Postcards from the Mothership

Time to examine the cold, hard facts of whom is more deserving of your Canadian Blog Award votes: the comedian, published author, TV personality, philanthropist and national cultural icon – or, well, me.

I think a head-to-head comparison will prove illustrious.

Rick Mercer: biting sarcasm.
Me: biting preschoolers.

Rick Mercer: mocks Americans.
Me: loves Americans. USA! USA!! USA!!!

Rick Mercer: high profile friends.
Me: world’s best bloggy friends.

Rick Mercer: supported by the deep pockets of the CBC. **
Me: unsupported. (Well, mostly.)

Rick Mercer: no blog comments allowed.
Me: lives for comments.

Rick Mercer: prone to rants.
Me: prone to rambles.

Rick Mercer: obsessed with Photoshop.
Me: obsessed with Google.

Rick Mercer: political satirist.
Me: potty satirist.

Rick Mercer: thousands of rabid fans.
Me: two fans, occasionally prone to drooling.

Oh look, I win!! (But you can go ahead and vote, if you were going to anyway.)

** Phew, it’s a good think I never signed up for Ad Sense. The pennies-per-month click-thru revenues would have probably exceeded Rick Mercer’s budget from the CBC and left me the underdog in this category.

I’m taking a page from the other (and considerably less important) election going on in Canada right now. If I’m going to beat out Rick Mercer in the Canadian Blog Awards, it’s going to take a little leg work. Gotta get out, pound the pavement and turn over rocks to suss out votes.

“Hello, Aunt Mable? Yes, it’s your great-grandniece twice removed. You know, the cheeky one’s daughter. Yes, right… So, how have you been? … In your knees, you say? … Quite the shame. … Um, Aunt Mable, do you still go to the senior’s centre on Tuesdays? The one with the free-access computers? … You know, computers – the TVs with typewriters in front of them. … Right. … Okay, here’s what I need you to do…”

“Yes, that’s right. Large, with pineapple, bacon and green olives, and a two litre coke. We’ll be by to pick it up in twenty minutes. And while I have you on the phone, do you happen to have a computer with Internet access there?”

“Dr. Smith’s office? Good, thanks. I was supposed to make an appointment to see the dentist eight months ago, and I forgot. Could you squeeze me in this month? Great, thanks. And while I have you on the phone, do you happen to have a computer with Internet access there?”

(via e-mail)
Hello everybody,

My name is Bill Gates. I have just written up an e-mail tracing program that traces everyone to whom this message is forwarded to. I am experimenting with this and I need your help. Forward this to everyone you know and click on this link and vote for Postcards from the Mothership. If it reaches 1000 people everyone on the list will receive $1000 at my expense. Enjoy.

Your friend,
Bill Gates

“Hello? … Oh for cripes sake, NO I am not interested in subscribing to any new magazines right now. Why do you guys always call at dinner – er, hey, wait a second. Is that a computer keyboard I hear you typing on? … With Internet access, you say? … Well then, maybe we can do each other a favour here …. “

What’s that? A little over the top, you say? Nah…..

Holy crap, holy crap, HOLY CRAP!!!

You know how excited I was to make it as a finalist in the Canadian Blog Awards? Well, there’ll be no living with me for the rest of the week. Check THIS out!

Not only did I make the cut for the Canadian Blog Awards, thanks to your diligent voting, but the independent judge(s) of the Weblog Awards chose this blog as one of 15 finalists in the Parenting Blogs category.

Heck, you don’t even have to vote on this one. I’m up against Melissa from Suburban Bliss, and GeekyMom, and She Who Blogs. There’s not a flake’s chance in hell I’ll win, but I’m supremely proud nonetheless. To be a finalist is undeniably flattering and will probably fill my ego-stroking quotient through the New Year. Or through the weekend, at least.

But oh, alright, vote if you must. (Once a day, every day, today through December 15.) (And don’t forget to cast your CBA vote until Friday.) (Sheesh, getting a tad demanding now, aren’t I?)

So what are you waiting for? Vote already!

We went a little Christmas crazy this weekend. Put up the tree, decorated the house, and brought the boys to visit Santa at the grocery store. (I know, I know – but heck, there was nobody in line, he was a perfect Santa, and it was a lovely, leisurely visit.) And my darling Beloved brought the ultimate Christmas movie home from the library, specifically for me – the 1980s classic A Christmas Story. Truly one of my favourite movies of all time.

First, the boys helped me put up the tree:

And then we decorated it.

One of my favourite parts of Christmas is looking at the ornaments we’ve collected over the years. I realized that this year, I’m probably not going to have time to do some of the crafty things I’ve done in prior years, but to fulfil my obligations to the Winter Holiday of Your Choice Blog Extravaganza, I respectfully submit these crafts from Christmases past:

The wreath pot-pourri ornament (felt, pinking shears, netting, glue and pot-pourri) circa 1992.

The folk-art ornaments (felt, cinnamon sticks, wire and embrodery thread) circa 2000:

(You can see a hint of 1990/1991’s beginner-level candy-cane reindeer beside the snowman and JOY pix, too.)

The next year, I used cinnamon sticks in these mitten ornaments, and personalized them for everyone with fabric paint.

I went through a woodworking and painting phase around 1998. My favourite has always been this Santa Star.

I got a sewing machine for my birthday in 1996, and went on a “why buy it if I can sew it?” kick. Luckily, I had enough sense not to wear the truly awful dress that turned out to look like a mumu, but I’ve always been fond of these stockings I made for Beloved and myself, my parents and my brother back in the days we still went ‘home’ to London for Christmas. (The ones with the stars on them were added to the collection in 2004 for Tristan and Simon.)

