The one with the conspiracy theory

by DaniGirl on June 2, 2006 · 13 comments

in Ah, me boys

This is how I imagine the conversation went:

Tristan: Hey, Simon!

Simon: Huh?

Tristan: You want to have some fun?

Simon: Yah!

Tristan: You want to see if we can make Mommy and Daddy snap?

Simon: Yah!

Tristan: Okay, here’s what we’ll do. You’re really good at waking up. You wake up every day at exactly five o’clock, okay?

Simon: Okay!

Tristan: And me, I’m going to start staying up late. They’ll put us to bed, but I won’t go to sleep. I’ll make Daddy read me four or five or even six books, but I won’t go to sleep. I’ll keep getting up and no matter how much they beg, threaten, or cry, I will NOT stay in my bed. Every single night, I’ll ask, “But WHY do kids have to go to bed?” And then I’ll say I’m thirsty and I need a drink of water, and then I’ll say I forgot to give Katie a goodnight kiss, and then I’ll say I have to go potty.

Simon: Yah!

Tristan: And I’ll make sure to stay up well past 9 pm every night, even though Mommy can barely stay awake past 9 pm herself. It will be like a contest, to see who can stay awake the longest.

Simon: Yah!

Tristan: So between me staying up late and you getting up early, there will be less than eight hours of sanity time in the house, which will drive Daddy buggy. And we know Mommy can’t function if she has less than eight hours sleep. And the best part is, because you go to bed early and I sleep late in the mornings, we’ll be perfectly fine while Mommy and Daddy unravel like a cheap sweater!

Simon: Brilliant plan, brother. Let’s do it!

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{ 13 comments… read them below or add one }

1 Beanie Baby June 2, 2006 at 12:59 pm

Frances has got both angles covered by herself these days, sadly. She’s been staying awake till 9:30 or 10:00 (she’s 2 1/2!) and waking up before 6 (Two! And! A! Half!). It stinks. I feel your pain.

2 Miche June 2, 2006 at 1:18 pm

Oh Dani. *hugs* It certainly seems like the young’ens all conspire cleverly crafted plots to foil their parents!
I hope things get better Real Soon Like!

3 Sharon June 2, 2006 at 1:56 pm

OH I so hear you…I get will it can NOT be bedtime the suns not gone away. I can still see the trees outside.
And at 4;30 some mornings..Mommy I can’t open my eyes but I can tell it’s morning the sun is up. BUT I make him got back to sleep.
(OH And mommy brag: been 7 days of dry at night…finally! without a pullup or anything!)

4 JoJo June 2, 2006 at 3:37 pm

Shameless bragging to follow:
I slept in until 8AM this morning! Of course, she woke up screaming at 4am and I dragged her into bed with us desperate for at least another hour. She slept snuggled into me until 8AM. That’s right, 8AM. Of course we were late for daycare and way late for work. But I am too giddy to care.

5 Renee June 2, 2006 at 3:59 pm

I’m so with you on the not being able to function without my 8 hours.
Hopefully, Tristan and Simon’s little conspiracy will end soon.

6 Sarah June 2, 2006 at 4:30 pm

I’m fairly certain that my children are involved in this same conspiracy.
It’s taking over the continent!

7 Suzanne June 3, 2006 at 1:15 am

Oh, Dani. I am certain they are conspiring against you. There is no other explanation that makes sense.
Hang in there!

8 nancy June 3, 2006 at 3:40 am

THAT was hilarious.
So does that mean now would not be a good time to tell you my guys slept from 8:30-8:30 last night??
Ben DID wake at 5:20, then again at 5:45, to tell me about his dream, but we discussed and decided it would be best to tell me “in the morning” and well…he did.
Do you still love me?

9 Sunshine Scribe June 3, 2006 at 4:45 am

I have only one but he has mastered some elaborate planning on his own too. This was a funny post but boy do I feel for you.
Just discovered your blog. It’s great

10 twinmomplusone June 4, 2006 at 3:21 am

oooohh, diabolical conspiracy ;)
hang in there dani

11 Kate June 4, 2006 at 2:12 pm

We thought it would be good for them to have siblings and look what they do to us?

12 Jerri Ann June 5, 2006 at 1:47 am

You have to be kidding me, why did T and S go and teach my kids that game….ack!

13 Kailani June 6, 2006 at 9:34 am

I just knew the kids conspire against us! LOL!

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