Mother and child reunion

by DaniGirl on February 3, 2009 · 17 comments

in Working and mothering

I step quietly into the house, not consciously intending to spy on the boys or the new nanny, but knowing that they aren’t expecting me home quite so early. I hear laughter, and realize while expelling a sigh that I’ve been holding my breath with dread. It’s the end of my long first day back at work after my maternity leave, and I’m not sure what to expect.

I don’t want to make a big deal of rushing into the house and freaking Lucas out any more than I have to, so I slip off my coat and walk with affected nonchalance into the living room, tossing affectionate greetings to Tristan and Simon as I beeline toward the baby. He’s been playing happily on the floor with his toys, and my anxiety lessens considerably at seeing him so content.

I expect some form of reaction; I’ve never been apart from him for this many waking hours, and on the occasions when I have left him in the child-minding area at the gym, he has cried harder upon my return than he did in my absence. I brace myself and pause to let him absorb my presence before I sweep him into my arms. He beams in delight when he realizes I have returned, and when I pick him up he melds his body into mine. He engulfs me in his baby version of a bear hug, his arms and legs clinging so tightly that I’m sure if I let go he would hang suspended from my side like a baby chimpanzee clings to its mother as she swings from branch to branch. He lays his head on my shoulder, tucking it under my chin as if he’ll never move away again, and I can feel his relief at my return radiating from him. His perfect stillness as he wraps his body into mine takes my breath away, and I am surprised to feel the rush of tears welling in my throat.

He has never hugged me like this before, and I can do nothing but stand and sway with him in my arms, caught in this breathless moment of love and relief. He’s okay. I’m okay. We’ll all be fine.


{ 17 comments… read them below or add one }

1 mrsgryphon February 3, 2009 at 8:10 pm

*sniff*… oh, those hugs are the BEST. Glad everyone was happy and that you’re all doing okay with the transition!

2 Kerry February 3, 2009 at 8:12 pm

oh Dani… you sure do know how to wreck me.

3 Kathleen February 3, 2009 at 8:17 pm

So glad I didn’t read this at work. SNIFFLE.
Oh, those hugs!
Hope back to work and all is going fabulously.

4 Marla February 3, 2009 at 8:28 pm

AWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWW!

5 Madeleine February 3, 2009 at 9:26 pm

Sniff from me too!

6 Anonymous February 3, 2009 at 9:28 pm

nothing is harder than this as a mom. Trust your instincts. You know this will make the family a better place to be. Or kill you in the interim. 🙂

7 Fawn February 4, 2009 at 12:16 am

*crying*

8 kgirl February 4, 2009 at 9:45 am

Totally cried reading this. I know that hug – it makes your heart swell huge, and then it makes your heart break.

Relief to hear your first day went well.

9 trixie February 4, 2009 at 10:21 am

Oh, that’s the hardest kind of huge happiness to bear …

10 yvonne February 4, 2009 at 10:26 am

apparently I am the anonymous one. Not sure how that happened.

11 Renee February 4, 2009 at 10:41 am

Oh gosh, Dani, I know that feeling so well. There’s nothing better. Glad you got thru the first day.

12 suze February 4, 2009 at 12:05 pm

awwww. that sounds like the best hug ever.

13 ewe_are_here February 4, 2009 at 4:00 pm

Awwww… those bear hugs, how I love them.

Glad you made it through your first day

14 colleen February 4, 2009 at 5:04 pm

Try commenting through the tears….lovely post.

15 Chantal February 4, 2009 at 9:14 pm

Now I am crying too. I could just feel that hug. Your description was perfection.

16 Mac and Cheese February 5, 2009 at 9:38 am

I know how difficult it is to go back. Glad you got your deserved hug.

17 Loukia February 6, 2009 at 2:05 pm

Beautiful post, Dani… going back to work is not easy, and walking through the door after a long day in the office, and seeing the smile from your baby is the most amazing thing ever! I love coming home now and having baby run into my arms… sigh!

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