Worst commercial song appropriation ever

Beloved and I are watching American Idol on TV. Well, Beloved is watching it and I’m futzing about on the laptop, half paying attention.

A commercial comes on for Wendy’s, the hamburger chain, and Beloved nearly chokes. I miss the visual, but the music running in the background is the Violent Femmes’ Blister in the Sun.

Seriously.

It’s not that I’m some boomer-wanna-be bemoaning the appropriation of the music of my youth; I just think if you’re going to lift a song for its funky bass riff, you should at least think about what that song means to one of your major demographic groups. They’re selling a squeaky-clean, family-friendly hamburger chain and they use that song? Tell me how these lyrics makes you crave a hamburger, fries and a frosty?

When I’m out walkin’ I strut my stuff
Man, I’m so strung out
I’m high as a kite and I just might stop to check you out
Let me go on like I blister in the sun
Let me go on big hands I know you’re the one
Body and heat I stain my sheets I don’t even know why
My girlfriend she’s at the end and she is starting to cry
Let me go on like I blister in the sun
Let me go on big hands I know you’re the one

So that bit about “I stain my sheets” – that was from ketchup and mustard, was it?

I mean, seriously!

Dead iPod redux

It’s a damn good thing it’s sweeps week on the major networks, because I’ve got nothing but re-runs for you here today.

This was supposed to be the post where I raved about the fantastic service I got from Apple.

As you know, my iPod died a week ago Friday. On Saturday, I spoke to someone at Apple, and on Tuesday, a box arrived on my doorstep to return my deceased iPod to its mothership. I missed the Tuesday night pickup at the UPS store, so it went out on Wednesday. I followed its progress on Apple’s Web site, and was amazed at how quickly it was processed. On Thursday, the Web site indicated a replacement iPod had been shipped, and if we hadn’t been out of the house, I would have had it in my hot little hands some time around 6 pm on Friday. Now that’s impressive service… if we’d have been home, it would have been exactly seven days from problem to new iPod.

As it was, I had to wait an extra two days because the delivery company works Monday to Friday only. When I got home from work yesterday, sure enough, the new iPod was waiting for me. Since it had been sitting on the porch in minus 20 degree temperatures all day, I thought it prudent to let it warm up to room temperature before I plugged it in.

By the time I finally sat down to load some music on the new iPod, I was pretty excited. I plugged in the USB cable, watched as iTunes opened, and selected a few songs to load.

That’s when I got the first error message. I tinkered with it, and it got worse. I went to Apple’s Web site support and followed some instructions. (I am always a bit relieved to see the error messages I’m receiving addressed, but ultimately disappointed when the proposed solutions never seem to work.)

I called Apple support and spoke to one agent, who walked me through the steps I’d just taken, and when it didn’t work for him either, he referred me to a ‘product specialist’ who walked me through a few more solutions. Are you shocked to hear that none of those solutions worked, either?

They’re sending me another box today, so I can return this ex-iPod back to its maker, too.

For those of you keeping score, that’s four iPods in six months. Yikes!

The worst part? My cordless phone died in the middle of my conversation with the guy from Apple support. And, just now Blogger crapped out as I was typing this with its suddenly ubiquitous message, “Could not connect to Blogger.com. Saving and publishing may fail.”

You think maybe the universe is trying to tell me something?

Progress?

For quite some time, I have been composing a very whiny post in my head. Very whiny. Don’t say I didn’t warn you.

Ahem. You may not have noticed, since I only blog about it every other day, that I’ve been working hard on this weight-loss thing. But you reading about it occassionally is not nearly so overwhelmingly annoying as me living with it has been. It seems like I’m fighting a battle with my willpower many, many times each day:

Whiner me: I don’t waaaant to work out.
Keener me: Oh, just do it and you’ll feel better.

Whiner me: But I worked out, now I really waaaaant that caramel pecan chocolate chip cookie!
(damn those caramel chocolate pecan cookies, they will be my undoing)
Keener me: No, no, no. You don’t need cookies. Have a piece of lettuce.

Whiner me: Oh but look, chips are on sale. Sale, I say. Chips… I love chips. Chips make me happy, and I deserve to be happy.
Keener me: NO CHIPS! Chips are evil. You are better than chips. Just say NO to chips.

