Public Service Announcement – Safe Kids Week

(I wrote this last week and then forgot to post it. While it’s no longer Safe Kids Week, I still think this is important information. Since I wrote it, another three year old child in the city has died by drowning in the family’s above-ground backyard pool.)

***

It’s not often I get a press release that’s worth just pasting verbatim into a post, but I thought this information from Safe Kids Canada was so timely and relevant that I would do just that. I read on the weekend a frightening story about a 22 month old child who is recovering in hospital from a near-drowning at his daycare outside of Ottawa.

Even we had a bit of a close call last week at a friend’s inground pool. Tristan was an arm’s length away from me as I held Simon in my arms with my back to Tristan. He misjudged the slope from the shallow end to the deep end and I turned around to see him flailing and struggling to get his footing back under him and managed to pull him back into the shallow end, sputtering and frightened but safe. Awful things can happen in a heartbeat; please read this and be safe this summer. (It’s long, so I’ve tucked it below the fold. Click on the “more please” button to see the rest of this post.)

Safe Kids Canada – Backgrounder on Drowning

Many serious injuries and deaths among Canadian children are linked to summer activities, especially swimming. In fact, the majority (60 per cent) of drowning incidents occur in the summer.[i]

The Facts:

· According to Safe Kids Canada, drowning is the second leading cause of injury-related death for Canadian children. An estimated 58 children under the age of 14 will drown every year. This is equal to two elementary school classrooms of children.

· Another 140 children will be hospitalized each year as a result of a near-drowning incidents.[ii] Near-drowning can cause brain damage and change a child’s life forever. Children who have nearly drowned can have difficulty learning, remembering, planning and paying attention.

· According to a new poll, 34 per cent of Canadian parents believe that if a child were drowning they would hear splashing, crying and screaming. This is simply not true. Drowning happens quickly and silently – often the child just slips under the water. Their lungs fill with water making it impossible to make any sound.

· During the 10-year period from 1994 to 2003 nearly half of all child drownings and near-drownings in Canada occurred in swimming pools (49 per cent); the remainder were in open bodies of water (37 per cent) such as streams, lakes and ponds; and bathtubs (14 per cent).[iii] Young children can drown in as little as 5 cm (2 inches) of water.

· Quebec and Ontario are the most popular provinces for backyard pools. They lead the country with backyard pool drownings with 47 per cent in Quebec and 37 per cent in Ontario.[iv]

· Children under age five are twice as likely to drown as older children. They are attracted to water but do not know its dangers. Their physical characteristics also put them at risk: a combination of poor balance and top-heavy bodies make them vulnerable to falling in the water.

· 38 per cent of drownings of children under the age of five occur in home pools.[v] Often these drownings occur when an adult is not present, while the child is walking or playing near the water and falls in.

The bottom line – these drowning deaths and injuries are predictable and preventable. Parents and caregivers should use ‘layers of protection’ to keep kids safe when in, on or around water.

Safe Kids Canada: Splash into Safety in 2007

It’s simply not enough to teach your child to swim. Safe Kids Canada strongly recommends using ‘layers of protection’ to keep your child safe when in, on or around water.

Advice for Parents about “Layers of Protection”: Follow these 5 Steps to Water Safety

Step 1: Actively Supervise

42 per cent of all children who drowned in the past 10 years did not have an adult watching them.

When in, on or around water make sure you stay within sight and reach of your child at all times – whether it’s a bathtub, a home pool, a lake, a river, a stream or a pond. This means you have no distractions and you are ready to react – no reading or talking on the phone. Wherever water is present, adults need to be vigilant at all times, not only when children are swimming.

Create a safe water environment inside your home and drain the tub after bathing and avoid using bath seats. Babies can drown when bath seats tip over, or when they slip through the leg openings of the bath seat.

Step 2: Get Trained

Know how to react in an emergency situation. Learn to swim or have an experienced adult swimmer supervise children in, on or around water. Weak swimmers should take swimming lessons, and caregivers should learn First Aid and CPR before assuming the role of supervisor.

Step 3: Create Barriers

Children should not be able to access the water directly from the house or cottage. If there are natural water hazards on your property, fence off an outdoor play space for children to keep them safely away from the water.

Many Canadian municipalities require pools to have three-sided perimeter fencing. Since three-sided fencing uses the house as the fourth side to enclose a pool, it enables children living in the home to easily access the pool from the house. A four-foot high (1.2 m), four-sided fence with a self-closing, self-latching gate provides a proven layer of protection. Research has shown that a four-foot high (1.2 m), four-sided pool fencing is twice as effective in preventing home swimming pool drownings compared to three-sided pool fencing.[vi]

Isolation or four-sided fencing is the only passive prevention strategy that has been shown to significantly reduce drowning in backyard pools.[vii] Research shows a fence that goes around all four sides of the pool could prevent 7 out of 10 drownings in children under five years of age by preventing unsupervised access to the pool.[viii]

Whether you have children or not, if you have an in-ground or above-ground pool you should install a four-foot high (1.2 m), four-sided fence with a self closing, self-latching gate. Pool fences and gates should be designed to resist climbing and the gate latch should be installed out of young children’s reach. All these precautions will prevent children from reaching the pool unsupervised.

