Coincidence?

Do you think it’s a coincidence that we finally decided to stumbled into going ahead with our frosty in the very same week I registered Tristan for kindergarten? Surely there’s no correlation there…

For some reason, I was surprised by the big sheaf of paperwork I had to complete for Tristan’s enrolment. There were immunization papers, tax roll papers, transportation papers, and the school board application form. The one form that raised my eyebrows was from the school itself. It had all the usual information – date of birth, parent names, emergency contact, etc. But then it had a section with questions about the child’s abilities: can he dress himself, work buttons and zippers by himself, go to the bathroom by himself. So I completed those, understanding that they want to have an idea of his capabilities but also thinking that even though in February he might still need some help with buttons and zippers, I’m guessing in September he’ll be a lot more capable.

Then there was a small section with a bunch of adjectives, and you were supposed to check off the ones that apply to your child. Things like sensitive, curious, willful, artistic, independent.

Is he sensitive? No, of course not. I mean, yes… but in a good way. Could you please tell me the right answer here?

Is he stubborn? Absolutely. Well, sometimes. I mean, no more than usual. Um, can I please have another paper, I made a mess of this one.

And then there’s three blank lines underneath the question, “Is there anything else we should know?” Only three lines? How about I just append my blog? Okay, the short version. He’s sweet, he’s very bright and extremely verbal, and although he doesn’t like to share with his brother on most days, he’s very kindhearted and generous. He’s very empathetic, except sometimes he’s a little self-centred. I mean, he’s three. And he knows his letters and can count to 100, and he knows the obscure colours like fuscia and charcoal. He can put his own boots on, but he often chooses not to. (What do you mean I’m out of space, I didn’t get to the part about the trains, or the bathroom, or… or…)

I really should have just left that whole section blank. It’s not up to me anymore, it’s up to Tristan to make his own way. My labels, however carefully worded to prop up his self-esteem and make him seem like an ideal little learner, can’t possibly describe the complex bundle of wonder and contradictions that is Tristan.

I don’t want to prejudice their perception of him with my words, my thoughts, my observations. I want them to know Tristan on Tristan’s terms. He’ll shine, and they’ll love him. I have no doubt.

I can’t draw a deep breath when I think of the precipice on which we are standing. School is the conduit that will lead him toward his future, to guide him and encourage him and shape him. In just a few months, he will take his first steps on a long road that will lead to adulthood. And away from me.

I’m not ready.

Author: DaniGirl

Canadian. storyteller, photographer, mom to 3. Professional dilettante.

20 thoughts on “Coincidence?”

  1. Waaaah Waaaah Waaah you made me cry!!
    Beautiful post, and also very amusing about needing more blanks space. I couldn’t agree with you more on wanting his teachers to get to know Tristan on his terms – very well put.
    School?? Already???

  2. Waaaah Waaaah Waaah you made me cry!!
    Beautiful post, and also very amusing about needing more blanks space. I couldn’t agree with you more on wanting his teachers to get to know Tristan on his terms – very well put.
    School?? Already???

  3. I did the same thing yesterday…Enrolled nathan for 5 year old kindergarten. BUT since I have a kid in the system I only had two sheets to fill in.
    I didn’t need the proof that I had Englsih education in Canada or Quebec. And those questionaires about what type of kid you think he is…He can change between today and tomorrow. Nathan can be artistic but he also Willful and LOVING… so I say Quoi?
    Yup let them love Tristan on Tristan terms.
    I’m not ready either but apparently he is…
    But I’m so not ready…did I mention that?
    MOSACU
    Mom’s of School Age Children Unite.

  4. I did the same thing yesterday…Enrolled nathan for 5 year old kindergarten. BUT since I have a kid in the system I only had two sheets to fill in.
    I didn’t need the proof that I had Englsih education in Canada or Quebec. And those questionaires about what type of kid you think he is…He can change between today and tomorrow. Nathan can be artistic but he also Willful and LOVING… so I say Quoi?
    Yup let them love Tristan on Tristan terms.
    I’m not ready either but apparently he is…
    But I’m so not ready…did I mention that?
    MOSACU
    Mom’s of School Age Children Unite.

  5. Good Lord! Honey, I feel for ya! When did he get old enough for this? Didn’t you just announce his birth? Well, if you can’t stop time. No one can. Not even me. Uh oh.
    The sad thing is I just filled out similar papers to send Amelia to daycare. Volumes on her eating habits, sleeping habits, play habits, behaviour, how would I like them to correct her when she does not “behave in a fashion that is conducive to a calm and happy environment for the other children”? What? There are other children? And they have needs? Pffft!
    I must have filled out 10 sheets, front and back. I wanted to give very careful instructions and a wonderful description of my child. Barely a year old and she has already laid out herself in her own terms. She has a plum spot with the daycare provider. She must have her complete and undivided attention. Most days she is quite successful at doing just that. She is my daughter after all. I just can’t believe she’s not a Leo.

