I may be past my best-before date, but at least I’m not spoiled!

Continuing with our all-memes-all-the-time theme… As seen at Decomposition and Mystery Mommy.

Are you spoiled? (My initial answer before completing the meme is a resounding YES!! And I like it that way!) You are if you can check of 40 of the following:

Do you have…

 your own cell phone (we have one for the family, but I don’t have my own)
 a television in your bedroom
x an iPod (not an iPod, but an MP3 player)
 a photo printer
 your own phone line
 TiVo or a generic digital video recorder
X high-speed internet access (i.e., not dialup)
 a surround sound system in bedroom
 DVD player in bedroom
 at least a hundred DVDs
 a childfree bathroom
X your own in-house office
x a pool (12′ seasonal kiddie pool)
 a guest house
 a game room
X a queen-size bed
 a stocked bar (does three bottles of red wine and half a bottle of something called firewater count?)
X a working dishwasher
 an icemaker
X a working washer and dryer
 more than 20 pairs of shoes
 at least ten things from a designer store (is Roots a designer store? If so, my answer is yes. I am all Roots, all the time. Cell phone, purse, clothes for me and the boys. It’s all a little embarrasing, actually.)
 expensive sunglasses
 framed original art (not lithographs or prints)
 Egyptian cotton sheets or towels
X a multi-speed bike
X a gym membership
 large exercise equipment at home
 your own set of golf clubs
 a pool table
 a tennis court
 local access to a lake, large pond, or the sea
 your own pair of skis
 enough camping gear for a weekend trip in an isolated area
 a boat
 a jet sk
 a neighborhood committee membership
 a beach house or a vacation house/cabin
 wealthy family members
 two or more family cars
X a walk-in closet or pantry (closets)
X a yard
 a hammock
 a personal trainer
X good credit
X expensive jewelry (define expensive? Real diamonds and pearls and rubies? Yes. Worth keeping in a safe deposit box? No.)
 a designer bag that required being on a waiting list to get (there’s waiting lists for designer bags???)
 at least $100 cash in your possession right now (snort – I had to fish money out of my desk drawer to buy a sandwich)
X more than two credit cards bearing your name
 a stock portfolio
 a passport (expired last year)
 a horse
 a trust fund
X private medical insurance (additional drug coverage through work)
X a college degree, and no outstanding student loans (but Beloved is still paying $400/month)

Do you:
 shop for non-needed items for yourself (like clothes, jewelry, electronics) at least once a week  do your regular grocery shopping at high-end or specialty stores (is Farm Boy a specialty store?)
 pay someone else to clean your house, do dishes, or launder your clothes (not counting dry-cleaning) (I wish!!)
X go on weekend mini-vacations (these are the *only* kind of vacations we go on)
 send dinners back with every flaw
 wear perfume or cologne (not body spray)
X regularly get your hair styled or nails done in a salon
 have a job but don’t need the money OR  stay at home with little financial sacrifice
 pay someone else to cook your meals (again, I wish!)
X pay someone else to watch your children or walk your dogs (what does daycare have to do with being spoiled?)
 regularly pay someone else to drive you (does the bus count?)
 expect a gift after you fight with your partner (hmmmm….)

Are you:
 an only child
 married/partnered to a wealthy person
X baffled/surprised when you don’t get your way (who, me?)

Have you:
 been on a cruise
X traveled out of the country
 met a celebrity (define celebrity? define met? I once cornered Margaret Atwood in a bathroom for an autograph, and shook Mikhail Gorbachev’s hand… I’m going to leave this one as a blank.)
X been to the Caribbean (I was nine. Barbados.)
X been to Europe (Holland, Germany, Austria, Italy, France in 1995, then Paris on our honeymoon.)
 BEEN TO HONG KONG
 been to Hawaii
 been to New York
 eaten at the space needle in Seattle
 been to the Mall of America
X been on the Eiffel tower in Paris (twice!)
 been on the Statue of Liberty in New York
 moved more than three times because you wanted to
 dined with local political figures
X been to both the Atlantic coast and the Pacific coast (but in different countries)

Did you:
X go to another country for your honeymoon
 hire a professional photographer for your wedding or party
 take riding or swimming lessons as a child
 attend private school
 have a Sweet 16 birthday party thrown for you

Twenty-six. As unspoiled as the virgin wilderness! (I know, I’m having a hard time keeping a straight face too.) To paraphrase Andrea, the Internet has decreed me as not spoiled, and so it shall be known forevermore.

And that sound you hear? It’s Beloved’s and my mother’s eyeballs rolling in their sockets.

Author: DaniGirl

Canadian. storyteller, photographer, mom to 3. Professional dilettante.

10 thoughts on “I may be past my best-before date, but at least I’m not spoiled!”

  1. Ok how sad is my life that I only got 9? Excuse me while I go over to my husband’s desk and stomp my feet to demand we go on a Carribean cruise. 🙂

  2. D – I have known you a long time and I can honestly say that you have always been, without a doubt, spoiled. Since the very beginning…always… For example, you didn’t answer you have your own phone line…but you did before anyone I knew…in, what, Grade 9?

  3. Jojo, priceless reaction! Only nine? You poor deprived diva! We must remedy those numbers.
    And, um, Fryman? You may have 20+ years of insight, but the Internet does not lie. I’m sorry, you’ve been overruled. (PS – you’re one to talk, he who shuttled more of us to school in the morning than the bus!!!)

  4. met a celebrity? You forgot to mention the time you hung out at the Blue Jays dugout and bugged them until finally you got all their signatures – on a ball cap,I believe – they were celebrities then!!!

  5. *Laughing* Well, if I’m going to be busted by my mom for accuracy, better over the celebrity issue than the central question of whether I’m spoiled or not!!

  6. I live in NY so I guess I’m spoiled because I’m here a lot! Although subtract one because I don’t have a yard or a tennis court.
    The funny thing is that “spoiled” is a catchy title for it but not accurate. Spoiled implies entitlement. I mean, going to Europe makes you spoiled? Having a passport? Exploring both coasts of this country? I thought it made you cultured. Mall of America, on the other hand is laughable in this list at least, or at least in my neck of the woods.
    And damn that good credit! I knew that one would catch up with me sooner or later.

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