When moms attack

by DaniGirl on February 25, 2005 · 15 comments

in Uncategorized

The topic of the day on the blogosphere seems to be moms attacking other moms. Probably, it’s a result of that whole Mommy Madness thing in Newsweek (Newsweek makes you pay for articles and I am cheap, so I refer you instead to the very good review of the article in question at Half Changed World) Personally, I suspect the demise of hockey has somehow caused a massive leak of testosterone into the Internet and that is at least partially to blame.

We’ve got a long incredibly funny (as always) examination of mothers criticising mothers over at Chez Miscarriage (go read her post right now – it should be required reading for anybody who is a parent, wants to be a parent or knows a parent. Really, go now, I’ll wait here until you get back. You’ll thank me later.) At Finslippy there is more required reading for not just the parenting manual, but the how to be a nice human manual. Since I have a full coffee and it’s Friday, I’ll even be patient enough to wait while you wander over there and read that post, too, as long as you promise to come right back.

It’s not just blogs. Before I discovered blogging (there was a before blogging?) I used to spend my spare time hanging around the parenting after IVF message boards at IVF Connections. Even among a group of women who had been through a lot together, in a cyber-y kind of way, it never failed to amaze me how quickly they would turn on each other when topics strayed to personal debates like circumcise or no, breast versus bottle, WOHM versus SAHM, and the one that really blew me away, to crockpot or not. I wish I were kidding.

To mitigate all this, over at Been There we have what I think should be a new national holiday — they’ve declared a Parenting Appreciation Festival. I’m packing my lawn chair and my cooler and joining the party, and I’m inviting you along for the ride. What, ya got something better to do? C’mon, join the fun – just take a minute to say one nice thing to a parent today. If you’re feeling particularly magnanimous, DO something nice for a parent today.

Conveniently, today is also my mom’s birthday, so let me tell you a tiny story about how wonderful she is: yesterday afternoon, our only car broke down and is in the shop overnight. (Another long story, don’t get me started.) But I was going to do groceries last night, and we were out of milk. Not only did my mom pick up the kids from daycare and shuttle them home, not only did she go to the store and pick up some milk to get us through, and not only did she add in a little snacky treat for the kids and for Beloved and I, but she also bought a little bag of biscuits for the DOG! How amazing is that?

Go on, go buy somebody a little baggie of karmic dog biscuits. It’ll do you good!

{ 15 comments… read them below or add one }

1 cooper February 25, 2005 at 3:39 pm

I have to say I teared up a bit with your description of your wonderful Mom. I love this post.
And thanks for spreading the good and positive karma! Happy Parent Appreciation, it seems to be catching on! Let’s hope.

2 Emily February 25, 2005 at 3:56 pm

I’m sending karmic dog biscuits around the globe in honor of your Mom, and mine!

3 UberGeek February 25, 2005 at 4:47 pm

So I would like to take a moment to comment about the source of this post (no offence to karmic doggy cookies intended. Hello Scooby snacks). A couple of things to point out first;
1) I scanned the article DG referred to over at Half Baked World quickly.
2) I am a hyper-parent.
3) I have been known to be opinionated.
“Organized sports with registration, and schedules and fees have replaced pick-up games.”
Has anyone been out and listened to the conversations occurring on playgrounds these days…. not to be the ol’ man here, but in my day there were not 12 year olds discussing pot. Nor were 7 years olds discussing sex. I am not talking about a bit of foul language and the occasion skirmish. These are things I have overheard in the passive park across the street from my house. Which is in a newly built upper-middle class suburb. Yes I want my children in organized sports where I can monitor the content and knowledge transfer occurring.
“You can’t count on the local public sch

4 UberGeek February 25, 2005 at 4:48 pm

“You can’t count on the local public school being good unless you deliberately pick a place to live based on the schools.”
Damn straight. Inner city schools, language rights, drugs in elementary schools, weapons in elementary schools, sex in elementary schools (the bracelet club). Teacher/class ratios exceeding 25:1. Shared parent/teacher education as school funding is decreased and teacher/student follows suit.
“”[It] tell us that we are the luckiest women in the world, with the most wealth, the most choices. It says we have the know-how to make “informed decisions” that will guarantee our children’s success. It tells us that if we choose badly, our children will fall prey to countless dangers—from insecure attachment to drugs to a third-rate college. And if our children do stray from the right path, we’ll have no one but ourselves to blame. To point fingers at society is to shirk “personal responsibility.””

