When we moved into our house, three years this June, one of the things I was most excited about was having a patch of lawn to tend. I come from people who grow thick, lush carpets of grass and have many happy memories of playing on said green carpets.
The back lawn, despite three years of dog business and a 12′ diameter dirt circle where the pool sits for three months of the year, is in surprisingly good shape. It’s a little patchy in places, and the weeds are creeping in, but I’m altogether satisfied with it.
The front lawn is my nemesis.
When we moved in, the front yard was perfect. By the end of that summer, it was dry and had small dirt patches throughout, which I attributed to neglectful watering. The following spring, I carefully seeded it and hired a lawn care company to do some organic fertilizing and weed control. (That was the summer Simon was a newborn and I knew I wouldn’t have time to properly take care of the lawn.)
The lawncare company thought we might have grubs, and we discussed options – either chemical or organic. I chose organic – at twice the cost, mind you – but they never got around to doing the treatment. And they weren’t so great with the weeding bit either. They’d spray the occasional dandilion with some vinegar solution and that was it. I figured at least they’d try to pull them, but I spent most of the summer doing that myself and wondering what exactly I had paid them for.
That September I seeded, and seeded again in April of last year. I spent last summer seeding, fertilizing, watering, and managed to coax a lovely crop of weeds to grow, because at least the weeds were green and covered the dirt.
This year, the whole front lawn is one big dirt patch, nary a blade of grass to be seen. When you rake the dirt, you can see the nasty little grubs. Ugh! Grubs freak. me. out. (Why? Blog for another day.) The robins are thrilled, and in fact the ground looks like it’s been aerated, there are so many beak-holes in the dirt.
So after three years of dismal success, I have capitulated. I’m sick of spending the time and the money and having nothing to show for it. I’m going to resod the whole sodding thing, and I’m going to hire a new lawn-care company. (whispers) And I’m going to let them use pesticides.
(cringe of shame)
I know. I am completely opposed to the use of pesticides in cosmetic lawn care. I am deeply offended by it. I walk past lawns that are acres and acres of uniform emerald blades and feel deep regret that the earth is being poisoned – that we are poisoned – simply so this lawn can be weedless and perfect. A few years ago, I successfully lobbied the condominum corporation of our last house to stop using Par III on the common grounds, and signed a petition to get our city to stop using cosmetic pesticides on city property. I’m mortified at the idea of having one of those little paper flags (‘an evil person who doesn’t care about your children and your pets and the future of the planet lives here’) marking me as a neighbourhood scourge – but I don’t know what else to do.
I’ve been worn down by my three year battle with the front lawn. I’ve tried, really I have. I gave it my best shot, hundreds of dollars and countless hours. It doesn’t have to be a Stepford lawn, perfect and uniform – but the curb-to-driveway dirt farm is just depressing. Not to mention messy – the boys are thrilled to have so much black dirt so easily accessible each time you step out the front door, I assure you, but I’m a little tired of cleaning it out of the carpet. And the car. And their clothes. And the dog.
Oh, the guilt. I promise, I’ll just do it this one year, to get us back on track with a healthy, normal lawn. We’ll just get rid of those creepy, grubby creatures, and I’ll spend the rest of my life pulling dandilions by hand… as long as I can kneel in the grass to do it.
Don’t hate me.
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{ 40 comments… read them below or add one }
I don’t hate you–promise!
Have you thought about alternative ground covers? You can use plants besides grass that are attractive, not weeds, and more resistant to bugs etc. so they don’t require as much maintenance. A lot of people don’t feel the same way about them as they do about our old friend kentucky bluegrass, but it might be worth looking into.
I don’t hate you–promise!
Have you thought about alternative ground covers? You can use plants besides grass that are attractive, not weeds, and more resistant to bugs etc. so they don’t require as much maintenance. A lot of people don’t feel the same way about them as they do about our old friend kentucky bluegrass, but it might be worth looking into.
Um, that’s what I thought the weeds were – alternative ground cover? Hell, I’ll take any ground cover that doesn’t turn into muck when it rains.
Seriously, though, I have considered it, but it’s a fairly high traffic area and I don’t think those types of cover can take the beating of everyday play… can they?
Um, that’s what I thought the weeds were – alternative ground cover? Hell, I’ll take any ground cover that doesn’t turn into muck when it rains.
Seriously, though, I have considered it, but it’s a fairly high traffic area and I don’t think those types of cover can take the beating of everyday play… can they?
Yesterday you posted about God, today a confession. Am I seeing a theme?
Deans aren’t priests, but what the hell. Read your kids some stories as penance.
Grubs and dirt are just a little too much for me, too. This year, our lawn looks like that dirt trail the Tasmanian Devil used to make in the Looney Tunes cartoons. Don’t know why. I’ll probably join you in ChemLawn Hell, with only minor regrets. Leaving it alone makes the place look a little too West Virginia for my taste.