  6. Good Lord! Honey, I feel for ya! When did he get old enough for this? Didn’t you just announce his birth? Well, if you can’t stop time. No one can. Not even me. Uh oh.
    The sad thing is I just filled out similar papers to send Amelia to daycare. Volumes on her eating habits, sleeping habits, play habits, behaviour, how would I like them to correct her when she does not “behave in a fashion that is conducive to a calm and happy environment for the other children”? What? There are other children? And they have needs? Pffft!
    I must have filled out 10 sheets, front and back. I wanted to give very careful instructions and a wonderful description of my child. Barely a year old and she has already laid out herself in her own terms. She has a plum spot with the daycare provider. She must have her complete and undivided attention. Most days she is quite successful at doing just that. She is my daughter after all. I just can’t believe she’s not a Leo.

  7. Aww, Dani. That ‘away from me’ made me so sad. It’ll be okay. I promise. Just don’t ever let them move away. Offer them some free property right next door or something!
    Good luck with the paperwork. I wouldn’t spend too much time on it; I don’t think they pay too much attention to it anyway.

  8. Aww, Dani. That ‘away from me’ made me so sad. It’ll be okay. I promise. Just don’t ever let them move away. Offer them some free property right next door or something!
    Good luck with the paperwork. I wouldn’t spend too much time on it; I don’t think they pay too much attention to it anyway.

  9. All those forms they make you fill out make me snicker, how much of it do they really pay attention to and putting labels on a preschooler, what an absurd idea! that’s their job, the educators, they can figure them out on their own.
    Loved what big sis’ teacher told us at the first parent interview this year, she refuses to look at the kids previous report cards before she gets them in her class so that she can start them off on a “clean slate” and make her own judgment as she goes along. Very wise woman.
    This going to school phase is a big one filled with trepidation for you and him yet there’ll be fun times too. Your life will start revolving around the school’s schedule and activities, get involved as much as you can so you can know who’s in the class and what kind of dynamics are going on. You’ll glow with pride when he comes home with special projects he undertook while there. You’ll organize things together, like special objects to bring, and you’ll “learn” right alongside him.
    Last night I attended an information session for big sis who’s in the process of choosing her high school for next year. So I’m right where you are, forms to fill, trepidation at seeing her go to the big school, not ready to see her embark on that road towards adulthood 🙁

  10. All those forms they make you fill out make me snicker, how much of it do they really pay attention to and putting labels on a preschooler, what an absurd idea! that’s their job, the educators, they can figure them out on their own.
    Loved what big sis’ teacher told us at the first parent interview this year, she refuses to look at the kids previous report cards before she gets them in her class so that she can start them off on a “clean slate” and make her own judgment as she goes along. Very wise woman.
    This going to school phase is a big one filled with trepidation for you and him yet there’ll be fun times too. Your life will start revolving around the school’s schedule and activities, get involved as much as you can so you can know who’s in the class and what kind of dynamics are going on. You’ll glow with pride when he comes home with special projects he undertook while there. You’ll organize things together, like special objects to bring, and you’ll “learn” right alongside him.
    Last night I attended an information session for big sis who’s in the process of choosing her high school for next year. So I’m right where you are, forms to fill, trepidation at seeing her go to the big school, not ready to see her embark on that road towards adulthood 🙁

  11. Well now I’m scared to open my package! I went to an information session last night, but it confirmed my decision to have my Tristan wait a year.
    I anxiously await reports on your Tristan’s adventures in Kindergarten. I’m sure every little adventure will be thoroughly blogged…….yippeee!!

  12. Well now I’m scared to open my package! I went to an information session last night, but it confirmed my decision to have my Tristan wait a year.
    I anxiously await reports on your Tristan’s adventures in Kindergarten. I’m sure every little adventure will be thoroughly blogged…….yippeee!!

  13. Those papers and all they represent are daunting. There’s no way you could ever cover everything about your child on a single sheet of paper — or even a sheaf! But I love how you say “it’s time for Tristan to make his own way.” Of course you’ll be there by his side, and of course the teachers will love him.

  14. Those papers and all they represent are daunting. There’s no way you could ever cover everything about your child on a single sheet of paper — or even a sheaf! But I love how you say “it’s time for Tristan to make his own way.” Of course you’ll be there by his side, and of course the teachers will love him.

  15. My favorite thing about the paperwork was that they sent it to us TWO WEEKS before they need it back. And we are supposed to have forms from our doctor’s office included. Yikes! Thanks a lot, guys.

  16. My favorite thing about the paperwork was that they sent it to us TWO WEEKS before they need it back. And we are supposed to have forms from our doctor’s office included. Yikes! Thanks a lot, guys.

  17. Quark is really yummy, a mix between thick cream, sour cream and cream cheese adn yogourt. You can eat it like yogurt, or on bread like cream cheese of a dip like sour cream…and like all dairy products the higher the fat, the yummier it tastes.
    In France it is called Fromage Frais

  18. Quark is really yummy, a mix between thick cream, sour cream and cream cheese adn yogourt. You can eat it like yogurt, or on bread like cream cheese of a dip like sour cream…and like all dairy products the higher the fat, the yummier it tastes.
    In France it is called Fromage Frais

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