Category: Ah, me boys

A love letter to Tristan, age 12

My dear darling Tristan, today you are twelve years old!

Tristan, you are a curious, creative, thoughtful boy with a delightfuly dry and wry sense of humour. You are warm and affectionate, shy but loyal, and full of deep thoughts. You are always a wonderful companion and I enjoy spending time with you.

Tristan's birthday

It seems you grow an inch every time I look at you lately, my son. You grow taller, your voice grows deeper, and the shadows of facial hair on your uppper lip are more than just peach fuzz now. It’s okay if I still think of you as my baby, though, right? Even though we may literally see eye to eye by the end of this year?

Birthday cupcakes

Your best friend continues to be Simon, whether you admit it or not. The two of you have an insular world of imagination woven from Minecraft and Pokemon and YouTube that comes replete with its own set of idioms and concepts impenetrable by your parents. It’s almost like a secret language of twins. And you continue to show great patience with Lucas, who adores you in ways to which I’m pretty sure you’re oblivious. You have a sweet circle of friends for whom you care deeply, and they clearly feel the same way about you. Especially one in particular. 😉

New treehouse-2

This year, your favourite things seem to be Minecraft, meatballs, that silly cat, Minecraft videos on YouTube, any artistic endeavour, Pokemon, Chinese food, family movie nights, animals of all sizes, and your dad’s baking. You are still my adventurer and my explorer, the one most receptive to my proposals of a walk in the woods or a ride on our bikes. This year we discovered a love of skiing together, and it was a wonderful adventure to share with you.

First ski day!

Tristan, you continue to show an amazing talent for art. In addition to sketching and drawing, you have lately taken an interest in digital artwork and your PicCollage app on your iPod. You made your own birthday party invitations with it, and you’ve lately taken to creating online avatars not just for yourself but for your friends as well.

Backflip!

You see yourself as a non-conformist, but you strive to make others happy. Given the opportunity to choose between two types of cupcakes to bring to school to celebrate your birthday, you sent around a poll to make sure all your classmates and teachers had a chance to vote for their preference. I read just a few days ago an article called 18 Things Highly Creative People Do Differently and I saw you in so many of the points. Daydreaming, observing the world, taking time for solitude, seeking new experiences, viewing life as an opportunity for self-expression, losing track of time, seeing things differently – all the things that make you ocasionally challenging to parent or manage in school, in other words. It makes me look forward to see where you are going in life.

Learning to knit

One thing in particular I’ve enjoyed this year is our evening walks with Bella. Although the long winter nights lately have been cold for walking, our chats have been a great way to get to know what’s going on in your life. You’ve shown an interest in astronomy and I’ve been happy to talk your ears off in sharing what I love about the stars and planets.

This is what a perfect Mother's Day looks like (4 of 4)

This has been your last year of primary school. Next year you will move on to the challenge of a middle school embedded in a high school, but for now you have enjoyed being among the kings of the school. You have very much enjoyed participating in your school’s morning “radio show” and dressing up in the school mascot costume – two of only a few of the rewards of being a sixth grader.

Winter walk to feed the chickadees

These letters get harder and harder to write as you get older. I’m no less proud of you, no less charmed by you, no less delighted by your company – but I feel like I can’t be as candid about my affection or your personality and interests as you grow older. Your stories are your own now, crafted more and more by your own motivations, passions and dreams. With each passing year, you become more in charge of writing the story of who you are and where you are going with your life, and I’m only along for the ride and the companionship – and maybe to take a photo or two along the way.

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You may be bigger, my man-child, but you’ll always be my baby. Happy birthday, my sweet Tristan! We adore you!

A love letter to Lucas, Age 6

My dear, sweet Lucas, today you are six! years! old!

Sweet Lucas, you are an adorable kid. You are warm and affectionate and love to share kisses and hugs, not only with your mom and dad, but grandparents and teachers, too. You draw beautiful artwork woven with expressions of “I love you mom” written right into them. I secretly hope you never grow out of the practice!

Lucas in the sunshine

You are a smart, curious boy, Lucas. You ask intriguing questions out of the blue that give me an occasional glimpse into your busy mind. “How do you stick the light to the ceiling?” and “Where does the snow go?” and “How do you see only one thing if you have two eyes?” and my favourite, “Where does the water in your mouth come from?” You are unique among your brothers for both the sheer number and the startling complexity of your inquiries.

"Take a picture of me upside down, Mom!!"