Even inflatable pools should be fenced off to prevent young children from gaining access directly from the house.[ix]

Other tips: Remember to remove the ladder when you have finished swimming in an above-ground pool. If you are using a wading pool, make sure to empty it when you are done.

Changing four-sided fencing by-laws; what can you do?

Safe Kids Canada is urging Canadians to help enact a municipal by-law requiring a four-foot high (1.2 m), four-sided fence with a self-closing, self-latching gate around all home swimming pools. Not only should in-ground and above-ground pools be fenced, even inflatable pools need four-sided fencing. Pool fences and gates should be designed to stop kids from climbing and the latch should be installed out of a young child’s reach.

Parents who want to find out about their local by-law and advocate for change to the laws in their area, can start by contacting their local councillor. Advice on how to change by-laws is available on the Safe Kids Canada Web site: http://www.safekidscanada.ca/, click on public policy and advocacy, or by calling 1-888-SAFE-TIPS (723-3847).

Step 4: Use Lifejackets

Lifejackets are designed to keep you afloat in water, but they only work if you wear them. Nearly one-tenth of parents believe that children can be left alone while swimming if they are wearing a floatation device such as a lifejacket, arm floats or an inner tube. Arm floats, inner tubes and other inflatable toys should never be used to prevent your child from drowning. Only lifejackets and Personal Floatation Devices (PFDs) are designed for safety. Stay within sight and reach of your child and put young children and weak swimmers in lifejackets when in, on or around water.

Other Tips: Lifejackets and PFDs should be snug; if there is more than three inches (6 cm) between a child’s shoulders and the lifejacket or PFD, it’s too big. Look for the Canadian Coast Guard or Transport Canada approved label on your lifejacket or PFD.

Step 5: Teach Kids To Swim

Evidence shows that swimming ability alone cannot prevent drowning. While parent and tot swimming classes are designed to educate adults in water safety, toddlers are still too young to grasp these concepts. Safe Kids Canada recommends that by age five children are ready to be enrolled in swimming lessons. This is a developmental milestone for children. At this age children have the mental capacity to understand the concepts taught in swimming lessons, as well as increased muscle development and coordination.

Other tips: Teach kids water safety rules. For example, when at the beach or lake only let them swim where you know it is safe.

References:
[i] Safe Kids Canada. Child & Youth Unintentional Injury: 1994 – 2003 10 Years in Review. 2006.
[ii] Ibid.
[iii] Ibid.
[iv] Canadian Red Cross. Drownings and other water-related injuries in Canada. 10 Years of Research. 1991 – 2000.
[v] http://www.redcross.ca/article.asp?id=001037&tid=024 accessed March 19, 2007.
[vi] Stevenson M. Rimajova M, Edgecombe D and Vickery K. Childhood drowning: barriers surrounding private swimming pools. Pediatrics 2003; 111(2):e115-e119.
[vii] Bierens JJLM. Handbook on Drowning. Springer: Germany, 2006. p. 97.
[viii] Safe Kids Canada. Child & Youth Unintentional Injury: 1994 – 2003 10 Years in Review. 2006.
[ix] Sécretariat au loisir et au sport, the Canadian Red Cross (Québec Divison), and the LifeSaving Society. Pertinent Facts about Drownings and Other Water-Related Deaths in Quebec. Undated (1991 – 1991 data).

Book review: Writing Motherhood

It’s my turn to host another stop on a MotherTalk blog tour, this one for Lisa Garrigues’ book, Writing Motherhood: Tapping Into Your Creativity as a Writer and a Mother. (Disclosure: for writing this review, I get a free copy of the book and a small honourarium from MotherTalk.)

The irony is that I have been writing this review for 40 minutes, and I’m only on the second paragraph – not because my words are stuck or any writerly block or lack of inspiration, but because Simon decided he wanted to poop on the potty tonight – which is still an arduous task requiring a team effort – and then laptop seized up, and then dog yakked on the carpet. Writing and mothering are fitful partners. There’s no shortage of material, but often a serious shortage of available time.

Ahem, so where were we? Oh yes. Book review.

In Writing Motherhood, Lisa Garrigues offers tips and inspiration for mothers who want to write but don’t know where or how to begin. She’s an award-winning writer and educator, and each chapter of the book examines a different aspect of writing your “momoir” woven with vignettes from Garrigues’ life. Each chapter ends with a few writing prompts, which Garrigues calls “invitations,” and a select few “inspirations,” salient quotes from writers and mothers. The inspirations I liked, but the invitations less so. Like a few other bloggers who reviewed the book on an earlier leg of the tour for this book, I’m not really a fan of writing prompts. I did, however, tuck a few of them away for blog fodder on a dry day.

The central premise of the book is that you MUST get yourself a notebook of some sort and transform it into a “Mother’s Notebook.” She devotes more than a page of tips to how to select a notebook, and another page to 13 reasons why you should write longhand. And right there, she lost me. Luddite that I may be, I’m still all about the keyboard. I’m so ridiculously out of practice that it’s physically painful for me to write more than a paragraph, and I type at just the right speed to keep up with my lurching brain most days. Personally, I don’t find handwriting to have any intrinsic craft value. The idea of composing or even recording my first impressions without the easy capability to cut, paste and delete with a keystroke and a swipe of the mouse is nothing short of torturous. Writing longhand may be romantic and creative, but it’s also tedious and way too much work. I do carry a small notebook around with me, but even I have a hard time deciphering the half-formed thoughts and scrawled observations.

