In which she decides that maybe she doesn’t like living in the countryside so much after all

by DaniGirl on November 13, 2012 · 7 comments

in Life, the Universe and Everything,Postcards from Manotick

Annual leaf rake-up, Bag 1

What a gorgeous day to be outside. Yanno, I really don’t mind raking up the leaves. I rarely have an excuse to come out and enjoy the yard this time of year, and it will be a long cold winter. It’s nice to be able to get out and do a bit of raking. I’m sure if I break the task down over a couple of days, it won’t seem like much of a burden. Such a small price to pay for having so many big trees on our property, and great exercise, too! *whistles a happy raking tune*

Annual leaf rake-up, Bag 4

Okay, seriously? Where are all the oak leaves coming from? We don’t even have an oak tree!!

Annual leaf rake-up, Bag 7

Wow, I’ve already filled seven bags and I’ve barely moved out of this corner of the front yard. Maybe I’d better recruit the boys to give me a hand.

Annual leaf rake-up, Bag 6

“Boys! Did you just dump that bag so you could jump in the leaf pile?!”

Annual leaf rake-up, Bag 10

Man, I am going to write a brilliantly witty blog post as soon as I get my hands on the computer. I’m sure I’ll be able to remember these great ideas later!

Annual leaf rake-up, Bag 11

What was that brilliantly witty idea I had again?

Annual leaf rake-up, Bag 12

This is exhausting. Maybe I should try the electric leaf-blow/suck thing my parents brought over.

[45 sweaty minutes later, still bag 12]

Never mind.

Annual leaf rake-up, Bag 14

Note to self: next year, try to cut the lawn at least once in September or October. This is less like raking leaves and more like combing out tangles in places.

Annual leaf rake-up, Bag 19

Dear Mother Nature, why why oh WHY did you think it was a good idea to make the dead birch leaves look SO MUCH like dog poop? Really, was that necessary?

Annual leaf rake-up, Bag 23

I think I’m starting to lose the feeling in my fingers. Also, I think the squirrels are mocking me.

Annual leaf rake-up, Bag 25

Sweet farking Jebesus, will I never be finished raking these leaves? This is like Sisyphus meets Groundhog Day with leaves…

Annual leaf rake-up, Bag 28

YOU! Silver maple in the corner! Drop yer goddam leaves already!! I’m not doing this again next week.

Annual leaf rake-up, Bag 30

You know what I really love? I love it when the half-full bag collapses just when you’re inserting a gigantic load of leaves and it tips and spills not only what you’ve got on your rake but the leaves that were already in the bag because I’ve got nothing else to do except rake and since I’m raking I would really love to rake the same leaves more than once…

Annual leaf rake-up, Bag 31

I’ve now lost all feeling up to my shoulders and can’t get the taste of pine needles out of my mouth. My hands are contorted, perhaps permanently, into rake-shaped claws. And still, I rake. And rake. And rake.

Annual leaf rake-up, Bag 33

I see you, fancy neighbour with the fancy leaf-sucking tractor. Oh yes, I see you, don’t think I don’t, sitting high on your pretty little tractor with your jaunty little hat and NOT RAKING UP YOUR LEAVES AT ALL.

Annual leaf rake-up, Bag 36

Stupid trees. Stupid leafs. Stupid semi-rural stupid countryside. That’s it, we’re moving into a condo downtown next week.

Annual leaf rake-up, Bag 39

“What do you mean ‘what am I doing?’ What does it look like I’m doing? I’m duct-taping this flashlight to my rake. It’s getting too dark to see and I’m not done yet. I can’t stop now, there are MORE LEAVES TO RAKE. MUST RAKE LEAVES. WHAT DO YOU MEAN I SHOULD STEP AWAY FROM THE RAKE?!?!?”

Final tallies for 2012:

Number of bags filled: 47
Number of canisters filled (mostly with twigs): 4
Number of rake-hours invested across the family: 17
Number of rake-hours invested by me personally: 12
Number of times I hit myself in the head with a rake: 6
Number of rakes destroyed: 1
Number of blisters and bruises on my hands despite wearing garden gloves: 4
Number of witty blog posts composed in my head while raking: 7
Number of witty blog posts actually written: I’ll leaf it to you to decide


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{ 7 comments… read them below or add one }

1 Danielle November 13, 2012 at 2:45 pm

Ha! I feel your pain. We live in an older neighborhood and there are leaves everywhere right now. Thankfully though, we have leaf pick up in our area so we only have to rake them to the curb – we don’t have to bag them. If we did, I can’t even imagine what we’d do. I’m just waiting now for the last few to fall so I can clean them out of the gutters.

2 Coffee with Julie November 13, 2012 at 2:47 pm

haha!! (I’m not laughing at your expense really … the post, the witty writing! …. i swear!)

3 Josée November 13, 2012 at 3:03 pm

Those squirrels were absolutely mocking you. :) Our inner-city squirrels destroyed our pumpkins at Halloween and ate the feet of our stuffed Dracula. They tried to drag him down the driveway to munch on the rest of him in peace. Watch out for the squirrels- they are fierce!

4 Erin Marshall November 13, 2012 at 6:37 pm

This is a particularly witty, clever and humourous treatment.
Thanks for bringing a smile to my face on this particularly disappointing day.

5 Elise November 14, 2012 at 6:16 pm

You made us laugh with a witty post so.goal is achieved.

But 17 hours? My, that’s really a lot of leaves!

6 Valerie November 16, 2012 at 2:14 pm

>Okay, seriously? Where are all the oak leaves coming from? We don’t even have an oak tree!!<

LOL – this is exactly what I was thinking as I raked – remnants of Sandy, I think. You win this year – our family only came up with about 30 bags/bins this year, though I have to admit, Sandy seemed to have shaved off the top layer or two. I doubt our neighbours were pleased. ;)

We also spread it out over about 3 weekends – glad the snow hasn't come yet! You're just a bit obsessed, eh, to do it all at once? ;) I bet that's when you got that great geese shot.

7 Sara November 21, 2012 at 9:43 pm

This is the EXACT reason why we just let the leaves shrivel up and die instead of raking them.

That and I am too lazy.

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