By choosing not to decide, does that mean I’ve made a choice?

There’s an old Rush song that goes, “If you choose not to decide, you still have made a choice.”

I seem to be quite good at living my life like this. We didn’t choose to have Simon; he just kind of appeared in our lives. We hadn’t set out to buy a new house when we stumbled across this one back in 2003, but as soon as we saw it, we knew it would be ours. I didn’t even choose to be in this field, in this job… I just ended up here, somehow. Happily, on all three counts.

And so it goes. We got a call from our fertility clinic, reminding me that I had forgotten to fill out the consent forms for another year of frozen embryo storage (back in July. Oops.) So I was on the phone with the administrator, and we were talking about the move that the clinic will be making in the spring, from being part of the Ottawa Hospital to being a free-standing independent clinic. And I was asking, mostly out of curiousity, about how that would impact people who were planning to cycle this summer, and she said it probably wouldn’t have much impact at all, but I should check with my doctor to be sure – and did I want her to put me through to my doctor? And I shrugged and said, ‘Sure, I guess.’

And that’s how I ended up with an appointment. In April. To start a cycle that will ultimately resolve my greatest ongoing angst, what to do with our one little frosty.

I guess we’re going to go for it.

Yikes.

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