Interminable Intermezzo, or, Seven thoughts on the end of pregnancy

by DaniGirl on January 22, 2008 · 12 comments

in Postcards from my uterus

Back a couple of weeks ago, Rebecca from Adventures in Mommyhood tagged me for the “seven weird things about me” meme. I think the blog is a testament to the fact that there are far more than seven things that are weird about me, so I’m going to twist this one into the new all-uterus-all-the-time format of blog and adapt it to be “seven things about the end of this pregnancy” meme.

  1. I feel like I’m caught in suspension between two worlds. It’s been almost a week since I’ve been at work, but baby shows no signs of arriving. Theoretically, it could be as long as seventeen or even twenty days (whimper) until baby arrives, but the midwives are now so concerned about his size that they said they won’t make me go much over seven days past my due date. Every twitch and twinge is cause for serious – and ultimately disappointing – analysis. Does anybody else find it terribly ironic that pregnancy is bookended by an obsession with finding, or not finding, some predictive smudge on the toilet paper?
  2. Further to point one, I have now made it my full-time occupation to entice this baby into leaving my womb. Beloved hasn’t gotten this lucky since the good ole days of trying to get knocked up in the first place, and I’m chugging red raspberry leaf tea like it’s going out of style. I walked loops around Bayshore Shopping Centre for a while yesterday morning, and took the dog for a rather frigid walk around the block after dinner. I swear, I haven’t had this much exercise since the good ole days of trying to get knocked up in the first place!! So far, I have tired feet and an incredibly sore pelvis, and one good contraction to show for my efforts. Bah.
  3. I have two emotional channels right now, and I vacillate randomly – and regularly – between them. One is a blissful sense of contentment, where all I can think about is how much I love my boys, how wonderful they are and how great my life is. The other is a deep and dangerously cranky annoyance with the entire universe and its conspiracy to irritate the shit out of me by any and all means possible. Aren’t you glad you aren’t Beloved right about now?

  4. Speaking of Beloved, he’s an angel. No, really, you have no idea how great he has been during this last stretch of pregnancy. From turning the other cheek again and again in the face of my increasingly irrational hormonal outbursts to taking on the lions share of just about everything around the house to not blinking an eye when I ask him to massage my poor beleaguered tailbone (I can’t help think of Peggy Bundy saying “Rub my toushie!”), he’s been a superhero.
  5. Despite the fact that I’m nearly catatonic with exhaustion, I can’t sleep more than an hour or two at a time during the night. It’s getting so bad that I’ll roll over to look at the clock (itself an effort of Herculean proportions!) and whimper with dismay when I see that it’s still only three or four o’clock in the morning. More than once, I’ve found myself thinking, “Oh my god, is it not even morning YET? Will this night never end?”
  6. I have become a space cadet. I can’t tell you the number of times I find myself, during the course of a day, sitting and staring off into space – often while holding a half-folded sock in my hand, or in the middle of looking for a can of soup in the cupboard. My brain has deserted me entirely.
  7. I have three speed settings right now: slow, really slow, and glacially slow. Our phone rings four times before the voice mail kicks in, and more than once I have missed a call because four rings isn’t enough for me to haul myself off the couch and make it the fourteen steps around the end of the couch and into the next room to get to the phone. My new theme song is Mussorgsky’s “The Ox Cart” from his Pictures at an Exhibition symphony, which Beloved hums at me regularly. (And yet, I still love him. Go figure.)

Now if you’ll excuse me, it’s time for my next dose of evening primrose oil and I have to massage the accupressure points on my ankles…

{ 11 comments… read them below or add one }

1 Shauna January 22, 2008 at 8:23 am

Ha! I remember before I gave birth in April there was a big snow storm. I resolutely went out to shovel the drive hoping that it would kickstart labour. My kindly neighbour came out and gave me shit. I couldn’t bring myself to tell him that I was trying to get things moving while I watched him huff and puff over the snow in my drive.

After multiple walks, shovelling attempts and sex I realized that there was just no moving her along. πŸ™‚

2 Rebecca January 22, 2008 at 9:21 am

Thanks for the linkage, and my sympathies on how you’re feeling.

Guess there’ll be no Jan 22 @ 2:05pm baby, huh? I was hopeful – and not just cuz I’d win! LOL! There is nothing better than holding that brand new baby, smelling that smell, touching that amazing skin and knowing you did it – and I know you’re so very ready to be there.