Ah, your brothers. It’s not easy being the third of three boys, but you have found many ways to cope. You will repeat yourself, never escalating your tone or volume, again and again until you are acknowledged to your satisfaction. Being the youngest leaves you in the precarious position of being both wise beyond your years and “the baby” in everyone’s eyes except your own. You’ll forgive me if I hold on to your sweet babyness for just a little while longer, won’t you?

Weekend with the cousins

You started school full days this year, even though you are still in kindergarten. I struggled for quite a while with the idea that you were too advanced for a mixed kindergarten class, and wanted to skip you ahead to Grade 1 this past fall. While I think we made the right decision, I still wonder if you weren’t more than ready for Gr 1 even now. You can read quite well now, recognizing many sight words and sounding out many more complex ones. You can count well past 100 in English and know all your colours and the seasons in French. In fact, I worried you were a little bored in school before the Christmas break, as you became quite resistant to going, but the lure of seeing your best buddies seems to be winning you over again. I still miss your company on my Wednesdays off, though!

First flower of spring!

You are a boy who knows what he likes. Currently, your favourite things are peanut butter, just about any fruit, breakfast for dinner, animals (especially dogs and cats, but you were recently charmed by a hedgehog and you love to browse at the pet store), Minecraft, daddy’s iPad, Playdough, dinosaurs, your Imaginext playsets, Lego, Hexbugs, and anything involving arts or crafts. And video games, of course.

Lazy day

You are still best friends with Owen. In fact, since you two are joined at the hip and even share the same birthday, you’ll be hosting a joint super-hero birthday party this year! Your other friends are Cole and Darrien and Hudson and Matthew and Dante. You are sweetly oblivious to the names of most of the kids in your class, especially the female ones, but you do profess great affection for Mme Spicer, Mrs Innis and Miss Cheryl.

This is totally why I had kids.

Oh my Lucas, how you can draw! You surprise me every day with your creatitity and your ability. Your talent is far beyond your years, and I am truly amazed by your drawings, not to mention the copious amounts of them. Oh the trees we have killed! How many six year olds know about primary and complementary colours, and the ROYGBIV order of the colours in the rainbow? Not only do you love to draw but you are startlingly sophisticated in your creativity.

Artist at work

You love your bedtime stories, Lucas. We have recently graduated from board books and simple storybooks to chapter books, and we are currently working our way through Charlotte’s Web. You also love the National Geographic Kids books that Daddy brings home from the library – books about everything from stars and planets to meerkats to dinosaurs, and you and Daddy have discovered the fun of iPad digital books this year. Your preferences are wide-ranging and ecclectic!

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We tried to enroll you in skating lessons this past fall, but you were so miserable that we pulled you out after a few weeks. On the other hand, you adore your springtime swim lessons and one of your favourite places in the world is the Manotick pool during the summer. Although the pool closed for the season on Labour Day weekend, you asked regularly if we could go back until there was snow on the ground.

Christmas Tree Quest 2013

Another huge event in your life this year was the arrival of Bella. It was you who seemed most affected by her arrival – you were the easiest for her to catch and nip as a puppy, and your toys were the ones she found and chewed, and you are the only one not tall enough to step over the baby gates that still, to my lasting annoyance, bar the stairs and your room from her. I think it was safe to say that you did not love having a puppy in the house, but you do love her now. Every night, the two of you charge up and down the hallway together, and you’ve learned that if you give her a toy to carry, she doesn’t try to catch your pajamas with her teeth as you play. It’s sweet to see how much she obviously loves you and your brothers, despite the fact that you might occasionally forget to be gentle with each other.

There's a new girl in town!

Lucas, I could go on for pages telling you how much joy you bring to our lives. You are a delightfully affectionate, clever, sweet boy. You charm us, you delight us, and you make us laugh. You’re a wonderful companion and a talented artist and you hold your own ground impressively against two older brothers.

Black and white beauties on the beach

Happy sixth birthday, my adorable Lucas. We love you!!

Astronaut in Aisle 3

8:50 am Beloved calls me at work. “Did you know Chris Hadfield is being interviewed about two blocks from you right now?” I gasp and instinctively look out the window. He’s not floating outside my fourth-floor window, and I’m kind of relieved by that.

“No kidding?” I ask, and hatch a plan to meander casually past the Market Media Mall under cover of heading out for a cup of coffee.

