Tristan told his first joke the other day.
“How do you stop a cat from meowing in the back seat?”
“You throw him in the front seat.”
I laughed, partly because lame though it was, I’d never heard it before, but mostly because I was delighted that Tristan joins a long line of ancestry in love with bad jokes.
Of course, that was immediately followed by a thousand nonsensical and increasingly unfunny versions from both boys, including “How do you get a pepperoni to stop pizzaing in the back seat?” “You put it in the front seat.” If nothing else, they got the format down pat.
Previously, knock-knock jokes reigned supreme. My repitoire for knock-knock jokes is unparalleled.
Knock-knock.
Who’s there?
Isabelle.
Isabelle who?
Isabelle broken? I had to knock.
Knock-knock.
Who’s there?
Police.
Police who?
Po-lice open the door, it’s freezing out here.
Knock-knock.
Who’s there?
Dwayne.
Dwayne who?
Dwayne the bathtub, I’m dwowning!
The boys are good at memorizing them, but also favour the non-seqitor over an actual pun. For instance:
Knock-knock.
Who’s there?
C3p0.
C3p0 who?
C3P0 ate spaghetti for dinner!
I think we need some new material. Care to dip into your repretoire and share your fave kid jokes?
A few favourites from over here:
Why was 6 afraid of 7?
Because 7 ‘ate’ 9.
What do you call superheroes who have been run over by a truck?
Flatman and Ribbon.
Ask me if I’m a cow.
Are you a cow?
NO!
Where did the sheep get his hair cut?
The baa baa shop.
Knock Knock
Who’s there?
Banana
Banana who?
knock knock
Who’s there?
Banana
Banana who?
Knock knock
Who’s there?
Banana
Banana who?
knock knock
Who’s there?
Orange
Orange who?
Orange you glad I didn’t say banana?
Knock knock
Who’s there?
Boo
Boo hoo
Don’t cry! It’s your birthday!
And for pure confusion, one of my dad’s: “I’ve got this great new knock knock joke for you…you start.”
I was going to do the banana-orange joke! That’s the first knock-knock joke I taught my son! I LOVE that one!!
Also —
Why don’t cannibals eat clowns?
Because they taste funny!
Can’t wait to tell my mom your cat joke… she’s going to love that one!
Current faves in our house:
Where does Batman take a shower?
In the Batroom!
What city has the most cows?
Mooooo-York!
What do fireflies say when they start a race?
Ready, set, GLOW!
Knock knock
Who’s there?
Hatch
Hatch who?
Bless you.
What is it called when a ghost makes a mistake?
A Boooo-boooo
How does a cow cut the grass?
With his lawn-moooooer.
There’s more…I’ll get back to you.
Great start! Chris reminded me of another perennial fave of ours:
Knock knock
Who’s there?
Boo
Boo who?
Don’t cry, it’s only a joke.
Our fave knock-knock goes like this:
Knock Knock!
Who’s there?
Interupting cow.
Interu–
MOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!
Great blog!!
You have to check out our site – you were nominated to having the best blog name out there!!
– Audrey
Pinks & Blues Girls
My oldest makes me laugh with this one:
What do you call cheese that’s not yours?
Nacho Cheese!
And my dad used to say “What’s the difference in an orange?” It makes no sense…but he said the answer was “Seven, because there are no bones in ice cream.”
And congratulations on your pregnancy! I haven’t been reading as much as I’d like.
Naked blonde walks into a bar with a poodle under one arm, and a two-foot salami under the other. The bartender says, I guess you won’t be needing a drink. Naked lady says….
OK, maybe not what you were looking for…but can you name the movie?
My Top 2
Why did the chicken cross the playground?
To get to the other slide!!!
What did the mayonaise say to the refrigerator?
Close the door, I’m dressing!!
Thanks, you’ve been a great audience. I’ll be here all week, try the veal.
Don’t know about the salami, but the veal comes from Shrek. Really, really.
Fryman, the next line in that joke is “Ohhhhh SHIT!” as Judd Nelson falls through the roof he has been crawling through. Breakfast Club. Way too easy. But, I’ve often wondered what the punchline to that one was!
Maybe not the most appropriate, but my kids think it’s hilarious:
What’s invisible and smells like carrots?
Bunny toots!
(With “toots” being our euphemism for…. well, you know!)
i also have always wondered what the punchline of that joke was!! love breakfast club!
We like this one these days (from The Pursuit of Happyness):
Knock knock
Who’s there?
Nobody.
Nobody who?
(Silence)
From a Xmas cracker:
Why do giraffes have such long necks?
Well have you ever smelled a giraffe’s feet?
I’m terrible at remembering jokes. That’s why my favourite little joke goes:
A moose walks into a bar and the bartender says, “Hey, why the long face?”
Thank you, thank you. Y’all have a good night now. 😀
My kids favour the non-sequitur knock knock jokes, too. Which crack me up. But they don’t know I’m really laughing at THEM!
the joke judd nelson was telling actually has no punchline he was addlibbing the seen i read this in a couple interviews he did