Yesterday you posted about God, today a confession. Am I seeing a theme?
Deans aren’t priests, but what the hell. Read your kids some stories as penance.
Grubs and dirt are just a little too much for me, too. This year, our lawn looks like that dirt trail the Tasmanian Devil used to make in the Looney Tunes cartoons. Don’t know why. I’ll probably join you in ChemLawn Hell, with only minor regrets. Leaving it alone makes the place look a little too West Virginia for my taste.
Oh Dani!! I feel your pain!! B and I have been battling grubs for the past three years. Take it from us, the only way to get rid of them is through hard-core pesticides. This advice comes from a family who drives a bio-diesel vehicle, okay. If we could use soapy water we would. Doesn’t work. And in the end, the green lawn is better for the environment in the long run.. or at least that’s what I tell myself.
Oh Dani!! I feel your pain!! B and I have been battling grubs for the past three years. Take it from us, the only way to get rid of them is through hard-core pesticides. This advice comes from a family who drives a bio-diesel vehicle, okay. If we could use soapy water we would. Doesn’t work. And in the end, the green lawn is better for the environment in the long run.. or at least that’s what I tell myself.
Try nemotodes (sp?) for the grubs. They’re available at garden centres only at the time of year when grubs are feeding (June or July, I think?). They’re little microbial beings that eat the grubs and are are organic. Seriously, if I didn’t have to actually kill the grass on our property first, I would go the “alternative groundcover” route. Apparently some of them are traffic friendly (maybe not as friendly as grass, but then chemical coated grass isn’t really friendly, is it?), and some even have wee flowers on them at certain times of the year.
Good luck.
Try nemotodes (sp?) for the grubs. They’re available at garden centres only at the time of year when grubs are feeding (June or July, I think?). They’re little microbial beings that eat the grubs and are are organic. Seriously, if I didn’t have to actually kill the grass on our property first, I would go the “alternative groundcover” route. Apparently some of them are traffic friendly (maybe not as friendly as grass, but then chemical coated grass isn’t really friendly, is it?), and some even have wee flowers on them at certain times of the year.
Good luck.
Oh Dani! No, Dani! Noooooooo!
Oh Dani! No, Dani! Noooooooo!
Dani
I won’t hate you I have a hard time to keep my grass looking good.( I live in sand) I’m one of those nuts who loves to cut the grass.
I like what Beanie Baby said. Plant some prennials use that patcha s a huge floer bed that you don’t have to work at too much. If you plant the right stuff it can take a beating. Although don’t plant anything creeping cause it willt ake over your neighbours too.
Good luck!
Dani
I won’t hate you I have a hard time to keep my grass looking good.( I live in sand) I’m one of those nuts who loves to cut the grass.
I like what Beanie Baby said. Plant some prennials use that patcha s a huge floer bed that you don’t have to work at too much. If you plant the right stuff it can take a beating. Although don’t plant anything creeping cause it willt ake over your neighbours too.
Good luck!
I am with you, my sista. Dirt is depressing. I need GREEN to cheer me up. Bring on the pesticides! I’m sorry, I really do need to be more environmentally aware . .
I am with you, my sista. Dirt is depressing. I need GREEN to cheer me up. Bring on the pesticides! I’m sorry, I really do need to be more environmentally aware . .
I have some leftover used carpet…it’s beige, but you are welcome to it. Oh, I also have a green bathroom rug I am willing to throw in.
tee hee.
I have some leftover used carpet…it’s beige, but you are welcome to it. Oh, I also have a green bathroom rug I am willing to throw in.
tee hee.
I am only feeling a little bit very smug about urban front yards right now.
I am only feeling a little bit very smug about urban front yards right now.
Have you thought about seeding the area with corn or potatoes. It’s both green AND functional. Your neighbours will hate…until you invite them over for a fall supper.
Have you thought about seeding the area with corn or potatoes. It’s both green AND functional. Your neighbours will hate…until you invite them over for a fall supper.
Hey–when the grubs rolled through our neighborhood four or five years ago, our front lawn disappeared. We replaced it with a full front yard perrenial garden. It’s not a wonderfully planned and designed but it’s easy to take care of (close planting = little or no weeding) and cheerful. Less of a chore than even your most basic lawn.
Hey–when the grubs rolled through our neighborhood four or five years ago, our front lawn disappeared. We replaced it with a full front yard perrenial garden. It’s not a wonderfully planned and designed but it’s easy to take care of (close planting = little or no weeding) and cheerful. Less of a chore than even your most basic lawn.
Last house we had, we could never get our front lawn to stay green, no matter how much we watered. Then we found out the previous owners had put sod RIGHT ON TOP OF a xeroscaped yard. Brutal.