I found Writing Motherhood to be more spiritual than practical; there wasn’t any moment when I gasped with inspiration and leapt for my quill (or keyboard), but neither did I find myself flipping impatiently through the pages looking for something of relevance. While I enjoyed the anecdotal style, I think I was hoping for something with more discussion on the craft of writing itself, something like Stephen King’s On Writing – a book I found truly inspiring, and one Garrigues obviously also admired, as she refers to it often.

Writing Motherhood, therefore, is a good tool to help you find writerly inspiration from the act of mothering. It reads very much like the sort writing courses that Garrigues teaches, with each chapter examining a different aspect of where mothering and writing might intersect. The end of the book has a great section on resources, with a few books I’d like to pick up from the library for further inspiration. What I would like to see, however, is an expanded section on moving from private musings to published work, and a much larger section on using the Internet to share your work.

Aside from my disagreement with the central premise of the book, it did inspire me to think about myself as a writer. Garrigues loves the idea of a mother’s notebook, but I see the blog serving the very same purpose. I force myself to write every day on blog, and every now and then I try to shake things up with different formats and styles of writing. Like Garrigues’ mother’s notebook, the blog is a place where I record the minutiae that makes life as a mother both delightful and devastatingly difficult, and also a place where I can play with form, style, and voice. I am slowly giving myself permission to consider myself a writer, even though I’ve yet to get the elusive external validation of a byline in the mainstream media.

Oh, and while I didn’t completely forget that I offered up my slightly-used copy of The Big Payoff from my last MotherTalk review, I’m a little late. Congratulations to Myra! I’ll e-mail you for your snail-mail coordinates.

The Secret, and other thoughts

Jojo dropped off her DVD of The Secret last night, as promised. I’d been hearing a lot about it, and I was curious in a skeptical sort of way. I had mostly dismissed it until some reasonably credible people in my life started singing its praises, and then I heard that the mentoring and coaching program at work was also advocating it.

Beloved and I watched it together, and I have to admit that there were no dramatic epiphanies on either of our parts. The Secret is basically a repackaging of the power of positive thinking mixed in with a bit of theosophy and a little bit of The Force thrown in for good measure… conveniently, the three tenents upon which I’ve already built my own rather esoteric faith system.

The premise is that your thoughts and feelings have a physical power, and that there is a universal “law of attraction” that draws what you think and feel to you. In short, if you send good energy out into the universe, the universe sends good things back to you. I’m completely on board with that philosophy, and have tried to live my life that way for years. Where I am still a little skeptical is the extrapolation from that, where The Secret claims that whatever you want, as minor as a parking spot close to the door at the mall or as major as a multi-million dollar mansion by the beach, you can draw to yourself through three simple steps. First, tell the universe what you want. Second, visualize not only that you actually have what you covet, but allow yourself to experience the positive emotions that you will feel when you have the thing you covet. Third, believe in the power of your thoughts.

Hmmm.

I remember back in the early 1980s when we were growing up, we used to play a lot of cards as a family. My dad, who was in sales at the time, was a hugely strong believer in the power of positive thinking, and he’d slap his hand on the deck of cards and ‘demand’ which card he wanted to pick up. I can’t remember how frequently it would work as a ratio of the number of times he tried it, but damn if it didn’t work at least often enough to leave an impression with me all these years later.

So maybe there is something to this. I mean, I do agree with Shakespeare, who says through Hamlet, “There are more things in Heaven and Earth, Horatio, Than are dreamt of in your philosophy.”( I,v, 175) And I can’t argue with the underlying premise. I just have trouble with the covetous aspect of this particular philosophy, that you can attract stuff to you by simple virtue of your desire.

I also have a bit of a problem with the idea that you attract everything to yourself, including the bad stuff. You attract cancer and AIDS and poverty through negativity? And the idea that you can cure yourself of something – again, cancer comes to mind, but I’m also thinking of infertility here – by simply willing it away? What really bothers me about this is the implication that if you can’t will it away, you simply aren’t trying hard enough.

Anyway, it was very interesting, and the timing was certainly right. I’ve been making a conscious effort to lead a calmer, less obsessive, more “zen” life since last Wednesday. I’m giving myself over to the universe, placing my faith in fate, and I have to tell you it’s been incredibly liberating.

I’ve decided, for example, not to go for a beta blood test to find out the actual hCG count. This is a huge departure from the girl who kept obsessive results of hormone levels and follicle counts in an excel spreadsheet through four infertility treatments. Those of you who were around last September when I found myself pregnant will remember the great gnashing of teeth and wringing of hands that occurred when the blood test came back at the high end of normal, possibly indicating twins. The great irony, of course, is that high hCG is at least ordinarily an indicator of a strong pregnancy. So, I’ve decided this time to simply be grateful for the positive pregnancy test this time around, and wait patiently for the first ultrasound in two weeks.