“And he’ll be at Costco tonight signing his book!” Beloved continues.

“Costco?” I ask. “Seriously?”

And that’s how capers are ignited.

9:05 am I am outside the big plate glass windows of the Market Media Mall, resisting the urge to press my nose against the glass as I peer in, trying to catch a glimpse of Cmdr Hadfield. No such luck. I’ve never been inside this building, so am not sure if it is private or open to the public. I weigh my options and decide being charged with tresspassing on my coffee break will be exceedingly difficult to explain to my boss and slink back towards Starbucks.

12:20 pm I am standing in line at Indigo with a copy of Chris Hadfield’s book, An Astronaut’s Guide to Life on Earth in my hand. I feel slightly guilty, because not only have I asked for this for Christmas, but when I mentioned I’d like it Tristan had immediately said, “Okay, I will get that for you!” At the time, I whacked him with my mitten and told him he was supposed to keep it a secret, and he looked at me with that expression that is increasingly common on their faces, the one I see often on their father’s face – mom is weird, but we love her anyway.

3:45 pm I pick the boys up at school and I am practically bursting with excitement as we pile into the car. “Who wants to go meet an astronaut at Costco?” I blurt. They look at me blankly, waiting for the punch line. “No, for real! Commander Hadfield is at Costco, do you want to go get him to sign a book for us?” You would think I would learn by now not to pose these escapades as options.

“Will it take long?” asks Simon, who has the stamina of a goldfish.

“Well, probably,” I admit. “There will be a lineup, I’m sure, but the sooner we get there the faster it will go!”

“I have homework to do,” Tristan says tentatively.

“What about dinner?” asks Simon.

“And I want to play Minecraft!” adds Lucas, who is always sure to make his opinion is counted.

I look at them, weighing the mature response (“Oh, okay, I thought you would love this but if you’re not keen, then I understand. Let’s go home.”) versus my using my mom-guilt powers for evil. I settle for a middle road: “How often in your life will you get to meet an astronaut in Costco? It will be an adventure! C’mon, let’s do it!”

They are, I must admit, less than jumping-up-and-down excited, but they’re curious and happy enough to appease me for the sake of an adventure, so we let the dog out for a pee, pack a wee bag of snacks, and drive down to Costco.

4:15 pm I have never seen the Costco parking lot this busy. Ever. Uh oh. We park at the Petsmart across the way and make our way in.

4:25 pm We find the line snaking down the aisle from the centre of the store where a little table has been set up with a small stack of Cmdr Hadfield’s books. “Hey, this isn’t so bad,” I tell the boys brightly as we walk down the aisle past 50 or so people. Then I get to the end of the aisle and see that the line snakes back down the next aisle – and back up the aisle after that, and another one after THAT, and then up the back wall of the store. We settle in to the end of the line, which snakes up and down FIVE aisles in front of us – and this a full half hour before the book signing even begins.

4:30 pm Lucas asks “How much longer?” for the first time.

4:30:30 pm Lucas asks “How much longer?” for the second time.

4:30:45 pm Lucas asks “How much longer?” for the third time.

4:45 pm We hear a small cheer from somewhere near the centre of the store. Either Cmdr Hadfield has arrived early or people are way too excited about finding a jar of olives the size of a human head.

5:02 pm We are out of snacks and juice boxes. I try reading aloud from Cmdr Hadfield’s book to pass the time, but the natives are too restless and the people standing around us seem less than appreciative of my spoiler efforts.

5:20 pm Reinforcements arrive! Beloved finds us and takes the boys over for a $2 hot dog dinner. Word is the line now snakes past the meat department.

5:31 pm Simon returns with a slice of 800 calorie cheese pizza for me, which the people in front of me eye covetously.

5:45 pm The orginal plan had been that Beloved arrive to take custody of Lucas and bring him home, as we had thought the line-up would be too long for him to endure and the chance to meet Cmdr Hadfield not something he would appreciate. This would also liberate Bella from her crate, in which she has been confined all day. However, Lucas decides he wants to stay and Simon decides he wants to go home. Tristan stoically endures any adventure I propose, as always.

5:46 pm Costco staff wander the line with a gigantic box of chocolate, appeasing the crowd. We’ve come about half way from our starting place to the front of the line. The end of the line is far from sight, possibly in Barrhaven.

5:51 pm Simon decides the wait may in fact be worth it and that he wants to stay. All five of us are in it for the long haul.

