Reactions

First of all, thank you all for your sweet words of congratulations. I love you guys, I really do! You not only to you elevate my joy, but you inspire me to tell better stories – or at least to tell stories better, as I don’t think I could have improved the way the narrative line unfolded itself on that one.

Although of course I am delighted to find myself pregnant, I truly have to say it’s the funny and sweet reactions of the people around us that have touched me deeply. This was the e-mail correspondence between Jojo (the boys’ godmother) and I before, during and after lunch time on Wednesday. (To truly appreciate this story, you have to know that when we were going for our first IVF cycle back in 2001, Jojo’s mom Maureen went to her church and lit a candle for our success. When we conceived Tristan from that cycle, Maureen earned herself a place of honour in our family forever.) So anyway, Jojo and I were talking about The Secret, and Jojo had been telling me how even though we’re both a little cynical about these things, she had had some pretty impressive and immediate results. The (very slightly edited for the sake of brevity) correspondence from that point goes on like this:

—–Original Message—–
To: Jojo
Sent: May 30, 2007 10:50 AM
RE: The Secret

Holy shit! Yes, I would very much like to borrow your DVD now!!!!!!! I promise to not roll my eyes any more when people talk about the Secret!

Send out your magic happy thoughts that the nanny interview goes well for me tonight, if you can spare it for me please!!!

—– Original Message —-
To: Jojo
Sent: May 30, 2007 10:50:40 AM
RE: The Secret

P.S. I’m also four days late. Tick tick tick….

—– Original Message —-
To: Dani
Sent: May 30, 2007 11:18 AM
RE: The Secret

Ahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh! How have you not POAS?????

You are my favourite silver lining friend! I am sending out an order for both things today for you!

—– Original Message —-
To: Jojo
Sent: May 30, 2007 11:31 AM
RE: The Secret

*laughing* I think I might buy one today. I have no physical symptoms, but didn’t have any in Sept either. The one thing that is really making me go “hmmmmmm?” is that I’ve woken up the last two nights at 2:30 or so in the morning and haven’t been able to get back to sleep. Insomnia has been a huge symptom for all of my pgcies. ?????

—– Original Message —-
To: Dani
Sent: May 30, 2007 11:46 AM
RE: The Secret

Get thee to a pharmacy! And you know….tonight IS a Sens game.

—– Original Message —-
To: Jojo

Sent: May 30, 2007 12:34 PM
RE: The Secret

Um, Jojo?

It’s postive!!!!!!!!

—–Original Message—–
To: Dani
Sent: May 30, 2007 12:51 PM
From: Jojo
Re: The Secret

OH MY GOD OH MY GOD OH MY GODOH MY GOD OH MY GOD OH MY GODOH MY GOD OH MY GOD OH MY GODOH MY GOD OH MY GOD OH MY GODOH MY GOD OH MY GOD OH MY GODOH MY GOD OH MY GOD OH MY GODOH MY GOD OH MY GOD OH MY GODOH MY GOD OH MY GOD OH MY GODOH MY GOD OH MY GOD OH MY GODOH MY GOD OH MY GOD OH MY GODOH MY GOD OH MY GOD OH MY GODOH MY GOD OH MY GOD OH MY GODOH MY GOD OH MY GOD OH MY GODOH MY GOD OH MY GOD OH MY GODOH MY GOD OH MY GOD OH MY GODOH MY GOD OH MY GOD OH MY GODOH MY GOD OH MY GOD

YES!

The universe listens to you!

***

(I actually had to take out about half of the “OH MY GOD”s. They more than filled my screen!)

So, for one thing, don’t diss The Secret! And for another, don’t you think everybody needs a friend like Jojo?

Beloved’s reaction was more – how can I put this delicately? – restrained. He had been out with the boys all afternoon at a picnic, and so I waited until I got home from work to tell him (which is also why I waited until late in the afternoon to post about it. Some things you just shouldn’t find out through your wife’s blog, ya know?) I think I mentioned to him that I was on the late side, but I certainly hadn’t been obsessing about my lateness in the usual way, so I definitely caught him by surprise.

He was lying on the couch being used as a jungle gym by two climbing monkeys when I flashed the positive test at him without prelude, and his eyes bulged out in a way that even Chuck Jones couldn’t have animated better. He looked at me with a lovely mixture of confusion, exhaustion and guarded joy, and later asked my forgiveness if it takes a while for him to feel fully engaged by the idea. The miscarriage last November was harder on him than it was on me, I think, and I competely understand where he is coming from.

