Plan B: Week two update

Hey, lookit that! I’ve lost four and a half pounds in just over two weeks! Yay me!!

So it looks like this Plan B thing is working out for me. I’m still rather obsessive about my eating; I’ve rediscovered Calorie Count’s online tools, and have been meticulously recording every calorie consumed and expended. According to them, right now I’m expending around 850 calories a day more than I’m taking in — no wonder I’m losing weight. I’ve read that 3500 calories burned is one pound of fat, so I’m on track to burn about a pound every four days or so, exactly the results I’ve been seeing.

This week’s neurosis was whether my relatively low new calorie consumption will harm my (already rather pathetic) breastmilk. I’m finding that I don’t even need to consume the full 1400 calories I’m allowed each day without starving. I found some great info on La Leche League’s site that confirmed what I suspected: there’s not too much you can do to alter the composition of your breast milk and in fact, your body will give the best of your nutrients to the baby rather than hoard them for yourself. Don’t worry, Mom, I’m not starving myself. Must, however, be better at remembering to take my vitamins. If you’re interested, I also really liked the Body Mass and Calorie Expenditure tool on this site, the only one I’ve found that takes into consideration whether you’re lactating or not. Also provides an excellent breakdown on what your calorie intake should comprise. Good stuff!

So not only have I lost 4 1/2 pounds, but I’m about three inches slimmer around the waist, which is where I really needed to lose it. I’m still around 40 inches at the waist (from 34 prepregnancy) and my pot belly makes me look about four months pregnant. Those darn 10 lbs babies have stretched almost all of the elasticity out of it, but it’s slowly melting back into shape.

Go me!

Plan B: Week one update

So it’s been a week since I’ve been following my “Plan B” weight loss plan. The results so far? Drumroll, please!

1.5 lbs lost, one inch off my waist and one inch off my hips. Yay! (Actually, I lost the pound and a half between Tuesday and Saturday, and have been annoyingly stuck since then. I know, I have to be patient.) Well, it’s obviously working, if not a little more slowly than I would have liked, and I’m encouraged enough to keep at it. A few random observations from week one:

  • I’m quite proud of the fact that I’ve had no trouble at all meeting the “no sugar” part of the new diet.
  • On the other hand, the “limit your daily intake to 3 servings of carbs” part nearly killed me the first week.
  • Apparently, I’m a bit of a carb junkie. I’d say I was eating maybe six to twelve servings a day before this week. No wonder I couldn’t lose any weight.
  • I’m now more miserly with my carbs than I am with my money.
  • The first day, I was hungry to the point of being mildly headachy all day. The second day I started to find my rhythm, and I did pretty good the rest of the week. I went over on carbs one day and protein the next, and have not quite been able to keep up with my fruits or my fats. In fact, if it weren’t for nuts, I’d hardly be eating any of my five allotted daily fats.
  • I only fell off the wagon once when we went out to celebrate a friend’s birthday (waves to Jojo) and the hostess put out chips and salsa. I managed to resist the cake but caved on the corn chips, then topped it off with a few delicious salt and vinegar chips. Heaven, and worth every bite. At least I kept it down to about a dozen chips. And the next night my mom brought over a Farm Boy Triple Berry pie for dessert and my knees nearly gave out in berry bliss when I stole a mouthful and the centre of the strawberries were still warm from the oven. I don’t think I’ve ever tasted such a delicious pie. And yet, I ate only that one bite. Yay me!
  • I think the biggest shock to my system has been the two litres (eight cups) of water each day. In three pregnancies, I never had to pee so much or so vehemently. We were out shopping, going from one store to another one half a kilometer down the road. I felt the beginnings of a need to pee, but figured I had lots of time. By the time we made it to the second store three minute later, I was lecturing the boys as I parked the car about how we were going to go DIRECTLY to the bathroom and they were not to dawdle or so much as look around until we got to the bathroom and were we very clear on this because Mommy was NOT JOKING and it was VERY IMPORTANT. It was too close for comfort, I tell you.
  • A couple of days in, the nurse from the clinic called me to ask how I was doing. She had called just as I was unloading the dishwasher while eating spoonsful of yogurt directly out of the measuring cup, and I mentioned this to her in passing as a way to illustrate that I’m having a bit of a hard time balancing the extra time I need to weigh and analyze and consider my food choices while still taking care of the boys. She gave me a bit of a speech about taking time for myself and if that means letting the baby cry for a couple of minutes, so be it. I couldn’t help but roll my eyes. Yes, I do take time for myself. Yes, I have been known to let the baby work his way up from a fuss to a froth as I took an extra few minutes to get to him. But never so I could finish eating yogurt, for goodness sake. I save my “me” time for more important things, like going to the bathroom. Or, you know, blogging.
  • I don’t really eat meals anymore, I eat off my checklist. I think ahead to what we’ll have as a family for dinner, reserve those food choices and then scan my list to see which food groups still have open slots and eat accordingly. One day I had 3/4 of a cup of dry multigrain cereal, a piece of cheese and a red pepper for breakfast. This is neither a sustainable nor normal way of eating, I’m quite aware, but for the next six months or so it will be okay, and I’m hoping over the long term I can meld new habits into a more moderate regime.
  • I had said that I do not want to get obsessive about eating. I am so completely obsessive about my eating right now that it’s not funny. I suppose this is not really a bad thing, and I’ve always been a tad on the compulsive side anyway. Truth be told, I kind of like the beancounting aspect of monitoring my daily intake by making lists and ticking off boxes.