5:53 pm We are officially enumerated. Ours is the 528th book to be signed. I weep for Cmdr Hadfield, who is probably still as you read this sitting in Costco facing an endless line of weary autograph seekers.

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6:02 pm We achieve the penultimate aisle, and the line moves steadily. While we are waiting we browse vacuums, shavers, stools and office chairs, and a $50 block of post-it notes. Seriously, who needs a $50 block of post-it notes?? We peer through the crockery at Cmdr Hadfield. He was once so far, up on the International Space Station, and now he’s SO CLOSE!!

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6:19 pm As we make our final approach, I try to think of witty, engaging things to say to a man I so deeply admire. I consider various inscriptions I will request. I dicker with my camera settings, and all I can think of is “Don’t blow the photo. Seriously, do NOT blow this photo.”

6:28 pm At last, we are meeting Cmdr Hadfield. He shakes hands with the boys, scrawls his name on the book, and smiles at me. I say, with the wisdom of the lifelong wordsmith, “Wow, it is so great to meet you. Thank you, for – well, everything!” I’m sure I made a memorable impact on him with that, yes?

7:32 pm Back at home, after we walking the dog and taking a brief and unenthusiastic stab at a few of the things we should have been doing instead of stalking an astronaut in Costco, I tweet a copy of this photo to Tristan’s teacher, telling her he had a pretty good excuse for not doing his homework tonight. She agrees!

Worth every minute!!

Astronaut in aisle 3

In which she has to re-evaluate her entire parenting philosophy

I recently had one of those moments that make you completely rethink everything you’re doing as a parent. Like most world-shaking insights, it was innocuous in its beginnings.

Tristan and I were standing in line at Pet Smart, buying dog food. There’s a Bulk Barn next door, and I’d wanted to pick up a few of Beloved’s favourite candies for him. Time was getting tight, so I contemplated sending Tristan over to Bulk Barn to pick up the candies while I waited in the longish queue for dog food. I was fairly confident he would be able to complete the transaction without any trouble, but I realized as I was pulling a twenty out of my wallet that he might never have gone in to a store to buy something by himself before.

I actually paused in surprise. Could that be possible? Has my eleven-and-a-half year old son never actually been in to a store by himself before? So I explained what I wanted him to do and asked him if he wanted to do it. Ever agreeable, he said, “Sure!” and off he went.

I was done in my queue before he was done in Bulk Barn, so I stood outside between the stores, wanting him to complete the entire transaction by himself. He came out clutching the bag of candy in one hand and my balled-up change and receipt in the other.

I thanked him, then asked if he had ever been in a store by himself before. “Um, nope, I don’t think so.”

I was gobsmacked. How has this happened? Me, who espouses a parenting philosophy of trust until proven otherwise and benign neglect and argues against coddling kids at every turn? I am all about the free-range kids, about letting them walk home from school by themselves and play outside by themselves and letting them earn trust and independence. I’m the mom who was mortified to send a child out to walk over to a friend’s house for a playdate, only to have the other parent walk my child back to the house afterward. How is it possible that a child of mine is almost a teenager and has never been in a store to buy something without a parent or grandparent with him?

My understanding of myself as a parent is seriously compromised here.

Going to the corner store was a huge part of my childhood. I was probably four, maybe five, when I started. It was all of a three block walk, but it was a hella busy road, and we moved when I was six so I know I was doing it before I hit the first grade. I can clearly remember being eight or nine and getting an allowance of 25c. I had to budget two weeks of allowance to accommodate the tax on my favourite treat, a 25c bag of chips. (Remember, the foil and paper ones ones you could split down the fold in the side?) And let’s not even talk about all the times I wandered down to pick up some smokes for my parents. Hey, it was the 1970s, none of us knew any better. And I couldn’t have been much older than 10 or 11 when I walked from my Granny’s house to Kmart on my own for the first time.

I was talking to Beloved about my utter shock at this realization, but he was less perturbed than me. “The store is pretty far from our house, and you hate walking down Bridge Street even when you’re with them because of all those trucks and the traffic. You’d never let him go alone.” It’s true, the traffic on Bridge St gives me a stomach ache, and there’s no stores on the island, but still!

photograph of a boy walking a dog

(I suppose it’s a good thing that I don’t have any pictures of my kids walking by themselves in traffic to illustrate this post, right?)

