Thoughts on induction and actually having this baby

by DaniGirl on February 4, 2008 · 20 comments

in Postcards from my uterus

So it looks like I’ll be induced after all. Am I surprised? No. Am I disappointed? Yeah, a little bit. I have been looking forward to the surprised delight of that moment when I really *knew* I was in labour — the escalating contractions, the surprise water breaking (not, as I had feared what seems like years ago, on the bus!), the phone calls to summon family and labour partners, the excitement of spontaneity. Simply packing up and driving to the hospital as if for a regular old appointment is rather anticlimactic after the endless scenarios I’d been envisioning over the past few weeks.

Induced labours are also a little harder on the body, with more powerful and intense contractions. I had been non-commitally thinking that maybe I’d try this labour without an epidural. Third labours are supposed to be shorter (gawd, after 27 and 23 hours, it couldn’t possibly be longer!) and in both previous labours the anesthesiologist had such a hard time getting the damn epidurals to work that I was practically drug-free for Simon anyway. (For Tristan, I ended up dead numb from my ankles to my rib cage after the second epidural, because the first one wouldn’t ‘take’.) So because I am feeling no fear right now, and because I know I can do this, I’m considering a drug-free birth… in the cool calm of the penultimate evening, at least.

I’m surprisingly calm about the idea of the labour and delivery. This may in fact be some form of denial on my part. Honestly, I’m actually looking forward to it. Knowing this is the last time I’ll ever be going through this, and having absolute relatively strong confidence in my ability to birth babies, makes me look forward to the whole thing with anticipation. The midwives have helped me hone this attitude, too. I feel confident that they’ll be there to help me navigate the pain in a natural sort of way, and as long as we get things rolling tomorrow as planned, my favourites of the midwifery team will be there. I’m curious to see how different the experience is with them. They know I’m willing to try med-free, but I’ve also said that I reserve the right to change my mind and that it’s important to me that they respect my decision if enough time remains for the epidural and I change my mind. Since I’m already around 3 cm dilated, who knows how long we’ll have? (Then again, given my current inability to sustain a set of contractions, who knows how long this induction might take?)

So the deal, as I understand it, is that the hospital will call me some time very early tomorrow morning with instructions. I imagine they could tell me anything from “be here in an hour” to “come in for 8 pm” to “we’ve just had a baby rush, we’ll have to put you off until tomorrow.” I’m only 40w4d as of tomorrow, and baby is in no distress, so the only thing that puts me on the priority list is the fact that he’s enormous and growing by the day. My fundal height is already way over 41 weeks, so he’s a big’un. Tristan was 9 lbs and Simon 10 lbs, so another 10 lbs-er isn’t out of the question. If they induce me during the day, my mom and Beloved will both be able to attend the birth as the boys will be with our darling nanny, but I can only ask her to look after them until dinner time or so. I’d really like my mom to be there, but she’ll have to take care of them for the evening and overnight, so I’m hoping for a daytime labour and birth!

Whatever time I’m summoned to the hospital, they’ll try cervadil first, and break my water if the baby is low enough. (Simon was minus 3 station even after a dozen hours of induction intervention at the hospital and so high up my cervix that they simply couldn’t break my water without risking cord prolapse.) Pitocin is the absolute last resort, and with Simon they had cranked the drip up to the maximum through the endless induction and still he almost didn’t come out. We were just discussing the possibility of a c-section (at which point I cried like a baby in fear and disappointment) to go in and get him when my water broke and he came barrelling out within an hour or so.

After all this time, it seems kind of surreal to be sitting here thinking about the fact that I’ll likely (but not definitely!!) be having this baby tomorrow. I’m sure there are things I’m supposed to be doing, and I have been extra cuddly with the boys this evening, but I just can’t wrap my brain around the fact that the time is actually nigh!! I’ve been teased so many times by the potential of his imminent arrival that I just can’t believe that it is actually going to happen — talk about cry wolf!

(Speaking of cry wolf, just as I am about to hit “publish” on this long and rambly post, there goes the first contraction I’ve felt in about eight hours. O treacherous uterus, you do vex me so…)

{ 20 comments… read them below or add one }

1 Mad Hatter February 4, 2008 at 7:52 pm

Since this is likely your last post pre-baby, I’ll just say: Rock the joint, Dani.

2 juls February 4, 2008 at 8:05 pm

Good luck tomorrow! Can’t wait to virtually meet Player to be Named in the next little while. Happy Birthing!

3 Not So Little Sister February 4, 2008 at 8:05 pm

I can’t wait for this baby to get here!!! And I hope things go smoothly and you are able to have a med-free labor and delivery.

My captcha: variation neared Hmmmm

4 JoJo February 4, 2008 at 8:06 pm

I can’t wait to hear all about this little one! Good luck tomorrow and I will light a candle for you!

5 Bex February 4, 2008 at 8:10 pm

Can’t wait to hear the name of the PTBNL! All the best Dani! Happy Birthing Day to you!!! Will be thinking of you!!!

6 jennyandtim February 4, 2008 at 8:23 pm

Best of luck to all of you tomorro.

7 Karen February 4, 2008 at 8:36 pm

Good luck tomorrow, Dani. I won’t give you my story of induction. It’s an ugly one. I hope it is better for you. The midwives however will be amazing and will for sure be a different experience than you’ve had in the past. You’ll love it! (as much as you can love birthing, I suppose!).

8 Chris (Mombie) February 4, 2008 at 8:49 pm

Good luck either way, Dani! I hope it goes super-easy for you.

9 dean dad February 4, 2008 at 9:11 pm

Go Dani! We’re rootin’ for ya!

10 Mom On The Run February 4, 2008 at 9:15 pm

Good luck tomorrow! You can do it! Push ’em out, shove ’em out waaaaay out!

11 Kerry February 4, 2008 at 9:21 pm

Very exciting, Dani! I had a wave of people in the office today asking me about you and if there was any news. We’re all waiting for the first photos from Beloved. And, of course, your sweaty, tired, and very happy smile.

12 Ingrid February 4, 2008 at 9:39 pm

Good luck tomorrow! Will you send a last post before you leave for the hospital?

13 revdrmom February 4, 2008 at 9:57 pm

Go Dani! Go PTBNL!

Hope everything goes well.

14 Jen February 4, 2008 at 9:57 pm

I’ll be sending good vibes in an easternly direction!!

15 Shauna February 4, 2008 at 10:01 pm

I’m so excited for you! FWIW I did L&D med free and it was fine. I had intended on an epidural (I was induced btw) but didn’t have time for one once things got rolling. I was quite put out by this at the time!! In the end although I would’ve liked a break from those contractions when it came time to know what to do, no one had to tell me. My body gave me all the direction I needed. ๐Ÿ™‚ I have no regrets.

If I ever get pregnant again, I’ll probably go natural by choice. (But, like you, I reserve the right to change my mind. ๐Ÿ™‚

Best of luck tomorrow Danigirl!

16 cinnamon gurl February 4, 2008 at 10:34 pm

Good luck!!! I’ll be thinking of you!

17 Batman February 4, 2008 at 10:51 pm

Woohoo! This is so exciting. Good luck tomorrow.

18 nancy February 4, 2008 at 11:07 pm

You go girl!!

19 Nora Bee February 5, 2008 at 12:41 am

This is way, way, exciting. We’ll be rooting for you!

20 Casey February 5, 2008 at 6:59 am

Good luck, Dani!

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