Potty talk

by DaniGirl on July 20, 2005 · 15 comments

in Uncategorized

I’ve given up. I’ve resigned myself to the fact that Tristan will never in fact be potty trained. We will just have to contact Pampers and special order diapers in sizes 7 through 15, which should transition him into the adult-sized Depends. Hopefully, he will pair off with an understanding young woman who can take over his diaper changing from me when they get married, and they will live happily ever after. Because the potty training thing is not working out for us.

He’s almost three and a half. I have been fastidiously not pushing him, not making a big deal about it. I’ve even blogged about my resolve not to make an issue out of this. And we’ve done such a good job of making a non-issue out of potty training that it never going to happen.

It’s not that he doesn’t get the concept. He’s p’d in the potty on numerous occassions. (Note: I am using euphemisms not out of any sense of decorum, but simply because I don’t want that kind of Google traffic.) He’s done the other business on the potty a few times. He’s even been in the bathtub and told me he has to p and held it while I dried him off a bit and set him on the throne, so he understands the bio-mechanics just fine.

Yes, he uses the big people toilet. The boy is over 40 lbs and somewhere around 44 inches tall. He’s the size of a five year old. I think he outgrew the plastic potty a couple of years ago. We’re just barely able to strap a size 6 Pampers on him, and I have no idea what we’ll do if he grows anymore.

He’s just not interested. I even (gasp!) resorted to bribes. For a while, Smarties were doing the trick for us, but lately he’s gone a little blasΓ© on the whole bribe thing.

Me (brightly): Hey Tristan! Wanna go p in the potty?
Tristan: No thanks.

Me (enthusiastically): Are you sure? You can have a Smartie if you p in the potty.
Tristan: No thanks.

Me (exhuberantly): And you can have THREE Smarties if you poop in the potty!
Tristan (considering): Smarties? Um, no thanks.

Me (deflating): You don’t want any Smarties? What about jelly beans? Mmmm, jelly beans!
Tristan (distancing): No thanks.

Me (desperately): Okay, well what do you want? Chips? Popcorn? A pony? A Camaro? What will it take, boy? What do you want from me? OH FOR THE LOVE OF GOD, JUST P IN THE POTTY WILL YOU!!!!
Tristan: No thanks.

And so it goes. I have resigned myself to the fact that he may never, in fact, be potty trained. Because I managed to housebreak the dog, I still hold out hope that I’ll have some future success with his brother. But for now, I’ll be off to write a note to Pampers, pleading for some supersized free samples.

And you can bet the cost of those diapers will be coming out of his college fund.


{ 15 comments… read them below or add one }

1 yvonne robinson July 20, 2005 at 1:24 pm

have you tried the peeing (all hail to lord google) on cheerios? Not you… Tristan. Sometimes boys will find it funny to have the ability to aim and fire.
Another thought – get the boys together this weekend and schedule some “double pee-er” time. And you can clean up the bathroom afterwards. πŸ™‚
3.5 is certainly old enough to try potty training but, you have the right approach. This will not work until HE decides he’s ready. Not you…

2 Robin July 20, 2005 at 1:38 pm

I have to say my first thought was just how polite T. is “no thanks” got love a boy with manners. πŸ™‚
When I decide it was time to start the whole potty training thing (as much as we can train a human to do anything. Espcially boys) I had a start and end date in mind. I would give Grant from Jan. till June. And if he did not get it by June then I was going back to diapers. I had no major reason to push the issue so I let hime do it all on his own.
He was doing great and p’d on the potty like a champ. But, poop was another story. He would not do it and would cry when I even asked him. Well, that all changed when saw that “light saver” at a friends house. He said he wanted one and I said I wanted him to poop on the potty. So at the end of May my son sarted and we have had success. And he got his “light saver”.
So I say find something he wants and use it. Otherwise just wait… He will get it and I promise he will not go to jk in diapers. πŸ˜‰

3 AnnaJ July 20, 2005 at 1:41 pm

Not quite there yet, but am interested to see what everyone else has to say as we are definately working on the potty thing πŸ™‚
Anna

4 UberGeek July 20, 2005 at 1:45 pm

Well it will be messy and a big pain… But you might try heading to walmart and buiy the biggest, cheapest bag of boy underwear you can find, and move him into the underwear.
He will have some accidents, they will be messy and icky*(hence the big bg of low cost underwear, just throw them out), but maybe the pride of wearing big boy underwear might help.
That or the icky feeling in his shorts when he does make a mistake. Sometimes diapers are too good.