It makes me sad that so many of the experiences that shaped my childhood will never happen for the boys. I can’t get over the fact that he’s almost a teenager and he’s never been to the store by himself. When I was not much older than him I was taking the bus downtown to check out the book and music stores. There isn’t much in the way of public transit out here either, which makes me wonder whether he’ll be in his thirties by the time he makes it downtown on his own. I’m only being a little bit sarcastic.

Is this just the norm for kids now, or did I miss some essential parenting here?

And you thought the time she enrolled the boys in dance camp was bad…

I was pleased with our choices around summer camp this year. When I was too slow to catch spots in the local city-organized camp in Manotick, I was forced to look for a camp outside the neighbourhood and came across some arts camps I thought would be of interest. Simon chose drama camp and Tristan chose painting camp. The camps were a little more expensive than the general-interest ones, but the boys were enthusiastic about the subjects and we managed to stretch the budget a bit for the sake of camps that hit the sweet spot of engaging content and easy access for pick-up and delivery. And, ahem, availability at the last minute. Procrastination FTW!

Early last week, we got a call saying Tristan’s camp had been cancelled due to low enrolment. I was ticked. IMHO a camp offered by the city should be subsidized well enough that it goes ahead regardless of low enrolment, but apparently the city feels differently. After a bit of scrambling, and a bit of whinging, and some kind offers of assistance from some lovely peeps on Twitter, we decided to enroll Tristan in the drama camp with Simon. If you know the boys, you know this is a bit of a stretch, but there is something to be said for convenience and staving off last-minute panic. Besides, it was only for a week.

That would be summer camp fail #1.

This morning, Beloved was rather disgruntled when he called me from the parking lot of the Nepean Sportsplex. For some reason, I had blindly assumed that the Nepean Creative Arts Centre was the same as the Nepean Visual Arts Centre. Aside from the one word difference in their titles, there is one other key difference between these two facilities: the latter is in the Nepean Sportsplex, which is on Beloved’s way to and from work, and the former is in Bells Corners, 20 minutes west of there. Guess which one houses the boys’ drama camp?

That would be summer camp fail #2.

So about half an hour after that I heard from Beloved again, who was now more agitated than ever after dropping the boys off in Bells Corners 15 minutes late for their first day. Poor Tristan took one look at the room full of his fellow campers and wanted to turn tail and run. In a room full of their fellow campers, Tristan and Simon were the only boys. And, just for maximum discomfort, it looks like all of the girls are younger than they are.

That would be summer camp fail #3.

Sigh. Remember that time I accidentally enrolled the boys in dance camp? I never thought that accidentally enrolling them in dance camp would be one of the BETTER camp choices I’d made. I’m so sorry, boys.

photo of kids at summer camp

Seriously! Who has this much trouble registering their kids in an appropriate summer camp? All it needed to be was convenient (fail), affordable (fail) and not make the boys feel awkward and miserable (fail).

Clearly, someone needs to relieve me of my duties as chief camp organizers. At this rate, next summer I’ll have them enrolled in a fashionista camp in Carleton Place.

On the plus side, all these blog posts will make for an easy-to-follow trail of evidence for the boys’ future therapists. And I can probably use this to coerce them into good behaviour for most of the school year. “If you don’t quit it, I’ll enroll you in summer camp again next year and you never know what I’ll come up with this time!”

And hey, this whole fiasco has inspired a what I think is a great new tagline for the blog. “Parenting by misadventure.” Yep, that about sums it up.

In which the boys launch their movie careers at the Apple Store (alternate title: more free family fun this summer!)

This is a shameless but absolutely unsponsored plug for a great summer activity for kids aged 8 to 12. It was Beloved who noticed the ad for free kids’ camp on the Apple.ca website a few weeks ago. I think it’s a bit of a stretch to call it “camp” as the sessions are only 90 minutes over three days, but if you are looking for an amazing free (did I mention free?!) summer activity for your preteen kids, check this out!

At Apple Camp, kids ages 8-12 learn how to shoot their own footage, create an original song in GarageBand on an iPad, and put it all together in iMovie on a Mac. This free workshop, held at Apple Retail Stores, spans three days and ends with campers debuting their masterpieces at the Apple Camp Film Festival.

Tristan and Simon attended the one in the Rideau Centre this past week and they had a blast. I was highly impressed with both the idea and the execution. (Those Apple people are pretty clever – offer free and excellent workshops for kids, using Apple products natch, and require the parents to remain onsite throughout the workshop. But they were content to let me work away on my Blackberry and iPhone and stack of paperwork I’d brought along while the kids attended the camp.)