One and a half down, 18.5 to go!

Plan B

Well, I worked out three times a week pretty much every week this summer from the middle of June onwards, and in eight weeks I’ve lost a grand total of… two and a half pounds. That’s a hell of a lot of work with rather unspectacular results, so I’ve gone ahead with what I’m calling Plan B.

I had an appointment yesterday with Dr Douglas Bishop (thus, plan “B”), a local MD with a specialization in internal medicine who has his own weight-loss clinic. It’s pretty much like medically supervised weight-watchers, from what I’ve gathered so far. I’m on a 1400 calorie per day diet, including 200 extra calories because I’m still nursing, bless Lucas’s hungry little heart. Rather than counting calories, I’m supposed to count portions. For instance, I’m supposed to eat three fruit portions (an apple is a portion, as is two kiwis or a tablespoon of raisins), and two portions of dairy (more than half of which is comprised by the milk in my coffee.) I get five portions of “good fats”, which I’m going through a lot faster than I expected (one portion of almonds at 10 almonds makes a perfect snack, but perhaps not three times a day, and I simply love my avocadoes a little too much). I also get seven proteins (each ounce of meat is a portion) and one “restricted” vegetable. The restricted ones are the sweet ones like carrots and corn. Things like spinach and — thank the deity of the local farm — tomatoes are “free” and you can eat as much as you can stuff into your face. The two biggest problem areas I can see are that my carbs are seriously curtailed to three portions per day — oh, how I loves me my carbs — and I’m supposed to cut out ALL sugar, including molasses and honey.

I really don’t want to become obsessed with my eating or my weight goals on the blog or in real life, but I think some accountability will do me good. So, in the interest of full disclosure, here’s where I’m starting out. (**deep breath**) I’m heavier than I’ve ever been outside of pregnancy at 190 pounds right now. I’m a shade shy of 5’8″ tall. My goal is to lose 20 lbs in 20 weeks, which will bring me back to my pre-Lucas-pregnancy weight of 170 lbs. That’s a comfortable size 12 to 14 for me, and means I’ll be able to fit back into my work clothes when I go back to work in February.

I had been working out three times a week while Beloved was home for the summer, but I’m just not sure how I’m going to do it when the boys go back to school. They have child minding at my gym, but I’m not sure Lucas will be too keen on the idea. I can get up super-early and work out at 5:30 to be home before anybody else wakes up but — well, that’s possible but probably not too likely to happen. And right now, evenings are just too hectic. We’ll see. If I can do one morning during the week and then Saturday mornings, I’ll be doing okay. And, I hope to do a lot of strolling with my stroller in the evenings, likely with the dog and one or two older boys in tow.

Anyway, that’s Plan B. I’m hoping you’ll be seeing a lot less of me in the future!

So, is this blogworthy material, or should I just let you know how I did at the end of 20 weeks?

