It’s been maybe eight or ten months since I stopped nursing Simon. And just now I’m getting around to retiring my maternity bras. (Boys beware, there be girl talk ahead.)
For those of you who haven’t had the pleasure, let me tell you about nursing bras. They are stretchy, they are soft, they are as comfy as your favourite jammies. And, after two years of use and abuse, there’s about as much elastic left in them as there is integrity in election advertising.
Maternity bras are not about giving you a better silhouette, they are not about making the melons look firm and ripe. They are about giving a squalling baby easy access to his lunch while still providing enough support that you can run down the stairs without poking your own eye out. (And, if you are less than a D cup, no offense, but I’m not talking to you right now. I’ve always wanted to be able to wear one of those adorable little camisole tops in lieu of a bra, or one of those cute cotton numbers with the matching panties. That’s not a bra, that’s a toy. I’m talking about industrial strength bras here, bras with a real job to do.)
So the comfort factor is a large part of the reason why I’m still wearing maternity bras almost a year after I finished nursing. (After having two babies in two years, my pre-maternity bras are no longer an option. If you’ve been there, you know what I mean.) Another major factor is sheer laziness my busy and fulfilling daily schedule. But the real reason is, I hate bra shopping with a white-hot burning passion.
I’ve always hated bra shopping. No matter what kind of mood you are in when you start bra shopping, you will leave the experience feeling bulgy, saggy and demoralized. Bra shopping undermines self-esteem like the worst kind of ex-boyfriend. You can take 50 bras into the changeroom and none of them will fit. Some fit okay over the ribs but pucker under the arms. Some give you torpedo boobs. (Ah, the google traffic that phrase will bring.) Some give you muffin-top bulges over the cup. Some dig into your side and grate on you like your mother-in-law’s voice. Some cut into your shoulder so deeply you can see bone under the grooves. There is no perfect bra, there is only good enough.
All of which makes it nothing short of a miracle that I found myself in the unmentionables section of a department store the other day on my lunch hour, having been drawn in by a plethora of red “40% off” signs. Having only the vaguest idea what size I might actually be but caught up in the moment, I started grabbing boxes willy-nilly. I grabbed some with underwire; I grabbed some with lycra; I grabbed some that were white and I grabbed some in radiant jewel tones. I must have tried on a dozen bras and you know what? I found two that I loved. Not just liked – I heart these bras.
Who would have guessed that it was possible to have a bra that is comfortable AND provides support? I stood in the fitting room looking at myself in the mirror, thinking ‘Oh, they’re supposed to be way up there?’ Who knew that even after two babies, your nipples don’t have to hang out with your navel?
You know what the best part is? When your ta-tas aren’t sagging down to your waistline, even a striped turtleneck looks pretty good!
I hear you girl! I hate Bra’s and I’m not a d cup…I was a DD when I was nursing now I’m back to saggin C. I hate the fact that the make bras for women whoe don’t sag. Thye are cute and pretty and fit oh so nice. BUT To get that at a LARGER saggy size you have to pay huge amount of money for them that only you and the people in your house willonly ever see. I guess you can tell I have a thing for against these medeviel torture devices. I have yet to find one that makes ME look good. Now my 15 yr old daught has truble finding somet hat fit…but honestly she doesn’t need one, but she can’t find any that fit her petit A frame. OH to have that trouble.
So what brands did ya get? email me dear.
I still have two nursing bras from my second to last kid, whi is five! I love to wear them when I am cleaning. They can get bleach or what not on them and I dont have to worry. The ones wholes might soon make it that I CANT wear it but I will till then!
Hmmm first you have an invite for all the lurkers to “drop me a note and say hello.”, then you follow it up with the girly-booby-bra post.
This should generate some interesting comments, not to mention the google hits.
And uhhmmm I have nothing to add to the bra discussion, but I will remember to compliment your new look the next time we get together; or maybe not.