The kids learned to conceptualize and lay out a storyboard, and then use the Garage Band app to lay out a soundtrack. They were on their own to film up to a minute of footage overnight, and then they used iMovie to put it all together during the second session. (The third session, a “film festival” of all participants, is this Saturday, and we’re just skipping that part.)

They didn’t need to bring any equipment of their own, although they both brought their own iPods and used them to capture the raw footage. You don’t need any Apple devices to attend the workshop, but be prepared to covet one if you don’t have one. We had iMovie for the iPods already (annoyingly not the same as the iPad version Tristan had used with a friend to make movie trailers a few weeks ago) and although I have Garage Band for my Macbook it is apparently not the same Garage Band as the one for the iPad. (Which we had to download because it is a wicked cool app, so we were in for $5 by the time the dust settled.) That’s my only complaint about the whole process – the difference in apps across devices confused the heck out of me. But that’s an Apple problem, not a workshop problem.

The toughest part was actually coming up with the concept. (Isn’t it always?) The final footage bore little to no resemblance to the storyboards, and the soundtrack Simon created on day one was with an action movie in mind, although his final product was a commercial. (More about the product featured in his commercial in my next post – and stand by for an awesome giveaway!)

Curious? Here’s the final cut!

First up, Agent Meow: score, direction, inspiration, filming and editing done by Tristan with props (and apologies) to Henry Mancini:

And this is Simon’s masterpiece, featuring the Zoku shake and slushie maker from Mastermind Toys (watch for a blogger cameo!):

Not bad for a couple of hours, eh? I think they did a great job and I know they had a great time. In addition to the experience, they got free t-shirts, USB wrist bands and iron-on patches. For FREE! Mad props to the Apple store for this program.

It looks like they’re offering more workshops at the Rideau Centre and Bayshore Apple stores the last week of July – check with Apple.ca for a location and date near you!

The one with the new treehouse

It was almost three years ago that we first saw this house. I joke now (in that joking sort of way that has more than a nugget of truth in it) that there was a spectacular porch that I adored, an amazing treehouse that enchanted Tristan from first sight, and oh yes, a very nice house in between them. About two years before that, Tristan had confided to his Granny that the dearest wish of his wee heart was a treehouse of his own.

The treehouse was in rough shape when we inherited it. The rope ladder was a little tough for Simon and impossible for then two-year-old Lucas to climb. In fact, I’m pretty Lucas never actually set foot in the treehouse. I was up there a few times, but it didn’t feel terribly safe to me. It was made of plyboard and had begun to cant at an awkward angle. For the first year or so, we encouraged the kids to go up in it only one or two kids at a time, but by last summer it was clearly not safe enough for even one 50 lbs kid, and we banned them from climbing into it entirely when the plyboard floor began to rot through.

Dawn on the first day of spring

It’s a sort of a kid paradise in the backyard, with an enormous play structure, a swinging rope and a tire swing, which took away the sting from a treehouse you could see but not use. But this spring we noticed the playstructure too had drifted away from “weathered” and toward “rotting” in more places than one. Last year we replaced the swing set portion, but it was clear that the rest of it was deteriorating quickly. Beloved and I decided to act on our idle year-old plan of getting a quote from someone to get them fixed up.

A friend of a friend, and conveniently someone from our local school community, came out in June and took a look at the treehouse and playstructure with an eye to rehabilitating one or the other. The prognosis was grim. Neither could be fixed – they’d have to be razed and rebuilt. The playstructure would have probably come in around $5k to $6k to replicate (have you seen the insane prices on these things??) and about a fifth of that to rebuild the treehouse.

If you follow me on any other social media, you might have seen some vaguebooking status updates as Beloved and I debated the merits of trying to do the job ourselves or hire a competent professional. For perhaps the 300th time since we moved into this house of love and ongoing challenges, I wished Beloved or I were handy folk. Alas, no hero stepped forth to rescue us from our treehouse dilemma (hey, sometimes you just gotta ask!) and Beloved and I were left to our own devices. I’m pretty sure we *could* have adapted the plan put together by the contractor and built something that vaguely resembled a treehouse, but the more I thought of my children, and the neighbourhood children, to say nothing of the children I am occasionally paid to photograph, being suspended five feet off the ground on something Beloved and I built? Let’s just say I lost a little bit of sleep over this one. And it seemed like a crappy thing to do, accepting a quote and then filching the plan. But oh how I agonized over it all.

