It was only a couple of months ago I happened on an old blog post that I had completely forgotten. With more than 2000 (!) published posts in the archive this happens rather often, and it’s one of my very favourite parts of having the blog. Although I’d forgotten the story and it made me laugh when I re-read it recently, I didn’t mention the story to anyone after I stumbled across it, and so I couldn’t help but laugh when history repeated itself just yesterday.
First, replicated for your ease of clicking, here’s the original post from 2007:
For the most part, potty training Tristan was a breeze. He waited until he was three and a half to be ready for it, but when he was ready, the transition was quick, painless and relatively dry. From the last day of diapers, we’ve had a total of maybe a dozen accidents at most. A year and a half later, however, one hurdle remains.
He refuses to wipe his own butt.
We’ve tried cajoling, reasoning, bribing and ignoring him, but he outwaits us every time. And for reasons I’ll never understand, the vast preponderance of the time, he likes to go when we are sitting at the dinner table.
Tristan, from the bathroom: “I’m done.”
Me, at the table: “Good.”
(pause)
Tristan: “Are you coming?”
Me: “No. Wipe yer own butt.”
Tristan, whining: “I can’t!”
Me: “Yes, you can.”
Tristan: “I don’t want to!”
Me: “Well, that’s probably closer to the truth. You have to learn to wipe your own butt, Tristan. Big boys wipe their own butts.”
(pause)
Tristan: “Is this Monday?”
Me, unfazed at the non-sequiter: “No, it’s Saturday.”
Tristan: “Well, I only wipe my own butt on Mondays.”
How do you argue with logic like that? He may have won again today, but you can bet he’s not getting away with it come Monday!
(Edited to add: and by God if he didn’t wipe his own butt on Monday. By his choice, mind you. He called from the bathroom, I reminded him it was Monday, and he said “Oh, okay” and did it. Who knew??)
Fast forward back to 2012. I’m editing photos in Lightroom just as the kids are getting ready for bed when the call comes from the bathroom, except this time it’s Lucas:
Lucas, from the bathroom: “Mo-om! Come wipe my butt!”
Me: “No way, José. You can do it.”
(pause)
Lucas: “I don’t know how to wipe my bum in the nighttime, only in the daytime.”
I can’t say much for their bathroom hygiene, but at least I know my boys share a strong streak of creativity.
I’m crying as I read this, both “real” tears and tears of laughter. The Little Man, who won’t thank me for posting this, is 5 1/2 years old and just started wiping his butt a month ago. And only after I flat out refused to get up and do it.
The mister has been catering to the “please help me” line for awhile, but I was over it. With only half days at school right now, he can avoid going while there, but what happens next year? 🙂
He does, however, still insist on getting completely naked from the waist down every time he poops, socks included, and requests we check to “make sure I got it all”. I’ve taken to telling him that if he missed any, it’ll wash off in the bath. Now that the baby man is around there are only so many bare bums I’m interested in seeing a day.