the past 14 years. Even knowing you could not, would not last forever doesn’t seem to ease the grief. Neither does knowing that in the end, you did not suffer. We think maybe you had a stroke, because yesterday morning you were more or less fine, and then you were not. And the hardest thing I’ve ever had to do was to bring you to that end, and hold you until it was done. And then walk away without you.

554:1000 Miss Katie

Katie, I’m not sure I know how to say goodbye to you. Everyone who met you knows what an extraordinary, once-in-a-lifetime sort of dog you were. Even as I type this, I’m still listening for the sound of your endlessly growing claws on the hardwood, and picking your ubiquitous fur out of the weave of my sweater. Waking up this morning and knowing you were not on your blanket at the foot of the bed was heartbreaking all over again. I wish you were still here, that I could turn back time and that we could go for a walk together in the woods, like we did when you were a pup and had so much extra energy to burn.

468:1000 Doggy love

Katie, you were truly an amazing dog. You taught me so much about love, and you were such an extraordinary gift in our lives. Thank you, my sweet friend. Sleep well. You are deeply and dearly loved.


{ 12 comments… read them below or add one }

1 Melanie March 2, 2013 at 3:10 pm

Oh Dani so sorry to hear about the loss of your loving and lovely Katie. It will be such an adjustment for all of you. May the memories both in your heart and from your camera carry you through the days ahead.

2 Danielle March 2, 2013 at 3:22 pm

I’m so sorry.

3 smothermother March 2, 2013 at 3:58 pm

My heart breaks with yours and I send you and the whole family our deepest sympathies. Nothing hurts like loosing a precious member of the family like a beloved pet. I am truly sorry for your lose.

4 Sarah McCormack March 2, 2013 at 3:59 pm

So so sorry to hear of your loss Dani. i always say God got this wrong- dogs should live MUCH longer. a beautifully written tribute.. many will be in tears reading this, as was I.

5 Jody March 2, 2013 at 6:17 pm

I’m so sorry, Dani. I’m going to miss seeing Katie on your blog — I can’t imagine your lives without her.

6 Jill March 2, 2013 at 8:27 pm

So so sorry.

7 Amy March 2, 2013 at 9:05 pm

It’s an emptiness I remember well even 8 years later. I’m sorry she’s gone.

8 Neeroc March 2, 2013 at 10:09 pm

Dani, I’m so sorry. I remember Chet crying every time V cried, thanks for reminding me. Beautiful pictures of a beautiful pup.

9 Finola March 3, 2013 at 2:24 pm

What a beautiful tribute to a beautiful dog. I’m so sorry. šŸ™

10 chichimama March 3, 2013 at 3:33 pm

I am so very very sorry for your loss, my thoughts are with your family.

11 Coffee with Julie March 5, 2013 at 12:17 pm

I’m so, so sorry. Losing Katie must be really hard right now. I remember how much I hurt and how much I bawled when we lost Riley after 10 years in 2008. Thinking of you and all the family. ((HUGS))

12 Val March 8, 2013 at 9:46 pm

I’m so terribly sorry for your loss. I know how very difficult and painful it is to lose a loved family member. My deepest condolences to you and your family.

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