Same with the nanny that we interviewed the other day – the same day, in fact, that we found out about the pregnancy. She’s great and I really like her, but I’m not sure we can pay what she needs. So I made our best offer, and she’s been considering it. I could have obsessed and been anxious and fretted for days, but none of that would have made any difference whatsoever. Instead, I’ve given it over to the universe, and know that whatever was meant to be will happen. I’ve done what I can, the rest is up to her.

I’m not sure if I can keep this up, but I’d like to try. I think this is what people who have true faith in God can do – simply turn over their hopes and fears to God, with the faith that God knows best and the Will of God will prevail.

But on the off chance it might help, I think I’ll take a few quiet minutes over the next little while to visualize the new caregiver frolicking happily in the park with my boys, and my round-bellied self waddling up the street to meet them with my heart spilling over with joy. I mean, it can’t hurt, right?

Whaddya think? You buy it?

Reactions

First of all, thank you all for your sweet words of congratulations. I love you guys, I really do! You not only to you elevate my joy, but you inspire me to tell better stories – or at least to tell stories better, as I don’t think I could have improved the way the narrative line unfolded itself on that one.

Although of course I am delighted to find myself pregnant, I truly have to say it’s the funny and sweet reactions of the people around us that have touched me deeply. This was the e-mail correspondence between Jojo (the boys’ godmother) and I before, during and after lunch time on Wednesday. (To truly appreciate this story, you have to know that when we were going for our first IVF cycle back in 2001, Jojo’s mom Maureen went to her church and lit a candle for our success. When we conceived Tristan from that cycle, Maureen earned herself a place of honour in our family forever.) So anyway, Jojo and I were talking about The Secret, and Jojo had been telling me how even though we’re both a little cynical about these things, she had had some pretty impressive and immediate results. The (very slightly edited for the sake of brevity) correspondence from that point goes on like this:

—–Original Message—–
To: Jojo
Sent: May 30, 2007 10:50 AM
RE: The Secret

Holy shit! Yes, I would very much like to borrow your DVD now!!!!!!! I promise to not roll my eyes any more when people talk about the Secret!

Send out your magic happy thoughts that the nanny interview goes well for me tonight, if you can spare it for me please!!!

—– Original Message —-
To: Jojo
Sent: May 30, 2007 10:50:40 AM
RE: The Secret

P.S. I’m also four days late. Tick tick tick….

—– Original Message —-
To: Dani
Sent: May 30, 2007 11:18 AM
RE: The Secret

Ahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh! How have you not POAS?????

You are my favourite silver lining friend! I am sending out an order for both things today for you!

—– Original Message —-
To: Jojo
Sent: May 30, 2007 11:31 AM
RE: The Secret

*laughing* I think I might buy one today. I have no physical symptoms, but didn’t have any in Sept either. The one thing that is really making me go “hmmmmmm?” is that I’ve woken up the last two nights at 2:30 or so in the morning and haven’t been able to get back to sleep. Insomnia has been a huge symptom for all of my pgcies. ?????

—– Original Message —-
To: Dani
Sent: May 30, 2007 11:46 AM
RE: The Secret

Get thee to a pharmacy! And you know….tonight IS a Sens game.

—– Original Message —-
To: Jojo
Sent: May 30, 2007 12:34 PM
RE: The Secret

Um, Jojo?

It’s postive!!!!!!!!

—–Original Message—–
To: Dani
Sent: May 30, 2007 12:51 PM
From: Jojo
Re: The Secret

OH MY GOD OH MY GOD OH MY GODOH MY GOD OH MY GOD OH MY GODOH MY GOD OH MY GOD OH MY GODOH MY GOD OH MY GOD OH MY GODOH MY GOD OH MY GOD OH MY GODOH MY GOD OH MY GOD OH MY GODOH MY GOD OH MY GOD OH MY GODOH MY GOD OH MY GOD OH MY GODOH MY GOD OH MY GOD OH MY GODOH MY GOD OH MY GOD OH MY GODOH MY GOD OH MY GOD OH MY GODOH MY GOD OH MY GOD OH MY GODOH MY GOD OH MY GOD OH MY GODOH MY GOD OH MY GOD OH MY GODOH MY GOD OH MY GOD OH MY GODOH MY GOD OH MY GOD OH MY GODOH MY GOD OH MY GOD

YES!

The universe listens to you!

***

(I actually had to take out about half of the “OH MY GOD”s. They more than filled my screen!)

So, for one thing, don’t diss The Secret! And for another, don’t you think everybody needs a friend like Jojo?

Beloved’s reaction was more – how can I put this delicately? – restrained. He had been out with the boys all afternoon at a picnic, and so I waited until I got home from work to tell him (which is also why I waited until late in the afternoon to post about it. Some things you just shouldn’t find out through your wife’s blog, ya know?) I think I mentioned to him that I was on the late side, but I certainly hadn’t been obsessing about my lateness in the usual way, so I definitely caught him by surprise.

He was lying on the couch being used as a jungle gym by two climbing monkeys when I flashed the positive test at him without prelude, and his eyes bulged out in a way that even Chuck Jones couldn’t have animated better. He looked at me with a lovely mixture of confusion, exhaustion and guarded joy, and later asked my forgiveness if it takes a while for him to feel fully engaged by the idea. The miscarriage last November was harder on him than it was on me, I think, and I competely understand where he is coming from.