My Mom and Dad also received the news with a mix of joy and restraint. My sweet, sweet mother tried valiantly to convince me not to share the news at first. She’s just superstitious enough that my public outing of the pregnancy this early in the game screams a dangerous tempting of fate. But she soon came around to my argument that joyous moments are worth sharing, and if sad times come we’ll deal with them, too. She did, however, send me a list of “demands” late in the afternoon:

—–Original Message—–
To: Dani
Sent: May 30, 2007 1:25 PM
From: Mom

Here’s my list:
Do not lift anything heavy
Do not pick up heavy sod
Get a cleaner for the first 4 months
Do not pick up heavy sod
Eat Eat Eat folic acid and vitamins
Do not pick up heavy sod
Do not be stubborn about this
Love Mom

And, the next morning:

—–Original Message—–
To: Dani
Sent: May 30, 2007 1:25 PM
From: Mom

If that pen is heavy – put it down right now
Ha ha
Love Mom

My own reaction has been one of surprisingly calm. I’ve been basking in the joy of the reactions of everyone else without thinking spending too much time worrying over the details in my head. It helps that we’ve been distracted by the sheer busyness of my work and home life right now, including the interview with the potential new nanny. She’s lovely and I really like her and hope it works out, but I fear we can’t afford her. I sent her an e-mail with our best offer, which is about $200 per month short of what she said she was hoping to earn, and I’m waiting to hear back from her.

I really hope to maintain a sort of “que sera sera” attitude throughout this pregnancy. No good can come of worrying myself sick, and a copy of this article happened to run in yesterday’s Citizen (what timing!) confirming that as early as 17 weeks gestation babies can be affected by maternal stress.

Grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change… and the wisdom to enjoy the moment. But it wouldn’t hurt to get my hands on a copy of The Secret either…

Edited to add: can I say again how much I love the people who contribute to the lively conversation in the comment box? I just got this in my mailbox and had to share it with you. Nicole, you ROCK! My mother will be very impressed… and I promise, no sod will be lifted.

Author: DaniGirl

Canadian. storyteller, photographer, mom to 3. Professional dilettante.

16 thoughts on “Reactions”

  1. Dani I wish you the easiest pregnancy ever! I myself worry about carrying heavy things – namely, my almost 2 year old who weighs over 30 pounds – during this pregnancy… is it safe or not? Bending, lifting, running, etc… I worry myself silly but what am I to do – NOT carry my son around when he asks? Sigh… anyway… don’t stress or at least try not to stress and try not to worry! I hope our first trimesters go by really, really fast!!!!!!!!!!!!

  2. Dani-So happy for you. It’s so fun to read everyone’s reactions and feel the glow radiating off of you! I hope things go smoothly for you. You have such a good attitude. Hugs all around!

  3. This just shows me that I have been way too wrapped up in myself, I completely missed your last post. I am so thrilled for you!!! Congratulations!! Whoo HOOO!

  4. Your mom is the BEST! It sounds like she is trying to keep a lid of her enthusiasm. Be careful Fran, you’re so full it’s starting to leak out!
    You make me cry, mentionning my mom. In a good way.

  5. Moms are full of good advice 🙂 I totally want someone to tell me to get a cleaner! 😉
    And, I love the diagram…
    I’m still so very excited for you!!!

  6. I’m with your mom on the cleaner. It will allow you to get more sleep, spend more time with the boys (before things get chaotic), and just take the edge off a hectic life. Once there are 3, things will be crazier than ever. this recommendation comes purely from selfless, neutral, scientific reasoning, and has nothing to do with the fact that i would like a cleaner too (without the pregnancy part).

  7. WHAAAAAAA!!! Ok, this is the 2nd post I have read in a row that has a pregnancy confession. Is it something in the Ontario water?
    Congratulations, Dani. This is lovely news.

  8. It’s true, if you miss a day, you miss a lot. Great news, Dani! I’m crossing my fingers and toes, even my eyes, that everything goes well. If it is a girl, I have the greatest clothes, even eyelet smocks so that you can reuse the sleepers from Simon and Tristan. My mom thought eyelet smocks were important and they did dress Reid up when she was wearing a sleeper. Ken thought she looked like she belonged on Little House on the Prairie but I thought of them as hugs from Grandma who was far away.

  9. I am 61 years old so not at all in your age range or that of your readers. I so enjoy your blog that I often read it more than once on the same day. It gives me such joy. It is intersting to me how much some things have changed over the years since I had my children…and some times I am saddened by things that have not changed. Where is our national child care?!

  10. That person up top? That’s my mum. How surreal is that, Dani? Your boss and her MOM read your blog. And have just about exactly the same opinion on national child care.

  11. Wow, a lot happens when I haven’t checked in on your blog in a couple of days – fantastic news Dani! There’s nothing quite like those heady days when you first find out, walking on cloud 9 a little, basking in the joy.
    I’m so happy for you, congratulations to you and your boys. And I’ll keep it quiet.

  12. Ohmigod, ohmigod, ohmigod!!! I haven’t been by in a while and I am so stunned and pleased by your news!!! All my happy thoughts are headed your way along with my best wishes for the easiest pregnancy ever.

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