Easy come, easy go

by DaniGirl on January 22, 2007 · 11 comments

in Working and mothering

I should have known it wouldn’t be so easy.

I posted an online classified ad about looking for daycare for the boys, and one of the first people to respond seemed, on paper at least, perfect. I know, nobody is perfect, but I had a hard time finding anything to complain about with this one. She is closer than my existing daycare, wants a maximum of three kids, and when we met in person, I liked her right away. We met for coffee a week ago Friday at Starbucks, and made arrangements to get the kids together to meet each other yesterday. She e-mailed me mid-week last week to ask if she could bring contracts to sign. I was so relieved and happy to have found someone I could trust, someone I genuinely liked, and someone who was conveniently located. It was all perfect – until I opened my e-mail Sunday morning and found out she crapped out on me.

She said she had only one space left as signed two other contracts, which must have happened after we met because she told me I was the first person she talked to, and she said that going to Tristan’s school would mess up the routine of the other kids too much.

I mean, whatever. If you don’t want my boys, I really don’t want them to be with you. I was – and, quite frankly, continue to be rather pissed. Mostly, though, I’m hugely disappointed. I only realized how deeply relieved I had been to have this taken care of when it came unravelled.

I do have a few positive thoughts. Luckily, I showed an amazing amount of restraint and didn’t say anything to our current caregiver. We had told the boys that some friends were coming over to play, but nothing about changing caregivers. And it has become more clear to me than ever that I’m not entirely satisfied with the daycare situation, and that it’s worth some extra attention to rectify it. At least now I know.

I’ve had a few other responses to my ad, but none worth pursing. Not, for example, the one who told me in her contact e-mail that she’s just subscribed to the Treehouse cable TV service, so the kids will always have something to watch. Nor the one who lives 15 km from my house in the opposite direction from downtown. Nor the one who stated emphatically, with at least a dozen spelling and grammar mistakes, that she would work only specific hours with no deviation, and would not charge less than a full-time rate for Tristan, even though he is in school part-time.

Sigh.


{ 11 comments… read them below or add one }

1 Sharon January 22, 2007 at 2:14 pm

Anything related to our children is going to take time and frustration to figure out and get it right almost perfect for them. Kudos to you for trying to get better care for your kids.
Hugs…I hope it works out soon Dani!

2 SC January 22, 2007 at 3:31 pm

Keep at it Dani! At least on the bright side of things your kids aren’t without care right now, and you do have time to figure things out and don’t have to be rushed into making a decision about who should look after your kids. I am sure the lady that “crapped out” on you will regret that she didn’t get your kids, she probably signed on two little hellians… and missed out on your two little angels (with a side of devil in them)!!!

3 Trixie January 22, 2007 at 5:14 pm

Have you considered checking in with Andrew Fleck to see who is registered as an at-home provider in your area? They have a slew of rules to follow (including maximum numbers: I’m gob-smacked by your current situation!) and they are subject to home visits to ensure compliance with standards, etc. They use a standard contract, and I’m not sure what kind of stipulations they have regarding half-days and school pick-up, but it could work out! We used an Andrew Fleck provider for Sam and Carter and loved her…

4 mad_hatter January 22, 2007 at 5:49 pm

Argh. The state of child care in this country is sickening. Out my way, the waiting lists for day care are 4 years long (not kidding), it is extremely rare to find part-time care, and no day care in town will accommodate my daughter’s vegetarianism. Change is definitely long overdue.
I hope that something suitable comes up soon.

5 Miss Vicky January 22, 2007 at 6:46 pm

That bites. I have just started my daycare search and I just know it’s going to be hellish.

6 Not So Little Sister January 22, 2007 at 9:26 pm

This is off the subject but in regards to one of your posts from last week. Here’s a link about over the top kid’s birthday parties. I thought you might find it interesting.
http://www.time.com/time/arts/article/0,8599,1581036,00.html?cnn=yes

7 twinmomplusone January 22, 2007 at 10:02 pm

tough quest
keep at it though, it’ll be worth it in teh end

8 Jen January 23, 2007 at 12:34 am

Oh man, our friends have just gone through a similar situation where their ideal caregiver bailed at the last minute. The good news is that they found someone even better. Some things are just meant to be, perhaps. but I know how fristrating it is when you are in the middle of it all.

9 alison January 23, 2007 at 1:45 pm

I’ve been really lucky with care-givers. When Leah was a year old and I went back to work, I found Janet. I found her through her ad in a community newspaper or pennysaver — one or the other. We hit it off and she was wonderful to Leah. We were with her until she had her third child and decided to concentrate on her own family.
Next we found Gina. We found her through an ad posted on the bulletin board at our local grocery store. She was much more structured than Janet, and as Leah was now 2 years old, it was ideal. She did a lot of crafts and flash cards etc. And, God love her, pretty well toilet-trained Leah for me. We left Gina when we moved from Ottawa to Carp and I had Rachel and was taking my year’s mat leave.
When that was over, both girls went to Sue, who lived down the street. I found Sue at the playground while I was on mat leave. We would talk while our children played, and I liked the way she interacted with both her own children and the ones she babysat.
When Sue got pregnant and decided to close her daycare, we found Darlene through word-of-mouth in the neighbourhood (we had been living there for almost 3 years and were part of the grapevine).
Now that doesn’t mean that we didn’t interview a whole bunch of babysitters that we found through community newspapers, ads on bulletin boards and through word-of-mouth before we found our babysitters — we sure did. But those methods all worked for us when we were looking. If your ad in the paper doesn’t pan out, maybe you could try some of those ideas.

10 Jenn January 23, 2007 at 8:11 pm

I’m not sure if you go back to read these comments after you’ve already posted a new entry…but we have a caregiver that we are very, very happy with. She currently has her son there with her, our son on a part time basis and another little girl on a part time basis. I have not talked to her lately about the possbility of having other kids there, but I can’t see the harm in passing her info along. I understand the difficulty of finding someone you feel comfortable with, and I feel we really lucked out with her. I will check with her to see how she would prefer to be contacted, ie email or phonel. If you are interested, let me know…

11 Jenn January 23, 2007 at 8:12 pm

PS – I should have mentioned that we are in the Barrhaven area, as is she. I’m sure that would be beneficial…

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