Whiner me: Wah! I’ve been so good all day, I’m tired, I just want to order a pizza for dinner. And the boys won’t eat pizza unless it has double cheese and bacon. C’mon, throw me a bone here, it’s been a long day.
Keener me: Oh come off it. It will take 15 minutes to throw together a veggie stir fry. You can do it!

Lather, rinse and repeat every. single. day. Damn, I’m starting to hate ‘keener me’.

And it wouldn’t have been so very hard to keep up this internal argument if I were making progress. But every Saturday, I would step on to the scale at the gym, and every Saturday the needle would be magnetically drawn to the same place, a full 10 lbs heavier than I’ve ever been. I lost that one pound the first week, gained it back the second week, and it hasn’t budged in four long weeks. It has been, in a word, demoralizing. Why try if it isn’t making any difference? Why work out two or three times a week, why deny myself the treats, why stress myself out for NOTHING?

(Like I said, whiny. Don’t say I didn’t warn you!)

BUT!

This Saturday, as I stepped on to the scale, I was braced for the disappointment. I centred my feet in exactly the same spot I always do, leaned forward the way I always do, and damn near fell off the scale when I saw it was down a full five pounds.

Five pounds? FIVE POUNDS? I lost five pounds in just one week?

So I stepped off the scale, did a little shuffle, and stepped back on the scale. I could barely bring myself to look. Still down five pounds.

I left the gym feeling a little shakey, and it wasn’t just from the 25 minutes full-tilt on the elliptical. I wanted to believe, wanted with my whole heart to believe it was true, and yet I couldn’t help but feel that someone was about to snatch this small victory away from me.

I’ve never actually been successful at weight loss before. I’ve lost weight due to stress (lost a bunch when I moved away from home the first time, lost so much when I went through my divorce that I took to saying I’d lost 225 lbs – 25 lbs off me, and another 200 lbs off my back) but I’ve never in the years of trying lost more than a pound or so. I’ve just kind of acclimatized to the new weight every couple of years.

Do you think it’s possible? Did I really lose 5 lbs last week? No wait, shhhhhh, don’t say anything. If I just never step on a scale again, I can live with only having met half my goal. I’m going to scratch this one off as a victory while I still can.

SImon’s birthday party

Have you been breathlessly waiting for the update from Simon’s birthday party yesterday? I know, you haven’t been able to sleep for the suspense. Well, I’m thrilled to be able to report that despite the words you never want to hear your husband say when you have more than a dozen friends and family in the house (“Don’t worry, it’s only a small fire in the oven”), the party was nearly perfect.

I had set my goal for the day at a rather lofty “I’ll be happy as long as nobody cries”, and managed to not only pull that off, but I think everyone had a great time while they were at it.

We managed to play one game, but the kids were content to raid the snack table and play at their own pace.

Simon had a lot of helpers when opening his gifts, and he was surprisingly tolerant of them!


If you want to make a three-year-old really happy, I suggest a drum, a doctor kit, a dollhouse, a pirate ship, a handful of books, a floor puzzle, and some new clothes. (Okay, so mommy probably appreciated the clothes more than he did on the spot – but he’ll be happy when I discard the flood pants that are grazing his shinbone instead of his ankle!)

And Papa Lou makes a very patient patient!


All in all, it was a wonderful way to spend a Saturday morning, watching the happy children that make up our extended family romp through the house while the adults relaxed nearby. They’re the people I love most in the world, and having them all in the same place was more than enough to make it a perfect morning; the rest was just the icing on the cake… the brightly coloured Wiggles cake, of course.