My Mom and Dad also received the news with a mix of joy and restraint. My sweet, sweet mother tried valiantly to convince me not to share the news at first. She’s just superstitious enough that my public outing of the pregnancy this early in the game screams a dangerous tempting of fate. But she soon came around to my argument that joyous moments are worth sharing, and if sad times come we’ll deal with them, too. She did, however, send me a list of “demands” late in the afternoon:

—–Original Message—–
To: Dani
Sent: May 30, 2007 1:25 PM
From: Mom

Here’s my list:
Do not lift anything heavy
Do not pick up heavy sod
Get a cleaner for the first 4 months
Do not pick up heavy sod
Eat Eat Eat folic acid and vitamins
Do not pick up heavy sod
Do not be stubborn about this
Love Mom

And, the next morning:

—–Original Message—–
To: Dani
Sent: May 30, 2007 1:25 PM
From: Mom

If that pen is heavy – put it down right now
Ha ha
Love Mom

My own reaction has been one of surprisingly calm. I’ve been basking in the joy of the reactions of everyone else without thinking spending too much time worrying over the details in my head. It helps that we’ve been distracted by the sheer busyness of my work and home life right now, including the interview with the potential new nanny. She’s lovely and I really like her and hope it works out, but I fear we can’t afford her. I sent her an e-mail with our best offer, which is about $200 per month short of what she said she was hoping to earn, and I’m waiting to hear back from her.

I really hope to maintain a sort of “que sera sera” attitude throughout this pregnancy. No good can come of worrying myself sick, and a copy of this article happened to run in yesterday’s Citizen (what timing!) confirming that as early as 17 weeks gestation babies can be affected by maternal stress.

Grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change… and the wisdom to enjoy the moment. But it wouldn’t hurt to get my hands on a copy of The Secret either…

Edited to add: can I say again how much I love the people who contribute to the lively conversation in the comment box? I just got this in my mailbox and had to share it with you. Nicole, you ROCK! My mother will be very impressed… and I promise, no sod will be lifted.

The joys of May

As I mentioned, yesterday was my Dad’s birthday. I was thinking about his birthday on the weekend, and remembered that it was four years ago on his birthday that we told my parents that I was pregnant with Simon.

I had found out that day or the day before, and had had a hard time keeping the secret even that long. I remember practically dancing from foot to foot in their sunny living room, telling him that he was going to get a present for his birthday but that it would take nine months to be delivered. Dad regarded me for a long moment with a confused look on his face, obviously aware of some hidden message but not quite able to piece it together. My mother, on the other hand, squealed in a lovely supersonic yelp that might have been, ‘REALLY?’ before we both burst into tears and fell into a hug. Looking back, it’s sweetly ironic now that Simon and Papa Lou have a special bond that defies description. It hasn’t occured to me for years that we announced his pending arrival as a birthday gift to my Dad.

I have to admit, I’ve been thinking a lot about that May, back in 2003, as this month unfolded. Of course, I started the month with babies on my brain as my lost due date came and went just before our cottage weekend. And here we find ourselves deep in the thick of a hockey playoff season, just like we were in 2003. For those of you who haven’t read it, the story of how I found out I was pregnant with Simon has always been one of my very favourite stories, and I’ll wait if you want to go read it and see what I mean.

*waits*

*checks watch*

*waits*

See? I mean, of course I’m biased, but I’ve always loved that story. And each year, I can’t help but smile nostagically as I hop back on to the hockey bandwagon, because exciting playoff hockey games and happy news are now inextricably linked in the mythology of my family.

I’ve been conscious, as the month of May passed this year with its many highs and lows, of that blissful May four years ago. So much so that when I found myself a few days late again this month, I couldn’t help but smile. I am, after all, only a couple of days late. I really do know better than to get excited over a mere couple of days.

But I kept thinking about buying that test and bringing it home, and it was a Wednesday four years ago, too. And I kept remembering that hockey game back in 2003, and how exciting it was having the game and the big maybe all tied up in my brain, and I couldn’t help but think about tonight’s game, Game Two. And when I found myself wide awake at 2:30 in the morning for the second night running, I puzzled over my insomnia for a while before realizing that the only other times I have suffered insomnia have been while I was pregnant.

So I went out at lunchtime today, and I bought a test. A two-pack, of course.

And then when I got back to the office, I just couldn’t stand having the damn thing there and not doing anything about it, so I decided what the hell. I’ll take the test. So on my lunch break, with far from my first morning urine in a stall in the office bathroom, I took the test.

And it was positive! A big, dark, immediate and unmistakable plus sign. I’m pregnant!

So I’ve been walking around my office all afternoon with a positive pregnancy test tucked safely in my pocket, and Fates be Damned, I’ve been having a lot of fun flashing it to a select group of my absolutely lovely, sweet and supportive colleagues, none of whom flinched at me waving a peed-on stick around in front of them and several of whom cried or squealed in delight or did both.

Oh, and speaking of colleagues? Shhhhh! What we say in the blogosphere stays in the blogosphere, at least for now, okay?

Four weeks down, 36 to go…

Thirty years of Star Wars

I’ve been meaning to blog for a few days about the 30th anniversary of the release of Star Wars.

