Category: Rants and rambles

Christmas crazies

In the Citizen this morning, there was an article (sorry, subscriber only – why do they do that?) about the hot ‘toys’ this Christmas and how people are frantically bidding outrageous amounts for them on eBay. The article notes,

Over the two-week period beginning Nov. 23, eBay has sold 6,470 Wii units across Canada — most at double their retail price of $280. The Playstation 3 has sold 7,060 times at an average of $2,317 — four times its retail price of $550. Meanwhile, the Elmo T.M.X. has been sold 10,247 times for an average of $30 more than its retail price of $44.99.

I’m going to have to back this rant up a little bit. I’m going to ignore for a moment the whole idea of the bidding wars, and just shake my head in dismayed disbelief that anyone would pay more than FIVE HUNDRED DOLLARS for a video game console. I’m not spending $500 for both boys combined, and don’t anticipate doing so any time in the near future. Not in this lifetime. (If the lottery fairy dumps a load of cash in my stocking and deems it must be spent on home electronics, a new computer for the family and a Canon Rebel digital SLR are at the top – and bottom! – of that list.)

But seriously, did you see that last line in the quote? People are spending an average – an AVERAGE! – of $75 for an Elmo doll. And while I think $75 for Elmo is questionable in an eye-brow raising sort of way, I simply can’t conceptualize paying over two thousand dollars for a video game system where you still have to pay extra for the damn games. I don’t have enough italics, caps and exclamation marks to fully express my astonishment and contempt.

These things will all be back on the store shelves, not to mention their regular price, by mid-January. What on earth is possessing people to pay these outrageous amounts?

What’s the best gift you are giving this Christmas, the one you can’t wait to give? And would you pay four times the retail price to give it?

A little something for everybody

I can’t even remember the last time we had a ramble around here. I’ve got a whole bunch of flotsam and pretty pieces of beach glass that I’ve collected, but I have no idea what to do with them. So, I’ll drop them unceremoniously into a single post and let you make something of it.

First, if you haven’t been there already, you should go check out Nancy’s blog. She’s doing a fun Christmas craft or activity every day leading up to December 24.

Second, speaking of holiday activities, my Christmas lights really hate me this year. Or is it the other way around? Back in November, when I was still pregnant, I found myself on a step-ladder hanging the outdoor lights. It was only after about 40 minutes, when I got all the way to the end of the string and my arms were aching from being lifted over my head for so long, that I realized I had started at the wrong end. I had to pull them all back down and re-hang them with the plug on the end nearest the receptacle and not furthest from it. I only mention it now because yesterday I noticed one of our three strings of indoor tree lights was not working. After some fidgeting, I decided the string was officially dead, and needed to be replaced. Of course, this was the middle string. So I very carefully unstrung it, trying hard not to dislodge too many ornaments, and very carefully wove a new string into more or less the same space. When I plugged it in, another string of lights died. When I tested the removed string, it worked fine. So I unstrung a SECOND string of lights and restrung the original string. With all the shifting and yanking and replacing of ornaments, the tree looks like it was decorated by a band of blind monkeys, but at least the lights are working. For now.

Third, some tips from the peanut gallery. Fryman sent me this article in the Globe and Mail about how 96% of Canadian women contribute to the control the family finances, and the vast majority, 63%, have sole control. I have to admit, even though in my house I have pretty much sole control over the finances, I was still surprised to see the figure as high as 63%. Does that figure surprise you?

Fourth, also from the peanut gallery, this amusing link from the one and only Marla. I’ve been trying for days to come up with a post witty enough to support it, but I have failed abjectly. Therefore, I simply ask you to try to imagine taking a refreshing walk along the beach and finding thousands of bags of Doritos, washed up like 200 gram beached whales. Go ahead, if you can make something funnier out of this, be my guest!

Fifth, for those of you who came of age watching television in the 1980s (like me), I offer you the 50 greatest television commercials from the 80s.

And finally, a follow-up to my horrible, terrible, no-good, very bad day. This morning in his Action Line column in the Citizen, columnist Tony Côté addressed my request for his help to find, repay and recognize the kindness of that cab driver who was so kind to me. Well, not so much addressed it as, much to my surprise, simply reprinted my entire e-mail to him (complete with my full name and all – and I mean all – of the gory details, including the miscarriage, the forgotten wallet and the tears) pretty much verbatim. I was hoping he might help me find my way to a real person at Blue Line who could put me in touch with the cabbie, but it looks like I’ll have to keep trying that avenue on my own. Instead, my most humiliating day is now available to a much wider audience than I could have ever reached through blog. Oy, how do I get myself into these things?

An open letter to Proctor and Gamble

Dear Proctor and Gamble,

At the risk of being rude, could I please ask just what the hell your marketing department has been smoking lately?

First, you come out with the Tide “the difference between smelling like a mom and smelling like a woman” commercial. This ad insinuates that mothers have an inherently unpalatable smell, but fear not because Tide with Febreeze laundry detergent will mask or even eliminate that unpleasant mother smell. (To see the ad, go to Tide’s website, and click on “The Difference” under Tide Febreeze Freshness.)

Given that fresh baby is at the top of my favourite smells of all time, and Febreeze ranks somewhere after dog vomit and forgotten Tupperware container of month-old ravioli, I think I’ll do my best to keep smelling like a mother. If you think that ad was generally well received in the mothering community, you should read the 20+ comments on Ann Douglas’ blog, not to mention Ann’s excellent criticism. And don’t even get me started about how there is no campaign about the difference between smelling like a dad and smelling like a man.

Second, what is the deal with the Have a Happy Period â„¢ campaign for Always pads? I can tell you I was nothing less than infuriated to tear into a new package of pads last night to continue mopping up the flow of blood after my recent dilation and curettage to see your chipper Have a Happy Period â„¢ slogan printed on the paper attached to the adhesive backing.

“Have a Happy Period”? Not so happy, actually. I was looking forward to not having another period for at least five more months, to tell you the truth. I can only imagine how much I would have hated to see that chipper little strip of paper staring up at me every single month while we were struggling with the pain of infertility. Months stretch into years, the desire for a baby grows into an obsession, and each month dreams are crushed by the arrival of yet another period. But wait, I feel better, because Proctor and Gamble is telling me to have a HAPPY period.

The “manifesto” on your Have a Happy Period â„¢ website says, in part, “This is the time when, if something is even slightly annoying, the world should know about it.” Look at that, I’m taking your assvice! This campaign is insensitive, trite, and quite a bit more than “slightly annoying”. And if anyone ever sent me a Have a Happy Period â„¢ e-card that said “feeling whiney, snippy and bloated? Try self-aware, concise and curvy”, I’d block their e-mail address.

I’m all for providing resources for educators and young women who may have questions, but I don’t think we’ve made much progress when we’ve gone from shaming women about their bodies’ natural functions to trivializing them.

Sincerely, DaniGirl

(with credit to the Pixies at the Whiner’s Ball)