I was really excited about attending a bar camp event to discuss government and social media, something you might remember I was specializing in back in my other life before Lucas came along. I’d even managed to get Beloved to take the afternoon off work and take care of the boys so I could attend.
I’d been looking forward to it for weeks, and thought it would be an excellent opportunity to not only stay current in my field, but to make some good contacts, too. After all, this blissful interruption of my regular life otherwise known as maternity leave will end in February.
I wore make-up! And my shiny shoes with the kitten heels. My home-with-the-boys shoes never go click-click-click when I walk.
They were discussing some pretty cool stuff – current practices, common hurdles, governance issues. All of it very relevant to what I was doing before February, fascinating to me personally, and all of it in a very open, informal, engaging discussion. There was a great presentation on how one department was using wikis, and for the first time I really *get* why people use them.
And you know what? I totally flaked out and left after two hours. Matter of fact, I kind of left in the middle of a conversation with one of my colleagues during the coffee break. I’d gone down to get a bottle of water and some cash from the ATM to pay for parking (one thing I don’t miss — driving and paying for parking downtown. Yikes!) and when I got outside, I just kept walking. I realized that interesting though the presentation was, I’d simply rather be at home. The job will still be there in five months waiting for me, and the social media universe will have evolved again. I can make and remake all my contacts then.
February is not going to be pretty.
I just snorted tea up my nose, you are hilarious! LOVE it!
Ohhh my….
This brought me a flash back of a similar event for myself…in which I started a job and kept being weepy and teary eyed on my breaks and a wee bit in between. Finally on my second or third day I ducked out to the back and sat in a ratty old chair and let the water works go…my boss came out and asked what was going on (did some one die? etc…) – and once I sniffed up enuf snot to talk – I moaned, “I just wanna go hooooome!” So I quit right then and there, and walked the two blocks home, and spent the next half a year at home with my one and a half year old son!
Guess maternal instincts and hormonal imbalances after birth leave us pretty messed up for quite a while, eh? This would not normally be how I react to situations at work…LOL
Hang in there Dani!! You’re obviously RIGHT where you need to be!!
Good for you Dani.