5 UberGeek February 25, 2005 at 4:48 pm

So while this is a little extreme there is a grain of truth to this. If we as parents (specifically working parents) are not hyper-parenting, or making informed decisions with/for our children. Then who is? Are we relying on society to educate them with what is right and wrong? Extreme violence in the media television/gaming/music; CNN reporting on war during children’s primetime. I will not point my finger at society and shrug my shoulders, but at the same time, I will take personal responsibility for raising my children in this society.
I will let my kids skin their knees, I will let them get into the occasional fist fight in the school yard. I will let them sneak peeks at tattered “girlie magazines” they find in older brothers rooms. I will let them experience the pain of first romance, the anger of failed friendship.

6 UberGeek February 25, 2005 at 4:49 pm

I will not let them be participants of swarmings because they were there at the time. I will not let them go to hang at the park, with who knows what going on. I will spend my 3 hours a weeknight teaching them my morals. Expanding their minds beyond the school system. We will go to swimming lessons and hockey games, some of which I will coach. We will catch frogs, we will look stars. We will play video games together.
I will give up sleep if need be and do the best job I can to raise my kids.
(sorry for the extended rant.

7 Danigirl February 25, 2005 at 5:19 pm

Phew, do you feel better getting all that off your chest? 😉 I don’t think you’ll have a lot of arguments on your general insights, UG, but I’m not entirely convinced you read everything in the right context. I also suspect you kinda missed the point of *my* post on *my* blog today, about spreading the love (consider this my gentle reminder to play nice and not make snide comments ie half ‘baked’ world).
Moreso, though, I just have to say that in the spirit of Parent Appreciation Day, you are one of the most involved, attentive dads I know and I think you make a great roll model, even if you are prone to the occassional diatribe

8 SD Karyn February 25, 2005 at 5:46 pm

I think ubergeek needs to join the blog world! lol

9 UberGeek February 25, 2005 at 5:53 pm

“I think ubergeek needs to join the blog world! lol”
Naww way to much work, then I would have to start justifying my opinions, thinking up stuff to write about….
I much prefer to piggy-back on DGs blog and feed her my blogging opinions. Besides as we all know “blogs are the domain of alienated and lovesick 14 year old girls”. 😉 Except of course blogs that feature my opinions.

10 SD Karyn February 25, 2005 at 6:54 pm

If blogs are the domain of alienated and lovesick 14 year old girls, then how would you classify those of us who comment prolifically on them?

11 SD Karyn February 25, 2005 at 6:56 pm

ps ubergeek- you should consider taking the plunge. I have the same time issues as well but you seem to have lots of good things to say. And just think, you won’t be truncated anymore!!

12 oneofthegirlfriends February 25, 2005 at 8:09 pm

So do you have a favourite bra? You know, the model you’ve been wearing for years. Although after pregnancy (chest size goes up two) and bf-ing twins your boobs just aren’t the same (cup size goes down 🙁 ), yet completely DESPISE the idea of actually really shopping for a new bra – which includes some German salesperson with halitosis dying to get you aline in the fitting room to help you with your ‘fitting’. Then the famed 1995 model goes on sale 50% off…Are you like me and buy three of them even though they don’t feel anywhere near as comfy as they did in 1995? But at least now you are off the hook for bra shopping for three years?
Oh dear – I have too much to say, perhaps I should start my own blog.

13 Nancy February 25, 2005 at 8:10 pm

HAPPY JOYOUS Parenting Appreciation Moment…loved your commendation to your mommy, and I think I heard something similar from T & S in toddlerese.
*YOUR* blog rocks DG – LOVE IT almost as much as I LOVE YOU.

14 twinmomplusone February 26, 2005 at 5:25 am

I’ve got my lawn chair ready for the Festival and my head filled with nice things to tell you!!
Your blog definitely ROCKS and long live the Parent Appreciation Spirit!!!
peace and love

15 Danigirl February 26, 2005 at 8:07 pm

You guys are weird but wonderful! Twinmom+1, you sounds like a veteran festival-goer. Why am I not surprised? 😉
xo Danigirl

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