The day we finally decided that we’d rather invest in the treehouse than in some of the other home repair jobs that also desperately need some attention (and money!) around the house, I actually cried a little bit. I didn’t realize until we decided to go ahead with the project how badly I wanted to do this for the boys. There’s not much of a playground culture here in Manotick, and I love the idea of having the kind of yard where neighbourhood kids can play. And Tristan is 11 years old now – his treehouse years will soon be behind him. (Although Beloved said something about future girlfriends and the treehouse which I will judiciously choose to ignore.) I imagined it as a lure away from those infernal screens they all adore – but wouldn’t you know it, the household wifi reaches all the way to the treehouse! Mostly, though, I just wanted a safe place for them to play, to climb and invent and adventure and be boys.

With a little help from Mother Nature (thank you for two dry days in a row!) and our amazing treehouse building husband-and-wife team, this happened before our very eyes:

New treehouse

New treehouse-2

And apparently it’s good for kids of all sizes:

New treehouse-3

We love it. LOVE it! It’s safe and built with clear attention to detail, it’s big enough to support a handful of kids, it’s easy for even wee Lucas to get up and down by himself, and I can conveniently see what shenanigans might be going on through the rails. 😉 We decided to go with independent supports so we didn’t have to rely on the weed maple for structural integrity. I can imagine things like a rod for puppet-theatre curtains on the underside or perhaps a little clubhouse with benches — after all, I’m not averse to building my handy skills on things that are not suspended five feet off the ground! The only downside is that I lost access to a favourite tree limb for posing families during porch portraits but can imagine a whole new world of possibilities for my outdoor “studio” now.

After what seems like endless dithering and angst, I can only wonder why we didn’t do this sooner. Best! Treehouse! Ever!!

National We Day in Ottawa: One mother’s perspective

I am about a quarter of a century older than the demographic that We Day seeks to motivate and inspire, but it would have been impossible to attend yesterday’s amazing national We Day event in Ottawa and not leave feeling like you can change the world. As much as the day’s events spoke to my inner 15 year old girl (who is, truth be told, never very far from the surface) I found myself considering the We Day messages and speakers through a maternal lens.

If you follow me on Twitter or Facebook, you know it was a very exciting day for Tristan, Simon and me. Together with a few other blogger families, we were invited to cover the event and given media access to some of the celebrity activists and supporters thanks to TELUS. Through a partnership with Free The Children, TELUS is helping to inspire young leaders and build a community of young people dedicated to positive social change. High on my list of “best parenting moments ever” is watching Tristan pose a question to Free the Children founder Craig Kielburger himself – which I will let HIM tell you about in a separate post. But here’s a shaky shot of my boys patiently waiting their turn in the media line.

Waiting to meet Craig Kielburger at National We Day!!

If you missed my earlier post (and endless Facebook and Twitter updates yesterday) you might be wondering what exactly this We Day thing is all about.

Free The Children is the world’s largest network of children helping children, with more than one million youth in 45 countries involved in their innovative education and development programs. Through domestic programs they educate, engage and empower hundreds of thousands of youth in North America, the UK and around the world. Their international projects have brought over 650 schools and school rooms to youth and provided clean water, health care and sanitation to one million people around the world.

I’ve loosely followed Craig’s story and his Free the Children movement in the media for years. I knew they did charitable and educational work, and I knew through the We Day programs at the boys’ school that one of their primary goals was motivating young people to “Be the Change” in their world. The subtext I missed before attending the National We Day event, though, was how that empowerment works on an individual level. Yes, it’s about providing clean water for Ghana and schools for girls in Africa – but it’s also about having the courage to speak up on behalf of a classmate, about making small but meaningful choices for a better world, about having the courage to know yourself and be true to yourself. Powerful stuff for a pre-teen audience – but truly, who needs that message more than students at this complicated age? And what better way to reach them than through a rocking event with 5000 screaming peers?

#weday behind the screens. HUGE crowd! #telusforweday

I think I personally was most touched by the story of Spencer West. His legs were amputated below the pelvis when he was five years old. I keep trying to imagine what that must have been like for his family, thinking about my own five year old boy. Clearly, Spencer overcame unimaginable odds stacked against him, and in 2012 he climbed Africa’s Mount Kilimanjaro – on his hands.

