What’s that you say? You need to know even MORE inane and excruciating details about my exciting life?

James tagged me for this mammoth meme, and I couldn’t resist.

FOODOLOGY

Q. What is your salad dressing of choice?
A. Paul Newman’s Balsamic Vinagrette

Q. What is your favorite fast food restaurant?
A. Dairy Queen

Q. What is your favorite sit-down restaurant?
A. Lone Star Texas Grill – partly for the fajitas, partly because it’s a great restaurant for families

Q. On average, what size tip do you leave at a restaurant?
A. 15 – 20% – usually, the larger the bill the smaller the percentage

Q. What food could you eat every day for two weeks and not get sick of?
A. Chocolate chip oatmeal cookies

Q. What is your favorite type of gum?
A. Dentyne Ice peppermint

TECHNOLOGY

Q. What is your wallpaper on your computer?
A.

Q. How many televisions are in your house?
A. One that works, two more that collect dust and work capriciously only when we don’t want them to

BIOLOGY

Q. What’s your best feature?
A. Um – I’ve always liked my dimples. And I’m vain about my hair, though I’m not sure it’s my best feature.

Q. Have you ever had anything removed from your body?
A. Two massive boys (nine and ten pounds respectively) and a couple of teeth. Other than that, I don’t have any aftermarket alterations.

Q. Which of your five senses do you think is keenest?
A. I like James’ answer about a sixth sense – I think my mother-radar is the most finely honed of my senses.

Q. When was the last time you had a cavity?
A. I can rarely go a year without them. The only thing holding my teeth together is the fillings, crowns and caps. Lucky for us, Tristan has inherited my cavity-prone teeth. Sigh.

Q. What is the heaviest item you lifted last?
A. Tristan decided he needed to be carried upstairs to bed last night. That’s a good forty-plus pounds. The wheelbarrow I built yesterday probably weighed near that.

Q. Have you ever been knocked unconscious?
A. Only by drugs (the kind an anaestethiologist administers), not by concussion.

BULLSHITOLOGY

Q. If it were possible, would you want to know the day you were going to die?
A. Nope.

Q. Is love for real?
A. If love isn’t real, nothing is.

Q. If you could change your first name, what would you change it to?
A. I was about 11 when I started asking people to call me Dani. Now the only person left who calls me Danielle is my mom and I kind of miss it. (All this to say I seem to have more than enough names as it is.)

Q. What color do you think looks best on you?
A. Depends on the season, but I look good in bright colours like yellow, coral and orange. Navy blue and black are flattering, too,

Q. Have you ever swallowed a non-food item by mistake?
A. This seems like the kind of thing one would block from one’s memory.

Q. Have you ever saved someone’s life?
A. Not that I’m aware of.

Q. Has someone ever saved yours?
A. In a physical and literal sense, no. But there are many people I credit with shaping who I am or helping me choose one path or another which, to paraphrase Robert Frost, has made all the difference.

DAREOLOGY

Q. Would you walk naked for a half mile down a public street for $100,000?
A. Heck, I’d do it for $20. (How far is half a mile, anyway? A kilometer or so? Can I at least specify that it be during the summer?)

Q. Would you kiss a member of the same sex for $100?
A. I almost did it at a party a few years back just for the shock factor.

Q. Would you allow one of your little fingers to be cut off for $200,000?
A. Ick. No.

Q. Would you never blog again for $50,000?
A. I loved James’ answer to this: “No, but someday I might never blog again for free.” I don’t know what my answer to this question would be – but I don’t think I’m offensive enough as a blogger (yet) that someone would actually pay me to stop.

Q. Would you pose nude in a magazine for $250,000?
A. For a quarter-million? Could I at least have a feather boa?

Q. Would you drink an entire bottle of hot sauce for $1,000?
A. Gotta agree with James’ answer here: “Hell, I might do that just for the bottle of hot sauce.”

Q. Would you, without fear of punishment, take a human life for $1,000,000?
A. Of course not.

Q. Would you give up watching television for a year for $25,000?
A. That one would be painful. I’d do it, but I would get awfully twitchy after the first couple of days.

Q. Give up MySpace forever for $30,000?
A. Yes. Where’s my money? (Never actually been on MySpace. Now Facebook…. that’s a different matter.)

DUMBOLOGY

Q: What is in your left pocket?
A. It’s 7:30 on a Sunday morning and I’m wearing track pants. No pockets. Besides, most women’s clothing doesn’t allow for pockets, let alone pockets you can actually put stuff in.

Q: Is Napoleon Dynamite actually a good movie?
A. I haven’t seen it.

Q: Do you have hardwood or carpet in your house?
A. Carpet. Ugly faded blue carpet in every. single. room of the house that I hate with a burning passion. Stay tuned for the really tedious series of posts where we endlessly angst over installing laminate on the main floor and do absolutely nothing about it.

Q: Do you sit or stand in the shower?
A. Sitting is an option? That opens up a whole new world of choices, doesn’t it?

Q: Could you live with roommates?
A. Hell, I can barely share a room with my husband.

Q: How many pairs of flip-flops do you own?
A. Flip-flops are nasty. I absolutely cannot wear footwear that jams things between my toes. *shudder*

Q: Last time you had a run-in with the cops?
A. I got a ticket for an illegal right turn from Bank onto Slater about six years ago. (Livin’ on the edge, baby.)

Q: What do you want to be when you grow up?
A. Once again, I couldn’t improve on James’ answer: “This.”

LASTOLOGY

Q: Friend you talked to?
A. Went to an Ottawa blog chix night out last night with Andrea, Alison, Chantal and Alison. Good times!!

Q: Last person you called?
A. Er, um, ahhh – I have no idea. Oh wait, Lone Star last night to order takeout!

RANDOMOLOGY

Q: First place you went this morning?
A. The porch (to get the newspaper)

Q: What can you not wait to do?
A. Um, win a million dollars? I’m drawing a blank on this one.

Q: What’s the last movie you saw?
A. Cars. It’s babysitting the kids as I do this meme. I’m such a good mommy.

Q: Are you a friendly person?
A. Mostly.

Want to be tagged? Let me know and I’ll link back to you!

Edited to add: tagged – Loukia and Karen and ScatteredMom and Bex and Nancy!