Annual leaf rake-up, Bag 1
What a gorgeous day to be outside. Yanno, I really don’t mind raking up the leaves. I rarely have an excuse to come out and enjoy the yard this time of year, and it will be a long cold winter. It’s nice to be able to get out and do a bit of raking. I’m sure if I break the task down over a couple of days, it won’t seem like much of a burden. Such a small price to pay for having so many big trees on our property, and great exercise, too! *whistles a happy raking tune*
Annual leaf rake-up, Bag 4
Okay, seriously? Where are all the oak leaves coming from? We don’t even have an oak tree!!
Annual leaf rake-up, Bag 7
Wow, I’ve already filled seven bags and I’ve barely moved out of this corner of the front yard. Maybe I’d better recruit the boys to give me a hand.
Annual leaf rake-up, Bag 6
“Boys! Did you just dump that bag so you could jump in the leaf pile?!”
Annual leaf rake-up, Bag 10
Man, I am going to write a brilliantly witty blog post as soon as I get my hands on the computer. I’m sure I’ll be able to remember these great ideas later!
Annual leaf rake-up, Bag 11
What was that brilliantly witty idea I had again?
Annual leaf rake-up, Bag 12
This is exhausting. Maybe I should try the electric leaf-blow/suck thing my parents brought over.
[45 sweaty minutes later, still bag 12]
Annual leaf rake-up, Bag 14
Note to self: next year, try to cut the lawn at least once in September or October. This is less like raking leaves and more like combing out tangles in places.
Annual leaf rake-up, Bag 19
Dear Mother Nature, why why oh WHY did you think it was a good idea to make the dead birch leaves look SO MUCH like dog poop? Really, was that necessary?
Annual leaf rake-up, Bag 23
I think I’m starting to lose the feeling in my fingers. Also, I think the squirrels are mocking me.
Annual leaf rake-up, Bag 25
Sweet farking Jebesus, will I never be finished raking these leaves? This is like Sisyphus meets Groundhog Day with leaves…
Annual leaf rake-up, Bag 28
YOU! Silver maple in the corner! Drop yer goddam leaves already!! I’m not doing this again next week.
Annual leaf rake-up, Bag 30
You know what I really love? I love it when the half-full bag collapses just when you’re inserting a gigantic load of leaves and it tips and spills not only what you’ve got on your rake but the leaves that were already in the bag because I’ve got nothing else to do except rake and since I’m raking I would really love to rake the same leaves more than once…
Annual leaf rake-up, Bag 31
I’ve now lost all feeling up to my shoulders and can’t get the taste of pine needles out of my mouth. My hands are contorted, perhaps permanently, into rake-shaped claws. And still, I rake. And rake. And rake.
Annual leaf rake-up, Bag 33
I see you, fancy neighbour with the fancy leaf-sucking tractor. Oh yes, I see you, don’t think I don’t, sitting high on your pretty little tractor with your jaunty little hat and NOT RAKING UP YOUR LEAVES AT ALL.
Annual leaf rake-up, Bag 36
Stupid trees. Stupid leafs. Stupid semi-rural stupid countryside. That’s it, we’re moving into a condo downtown next week.
Annual leaf rake-up, Bag 39
“What do you mean ‘what am I doing?’ What does it look like I’m doing? I’m duct-taping this flashlight to my rake. It’s getting too dark to see and I’m not done yet. I can’t stop now, there are MORE LEAVES TO RAKE. MUST RAKE LEAVES. WHAT DO YOU MEAN I SHOULD STEP AWAY FROM THE RAKE?!?!?”
Final tallies for 2012:
Number of bags filled: 47
Number of canisters filled (mostly with twigs): 4
Number of rake-hours invested across the family: 17
Number of rake-hours invested by me personally: 12
Number of times I hit myself in the head with a rake: 6
Number of rakes destroyed: 1
Number of blisters and bruises on my hands despite wearing garden gloves: 4
Number of witty blog posts composed in my head while raking: 7
Number of witty blog posts actually written: I’ll leaf it to you to decide
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