National We Day in Ottawa - Spencer West

We had the chance to chat with Spencer during the media scrum, and I wish I could have talked to him for about three more hours. This quote was one of my favourites of the day:

Here’s a couple more vignettes from the day.

Most of the Grade 6 class from the boys’ school earned tickets to We Day through their actions on a local and global level. Through one initiative, the school raised more than 170,000 pennies when the Mint announced the penny phase-out earlier this year. For their efforts, they earned a shout-out from Craig Kielburger during a pre-show interview on CBC Ottawa Morning and a moment in the spotlight during the show itself. I’m just glad I had my camera in my hand already! I was so proud of them. 🙂

National We Day in Ottawa - St Leonard shout-out

Perhaps one of the biggest celebrities present was actor and activist Martin Sheen. I have to tell you, I was pretty excited at the possibility of meeting him, having never missed an episode of the West Wing. We were standing in the corner, more or less trying to stay out of the way but still have a good sightline to where he would be answering questions, when Martin Sheen “snuck” into the room.

OMG just had a lovely chat with Martin Sheen and my boys. #weday #telusforweday

He was supposed to go to the backdrop and start answering media questions, but to everyone’s surprise – most spectacularly, my own! – he walked straight up to me with his hand out for a handshake and introduced himself. He asked me “Who are you here with?” and so of course I introduced him to Tristan and Simon. I’m not sure that’s what he meant by the question, but he seemed delighted with the answer and went on to chat with them about how wonderful the day was and whether they were enjoying themselves.

Eventually, they got him to where he was supposed to be answering questions (after he stopped to chat with a few more people on the way) and he said the other quote that resonated deeply with me for the day:

National We Day in Ottawa - Martin Sheen

One of my favourite moments of the day was watching his “handlers” try to get him out of the media room and back to where he was supposed to be getting ready to deliver his address to the crowd. Despite their best intentions to move him along, he kept shaking them off and stopping to chat with anyone who looked like they were under the age of 25 about why they were there and what they were doing. It was truly delightful and more than a little bit funny. Hey, when you’ve been POTUS I guess you prefer to decide when and where you are going.

I was also please to find out that I’m not as much of a dinosaur as I might have thought. While I only recongized one or two of the musical acts by name, I was delighted to find out that I did in fact know the songs, if not the bands. In fact, the boys and I agreed that we’ll have to add a little Shawn Desman and Kardinal Offishall’s Turn it Up to our iTunes collections. This was Kardinal Offishall Turning it UP for the big finale at We Day:

National We Day in Ottawa - Turn it UP!

There was so much more – environmental messages in Rob Stewart’s Revolution (click through and watch the trailer!), organ transplant messages from Ottawa’s own Hélène Campbell, a voice from Canada’s northern people and a reminder that Canada is taller than it is wide from Inuit speaker Terry Aulda, anti-bullying messages from visually-impaired teen Molly Burke, RBC’s ONE DROP initiative – the single resonating theme of the day was that there are a myriad ways in which a single person can make a difference, and that a seemingly small action can have enormous and occasionally unexpected effects.

The definition of “changing the world” has changed for this generation, for the children we are raising today. When I was a child, it meant that you grew up to be an activist or someone in a position of power, or you were one of those extraordinary young people like Craig Kielburger himself, who drew global attention to a cause he was passionate about. What I’m realizing is what our kids seem to know intuitively, and what We Day is promoting: you don’t need a megaphone to make a difference, and you don’t need to be famous or powerful or have a lot of resources behind you. Social justice isn’t about petitioning on Parliament Hill and letter-writing campaigns, it’s about the choices you make and the way you live your life every single day.

Choose organic and local produce. Choose to hold a door for someone rather than let it slam. Choose to donate a bag of used toys to charity rather than dump them in the trash. Choose to spend 20 minutes of your time promoting a cause rather than playing a video game. Choose to turn off the tap while you brush your teeth and turn off the lights when you leave the room. Choose to speak up to defend someone rather than stand mutely by and watch bullying happen. Like the pennies collected by the boys’ school, each small act on it’s own may seem so insignificant as to be worthless. However, when you start stacking them by the thousands and hundreds of thousands, they have unmistakable, undeniable worth and value.

Also? It was a really fun day.

National We Day in Ottawa - meeting Craig Kielburger!

A hell of a day, in fact, don’t you think? But wait, there’s more! Stand by, the boys want to tell you about We Day from their perspective next. 🙂