I’m just a touch jealous… MY baby turns 3 today. Hang in there… he’ll be here before you know it!

3 Chantal January 22, 2008 at 10:43 am

Has your midwife suggested a Chiro visit yet? She may not till you are overdue (which hopefully won’t happen). I know this amazing Chiro (only pain is that she is in Westboro) who specializes in Pregnant women and children. Let me know if you want her contact info. Midwifery Group refers their clients to her all the time, that is how I found her.

4 daysgoby January 22, 2008 at 11:11 am

We resorted to sugar. I bought a fistful of lollipops and waved them between my knees, chanting ‘We have CANDY!’ and the little begger STILL wouldn’t move. hmph. That may be the ONLY time he’s ever turned down a lolly.

5 DaniGirl January 22, 2008 at 11:16 am

Ha, Shauna, I’ve just come in from shovelling the driveway. After visiting the gym. Sorry, Rebecca, looks like we’re out of luck with our predictions! But happiest of happy birthdays to your little one!!!

Chantal – I’ve always been a little skeptical about chiros myself, but desperate times and all that. I have an appointment tomorrow — I’ll see what they think.

Jess, Beloved has taken to telling the baby go “go into the light!” Maybe some lollipops would do the trick, they seem to work charms on the big boys and it’s the treat of choice at Granny’s house!

(Ha, my captcha is “commando son” — yep, that’s how he’ll arrive, with no underwear!)

6 Kathryn January 22, 2008 at 2:32 pm

Ha! That smudge on the toilet paper. I remember checking for that every 30 seconds.
This time is so hard right now. So draining. The constant wondering. I remember it well.
Because my first two boys were early I assumed the third boy would be early as well. He was late. I remember I was going to the doc 2 to 3 times a week checking to see if I was dilating more. It was nuts. The last visit to the doc I was laughing so hard I was almost crying. It was crazy.
And I tried all the gimicks to get baby out too. None of them worked. On the night we were scheduled for our induction, baby came out. I guess they are ready when they are ready.
Hang in there!

7 Miche January 22, 2008 at 4:07 pm

Sending virtual back rubs and foot massages!

8 Ingrid January 22, 2008 at 7:42 pm

I know it seems like a long wait ( all 3 of mine were late) but remember that the due date is still 9 days away. So you’re not late ( yet).Once you pass the due date, every hour feels like a day, but right now, enjoy the time, the freedom you have, and the fact that the number of parents equals the number of children.
Spend some extra time pampering your self and the boys, cause once #3 comes, it will be a long time until you can do that again. Maybe some special mom and Tristan time, followed by mom and Simon time, doing something that particular child really likes. Go for supper with beloved alone.
Have a pedicure, go swimming, read a book, light some candles.

9 MomOnTheGo January 23, 2008 at 9:08 am

Two random thoughts as comments (though I have no excuse for my inability to group ideas together):
1. You can change the number of times your phone rings before the voicemail picks up if you use Bell (and maybe others). No sense in dealing with frustration you don’t need.
2. The delivery nurses and my doula suggested nipple stimulation when I was admitted because my water broke with no sign of labour. It didn’t work for me but it might be worth a try – you have time on your hands.

I recommend a massage and a pedicure. The massage will be for you and the pedicure for the midwives who will spend all that time near your feet. I had my toe nails painted dark blue when Reid was born and the nurses all commented on it .

10 Chantal (Bread Crumbs) January 23, 2008 at 1:03 pm

Hmm… the thing with the RRL tea is that it’s not technically an inducer. It’s more of a toner. So, while your uterus will be insanely toned and preparered when labour does start (and it will work more efficiently), it won’t necessarily start labour.

Is considered the bible of natural induction methods – most, if not all, are things you’d want to consult with your midwives about first though.

That said, castor oil worked in about 90% of my clients. (I was going to add “I shit you not” to that, but that’s just not funny, is it?) It’s not a pleasant way to start labour, but it usually works. I recommended membrane stripping 24 hours apart, a nice sized dinner and two doses of castor oil cocktail the morning after. One at 5am and one at 9am. It’s called the “Baby By Dinnertime” method of induction. πŸ™‚

11 Mom On The Run January 24, 2008 at 9:23 pm

Two words: breast pump. It does wonders for kicking baby outta the womb!

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