I swear that’s not what his birth certificate says

I’m feeding Lucas and Tristan is in the kitchen colouring, out of sight but not earshot around the corner. Simon is engaged in some sort of imaginary play that involves a lot of talking. I can hear him stumbling over an idea.

Simon: Mommy!

Me: Yes, Simon?

Simon: What’s my second name?

Me: Francis.

Simon: No, my other second name.

I tell him his hyphenated surname. The boys get the order of their names confused, and Tristan will often say his first name, his surname and then his middle name.

Simon, obviously frustrated: No, no, my other name.

I’m still puzzling this one out when Tristan calls from the kitchen. “You mean numbskull?”

Simon, pleased: Yeah, numbskull. Thanks, Tristan!

And off he goes to play.

I swear, it wasn’t me. I have no idea where he got this one from (looks pointedly at Beloved) but I can honestly say this one wasn’t my doing…

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