730 days, 762 posts, too many words to count

Today marks two years since I started this blog. Two years = 730 days, and in those 730 days, I’ve put up 762 posts. This is what a year of blog posts looks like when you kill a small forest of trees in fear of losing your precious words to the interwebs, stored somewhere far from you with no backup:

I saw over at Elizabeth’s place in early January that she had put up a post with her favourite posts of the preceding year, and I liked that idea. So, if you’ll pardon the inherent narcissism, here are a selection of my favourite posts from the last year:

Coincidence (February – on registering Tristan for kindergarten)

Picture this (February – on getting our family portraits done)

Transitions (March – on the boys growing up)

The day my pants betrayed me (March – anecdote)

Bad words (May – on what makes a ‘bad’ word)

The one with the conspiracy theory (June – on sleep deprivation)

The one with too much information (June – on frostie and buying an OPK)

Sketches of Quebec City (July – a six-part series on our trip to Quebec City)

Saying goodbye to frostie (August – the end of our frozen embryo cycle)

Notes from a therapy session (August – on Tristan)

The memo (September – early pregnancy results)

Getting ready for school – a monologue (September)

I’m outraged (October – a rant on grammar rules)

The one with the coconut (October – anecdote)

Random attempts to cope (November – after the miscarriage)

An open letter to Proctor and Gamble (December – consumer rant)

CBS announces Rockstar: Wiggles! (December – a bit of fun)

How do you know? (December – on families)

Don’t ask me what criteria I used to category a post as a ‘favourite’; I have no idea. Some of them I liked because I think they’re well written, some of them are funny (to me, at least), some of them mark significant moments in the past year, and some of them just resonate with me.

It’s been a truly amazing year, and I’ve had the chance to do things and meet people I never would have imagined because of this blog. Thank you for making it possible, and thank you for coming along for the ride.

A love letter to Simon

My darling Simon,

You are three years old today. Three years old… no longer a baby, but not quite done being a toddler yet. You are still my baby, and your babyness shows in your fat baby feet with their pudgy baby toes, and in the way you still have a traces of the bowlegged toddler waddle when you walk, and in the way you wrap your body around mine when I pick you up. Your skin, too, is the flawlessly soft skin of a baby, fresh and dewy.

But every day, another remnant of your babyness disappears. You speak in full sentences, and it’s only occasionally that we don’t quite catch the waterfall of words and ideas spilling constantly forth from you. We had a little confusion with ‘shovel’ and ‘trouble’ yesterday, for example. Most of the time, when we don’t understand your words it’s because you’re busy thinking your own thoughts and you surprise us with your out-of-the-blue observations and opinions.

You are charming, my son, and you love to work that charm. You flirt shamelessly, and yesterday you kissed the back of my hand when trying to convince me to do something for you. Of course, I acquiesced; how could I resist? You are free with your kisses and hugs and declarations of love, and you have a way of meeting my eyes just before you tell me you love me that makes me think you realize exactly what you are saying and what it means to me. I fear for the hearts of a generation of girls who will look into those deep brown eyes, crinkled with laughter, and be lost forever!

You are a happy little boy. You are almost always cheerful, content, and easy to get along with – unless you are hungry or tired. Much like your mother, when you are hungry or tired, you are – well, I was going to say you are a little bit cranky, but ‘an angry tyrant’ might be a little closer to the truth. But once those basic needs are met, you are a pleasure to be with.

I have to admit, you seem to be the more mischevious of my two sons. You find small ways to get into trouble every day that would have never occured to your brother. You like mess, and you like chaos, and you love to play with water. Personally, I’m not so fond of those things. It was you who dunked the blanket in the toilet, and you who coloured on the fridge and microwave with magic marker, and you who found Papa Lou’s scissors and started practicing your cutting skills, luckily with a scrap of paper. I think you’re getting used to hearing your name said with an exhalation of frustration: “Si-mon!” as your daddy or I follow in the wake of your mischief, our eyes rolling as we try not to laugh – or yell! And yet, you are so lovable that you are forgiven for your transgressions, and we learn to live with a little bit more chaos and clutter in our lives.

You love music and you love to dance. You are going through a drum phase right now, and we can’t help but laugh at your energetic “dum dum dum”ing as you drum on an imaginary drum. Last week, Papa Lou dug out some of his old drumsticks and turned over a bowl to use as a makeshift drum, and you were not only patient of his teaching but showed an impressive aptitude for rhythm that must have made Papa Lou feel better after the abysmal lack of rhythm that I’ve always displayed.

