Saying goodbye to frostie

I’ve always believed in a greater order to the universe, if not in an actual higher power. Not exactly fate, because I believe we do control our own destinies. But I strongly believe that everything happens for a reason.

That makes it only marginally easier to say goodbye to frostie. No need to pee on a stick this morning, because nature informed me in her own bloody way last night that the cycle didn’t work, that toastie never did become stickie, and that I’m not pregnant.

I think the strangest, saddest part of the whole thing is saying goodbye to the idea of frostie. For five years, as long as we’ve had Tristan in my life, we’ve also had frostie. Frostie was like an empty chair at the table, a place-holder for the child that might someday be. It was our back-up plan, our big ‘what-if”. It was also the twin of Tristan. For five years, we paid a couple hundred dollars to keep it in frozen slumber, and it seems incredibly sad to me to go through all the effort of re-energizing it, only to have the cycle fail.

But everything happens for a reason, right?

You only had to read a post or two in the past couple of months to know I was occasionally ambivalent about the idea of having three kids. And yet, typically, now that I’ve been told I can’t have something I want it more than ever. I’m such a Leo.

And heck, Simon taught us that we don’t need a lab and a dozen specialists and a couple thousand dollars to make a baby. There’s an easier, much more fun and FREE way to go about it, and you know how I feel about free. I love free.

So yes, today we are sad to say goodbye to frostie. To have a dream end this way is always sad, but we are so very blessed in so many ways. I never, ever want to be that person who reaches past what she has trying to grasp what she wants. Never.

So long, frostie. I’m sorry it didn’t work out for us.

Author: DaniGirl

Canadian. storyteller, photographer, mom to 3. Professional dilettante.

80 thoughts on “Saying goodbye to frostie”

  1. My heart goes out to you, Dani, even as your strength and perspective are an inspiration.

  2. My heart goes out to you, Dani, even as your strength and perspective are an inspiration.

  3. Sorry to hear about frostie, Dani.
    Your post is great; counting your blessings. Something we all need to do more often.

  4. Sorry to hear about frostie, Dani.
    Your post is great; counting your blessings. Something we all need to do more often.

  5. Deepest sympathies to both of you. Thank you so much for sharing the personal experience with us; now we share the grief with you.
    Just remember how Simon came about…

  6. Deepest sympathies to both of you. Thank you so much for sharing the personal experience with us; now we share the grief with you.
    Just remember how Simon came about…

  7. I am taking the crumpled and moist mess of sadness out of the hand that was behind my back yesterday, and am wrapping it it a wee cashmere blanket, giving it a little chocolate and some boubon, and tucking it away deep inside so that when I finally lay eyes on you, all you see is a glimpse of it and then only that I’m happy to see you. And then we can start planning the wedding immediately.

  8. I am taking the crumpled and moist mess of sadness out of the hand that was behind my back yesterday, and am wrapping it it a wee cashmere blanket, giving it a little chocolate and some boubon, and tucking it away deep inside so that when I finally lay eyes on you, all you see is a glimpse of it and then only that I’m happy to see you. And then we can start planning the wedding immediately.

  9. Big hugs Dani. Kudos to you for your strength and perspective. Thank you for sharing your journey.
    I’m glad you tried — even if the results were not as you had hoped at the time. To not try and wonder … that would be a difficult weight to bear.

  10. Big hugs Dani. Kudos to you for your strength and perspective. Thank you for sharing your journey.
    I’m glad you tried — even if the results were not as you had hoped at the time. To not try and wonder … that would be a difficult weight to bear.

  11. I’m so sorry about frostie and the loss of all the hopes, dreams, and invested possibilities that frostie entailed.
    What could be done, you did for frostie. In the end, that’s what matters.

  12. I’m so sorry about frostie and the loss of all the hopes, dreams, and invested possibilities that frostie entailed.
    What could be done, you did for frostie. In the end, that’s what matters.

  13. I’m so sorry your frostie didn’t make it. I know it’s hard to say goodbye. I’ll be thinking of you lots in the coming days.

  14. I’m so sorry your frostie didn’t make it. I know it’s hard to say goodbye. I’ll be thinking of you lots in the coming days.