I keep thinking of stuff I would love to make for this year, but until I find a way to function on less than five hours of sleep a night, I just don’t see when that’s going to happen. I think the most we’ll get done is Nancy’s adorable cotton-ball snowmen.

Wouldn’t be right if I didn’t take a moment right now to say Happy Birthday to my one and only Beloved, who very patiently shared his birthday weekend with our Christmas excesses.

Happy Birthday, sweetie. You make every day a celebration. I love you!

Holy crap!

I was being sincere last week when I said that my major fear in the Canadian Blog Awards was coming in last or near last. I had expected (perhaps arrogantly) to make a fairly decent showing in the middle of the pack, but harboured a secret desire to make it as a finalist.

Well, the votes are in and – – – You did it! We did it!! Postcards from the Mothership made the cut to the final round of voting! Thanks to your diligent voting, blog came in third in the best new blog category, and fourth in the best personal blog category.

WOW!!!!! I’m so honoured and pleased and just damn happy this morning. THANK YOU!

So, you know you’re on the hook for the next round of voting, right? Voting starts Saturday and continues through next Friday. You can vote once a day. No pressure or anything, though. (grovels) But please vote for me!

As if my head weren’t swelled enough already, I was looking at the full tally of results and couldn’t help but note that only one vote separates me and the leader in the best new blog category – and the number one spot is held by Rick Mercer’s blog.

So now we have a new goal. Yes, I said “we” – in for a penny, in for a pound, my friends. I’ve hatched a diabolical new plan to (takes deep breath) … take down Rick Mercer.

(waits for gales of laughter to die down)

Hey, he’s won about 200 Gemini Awards, Canadian Comedy Awards, Writers Guild of Canada Awards and he has his own TV show. I need this more than he does!

The only way I stand a chance is if he doesn’t notice me, a little yap dog of a blogger nipping at his heels. Nobody tell him, okay?

So really – thank you. You’ve honoured me and made me a very happy blogger. Smooches to all of you…

Just a quick post to say a very special congratulations to my dearest friend “Snack Mommy” (if you’ve been in the comment box, you’ve seen her around). She and her family welcomed baby boy Sawyer on Monday, a little early but perfect in every way.

Congratulations to all of you and much love from us!

I’ve created an account on del.icio.us for the Winter Holiday of Your Choice Blog Extravaganza, so we can have a single place with links to everybody’s contributions.

If you want to play, there are only a few instructions. Don’t worry, if you haven’t use del.icio.us before, it might look a little intimidating, but if I can figure it out anybody can! Plus, once you’ve figured it out, you’ll want to create your own del.icio.us account and start tagging everything in site. (Get it, site? As in Web? Nevermind…)

To see the tags that are already there, click on this tag: HolidayBlogExtravaganza

I see two ways to go about this. First, if you like, you can install the del.icio.us bookmarklet and tag the item yourself. Instructions to do so are below. Or, you can send me an e-mail or drop a comment on this post, and I’ll go over and tag it myself.

To add the del.icio.us bookmarklet to your links bar, go to http://del.icio.us/login and log in with username “holidaybloggers” and password “holiday”. Then, go to this welcome page and click on the first link under “How do I get them?”

Once the installation is done, you should have the del.icio.us tag bookmarklet under your “links” menu on your browser toolbar and in your favourites menu. When you want to add something, make sure you are on a specific post page (not your blog main page!) and click on this link – it will open up a del.icio.us page. In the field for tags, key “HolidayBlogExtravaganza” with no quotes and no spaces.

Voilà! You’ve tagged your post to del.icio.us!

Or, forget all that and I’ll be happy to skip from blog to blog, tagging as I go. Either way, you can click through to http://del.icio.us/holidaybloggers any time to see a list of all tagged posts. I’ve added mine, Andrea’s, Marla’s, Nancy’s and Suze’s tonight to get us started. (Sorry, out of time, can’t link just now…)

Who ever thought I’d write a title like that? Credit where credit is due, though. I read this morning that the Pope is set to abolish the concept of “Limbo”, the neither heaven-nor-hell place where Catholic doctrine dictates the souls of unbaptized babies will stay in perpetuity.

Ever since I was a child, I’ve been bothered by the concept of Limbo. How could God, who is benevolent and compassionate, not welcome the souls of innocent babies into heaven? Looking back, this was probably marked the first of many doubts I would have about Catholic doctrine.

And yet, I have to admit that one of my lingering concerns about not having the boys baptized was the tiny voice in my head that said, “What if you’re wrong?”

The cynic in me wants to mock this about-face by the Church. Faith is supposed to be based on the word of God, and yet it was men who created the concept of Limbo, and men who have decided the concept is no longer congruent to our world view. (Men, I note specifically. Not women.) So because men pronounced it so, millions of souls of babies will be saved? Hardly.

Even more troublesome is this paragraph from the Ottawa Citizen’s version of the story today. (I’d link to them, but they didn’t bother to put the story in their online edition.)

Pope John Paul II pointed to the mistake of thinking of [Heaven, Hell, Purgatory and Limbo] as places, rather than states of being, said [theology professor] Mr Coyle, who doubts whether the [Vatican] committee would make a statement on how to “reroute” the souls in question.

To me, this is a huge reminder of the vast number of people who still take so much of the Church’s teachings as completely literal. I can’t help but laugh at the image of millions of unbaptized souls being herded from some cosmic waiting room into the garden of eternal salvation upon the signing of some Vatican writ. While I am happy to see the Church taking such public and important steps toward moderation, it’s clear they still have a long way to go.

If we could just get some movement on the concepts of birth control, women in the clergy, assisted reproductive technologies and gay marriage, I could get the boys baptized with a relatively clear conscience.

I’m not holding my breath…