The baby has a new game. It’s called “soother, soother, who’s got the soother” and involves him waking up every 20 minutes to an hour all night, whimpering because he can’t find his soother. I give it to him, he rolls over and goes back to sleep, I’m up for 20 more minutes grumbling. Lather, rinse, repeat. We played that from midnight to four in the morning, give or take, then Lucas decided to serenade the house. For an hour. Not crying, not even fussing, just hollering to enjoy the sound of it echoing through the darkened but no-longer-sleeping house.
I finally nursed him around 5:15, just to stuff something in his mouth to keep him quiet, and he promptly fell back asleep.
I did not.
Around 6:15, I got Beloved up. As he was showering, I fell into a fitful sleep. At around 6:45, a cacophony not unlike the sound of 150 recycling boxes full of wine bottles jarred me awake. The neighbours one door over are getting a new roof today, and it was the sound of a dumpster being installed in their driveway. Joy.
Beloved goes to work, I get the boys ready for school. Garbage leaks mysterious sticky substance all over the kitchen floor as I change the bag. Syrup gets knocked over and spills onto the table. Dog tracks what can only be her own poop she has stepped in across the floor. The baby is miserable, won’t let me put him down but complains when I pick him up. Doesn’t even enjoy his breakfast, which he usually loves. I manage a four minute shower, and he howls throughout it. I pull on a fresh shirt, pick him up, and he spits up all over me.
Get all three boys in coats because it is one degree above freezing this morning (no, really!) and out the door, only a couple of minutes late for the bell.
Get back to the house with Lucas, give him a bottle and bring him upstairs for a desperately needed nap. Rock him and wrestle with him for 30 minutes as he resists sleep to the point of tears. (His, not mine.) Remain remarkably calm despite growing headache from clenched jaws. Baby has been asleep just long enough for me to consider putting him in his cradle when goddamn roofers start throwing what sounds like anvils from top of roof into empty metal dumpster. You can imagine the noise. I jump, baby jumps and cries… and we start all over again with the wrestling and the rocking.
Finally get baby to sleep, creep downstairs, microwave cold cup of coffee because in the fray I’ve managed only one cup so far… and there is no milk.
Whimper.
Edited to add: nap lasted 18 minutes. Long enough to write this post, pee and empty five plates from the dishwasher.
Whimper.