Edited to add: had to share this doodle from Lee:

2007_07_15_good_intentions

Doodle by Lee. The code for this doodle and other doodles you can use on your blog can be found at Doodles.

Yeah, that about sums it up.

Weighty matters

And yet another reason why I don’t come out and play in blogland much these days: I’m spending four or five hours a week at the gym.

Sigh. I’m almost six months post-partum, and I still have 20 lbs to lose. That’s 20 to get to my pre-pregnancy weight, and another 10 lbs after that would be ideal. But I’m not so much looking at the scale for validation, I just want to fit into the clothes I used to wear and not have those awful folds of back fat anymore. Ick!

I didn’t do too badly with the pregnancy weight, I guess. I lost track at the end, but I think I gained 40 to 50 lbs overall. I’m surprised at how hard it is to get rid of what’s left, though. Yet another way in which the breastfeeding thing isn’t quite working out like I planned this time around!

I’ve finally started to see some results from my three-day-a-week gym habit, but the going is still slow. I started with weights two days a week and a 45 minute cardio on the third day back at the end of June, thanks to Beloved being home and able to take care of the boys. I’ve managed to reclaim one pair of shorts that were too tight for public consumption on Canada Day that are now just a little bit uncomfortable now.

Funny, though, rather than feeling energized by all the working out, I’m feeling so drained all the time lately. Makes it hard to keep as active as I’d like to be, let alone active enough to chase after the boys!

My cousin has recommended a doctor here in Ottawa who specializes in weight loss (no, not “Dr” Bernstein) and I think I’ll check him out after our vacation. For $100 you get a 60 to 90 minute consultation and body analysis, and you go for weekly or biweekly follow-up appointments at $15 each. Cheaper than weight-watchers, which never worked for me anyway, and with a real GP supervising. It’s about time I learned how to eat properly once and for all, because I really think that’s the root of my ongoing weight issues.

Because it feels like I’m always at the gym these days, I keep looking at myself in the mirror, expecting the fat to just me melting off visibly. Even though that isn’t quite happening it does feel great to be going to the gym every other day. At least I can feel those neglected muscles growing — under the protective layer of fat!

The summer of my life

I’ve been thinking about my greatest summer hits. In chronological order, I think these are the best five summers of my life.

1987. I’m seventeen years old. I’m working part time selling magazine subscriptions by telephone, but my hours are 5 to 9 pm, so my days are free. My folks have a little 16 foot motorboat, and many days are spent with my dad or my whole family, puttering about on the Thames River or Lake Huron. I have a boyfriend, but he lives in Sudbury, so I’m free without feeling lonely. My mother buys a brand new blue Mustang, coincidentally on my 17th birthday, and is willing to share it with me.

1995. I’m twenty-four years old, and divorced a little less than two years. I’ve just met Beloved a few months before. With a small inheritance courtesy of my grandfather, I spend four weeks backpacking through Europe by myself. I am by equal measures terrified and amazingly proud of myself to be travelling alone. I come home knowing that Beloved is the man I want to spend the rest of my life with.

1999. I’m twenty-eight years old. I have just graduated magna cum laude from university after five years of part-time study. Beloved and I get married and spend a week in Paris as our honeymoon. We move from our tiny, crowded but adorably bo-ho attic apartment to a townhouse, and the week we move in we also get Katie, the doggy love of my life.

2007. I find out I’m pregnant at the end of May, starting the summer on a high note after a long year of frustrating low notes. We go to Bar Harbor, Bayfield, and Smuggler’s Notch by the end of the summer. The boys are finally old enough that I can play with them and relate to them as real people, and we have a blast as a family all summer long.

2008. Our family is complete with the arrival of Lucas. We travel to Windsor, and plan to travel to Lake Placid with our extended family. We hope to visit northern cottage country as well. The days are long and unstructured, and it is very, very good. I’m off work but still getting paid, spending time with the four men who make me happiest. While I feared spending the whole summer with all five of us in the house together might have ended up with at least one of us dead and buried in the back yard, so far it’s been great.

(As I was writing the title to this post, it occurs to me that it’s a double entendre. I was thinking about my greatest summers thus far, but I’m also smack in the golden sunshiny summer of my life, aren’t I? Blue skies and sunny days, my friends.)

