I’m getting a little worried. I’m only six months (technically, 27 and a half weeks) pregnant, and by all accounts, I’m friggin’ huge. No, really? Huge. Huge, like people ask me when I’m due and when I say “February” they go through this disbelief-shock-pity series of expressions and ask me if I’m sure there’s only one in there. Like, my own postal code huge. Like, I’ll soon have a gravitational pull equivalent to Pluto huge.
No doubt, my inherent lack of willpower has been a contributing factor, as has been my willingness to play fast and loose with the definition of “good nutrition.” And the fact that while I didn’t suffer overt morning sickness, I did feel like crap on toast for the first four months of this pregnancy, during which time I heavily self-medicated with my twin addictions to Coke Classic and potato chips. On the good side, I’ve compensated by continuing my weekly visits to the gym; on the bad side, a rather painful recurrence of my latent patello-femoral syndrome (translation: ouchy knee) has made me more sedentary than I would otherwise been.
All that to say, I’m huge. Don’t believe me? Ask my regular evening commute bus driver. I really quite like him and the personable way he greets every passenger with a smile. Last week, he used that “lower the bus” thingee for what I thought was a person getting on behind me. The next day, when I was the only person at the stop, I realized he was lowering the bus FOR ME. Either he thought I was too big to haul my ass up the step, or he feared my extra weight might blow the tires if he didn’t release some pneumatic pressure to account for my extra bulk coming on board. No joke. Huge.
This morning, as you read this, I’ll be going for my gestational diabetes glucose test. No one-hour screening test for me, though. Due to two overt “risk factors” (the fact that I am prone to large babies in the first place, and our old friend “advanced maternal age”) I get to skip the screening test and go straight to the no-messing-around test. First I have to fast for eight hours – and right now you should be snickering, because the only thing more cranky than a pregnant woman is a pregnant woman on a fast, especially if that pregnant woman on a fast is ME – and then I have to go in for a blood draw, drink some sugary concoction with a strong resemblance to orange pop, and then hang around for two hours metabolizing it before they can take another blood sample. Fun times!!
So it will be well after 10 am before I can have any food – or, gasp! coffee – after having fasted since bedtime the night before. And what do you want to bet the boys will continue to not adapt to the lack of daylight savings, leaving me awake and with neither food nor caffeine in my system for up to five hours or more? Oh, the myriad joys of pregnancy. (And you know I wouldn’t trade it for the world!)
Ahem. Only three days left to vote – hint, hint.
G’luck on your OGTT! (I hope you studied hard for the test. *wink*)
It will be better once it snows – February won’t seem quite so far away, and the expressions of shock won’t be quite so pronounced.
I was huge. Definitely own postal code huge. I was due in July, so in March and April, when it was still cold (and I had no coats that would close over my enormous belly) people would just freeze in shock when they asked when I was due, expecting me to say “next week” and I mentioned July. “July first?” one grocery-store clerk asked hopefully. “July 20” was my crushing reply.
I failed the one-hour glucose too, but sailed through the three-hour. Pie was six days late, nine pounds seven ounces. But delivery was comparatively quick and easy – I didn’t even require stitches. It will be okay.
Yay! 27 weeks! I can’t believe they make us fast. What is that all about?! Hope you’re drinking coffee and scarfing down donuts soon!
Well, Pluto isn’t actually a planet anymore, if that makes you feel better…
Good luck with the glucose test. They’re awful. I think you’ll need to console/reward yourself afterwards with a Timmie’s stop on the way back to work.
I love the “disbelief-shock-pity series of expressions.” That’s a classic. Good luck on that glucose test.
I’m treating you to a pumpkin cocoa muffin. You deserve it!
(p.s. pregnancy looks good on you)
I drank that Orange Crush drink sooo fast time… I felt soo yucky after… good luck with your test! I was so happy to hear that my results were great, considering I have been eating like 10 mini chocolates a day for 2 months now! 😉
I am 8 months pregnant… (32 weeks) and feel ready to pop, too. Hang in there! It’s really not that far away, your due date. I’m massive, too.
My belly dance instructor was enormous pretty early on with her fourth baby. With two months to go she looked like she was seriously about to pop at any minute. I think it’s just the nature of the beast of subsequent pregnancies.
And as much as the fast sucks, it’s probably better to do the real test because the screening test results in a lot of a false positives (I seem to remember anyways) and you’d have to do the real thing anyways. I’m sure you’ll do great!
Yes, I had to take that nasty three-hour test as well. Blah. I had all I could do to keep from yakking the stuff up. Blah.
Hope it all went well.
That bit about the bus is the stuff that great comedies are made of. Thanks for the laugh.
I was so big with Julia I was asked on a regular basis if there were twins in there…I think even my own father asked me. *coughcoughassholecough*
I’m with M&C — I got a serious chuckle out of the bus-lowering bit.
Hugs
I hear you. i was soo BIG with Nathan every and I mean every one asked if I was having twins. And NO ONE Believed me when I said NO.
Coffee…Yummmm.
Ooooh, I hated drinking that melted orange popsicle concoction! Good luck with it.
I was also friggin huge both times. I think you get bigger faster with subsequent pregnancies. That is pretty funny about the bus platform, though. Sorry, but I thought that was hilarious!
Good luck…
Dani, I can so feel your pain. I just went through what you are going through. Not only was I getting close to matching my Dad’s weight and size, but it was increasingly more difficult to carry this big huge body with me. I got through it but barely. I hope your next three months go swift and smooth.
Aw, don’t worry about it. If light starts bending around you, then maybe there’ll be cause for concern…
Kidding. 27 1/2 weeks! Wow. With Christmas and all, the time will fly.
No, he didn’t! (the bus driver). That’s too funny. Well, maybe to me it is, not so much for you. 😉
I felt the same way though; you’re probably not nearly as big as you think.
Honey,
It’s just that you’ve already stretched out the plumbing. Still, how uncomfortable for you.