Last house we had, we could never get our front lawn to stay green, no matter how much we watered. Then we found out the previous owners had put sod RIGHT ON TOP OF a xeroscaped yard. Brutal.
Dean Dad, I’ll take my absolution whereever I can get it!
Batman, you made me laugh out loud at the image of my little yard full of corn stalks. Sadly, I don’t even know what a potato crop would look like – but I’m intrigued!
Nancy, about that carpet – I saw a bit in the paper about the “new astroturf” – and am seriously thinking about it!! Just hose the crap onto the neighbours’ lawn – that works!
Oh the guilt – I was just on yet another organic lawn care company’s site, and they’re coming over to render a free quote. They’re located on “Tristan Court”. Karma? Speaking of karma, is it bad luck that I just got distracted in reading all your responses and ate the fortune along with my fortune cookie??
Dean Dad, I’ll take my absolution whereever I can get it!
Batman, you made me laugh out loud at the image of my little yard full of corn stalks. Sadly, I don’t even know what a potato crop would look like – but I’m intrigued!
Nancy, about that carpet – I saw a bit in the paper about the “new astroturf” – and am seriously thinking about it!! Just hose the crap onto the neighbours’ lawn – that works!
Oh the guilt – I was just on yet another organic lawn care company’s site, and they’re coming over to render a free quote. They’re located on “Tristan Court”. Karma? Speaking of karma, is it bad luck that I just got distracted in reading all your responses and ate the fortune along with my fortune cookie??
We gots teh grubs, we gots teh dirt, we gots teh West Virginia look going on in spades. When I complained about it at my place, people suggested rye grass and Zoysia grass plugs.
Not that we’re doing anything about it, of course. We’ll just wait until the neighbors start complaining and then paint the front lawn patch green…
We gots teh grubs, we gots teh dirt, we gots teh West Virginia look going on in spades. When I complained about it at my place, people suggested rye grass and Zoysia grass plugs.
Not that we’re doing anything about it, of course. We’ll just wait until the neighbors start complaining and then paint the front lawn patch green…
Go get ‘em …seriously…in our neighbourhood people judge you based on your lawn…it’s a competition all the time. If you have to use the pesticides just this once…I support you!!! Frankly you should be rewarded for your efforts to date!
Go get ‘em …seriously…in our neighbourhood people judge you based on your lawn…it’s a competition all the time. If you have to use the pesticides just this once…I support you!!! Frankly you should be rewarded for your efforts to date!
Our lawn looks like crap after a mild winter and dogs running rough over it.
I think we have grubs too, but I’m going to get the nemotodes to to go work at it, because not only are they better for them, they’re apparently lots more effective. Hope the new ompay gives you a good quote and the fortune cookie doesn’t cause any problems.
Our lawn looks like crap after a mild winter and dogs running rough over it.
I think we have grubs too, but I’m going to get the nemotodes to to go work at it, because not only are they better for them, they’re apparently lots more effective. Hope the new ompay gives you a good quote and the fortune cookie doesn’t cause any problems.
Don’t do it Dani!! Especially if your lawn is now dirt, you can kill them and resod, no chemicals needed
. You Can Do It!!!!
Don’t do it Dani!! Especially if your lawn is now dirt, you can kill them and resod, no chemicals needed
. You Can Do It!!!!
pesticides, no! don’t do it!
the thing about gardening that’s very humbling is that you can’t force plants to grow where they don’t want to.
Dig. Deep. Put some nice earth and compost and then resod or build a lovely flower bed with a path meandering through.
pesticides, no! don’t do it!
the thing about gardening that’s very humbling is that you can’t force plants to grow where they don’t want to.
Dig. Deep. Put some nice earth and compost and then resod or build a lovely flower bed with a path meandering through.
Hey Dani. I feel your pain. Only excessive watering (in the wee morning hours so we could use as little water as possible) seems to keep grub at bay here.
When we first moved here we had a pesticide company come so that we could get a manageable start at things. It was the summer _before_ they banned pesticides in these parts. And still we had a neighbour fink on us which resulted in a nasty letter from the by-law inforcing department. All hands and knees, all the time ’round these parts now.
The irony of it all, is that the golf course a few blocks away is exempt. So we get the pesticide cloud from them anyway. Feh.
Hey Dani. I feel your pain. Only excessive watering (in the wee morning hours so we could use as little water as possible) seems to keep grub at bay here.
When we first moved here we had a pesticide company come so that we could get a manageable start at things. It was the summer _before_ they banned pesticides in these parts. And still we had a neighbour fink on us which resulted in a nasty letter from the by-law inforcing department. All hands and knees, all the time ’round these parts now.
The irony of it all, is that the golf course a few blocks away is exempt. So we get the pesticide cloud from them anyway. Feh.