What have been the best summers of your life?

Nine years ago today…

It was one of the hottest days I can remember, the steamy tropically oppressive kind of heat that reminds me of my childhood summers in Southern Ontario. The thermostat registered well over 30 degrees, and with the humidex it was at least 40C, maybe more.

As we dressed for the day, my mother and I kept stealing worried glances out the window at the stormy skies. As it turned out, no rain would fall that day, but the morning skies were grey and threatening.

When we arrived at Fanshawe Provincial Park around 11:30, the skies had begun to brighten, but the sun peeking through the clouds only escalated the humidity. The tiny white clapboard church, built in the 1800s and relocated to the Pioneer Village in the 1970s, had barely enough pews to hold our 50 or so guests. They had come from near and far – Toronto, Windsor, and a large convoy traveling with us from Ottawa.

My maid of honour was my brother Sean, and Beloved’s best man was his sister Belinda. We were married by an ancient Justice of the Peace whose name has since escaped me. She had no sense of humour whatsoever, but was accommodating enough to marry us in the little church in the pioneer village using a ceremony mostly of our own design.

My dad escorted me down the aisle to the sound of Stevie Wonder’s “You are the Sunshine of My Life.” Beloved and I wrote our own vows, and my friend Candice read a poem by e.e. cummings. The first stanza goes like this:

the great advantage of being alive
(instead of undying) is not so much
that mind no more can disprove than prove
what heart may feel and soul may touch
–the great(my darling)happens to be
that love are in we,that love are in we

It was a simple, short and lovely ceremony, full of love and laughter. That day in the pioneer village there was a strawberry social, and so while the guests treated themselves to strawberry shortcake after the ceremony, we posed for photos in the wildflower gardens and in the replica of the original Labatt’s brewery. We hired a friend of my brother’s as the photographer and instead of stilted portraits, we have a lovely set of bright candid photos that truly capture the fun of the day.

Our reception was in the provincial park next door. We had a catered barbecue picnic, with corn on the cob and peanut chicken skewers and the most wonderful salads. It was so unbelievably humid that the caterers had difficulty getting the charcoal lit and burned down enough to cook the chicken, and we ran out of bottled water and ice twice. We decorated the all-season gazebo, open on one side to overlook Fanshawe Lake (which is really just a wide spot on the Thames river), with sunflowers and white tulle ribbons, and little frog figurines danced around a mason jar filled with wildflowers on every table.

(We didn’t mean to start a frog theme when we fell in love with the sweet invitations that showed two frolicking frogs with the words “Join us in our leap of love” on the front, but that is exactly what we did. There were even frogs on the wedding cake my sister-in-law Belinda baked for us.)

There wasn’t much dancing – it was simply too hot – but there were waterfights. Beloved and I did manage a dance to “A Whole New World” from Disney’s Alladin as the afternoon drifted to a close. By six o’clock, the official wedding part of the day was done, but most of us reconvened later that night for an evening of camraderie, beer and souvlakis in several of Richmond Street’s finer establishments.

Nine years ago today, I pledged myself to Beloved with these vows:

I, Danielle, choose you, Mark, to be my love.
I pledge to you my life, my heart, my hope and my joy.
I promise to love you with my finest kindness and my deepest care.
You are my prince, my knight, my king;
My friend, my jester and my inspiration.
I promise that I will love you always, from this day forward,
Blissfully, joyfully, infinitely.

Nine years later, and my heart still sings when I think of the life we have built together.

Happy anniversary, my Beloved. You are the centre of my world, and I love you.

The red couch

Six years ago, I bought a couch. I’d say “we” bought a couch, but it was me who saw it, me who coveted it, and me who coerced Beloved into buying it. It was a red couch. And five and a half years ago, I said to myself, “What was I thinking? I will never impulse-buy furniture again. A red couch?” And for the last five years, every time I thought about redecorating, every time I watched one of those home-improvement shows on television, every time I visited friends’ houses with fancy new furniture, a cautionary voice in my head said, “Hey, you. Next time you buy a couch, try to think beyond the moment.”

You can see it in this picture:

I'm your big brother!

