I went in for a routine OB appointment today. I was delighted when she told me to hop up on the table so we could ‘take a listen’ – I had completely forgotten I should now be far enough along to hear the baby’s heartbeat on the doppler.
Except she couldn’t find it, and so we went to the ultrasound rooms on the other side of the clinic. I was still cracking jokes and cheerful – I just figured the baby was being stubborn.
She took two pictures, left and came back with an ultrasound tech. There was no heartbeat. The baby measures 14 weeks, but I should have been 16 weeks tomorrow. The very kind tech told me she could find no abnormalities, no reason the baby didn’t survive. Just one of those things, I guess.
I have a d & c scheduled for Wednesday. I haven’t been through something like this, so it’s a little bit scary – but better than the alternative of waiting for nature to take its cruel course.
It’s over. Four pregnancies, three lost souls. I thought by writing this down, it would snap me out of this bad dream, but it seems this is really happening.
Oh, Dani, I am so, so sorry.
Oh, Dani, I am so, so sorry.
So, so sorry.
So, so sorry.
My heart is breaking for you Dani.
Take as much time as you need to for yourself… it can’t be easy, but you are a strong woman & mother, and I know that with Beloved & the boys by your side you will get through this difficult time together as a family.
*(tears)*
My heart is breaking for you Dani.
Take as much time as you need to for yourself… it can’t be easy, but you are a strong woman & mother, and I know that with Beloved & the boys by your side you will get through this difficult time together as a family.
*(tears)*
Oh Dani, my heart is aching for you. I am so sorry.
Oh Dani, my heart is aching for you. I am so sorry.
Oh no…. I’m so sorry, Dani.
Oh no…. I’m so sorry, Dani.
Dani,
I’m so sorry that this happened to you. We’ll be thinking and praying for you tomorrow. the Boys and Beloved are so fortunate to have you. And so are each of the little souls that didn’t make it into your arms. Hugs.
Dani,
I’m so sorry that this happened to you. We’ll be thinking and praying for you tomorrow. the Boys and Beloved are so fortunate to have you. And so are each of the little souls that didn’t make it into your arms. Hugs.
I’m so very very sorry. My heart aches for you.
I’m so very very sorry. My heart aches for you.
Dani – I just have come to your blog for the first time in a few very busy days. I am so sorry. I know that there is nothing I can say to take the pain away and many things I can say that will marginalize your pain. All I have to say is that I am truly sorry and it hurts me to see you hurt.
Dani – I just have come to your blog for the first time in a few very busy days. I am so sorry. I know that there is nothing I can say to take the pain away and many things I can say that will marginalize your pain. All I have to say is that I am truly sorry and it hurts me to see you hurt.
Oh Dani, I’m so very sorry. I’ve been behind on my blog-reading and this took me by surprise. I’ll keep you and your family in my thoughts and prayers.
Oh Dani, I’m so very sorry. I’ve been behind on my blog-reading and this took me by surprise. I’ll keep you and your family in my thoughts and prayers.
I’m very sorry. I understand your pain going through 2 m/c in my life. Big healing hugs and vibes coming your way.
I’m very sorry. I understand your pain going through 2 m/c in my life. Big healing hugs and vibes coming your way.
I’m just catching up as well & I cannot believe this has happened. I am so sorry for your loss Dani. So very sorry.
I’m just catching up as well & I cannot believe this has happened. I am so sorry for your loss Dani. So very sorry.
So Sorry Dani
I have lost 2 babies this way myself in the last year, death diagnosed at scans ( 13 weeks +20 weeks ) It is heartbreaking, and 3 weeks on from losing my baby girl at 20 weeks I still cry often.
You have my deepest sympathy for your loss. Your little angel will be playing with mine in heaven and watching over your familya nd your precious boys.
Nicola.
So Sorry Dani
I have lost 2 babies this way myself in the last year, death diagnosed at scans ( 13 weeks +20 weeks ) It is heartbreaking, and 3 weeks on from losing my baby girl at 20 weeks I still cry often.
You have my deepest sympathy for your loss. Your little angel will be playing with mine in heaven and watching over your familya nd your precious boys.
Nicola.
Nicola… I’m so sorry for your losses. I simply can’t imagine going through all that twice in the same year, let alone the same lifetime. I wish you comfort and courage and peace. Thank you for taking the time to reach out.
Nicola… I’m so sorry for your losses. I simply can’t imagine going through all that twice in the same year, let alone the same lifetime. I wish you comfort and courage and peace. Thank you for taking the time to reach out.
Dani, I’m so sorry for your loss.
Dani, I’m so sorry for your loss.
Oh Dani. I am so, so sorry.
Oh Dani. I am so, so sorry.