Thirty years.

Thirty!!

Star Wars is, hands down, the single most influential movie in my life. It also happens to remain my all-time favourite movie. My childhood memories are tightly woven into a backdrop of Star Wars movies, toys, books, bubble-gum cards and mythology. On this anniversary weekend, there have been plenty of articles in the media about how seminal Star Wars was, and how it changed the movie landscape forever. From an article in the weekend Citizen:

No wonder the U.S. Library of Congress’ National Film Registry has named Star Wars “a culturally, historically, and aesthetically important” film, or that the American Film Institute placed it 15th on its list of the top 100 films in the 20th century. And then there’s that ubiquitous line from the movie: “May the Force be with you.” The AFI ranks the phrase as the eighth-greatest quote in American film history. In this light, it is no exaggeration to say, as film critic Stephen Greydanus puts it, “the Star Wars universe remains a cultural institution of immense proportions.”

I clearly remember going to see it for the first time. We went with another family, and on the way to the theatre the four adults sat in the front and back seat of our wood-panelled Cutlass Ciera station wagon (it was, after all, 1977) and we kids rolled around like peas in a 10-gallon tub in the back. Return of the Jedi was the first movie my brother and I were allowed to attend without parental supervision; I remember my father dropping us off in front of the downtown cinema – in the days before the mall-based multi-plex – for an 8:30 am showing.

When we got our first VCR in the early 1980s, one of those giant ones with the square buttons you pushed down and held to make them stick and where the lid opened upwards to accept the cassette and the ‘remote’ was attached by a long cord and consisted of an analogue switch with two options ‘pause’ and ‘play’, Star Wars was the first movie we rented and later copied. I lost count of how many times I watched it through high school, but it was in excess of 120 times. (I may have mentioned I didn’t get out much in the earliest years of high school, and by the time I had a pack of friends, they were the kind of good-natured geeks who loved nothing better than to watch Star Wars again and again right along with me after hours spent playing D&D.)

Growing up, my brother had tonnes of Star Wars action figures and playsets. We (note the plural possessive – they may have been gifts for him, but we played with them together) had the ice planet Hoth, the Death Star, and of course, a Millennium Falcon. I had a wicked crush on Luke Skywalker through the first two movies, but as I entered my teen years my tastes strayed from Luke’s clean-cut innocence to the roguish worldliness of Han Solo… because in the end, no matter how good the girl, she always likes the bad boys the best.

All these years later, I will still queue up Star Wars in the DVD player if I have an open stretch of evening and feel for a little cinematic comfort food. I think it’s safe to say that I would personally rank the movies in the descending order they came out, except that I liked Episode III more than Episode I. I’m a purist, though. The new series, the Anakin stories, are good movies in and of themselves, but they don’t hold a candle to the original trilogy.

The Interwebs are full of Star Wars tributes and memes, but these two I couldn’t help but share. Have you seen this this hilarious photo from Flickr? Apparently the US Postal Service decorated mailboxes to look like R2D2 in honour of the movie’s 30th anniversary. The photo is clever, but the comments embedded into it are hilarious. (Note to self: figure out how they did that – very cool!)

And one last treasure to share with you: this clever little plot comparison between Star Wars and Harry Potter from Neat-o-rama. Perhaps this one appealled to me in particular because I’m deep in the heart of the Harry Potter books, currently in the thick of the Goblet of Fire, working my way through the series in anticipation of Deathly Hallows this summer. Funny to think that Harry Potter may be for this generation of kids what Star Wars was for me!

This post is getting unweildy and I still haven’t examined how Star Wars influenced me spiritually, or how Beloved and I still compare and contrast what the movies meant to us growing up. I haven’t had a chance to talk about the quotable Star Wars, and how the language of the movie introduced me to a world of rebel alliances and emperors and bounty hunters and cantinas and smugglers and ambassadors – words I learned for the first time through Star Wars and that coloured forever my understanding of them. I haven’t gotten into how Star Wars made me curious about life on other worlds, and inspired a life-long love of astronomy and fascination with SETI… I could go on for two sets of trilogies!

What does Star Wars mean to you?

A birthday gift for Papa Lou

It’s my Dad’s birthday today. Dad, if you happen to be reading, go away! You can come back tomorrow, but if you read any more you’re going to spoil the surprise of your birthday present.

(I can never tell which of my family members reads the blog with any regularity. I know my Mom reads every day – Hi Mom! – and I’ve set the blog as the default home page on our internet browser, so I know Beloved reads the posts about him and the ones with catchy titles. My sister-in-law in Windsor has said she reads it, but I don’t know how regularly – Hi Belinda! – and while I think my brother mostly ignores it, his wife drops by sporadically. Hi Nat! Where was I going with this? Oh right, I was giving my Dad time to leave the room so we can talk about him.)

My Dad doesn’t ask for much, and he’s difficult to buy for simply because what he wants he immediately goes out and gets. (At least I come by my lack of impulse control honestly!) He has been known to buy stuff for himself on December 23 that someone has already bought and wrapped and tucked under the Christmas tree for him.