Hey, you, I realized that I don’t own a bra I even like…..certainly not love. I would love to see those girls up high and perky and I am pretty small busted but I tell you…..I won’t be hitting the dept store out of sheer embarrassement.
I feel your pain! I’m a 36DD, and I have one bra that I LOVE LOVE LOVE, and I’m sad every time I take it off because that means that now I have to wear the inferior ones until my good one is clean again. Ugh.
I SO need new bras. I’m thinking they’d make me a whole new woman. What am I waiting for?
I too always hated shopping for bras. Because it seems like most of them are designed for women who don’t have breasts! But then I read Bitch PhD’s blog post about how to buy a bra, and I started buying Wacoal bras online. That’s right. I don’t even have to go to the store. The Wacoal bras are expensive but once you know your size, you can just order them online. They are comfy and pretty, especially if you are a D cup or larger.
Seriously, if you haven’t read Bitch PhD’s bra post, you should go over to her blog and read it …. I think she has it listed on her side bar.
LMFAO!! This is one of your bestest posts ever! I also wore (out) my nursing bras long after bf-ing was done (loooong after). I have a couple of types of bras that I ‘like’ but I have never really had one that I LOVED. The ones I have now are close…oh, so close.
Your writing is brilliant, absolutely brilliant.
Danigirl, when I stop nursing, I am going to drive up to Ottawa and make you repeat this story over and over again to cheer me on during the dreaded Buying of the New Bras.
Either that, or I’ll go on wearing the nursing bras until my nipples hit my knees.
As I was reading, all I could think of was why aren’t you visiting “La Senza” or “La Vie en Rose”? The girls that work there are usually pretty awesome at measuring you for a bra and won’t even try to steer you towards ones that won’t flatter your size or shape. I love my bras, all of which are “La Senza” at the moment, but I have loved some from “La Vie..” and “Victoria’s Secret” in the past. I didn’t even wait until “J” had finished nursing to get back into mine.
Wishing you all the best with your new bras and hopefully you will have a chance to stop in a get fit for a bra, it changes your whole bra wearing experience.
Anna – sorry for the long comment
Woo Hoo! Finally retired those nursing bras AND a succesful bra shopping experience, now that’s worth a celebration Dani!
I’ve already given you my rendition of one of my own bra shopping excursion as a comment to your previous bra post and not only was it unsuccessful but also a major blow to my self esteem 🙁 Since then, I’ve actually entered one of those stores Anna mentioned, which in itself was a big step for me and actually came out with a fairly good purchase.
Now for really cool looking bras ask our resident expert, our mutual friend from up north ;0
The most ironic thing about a bra you love/like is that when you go to the store to buy an identical one, the tag with the information (size, model, etc.) is faded and you have to start all over searching for the “perfect”one.
I find it encouraging that all women feel the same way about buying bras- we all seem to wait until the old ones are practically rotted away, and yet when we were teenagers, we couldn’t wait to start wearing them. Why do you think that is such a universal sentiment?
You know what’s even more fun – being a guy and shopping for ‘initmates’ for your wife…its a laugh. I bought some at Christmas, and what an adventure. First, the salesladies attacked at the front of the store like I had crossed into a high security zone which required a mandatory escort at all times…no casual browsing allowed. Then they couldn’t believe I knew her size. Are you sure?? How do you know?? Like this was some female secret code I had broken. I think the final straw was the following exchange:
Helpful, but Patronizing, Intimates Saleslady: “Well, what does she like?”
Me: “Doesn’t matter. I know what I want to see her in, and isn’t that what counts?”
I was soon left to my own devices (although I am pretty sure I was being followed covertly), and I can say that both my wife and I are very happy with the results….
Hey, with you on that. I’m still in sports and nursing bras because I haven’t been shopping. Tried to buy some-failed-will eventually try again.
I’m glad Jo(e) said what I was going to.
And if there’s a Nordstrom’s near any of you, go and get measured by one of their nice yenta ladies. And then buy yourself 3 Wacoals.
I keep the size and style of my bras in my Palm Pilot. That way it’s always with me if I’m out shopping.