It’s not that it’s a bad couch, it just doesn’t quite match the blue carpet and the hunter-green with cranberry and cream cottagey loveseat. (That one was my first post-divorce furniture acquisition, way back in 1995, and has long outlived it’s life expectancy as well.)

So for five years I’ve been (barely) tolerant of the red couch and the green couch and the blue carpet (you can cringe, it’s okay, I’ve made my peace with it) and I’ve pined for the day when I could go out and buy actual grown-up furniture that actually, you know, matched. A living room set. Imagine.

Except I’m kind of cheap when it comes to this kind of stuff, and couldn’t consider buying new couches when I had all this perfectly comfortable, if not mismatched, furniture in my living room.

But, this past week has been dedicated to refinishing and carpeting our basement to turn it into a playroom / family room. A desperately in need of a — you guessed it — couch. Finally, a guilt-free way to get rid of at least one of the couches that have haunted me for years! The red couch won’t fit downstairs, but the green couch surely would. And since I have sworn by all things holy that I would buy a furniture SET the next time the opportunity arose, I’m more than half way to a clear conscience in the disposal – through sale or donation or curbside “Free” sign – of the red couch, too.

As if that weren’t enough angst for one person’s living room, add to the mix my lifelong desire for a chair-and-a-half. Okay, maybe not lifelong, but we’re talking at least 20 years of coveting. I still remember the first time I ever saw a chair-and-a-half, and instantly desired it. It was salmon and teal, which will give you an idea of exactly how long ago we’re talking here.

So with all this percolating in my understimulated little brain, I hopped on the Internet for a first exploratory peek at furniture options, promptly fell in love. The second set I looked at has been haunting me for days. I can’t stop thinking about it.

Except.

It’s red.

And green.

(Well, technically, it’s beige with red and green accents.)

I think I’m broken. With all the furniture options in all the world, and with five years of swearing up, down and sideways that the next sofa upon which I will rest my tender bits upon will be anything BUT red or green, I cannot get this set out of my head.

What do you think? I looked at more than a hundred, possibly as many as a thousand, (okay, at least twenty) living room sets since I first saw this one, and nothing comes close to the emotional response I had when I first laid eyes on this set. I haven’t actually, um, sat on it or anything. I don’t even know if it’s comfortable. But I think I love it. The question, I guess, is will I continue to love it, or will I be writing the “Red Couch Redux” blog post five years months from now?

A fifth of meme

Filched from Raising WEG, a meme of fives:

What were you doing five years ago?

We had just found out that I was pregnant with Simon, and were getting ready to move into this house. I had only been back at work after my maternity leave with Tristan for about five months, and had come back to an entirely new job, my first real “communications” job. I was in way over my head in trying to manage some aspects of our departmental communications about SARS — and trying not to be freaked out about it. It really was a transitional point in our lives, one of those hinges that divides everything into “before” and “after”.

What are five things on your to-do list for today?
(Five? Only five? I could probably give you fifty.)

  • laundry. and more laundry. then some laundry. and some more laundry.
  • scour the kitchen to try to combat the ant infestation and look into some baby and pet friendly chemical solutions.
  • get out to Home Depot to get a new hose and an extender-thingee to get our faucet to a more convenient and reachable location that is not buried deep in behind the shrubberies.
  • hang the baby swing for Lucas I picked up on UsedOttawa.com for $5.
  • do some online research about our multi-generational family trip to Lake Placid next month.

(Sigh, I don’t think I’ll get to all five.)

What are five snacks you enjoy?

  • BBQ chips – just like Geddy Lee on BNL’s Snacktime CD!
  • Oatmeal choco-chip cookies that have been nuked to make the chips melty.
  • Tostitos ‘hint of jalapeno’ bite-sized rounds with Jack’s Garden salsa.
  • Fundips.
  • Oriental rice crackers.

What five things would you do if you were a billionaire?

  • How about I just say “everything” and be done with it?

What are five of your bad habits?

  • Eating out of boredom or stress.
  • Dropping things wherever I lose interest in them, instead of taking ten seconds to actually put things away.
  • Reading e-mail and then forgetting to reply.
  • Procrastinating.
  • Stopping by the Tim’s drive-thru for coffee every time I have an errand to run.

What are five places where you have lived?

