It’s over – a miscarriage

by DaniGirl on November 20, 2006 · 130 comments

in Loss

I went in for a routine OB appointment today. I was delighted when she told me to hop up on the table so we could ‘take a listen’ – I had completely forgotten I should now be far enough along to hear the baby’s heartbeat on the doppler.

Except she couldn’t find it, and so we went to the ultrasound rooms on the other side of the clinic. I was still cracking jokes and cheerful – I just figured the baby was being stubborn.

She took two pictures, left and came back with an ultrasound tech. There was no heartbeat. The baby measures 14 weeks, but I should have been 16 weeks tomorrow. The very kind tech told me she could find no abnormalities, no reason the baby didn’t survive. Just one of those things, I guess.

I have a d & c scheduled for Wednesday. I haven’t been through something like this, so it’s a little bit scary – but better than the alternative of waiting for nature to take its cruel course.

It’s over. Four pregnancies, three lost souls. I thought by writing this down, it would snap me out of this bad dream, but it seems this is really happening.


{ 30 comments… read them below or add one }

1 Suzanne November 21, 2006 at 3:24 pm

Oh, Dani, I am so, so sorry.

2 Suzanne November 21, 2006 at 3:24 pm

Oh, Dani, I am so, so sorry.

3 Lugina November 21, 2006 at 3:34 pm

So, so sorry.

4 Lugina November 21, 2006 at 3:34 pm

So, so sorry.

5 Sara November 21, 2006 at 9:23 pm

My heart is breaking for you Dani.
Take as much time as you need to for yourself… it can’t be easy, but you are a strong woman & mother, and I know that with Beloved & the boys by your side you will get through this difficult time together as a family.
*(tears)*

6 Sara November 21, 2006 at 9:23 pm

My heart is breaking for you Dani.
Take as much time as you need to for yourself… it can’t be easy, but you are a strong woman & mother, and I know that with Beloved & the boys by your side you will get through this difficult time together as a family.
*(tears)*

7 Chantal November 21, 2006 at 9:52 pm

Oh Dani, my heart is aching for you. I am so sorry.

8 Chantal November 21, 2006 at 9:52 pm

Oh Dani, my heart is aching for you. I am so sorry.

9 Sayre November 22, 2006 at 2:30 am

Oh no…. I’m so sorry, Dani.

10 Sayre November 22, 2006 at 2:30 am

Oh no…. I’m so sorry, Dani.

11 Terry November 22, 2006 at 4:09 am

Dani,
I’m so sorry that this happened to you. We’ll be thinking and praying for you tomorrow. the Boys and Beloved are so fortunate to have you. And so are each of the little souls that didn’t make it into your arms. Hugs.

12 Terry November 22, 2006 at 4:09 am

Dani,
I’m so sorry that this happened to you. We’ll be thinking and praying for you tomorrow. the Boys and Beloved are so fortunate to have you. And so are each of the little souls that didn’t make it into your arms. Hugs.

13 halloweenlover November 22, 2006 at 7:04 pm

I’m so very very sorry. My heart aches for you.

14 halloweenlover November 22, 2006 at 7:04 pm

I’m so very very sorry. My heart aches for you.

15 yvonne November 22, 2006 at 7:48 pm

Dani – I just have come to your blog for the first time in a few very busy days. I am so sorry. I know that there is nothing I can say to take the pain away and many things I can say that will marginalize your pain. All I have to say is that I am truly sorry and it hurts me to see you hurt.

16 yvonne November 22, 2006 at 7:48 pm

Dani – I just have come to your blog for the first time in a few very busy days. I am so sorry. I know that there is nothing I can say to take the pain away and many things I can say that will marginalize your pain. All I have to say is that I am truly sorry and it hurts me to see you hurt.

17 Renee November 22, 2006 at 7:51 pm

Oh Dani, I’m so very sorry. I’ve been behind on my blog-reading and this took me by surprise. I’ll keep you and your family in my thoughts and prayers.

18 Renee November 22, 2006 at 7:51 pm

Oh Dani, I’m so very sorry. I’ve been behind on my blog-reading and this took me by surprise. I’ll keep you and your family in my thoughts and prayers.

19 LauraJ November 22, 2006 at 10:50 pm

I’m very sorry. I understand your pain going through 2 m/c in my life. Big healing hugs and vibes coming your way.

20 LauraJ November 22, 2006 at 10:50 pm

I’m very sorry. I understand your pain going through 2 m/c in my life. Big healing hugs and vibes coming your way.

21 Bunmaster L November 23, 2006 at 2:16 am

I’m just catching up as well & I cannot believe this has happened. I am so sorry for your loss Dani. So very sorry.

22 Bunmaster L November 23, 2006 at 2:16 am

I’m just catching up as well & I cannot believe this has happened. I am so sorry for your loss Dani. So very sorry.

23 nicola November 23, 2006 at 9:06 am

So Sorry Dani
I have lost 2 babies this way myself in the last year, death diagnosed at scans ( 13 weeks +20 weeks ) It is heartbreaking, and 3 weeks on from losing my baby girl at 20 weeks I still cry often.
You have my deepest sympathy for your loss. Your little angel will be playing with mine in heaven and watching over your familya nd your precious boys.
Nicola.

24 nicola November 23, 2006 at 9:06 am

So Sorry Dani
I have lost 2 babies this way myself in the last year, death diagnosed at scans ( 13 weeks +20 weeks ) It is heartbreaking, and 3 weeks on from losing my baby girl at 20 weeks I still cry often.
You have my deepest sympathy for your loss. Your little angel will be playing with mine in heaven and watching over your familya nd your precious boys.
Nicola.

25 DaniGirl November 23, 2006 at 12:39 pm

Nicola… I’m so sorry for your losses. I simply can’t imagine going through all that twice in the same year, let alone the same lifetime. I wish you comfort and courage and peace. Thank you for taking the time to reach out.

26 DaniGirl November 23, 2006 at 12:39 pm

Nicola… I’m so sorry for your losses. I simply can’t imagine going through all that twice in the same year, let alone the same lifetime. I wish you comfort and courage and peace. Thank you for taking the time to reach out.

27 ella November 24, 2006 at 3:56 pm

Dani, I’m so sorry for your loss.

28 ella November 24, 2006 at 3:56 pm

Dani, I’m so sorry for your loss.

29 Kris November 24, 2006 at 5:07 pm

Oh Dani. I am so, so sorry.

30 Kris November 24, 2006 at 5:07 pm

Oh Dani. I am so, so sorry.

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