If you’ve gained or lost any weight recently, get re-fitted.
Wow, glad a I scrolled back and read this one! What a great post Dani. As a former A cupper (I actually once owned a bathing suit called “A’s OK”), who is currently residing in a D cup nursing bra I applaud you on your accuracy, not to mention your usual wit.
Although at this point, my only dream is for the night to come when I can…sigh, go to bed braless again. I have lofty goals don’t I?
Thanks for the great read to start my day :~)
It makes me laugh that the posts that get the most comments are always about bras and other unmentionables!
jo(e) and Liz, I went looking for the wacoal post on bitch PhD, but couldn’t find it at first. I’ll go back and take a better look when I have more time. Thanks for the tip, although I am wary of ordering things online because of the additional expense of currency conversion and duties. Free trade my ass.
Phantom, for that exact reason you should *SO* get your saggy self up here for a shopping trip! There’s even a chichi bra shop right around the corner from my office that I would never shop in, but with the currency conversion you could probably make out like a bandit.
Anna, I’ve been to those stores and come away unhappy. The bras are either pretty (and too small) or horrendous (and fit). I gave up on them a while ago.
Twinmom, was thinking of your story when I wrote this! BTW, I LOVE seeing that highlighted blue link beside your name now!!
Ingrid/Liz – yes, the faded tag thing. Yes, yes, yes. I love the Palm solution! I went low-tech this time and clipped off the tags of the new bras and tucked them into my jewellery box. Could someone please remind me in 6 months to look in my jewellery box when I am rummaging around asking myself where the holy hell I stashed the tags?
Fryman – Beloved didn’t trust his taste enough to buy me a hoodie this Christmas, so part of me admires you for shopping for your wife’s undergarments. But was that a Christmas present for her or for YOU?? Never mind, I don’t want to know…
*snicker*
I too have lived in nursing bras for the past 2 years…almost exactly. Oldest son will be 2 next week. Ack… But anyway.
Its funny ‘cuz hubby bought me a $100 La Senza gift card last year for Christmas (I knew I was pregnant again…he didn’t) and since there was no point in getting new bras yet, I ended up using most of it for jammie pants. And he bought me another one this year. Do you think that’s a hint?? I just am not a fan of La Senza bras. They all seem to have that molded padding that produces the triangular torpedo boob look and makes small busted women like myself look absolutely ridiculous. I wish they still sold their water bra…that thing was a miracle but I outgrew mine. 🙁 Still have the gel bags that came with it tho, so if I ever find a stuffable bra that I like, I’m using the bags.
And I’m one of “those”…I was an A cup pre first pregnancy and am hoping to stay a B post bfing. Sorry… 😉
I feel the need to comment, to keep that comment # rising and to tell you my bra story.
I am a “AA” to “A” size and even though it seems that I have been nursing for the last three years and own about a dozen nursing bras I also have a problem finding a bra that fits. (BTW – I might never stop nursing if it means I get to be a full A cup!) I find the bras in La Senza are not geared towards moi or people like moi. Once when I was shopping there I complained to the sales lady about why they don’t sell/make bras to fit smaller chested ladies. She kindly suggested that I try La Senza Girl. Well, desperate is desperate and you know what they have the exact same bras in smaller sizes and they are cheaper!! So I did buy a couple of teen-age girl bras and liked them (with the exception of the La Senza Girl tag). Now, with three kids in tow, I’m not sure if I’d go shopping there…it’s just too embarrassing!
Donna
Do not delay…Go out and buy every one you can find, in ever color. And then stash some of them away becasue when the two you bought wear out, you’ll never, ever be able to find them again. Don’t know why that is, but it’s true.
La la la (sticks fingers in ears), I can’t hear you people with your demi-tasse cups. (Truth be told, I’m laughing my ass off!)
Suzanne, you’re right! The supply was pretty thin given the 40% off sale, but it might be worth going back and building stashing away a few at full price just to save me the agonizing later.