You are so very clever, and you have no idea that because Tristan is two years older than you, there are things that he can do that perhaps you cannot. You’ve recently learned from him how to work the remote control for the DVD player, and you display your prowess with the remote by watching at most three minutes of every feature on your many DVDs, flicking with abandon through the various menus for special features, advanced settings and scene selection. Who knew I would pine for the days when we simply sat down and watched an entire 30 minute DVD from start to finish? You still love the Wiggles, but you also love Scooby Doo and Garfield and Spot, and you have been indoctrinated by your father’s love for old Superfriends cartoons and your mother’s love for old skool Sesame Street.

I can’t think of a day in recent memory that hasn’t begun with you creeping quietly into my room before dawn to crawl under the covers and cuddle into me. For such a small person, you take up a lot of bed space, often sleeping with your arms thrown wide to either side, or sleeping sideways across the bed with the top of your head pressing into my back. You also like to sleep with your hand twisted through my hair, and as you sleep you twitch the hair at the back of my neck, keeping me just awake to be aware of you but not awake enough to move out of your reach.

You are so unfailingly sweet, and can be surprisingly well-mannered for a three year old. This morning when I picked you up and told you it was your birthday, you said, “Oh, thank you, Mommy!” in your most gentle voice. And when I sang a quiet and private “Happy Birthday To Simon”, you beamed and blushed and said “thank you” again.

Tonight, we will celebrate your birthday with Granny and Papa Lou by having your favourite food – guacamole and cheese roll-ups, and I won’t even try to hide any extra vegetables in it in honour of your birthday – and cupcakes with candles for dessert. We’ll celebrate again on Saturday with the whole family – even your cousins from out of town.

So let me end this by saying for all the world to see how much I love you, Simon, and how much you make every single day a joy with your quirky sense of humour, your endless affection, and your boundless energy. Happy birthday, my sweet Simon!

The newest Harry Potter book arrives July 21!

I’m so excited by this news for a number of reasons: because I am an avowed JK Rowling fan, because I love the idea of bloggers receiving press releases along with the MSM, and because I’m lucky enough to be on a publisher’s mailing list. How could I not share this information with you?

Sadly, I don’t have time to craft a proper post out of it, so I’ll just reprint the press release verbatim:

Canadian publication announcement for the seventh and final book in the Harry Potter series by J. K.Rowling

(Vancouver, February 1, 2007): Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows by J. K. Rowling will be published around the world in the English language on Saturday, July 21st ,2007.
The seventh and final book in the Harry Potter series will be available across Canada at one minute past midnight local time on July 21st.

Raincoast will be publishing the children’s hardback edition (ISBN: 978-1-55192-976-7) and an adult hardback edition (ISBN: 978-1-55192-978-1). The books will sell at a suggested retail price of $45.00 CDN.

In making the announcement, J. K. Rowling’s Canadian joint publishing partners, Raincoast Books and Bloomsbury Publishing Plc, said they are delighted at the prospect of publishing this most anticipated of books.

2007 marks the tenth anniversary of the publication of Harry Potter and the Philosopher’s Stone. The Harry Potter series has gone on to sell 325 million copies worldwide and been translated into 64 languages. The most recent book, Harry Potter and the Half-Blood Prince, sold 650,000 copies in the Canada on the first weekend of its release in 2005, making it the fastest-selling book of all time. All six Harry Potter books have been number one bestsellers around the world.

Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows is embargoed until 12:01 AM local time on Saturday July 21st , 2007 across all Canadian time zones.

Edited to add: if you want to see Harry Potter as you’ve never quite imagined him, check out this article in the London Telegraph (and the accompanying photograph – don’t miss the photograph!) about Daniel Radcliffe’s latest thespian adventure, naked on a London stage. Yowza! Now I know how Beloved feels when he talks about feeling like a dirty old man when he watches the perky young things on Hi-5. I think I need a cold shower…

Girls Night Out!

Considering how socially awkward I feel when I don’t have my computer to mediate my conversations, I’m becoming addicted to these blogger meet-ups!

Chantal and Andrea proposed the idea a girls-only Ottawa blogger (and lurker!) get together for Friday, February 16 at the Clocktower Pub on Bank Street. (They give me credit for being in on the planning, but I basically said a lot of “me too!” and get credit as an organizer – my kind of event!) Come on out and join us! RSVP over at Chantal’s place.

C’mon, don’t be shy, you know you want to come. All the cool kids are doing it!