5 Suzanne July 20, 2005 at 2:14 pm

Were Tristan and Sean separated at birth? This is EXACTLY my experience with Sean, down to the conversation ending with a firm “No, thanks.” I am desperate — preschool starts in September, and I can’t even get him potty trained for just the morning, which I had thought was a reasonable goal.

6 mgood July 20, 2005 at 3:00 pm

Wait – let me get this – Josephine won’t just wake up one day and decide to go on the potty?
(rethinking this whole having a kid deal)

7 Dean Dad July 20, 2005 at 3:11 pm

I thought The Boy was the only one!
Pull-Ups help. They’re bigger than Pampers, they’re easier to pull up and down (hence the name), and they sorta kinda resemble big-boy underwear.
We transitioned him a few months ago to big-boy underwear during the day (still use Pull-Ups at night), with middling success. It works well with the Little Fireman, since he doesn’t like the wet feel, but the other way is, well, let’s say hit-and-miss.
On the bright side, I’ve never been to a wedding where the groom needed to be changed. He’ll pick it up, eventually. That’s what I keep telling myself, anyway…

8 suze July 20, 2005 at 3:15 pm

as my mother-in-law keeps assuring her next door neighbour: “no kid has started highschool in diapers.” so finding that understanding woman for tristan is probably not going to be an issue πŸ˜‰ however, not having kidlets yet and not remembering my own potty training as a wee one, i have no words of assvice to give. just a hearty “good luck” and a quick run to the corner to rethink that whole “i want to have kids” thing πŸ˜‰

9 Phantom Scribbler July 20, 2005 at 4:14 pm

No advice here. Mine just passed his fourth birthday without consenting to use the potty. My only advantage is that he’s very small, and won’t need to switch to abnormally large diapers until at least fourth grade…

10 Running2Ks July 20, 2005 at 5:55 pm

My mom said babies in diapers can’t go on trains, so I potty trained that day. She tells me I should tell the little one she can have earrings like her sister if she uses the potty. I’m still holding out–2 1/2 isn’t late for us–not by a long shot. But apparently the bribes have to be better than food.

11 alliemom July 20, 2005 at 6:17 pm

Try not to despair, Dani. My friend’s daughter was 3 and 1/2 before she even showed an interest in toilet training. Took a few weeks and a few accidents but she finally ‘got’ it. We didn’t have problems with p here but poop was a whole other issue!! She would hold it for days and then would only go in a pull-up for the longest time. We were referred to a pediatric gastroenterologist(phew!) who recommended a sticker reward system. We purchased a calendar and every time she pooped she got to put stickers on her calendar.He wasn’t concerned that at age 3 she was still using a pull-up. He was more concerned about the holding it in for days! Eventually, we switched to a reward system of a nickel in her brand new piggy bank every time she pooped on the toilet. Surprisingly, it worked!!!
Hang in there! He’ll get it eventually!!

12 Jen July 20, 2005 at 6:39 pm

Best of luck. If it makes you feel any better, I once knew a category manager at a company that makes diaper who told me his lifelong dream was to see everyone in diapers so maybe T is just on the leading edge!
Oh, and you’ve been tagged.
http://tomama.blogs.com/mubar/2005/07/its_all_about_m.html

13 Snack Mommy July 20, 2005 at 10:10 pm

All kids respond to different motivators. Mine is pretty goal oriented. His goal wasn’t to poop in the potty but to get the shiny new Thomas Car Wash Set I bought him. I let him see it, press the button once, but it didn’t come out of the box until he pooped. For us, it worked, but I know other kids who wouldn’t give a hoot…or a poop :~)
Snack Mommy

14 Andrea July 21, 2005 at 12:37 pm

I can see myself here in a few years. *sigh*

15 The Wife July 21, 2005 at 6:18 pm

Hang in there! He’ll do it!
Here’s what we did with The Boy (yes, I am The Wife of Dean Dad) –
He was 3 1/2 and still pooping in his pants. I would go from nursing The Girl to wiping The Boy. Ugh.
Finally told him that Santa likes it when boys use the potty, and that it might be worth it to keep Santa happy. That was all he needed. Suddenly, he was using the potty. After each trip we’d call “Santa” (usually Grandma or Grandpa faking a deep voice) and tell him all about it.
There have been a few accidents since, but I was amazed that was all it took.
I enjoy your blog. Dean Dad is always telling my what you’re up to!

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