I’ve only lived in two cities (London, ON and Ottawa), but here are five different living arrangements I’ve had:

  • Renting a room in a house, which I lost when they kicked me out because a friend had lost her apartment and needed a place to live.
  • My own tiny apartment in a sixplex in old Ottawa South.
  • Renting a room in a seven-bedrooom student slum, even though I was a full-time worker and only going to school part-time.
  • Renting a couple of rooms with a friend in the attic of a mansion in Sandy Hill, from a man we later found out was under observation by CSIS for suspicion of running guns to Iraq.
  • Sharing ownership of a triplex in the Glebe with my ex-husband, his parents, his aunt and uncle, and his cousin. Yes, all SEVEN of us were on the deed.

What are five jobs you’ve had?

  • communications advisor
  • video store clerk
  • assessing and correcting income tax returns
  • ice-cream scooper
  • computer systems tester

I’m supposed to tag five people. (I hate tagging people. I want to tag everyone, because I love to be tagged, but then I forget to do the meme and I feel guilty and I don’t want to add to anyone’s stress levels. I know, I just have to get over myself sometimes.) Um, okay, I know Theresa has a new blog, so she might like to be tagged. And Alison and Miche are always up for a meme, right? And Chantal might like to play along. And I’ll leave the fifth space open for anybody else who wants to give it a go.

The next plague: mastitis

My vexatious breasts are at it again, finding new and horrific ways to cause me grief. I suppose I should know better than to tempt fate with a question like “what’s next.” The answer is a rocking case of mastitis. Fever, chills, wretched body aches, and it feels like I have a ball of hot lead tucked into my right breast. Good times.

What really surprised me was how fast it came on. I had a bit of tenderness Tuesday night, and Lucas was being fussy feeding on that side. I figured I would have another blocked duct by morning, but had no idea how quickly it would become an infection. By midmorning yesterday I knew I was in trouble. Luckily, my GP saw me last night and I’m already on antibiotics. Yeah, lucky me.

Mastitis has always been my personal boogeyman, something I’ve been terrified of throughout my breastfeeding years. And as Stephen King observed, while the monster exposed can never be as frightening as the monster in the closet, it’s still pretty darn sucky. One more experience to add to my mothering portfolio. Pass the Advil, willya?

It’s official: I’m a writer!

Long time readers and friends (hmmm, that may be redundant) know that I have always harboured not-so-secret dreams of being a “real” writer.

You might argue that I already am a writer in that my day job (in that other life that still lurks outside of maternity leave) since a large part of my job comprises stringing words together in a way that is meaningful. It’s rarely creative, though — at least, not in the conventional sense.

You might have more success in arguing that through blog, I have come closer to earning the title of “writer.” I write regularly for an audience, often with at least a certain amount of craft and attention to style, voice and narrative. In accepting paid advertising and other compensation, I’ve even been remunerated for my writing. All very nice, and all writerly sorts of things to do. But somewhere in my head, I’ve always felt I wouldn’t be an official “writer” until someone commissioned an article and published it, and was even kind enough to pay me for my efforts.

That day has finally come.

Remember last summer, when the nice folks over at Smuggler’s Notch offered us a free weekend getaway at the resort, all for the simple effort of blogging it? Well, my contact there sent me an e-mail just after Lucas was born saying congratulations on the new baby, and oh, by the way, would you be interested in writing an article for our resort magazine? I was barely a month postpartum, hormonal and sleep deprived. I couldn’t write a coherent grocery list, let alone be creative and wordy enough to write an actual essay. Of course I said yes.

The theme was “taking a walk on the wild side” and the idea the editor wanted to pursue was adventures with your kids. I took my original blog post on our canoe trip from hell and polished it up a bit to turn it into a freestanding article (click on the link that says “Family Adventure: Who Needs Wildlife When You’ve Got Kids” near the bottom of the page.) In re-reading it, there are a few things I would change, but it’s not bad for a first try, especially one written when I considered it a good day to get my teeth brushed by dinner time.

The resort magazine has a circulation of about 17,000, so it has the potential to be read by quite a few eyeballs. And of course, I stuck the blog address in my byline.

My first published article. One more item to check off on my life-long to-do list. I’m so proud of me!!