For the most part, potty training Tristan was a breeze. He waited until he was three and a half to be ready for it, but when he was ready, the transition was quick, painless and relatively dry. From the last day of diapers, we’ve had a total of maybe a dozen accidents at most. A year and a half later, however, one hurdle remains.
He refuses to wipe his own butt.
We’ve tried cajoling, reasoning, bribing and ignoring him, but he outwaits us every time. And for reasons I’ll never understand, the vast preponderance of the time, he likes to go when we are sitting at the dinner table.
Tristan, from the bathroom: “I’m done.”
Me, at the table: “Good.”
(pause)
Tristan: “Are you coming?”
Me: “No. Wipe yer own butt.”
Tristan, whining: “I can’t!”
Me: “Yes, you can.”
Tristan: “I don’t want to!”
Me: “Well, that’s probably closer to the truth. You have to learn to wipe your own butt, Tristan. Big boys wipe their own butts.”
(pause)
Tristan: “Is this Monday?”
Me, unfazed at the non-sequiter: “No, it’s Saturday.”
Tristan: “Well, I only wipe my own butt on Mondays.”
How do you argue with logic like that? He may have won again today, but you can bet he’s not getting away with it come Monday!
(Edited to add: and by God if he didn’t wipe his own butt on Monday. By his choice, mind you. He called from the bathroom, I reminded him it was Monday, and he said “Oh, okay” and did it. Who knew??)
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Echos of our youngest! We got tired of being called to wipe so we set a time limit, which happened to be when he turned 5.On his 5th birthday, we didn’t wipe – we only checked. Well, checking got tiresome (for us) so we told him that at Christmas we would no longer be wiping or checking. On Dec 23rd, as he was running to the bathroom he chirped out “only 2 more days of checking bum!!”.
This target date system seemed to work well for us; he now is somewhat condescending to children who are 6 and still have their mothers/fathers wipe their bums (that attitude did NOT come from us!!)
(rethinking the betrothal of our children)
Maybe Monday is National butt-wiping day. You never know. Kids, they know these things.
That’s too funny! It sounds like my house most days. I’ve found since I got him the little butt wipey thingies, he’s better at attempting on his own. Only now when he pees, he has to wipe that too!
My 5-year-old daughter has been having butt-wiping issues for the past year. We’ve gone through a lot of underwear, because you can only bleach those things so many times before they fall apart. She’s starting to get it now… She doesn’t want to be “stinky” at kindergarten.
I never cease to be impressed (and bewildered) by the advanced stalling and avoidance techniques of kids!
I’ve just begun the potty training with my youngest. And I’m still wiping the butt of my 4 year old. So, my days of butt cleaning are far from over! I just love the logic of your little one…doesn’t it stink when they are smarter than us?
My 5.5 year old says the same sort of things. She refuses to poop at school because I’m not there to wipe her butt. I’ve stopped now and refuse to do it. I bought her some flushable wipes so she has more confidence, but I told her 5.5 is my “ass wiping” cut off point!
Yeah, I’m still wiping the 4-yr-old’s butt too. Hey, maybe I could use that Monday thing…you know, tomorrow I could say, “Sorry, can’t wipe your butt today, it’s Monday – Wipe Your Own Butt day. And then it could be Wipe Your Own Butt week. You see where I’m going with this.
Good luck with Tristan. It’s a bit humbling how often we can be outwitted by our children.
My toddler is only 22 months but we’ve begun toilet training some time ago. Well, it’s more like “introductions” to the whole toiilet training issue. Anyway, after reading this post I realized that I am nowhere ready for this! It never occurred to me that a child would “go” but not “wipe”.
See, I knew there was a reason for surfing the blogsphere…
If you’re interested in my son’s toilet adventures at just prior to 2, the url for the label “toilet training” is pasted below (there’s only 6 short posts, scroll to the bottom for the first one):
http://nutty-notes.blogspot.com/search/label/Toilet%20training
Happy wiping!
Clever… seems logical… something is wrong, but I can’t pinpoint it.
Reminds me of a small cousin: “I’m not telling you you can’t come in my room, the sign is telling you. It says this is the zoo and the zoo is CLOSED!”
Another butt-wiper here to two 4.5 year olds. My goal is September, when they start full day kindergarten. Please tell me it is realistic.
I haven’t even bothered with letting J wipe his own butt. I figure it will happen when he is ready.
That’s too funny. He’s good, eh? Let’s try something along same the lines. Tell him next time, ‘well, I only wipe your butt on Tuesday nights.’
LOL. What can you say to that?
Nathan wipes just fine useless he has a had alot of fruit and then It’s MOM…and always while eating dinner. SIGH.
Now coan some tell me how to keep h im dry at nights?
SIGH.
This brings back the memories. And yes, like everyone else’s kids, always during dinner.
It took a while, but I made it a concerted “Learning how” campaign the summer before JK. So for a couple of months I sat on the edge of the tub while my dinner got cold, giving step by step instructions, but never helping. And then a bath at bedtime.
She still likes me to help when we are out in public though, and I do just to get the event over with.
Also, and here is my shameful secret, I can’t be bothered with frequent baths when it isn’t summer, so I wipe her bottom with a flushable wipe at bedtime just to be sure. Somedays nothing, some days a fair bit. She will get better at it eventually, right?
OMG that is just too funny!!!!
Today in Monday, hopefully he will keep his promise!
Dal
OMG – I had sudden flashbacks to my sister. She is four years younger, and I was horribly embarrassed when she went through the “I need someone to wipe my butt” phase. “MUUUU-um! I’m done,” she’d yell from the bathroom. Oh, the agony.
how clever he is! wonder where he gets taht from
)
btw, mine only wipe their butts if there are moist wipes around otherwise I get called to the rescue
soooo…Did he wipe his own butt today?
We have the same problem, btw.
21 comments on butt-wiping. 10 on your madd home improvement skillz. What does that say?
Well at least you can pretty much guarantee he will grow out of the phase . . . eventually
Try Kandoos. They smell nice and my boys go through them like candy.
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