So when he mentioned that he would like a cordless drill for his birthday to replace one that wouldn’t hold a charge more than a few minutes, I was thrilled to have an easily obtainable gift that I would love to give, and that he would really need and (hopefully!) would not acquire for himself in the days leading to his birthday.

The only caveat was that he wanted to make sure it had a minimum of XX volts of power. I say XX because within three minutes of the conversation, I was distracted and whatever number fit into that XX slot was lost forever. I think he said 18v, but he might have said 12v; I didn’t want to ask him because that would confirm that I was taking him up on his suggestion and he would know he was getting the drill for his birthday. (Subtle, eh? Almost as subtle as writing on the Internet about it.)

The very next week, Canadian Tire had a nice 12v cordless drill in the flyer for 35% off, and I made a mental note to pick one up and ask my brother if he wanted to share the $50 cost with me. (Hey, we’re Dutch and Scottish; what can I say, we’re cheap.) He didn’t immediately reply to my e-mail, but I wasn’t too worried about it. I saw the flyer on the day before the sale came into effect, and thought every single day of the seven-day sale, “I’ve really got to get over to Canadian Tire and buy that drill.” I finally made it late on the last day of the sale, a good 10 days ahead of my Dad’s birthday. I was a little concerned that he had said he wanted a 18v instead of a 12v, but I figured if he really had his heart set on a 18v, he could just trade up.

Drill safely tucked into my closet, I sent another e-mail to my brother asking if he wanted to go in with me. A few days after that, I saw in a flyer that Zellers had an even nicer 18v cordless drill with two batteries for only $40. More power for less cost? That in itself is a gift my Dad would be all over!! But I promptly forgot through the weekend to get myself over to Zellers to pick one up. So yesterday morning I called Beloved from work and told him his task for the day was to get over to Zellers to buy that drill, and we’d take the other one back to CanTire.

After I called Beloved, I called my brother, who reported that he had in fact received my e-mails, and had found a great deal at Rona on an 18v cordless drill, so he had picked it up. He wasn’t entirely sure how or when he’d get it up to Dad here in Ottawa, but it was still a better deal than the original one I’d bought at CanTire. I told him about the Zellers deal, and he agreed that it was the best deal of all and we would respectively return our other cordless drills to Rona and CanTire.

Are you keeping track? At this point we’ve purchased not one, not two but THREE cordless drills. When we get something into our heads as a family, we really follow through!

Beloved called me late yesterday afternoon to report that he had successfully acquired the third and final drill. He said that while he and the boys were in Zellers, they encountered – of all people – my Dad. I don’t think I’ve ever heard my Dad talk about Zellers before. He likes Winners and WalMart and the dollar store – oh how he loves the dollar store! – but I haven’t ever heard of him haunting Zellers. I was SURE that Beloved would report that they found him with cordless drill in hand, but apparently not. Beloved and the boys had a close call, though, diving into a nearby rack of clothing when they first spotted Papa Lou, and then leaving the drill safely hidden in a pile of clothes while they went over to say hello. Tristan relayed the story to me with great hilarity as I tucked him into bed last night, highly amused that Beloved had to quickly clap his hand over Simon’s mouth as an abrupt end to a sentence that began, “Papa Lou! Guess what? We just bought you a ….”

Okay, so this post is more for me than for you. I’m okay with that if you are. Truth be told, it’s really for my Dad, who is a living example of what a great father and a wonderful grandfather should be. He’d appreciate a story about how his family schemed and planned and leapt behind racks of clothing to avoid him.

Happy birthday, Dad, even if you aren’t allowed to read this post until your birthday is done!

Now, where DID I put the receipt for that first drill?

Random babbling on a Monday morning

The good news is, this is the LAST Monday I have to work until after Labour Day. Having a certain amount of seniority means I get almost five weeks of vacation time this year, and in addition to a week in June and a couple later in the summer, I have booked off every Monday through June, July and August. Yay!

The bad news is, I have to work five days this week and the forecast calls for wall-to-wall sunshine. What a drag!

The good news is, the Sens are playing in game one of the Stanley Cup finals tonight. Go Sens GO!

The bad news is, the game starts at 8 pm and the end of regulation time will be dangerously close to my bedtime. Please, hockey gods, no overtime on the weeknight games.

The good news is, I’ve made contact with a few potential caregivers this weekend, including two daycare providers and a nanny.

The bad news is, I’m tired of interviewing caregivers and more than a little gun-shy about starting all this over again. My standards for personal connection are considerably elevated (and they were pretty damn high to begin with!) and my financial threshhold is getting dangerously high, too.

The good news is, I have hugely satisfied my recent craving for family friendship by getting together with some old friends last week that I had lost touch with, and spent Sunday with not one but two different groups of friends who are like family and family who are like friends.

The bad news is, with all that socializing the house is a disaster and I have no clean underwear.

The good news is, my backyard is in full bloom, from the lilacs to the irises to the apple tree to the honeysuckle and the myriad other perennials that are self-sufficient enough that I haven’t yet neglected them to death.

The bad news is, we still have a 12′ diameter dirt circle we have to resod from where the pool used to sit. It looks alarmingly like a crop circle in our backyard. I’m thinking of painting a red target in it, just to see if the neighbours react.

The goods news is, I actually managed to whip together a post this morning, which is more than I expected to be able to accomplish because there is simply not enough hours in the day to do all the stuff I’ve been trying to get done lately.