  15. When I had a miscarriage many years back, I told one kind soul that it was OK, and that everything happens for a reason. (A brave face I was putting on when in reality I was pretty sad.) He told me that when his wife had a miscarriage, it was letting go of the dream that was the hardest part. I hear that in your post. I’m so sorry. (Hugs)

  16. When I had a miscarriage many years back, I told one kind soul that it was OK, and that everything happens for a reason. (A brave face I was putting on when in reality I was pretty sad.) He told me that when his wife had a miscarriage, it was letting go of the dream that was the hardest part. I hear that in your post. I’m so sorry. (Hugs)

  17. Just clicked on your blog by chance from CHBM.
    I’m sorry. I also had that unwelcome bloody reminder that I am not pg arrive last night.
    We have been trying to conceive #3 for almost a year.
    Your loss is so much greater than mine.
    Sorry.

  18. Just clicked on your blog by chance from CHBM.
    I’m sorry. I also had that unwelcome bloody reminder that I am not pg arrive last night.
    We have been trying to conceive #3 for almost a year.
    Your loss is so much greater than mine.
    Sorry.

  19. So sorry Dani. Thank you for sharing the journey with us. I think we’ll all hug our children a little tighter today, reminded of how complicated it can be to get them here.

  20. So sorry Dani. Thank you for sharing the journey with us. I think we’ll all hug our children a little tighter today, reminded of how complicated it can be to get them here.

  21. I’m sorry this try did not work for you.. I’m sending you a big hug and a buttertart through my computer.. ๐Ÿ˜‰
    Love, Robin

  22. I’m sorry this try did not work for you.. I’m sending you a big hug and a buttertart through my computer.. ๐Ÿ˜‰
    Love, Robin

  23. There’s nothing I can add that others haven’t said. I’ve been away from your blog for a while and am sorry that I missed sharing both the hope and the hurt with you Dani. I know you have lots to deal with right now but far more blessings in life to celebrate both now and in the future.

  24. There’s nothing I can add that others haven’t said. I’ve been away from your blog for a while and am sorry that I missed sharing both the hope and the hurt with you Dani. I know you have lots to deal with right now but far more blessings in life to celebrate both now and in the future.

  25. I’m sorry I missed this post. You are handling this with so much grace, but I’m sure it must be hard for you, and I’m very sad to hear of it.

  26. I’m sorry I missed this post. You are handling this with so much grace, but I’m sure it must be hard for you, and I’m very sad to hear of it.

  27. Oh Dani, I have been behind in my blog reading and am just visiting. I am so sorry, but I am glad that it sounds like a peaceful kind of goodbye. ((hugs))

  28. Oh Dani, I have been behind in my blog reading and am just visiting. I am so sorry, but I am glad that it sounds like a peaceful kind of goodbye. ((hugs))

  29. Dani,
    I’m sorry it didn’t work. I can totally relate to those feelings. I would wave to my frosties when bringing our older two to the orthodontists once a month for 2 years. The hardest part was driving by the first time they weren’t there anymore and I cried then.
    I believe that fate plays a bg part in our lives. Take care,
    Brenda

  30. Dani,
    I’m sorry it didn’t work. I can totally relate to those feelings. I would wave to my frosties when bringing our older two to the orthodontists once a month for 2 years. The hardest part was driving by the first time they weren’t there anymore and I cried then.
    I believe that fate plays a bg part in our lives. Take care,
    Brenda

  31. Dani, my heart breaks for you. I had such hopes for the two of us together and it seems to have turned out the opposite. Big hugs and squeezes.

  32. Dani, my heart breaks for you. I had such hopes for the two of us together and it seems to have turned out the opposite. Big hugs and squeezes.

  33. I’m so sorry, Dani. This is a beautiful post. I wish things could have turned out differently for you and your family.
    Just catching up on my Bloglines arrears, after a 3 week vacation and 2 weeks of busy-ness since we got home. You’ve been busy posting up a storm!
    With my sympathy, and best wishes,

  34. I’m so sorry, Dani. This is a beautiful post. I wish things could have turned out differently for you and your family.
    Just catching up on my Bloglines arrears, after a 3 week vacation and 2 weeks of busy-ness since we got home. You’ve been busy posting up a storm!
    With my sympathy, and best wishes,

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *