Fertility watch

by DaniGirl on May 3, 2006 · 13 comments

in Frostie, Infertility

Warning: too much information alert! You are about to read about my bodily functions, the monthly girly ones. Consider yourself warned. This is the last chance to avert your eyes before gratuituous descriptions of “female troubles”.

So you probably haven’t been nearly as obsessed with my “moon tide” as I have been. That’s perfectly okay. In fact, I think I prefer it that way. But, I’m about to bust with excitement, and rather than just discuss it with someone, why the hell not post it on the Interweb and discuss it with everyone. Right?

And no, let’s be clear that I am NOT PREGNANT, as it occurs to me that it might seem that I’m heading in that direction. Nope, in fact, I have been more fastidious about birth control in the past two years than any other time in my life. Ironic, isn’t it, since the first child cost me a bundle.

And that bundle, she said by way of weak segue, is more or less what I’m going on about now. As you may remember (I’m sure you’ve marked it on your calendar and committed it to memory, too) in order to start the whole ‘turn frostie into a real, live bouncing baby’ process, step one is to call the clinic and tell them it’s day one of “rebooting my ovarian operating system”- any time after June 1.

You’re so clever, you’ve already caught on that it is not yet June 1. But way back when the doc said my earliest start date would be June 1, I did the math, and it seemed like my day one would fall right about May 28, meaning day one of my first “old faithful” after June 1 would fall some time around June 26, and what with the need to do a mock cycle first, we wouldn’t actually be thawing the frostie until the beginning of August, which seems like an awfully long way away.


Here it is, the fourth of May, and the “crimson tide” has not yet arrived. (It will. I know it will, any minute now. If nothing else, I know my body well enough to be 100% sure of that.) But, if we do the math and day one comes today, maybe tomorrow, that means that even if I have a regular 28 day cycle, instead of the 30 day cycle I just finished, day one will arrive ON June 1, maybe even June 2, which means I can start the mock treatment month in June and bring home frostie a whole month earlier, in July.

Isn’t that great? Aren’t you glad you mucked through this entire convuluted post just for that? Yeah, me too!

Let’s review, shall we?

Fact: to begin mock treatment month, day one of “wearing the red shoes” must fall after June 1.
Fact: my cycles usually run 29 to 30 days.
Fact: this month’s cycle will start on or after May 4.
Fact: May 4 + 29 days = June 2
Fact: June 2 is commonly AFTER June 1
Ergo: I will be able to begin my mock treatment in June.
Ergo: I will be able to begin my ‘for real’ treatment in July.

(Aren’t you glad I didn’t have a blog when I was going through IVF? Can you imagine the posts you’d be getting?)

Footnote: special thanks to this page for all the bloody euphemisms.

{ 13 comments… read them below or add one }

1 BeachMama May 4, 2006 at 1:27 pm

Dani, as much is that is sometimes too much information, I am so happy for you!! I am hoping that all goes well with your frostie, keeping all things crossed for you.

2 Miche May 4, 2006 at 1:58 pm

Woo hoo! So exciting to do the mental gymnastics. Sending warm thoughts your way.

3 Marla May 4, 2006 at 2:09 pm

Say “Hello” from me to “Aunt Flo” when she visits you during “Arts and Crafts Week at Panty Camp”

4 Beanie Baby May 4, 2006 at 2:10 pm

Yay! Your body is cooperating. Good news.

5 nancy May 4, 2006 at 2:10 pm

I am most excited and thrilled to read about and follow very intensely your bodily and hormonal functions.
And the best part is that I get to start my day giggling my ASS off thinking about “wearing the red shoes”.

6 suze May 4, 2006 at 2:55 pm

Hooray! yet another way of the fates or whathaveyou confirming this decision of yours! πŸ™‚

7 twinmomplusone May 4, 2006 at 3:00 pm

I hope you soon get to “ride the red pony” while “wearing your red shoes” and “flashing your red flag” while going down “the street that’s up for repairs” and screaming “time to call in the reinforcements!”, “the village has been plundered!” and “it’s time for Miss Scarlett’s to come home to Tara!” when all you really wanted to do was “draft yourself some rookies!!”
Loved that link πŸ˜‰
Keeping everything crossed for you and may all your calculations prove to be correct πŸ™‚

8 Laura May 4, 2006 at 3:22 pm

Good luck with the Collywobbles & I hope you are feeling Menstru-rific when it happens!

9 Renee May 4, 2006 at 3:47 pm

I’ve learned so many ways to talk about that ‘time’ today, that I’m closing my brain down for the rest of the day. My brain work is done.
Good Luck, Dani. I hope Frostie is well on his/her way to being warmed in the very near future.

10 Marla May 4, 2006 at 8:16 pm
11 Nancy May 4, 2006 at 9:05 pm

Danigirl, I am keeping my fingers and toes and everything else feasible crossed for you and your frosty!! Good luck. πŸ™‚

12 ktcakes! May 6, 2006 at 7:16 am

Don’t you love how sometimes your body actually COOPERATES for this crap?!
very excited about pending cycles!!

13 Michele May 7, 2006 at 3:51 am

This is a great blog! I’m glad I stopped by. All the best to you!

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