The bad news is, it’s a pretty sad excuse for a post. I’ll do better tomorrow, probably. Or, you know, maybe not. See, that’s the fun of coming here lately. You never know which of the 17 personalities I’ve been cultivating will be holding the pen. Today, I think it was a group effort.

Colour me impressed

Originally uploaded by Dani_Girl

Someone left a brilliant comment recently about saving kids’ art to Flickr. I love this idea and have decided to start uploading the boys’ art the lazy way, via the digital camera (as opposed to the scanner, which I haven’t yet mastered.)

Is it just me, or are these pretty darn good drawings for a five year old? The one on the left is Woody from Toy Story, and the one on the right is (cringe) Sponge Bob Square Pants. He drew them freehand, without any reference material at all. You know I’m all about the words, so he didn’t get it from me, but Beloved is a classically trained animator with a degree in fine arts, so I’m guessing Tristan has Beloved to thank for his artistic proclivities.

P.S. This is my first post-from-Flickr blog entry. How cool is that? And I’ve just realized that I now have to upgrade to a Pro account because I can only have three sets on the basic account. Now at least I know what to ask for for my birthday this year! Does anyone know how I can add more than one picture per post when blogging through Flickr?

Book review: The Big Payoff

Today is my turn to host a stop on the MotherTalk blog book tour for Sharon Epperson’s The Big Payoff: 8 Steps Couples Can Take To Make The Most Of Their Money — And Live Richly Ever After. (Disclosure: I got a complimentary copy of the unedited proof and a small honourarium for participating in the book tour, and the link is built through my Amazon Associates account.)

I was interested in this book because my finances are a bit of a weak spot. We make a good chunk of change as a family, certainly more than I ever expected to make, and while we own our own home and half of a three-year old car (we’ll own the other half in another three years), we have what I consider to be a sickening amount of debt, mostly consumer debt and the tail-end of Beloved’s student loans. If we could get out from under the debt we’d be in great shape, but too much of our income goes to paying down the debt and we haven’t really got a savings plan – nor have we started socking away money for the boys’ bail college funds. I have the golden-handcuffs security of a freedom 55 government pension, but Beloved jokes that he’ll be working from beyond the grave. In short, we’re luckier than average in a lot of ways, but there are still lots of areas we need to work on.

Unfortunately, this book wasn’t a huge amount of help for our family situation for one key reason: we’re Canadian. This book has great information about 401(k)s and IRAs, 529 plans and Coverdell Accounts – none of which exist here. If you are American and looking for a great book with lots of specific details on the various types of accounts and tools you can use, I’d highly recommend this book.

The author, Sharon Epperson is a CNBC business correspondent and frequent contributor to a financial column in USA Weekend Magazine. She writes on what can be a complex and, let’s admit it, somewhat dry subject with an easy style. The book is well-organized and easy to follow, even for a Canadian like me – I now have a greater understanding of American financial tools and options, at the very least.

In addition to the specifics of the American system, there was a lot of good general information, too. I particularly liked the section where Epperson reiterates the “60% solution” conceptualized by MSN Money editor in chief Richard Jenkins. The theory is that you limit all essential spending to 60% of your gross income. This essential spending, called “committed income”, includes household expenses like rent/mortgage, home insurance, taxes, phone, utilities, basic food and clothing, basic transportation (including car payments, maintenance, gas, public transportation fees, etc.), insurance premiums, and fixed expenses like childcare. The remaining 40% of your income should be roughly divided into four groups: retirement savings, long-term savings and/or emergency fund; short-term savings, and fun money.

I have to admit, I haven’t had time in this topsy-turvy month to actually sit down and figure all this stuff out, but I know I’m going to have to do it soon. The other issue that Epperson raises that had me toe-ing the carpet in guilty embarrassment was the need to sit down with your partner and create a budget. I’m terrible for budgeting, and I’m worse for communicating about finances. Beloved and I each have control over our own money, and I take care of most of the household expenses. In fact, our only joint account is the mortgage. We really have very little idea how much the other makes or where the money is going. It works for us, but it’s not terribly practical. Epperson notes that “a budget helps facilitate communication.” I think this is the best take-away from this book for me. The budget isn’t a be-all end-all, but a tool to help foster financial openness. It’s on the to-do list, I swear it is!

I had a few other grumblings about this book. Although it purports to be designed for middle-class couples, Epperson’s version of middle-class seems to be a lot wealthier than my conception of the term. One of the main recommendations is that you should live on one income. Epperson recommends that if you are in a dual-income family, you try living on one income and putting the second income into savings or toward paying down debt. Ha! I’m sure we’re at the high end of the middle-class scale, and there’s no way we could do this any time in the foreseeable future.

Anyway, while this book didn’t quite live up to my expectations for it, it still had enough morsels and nuggets that it was worth my time to read it. I am inspired, at least, to start making a formal budget and – gasp! – talking to Beloved about our finances a little bit more. Well, we can start by talking about his finances. It’s better than nothing!

I’d be happy to donate my copy to one of my American friends. If you’d like a slightly-used unedited proof of The Big Payoff, leave a comment below and I’ll make another random draw next Monday.