I would like to ask you all a question, but first a caveat. This is likely to be a sensitive topic with strong feelings on either side – which is why I’d like to examine it. I’d like to make a special effort here to ask you to be respectful in your comments. Not that I really need to — you are all considerate and thoughtful nomatter what the topic — but I don’t want this to seem like a post designed to stir things up, merely to have a chat about something that I found curious.
Having said that…
Almost every Sunday morning, we have breakfast with another family also challenged by blessed with three boys. Yesterday, we were placing our order when a very large group, a group that seemed to be a hockey team or something similar, settled into a long table behind us. Because there were so many of us, and so many more of them, we pretty much took up the whole section of small, pub-style restaurant.
As the server brought out our food, my friend asked for some peanut butter and the server explained to her that the party at the next table had asked that no peanut butter be used in the restaurant while they were there because of severe peanut allergies.
We were, to be honest, very surprised. I am used to allergy concerns from schools and from friends, but I can’t say that I’ve ever heard of anyone asking an entire restaurant to deny their patrons peanut butter during a Sunday-morning breakfast rush. We complied, of course. We are blessed to be largely free from allergies, and doing without peanut butter through one breakfast is a hardship we are quite able to endure — although there was some moaning and complaining from our, erm, peanut gallery.
On the other hand, we wondered why someone who is so at risk and so sensitive to peanuts would even come in to a restaurant that serves almost every plate with a side of toast.
It must be exhausting to be so vigilant, and I have nothing but sympathy for the parent and the child, but it does make me wonder how far we should be expected to go to accomodate those with these kinds of severe allergies. I honestly don’t mind packing nut-free lunches and snacks, and we managed to choke down our toast laden only with jam. But is it really reasonable to ask an entire restaurant to pass on the peanut butter due to one child’s allergies?
I don’t even know the answer. I suspect if it were my child, the answer would be “hell, yes!” But then, I would also be embarrassed about the imposition. And, to be honest? If it were me, think I’d just avoid going out for breakfast.
What do you think?
Oh, and by the way, a friend of mine has recently been inducted into allergy hell with her one year old and is scouring the blogosphere for information and perspectives. If you know any good blogs laden with allergy-relating parenting perspectives, can you pass them along in the comments? Thanks!
Are our fears over the top? Yes.
I certainly do not think it’s reasonable to go to a restaurant and ask to be accommodated in this way. THE WHOLE RESTAURANT??! Good lord. Like you, if I was the allergic one I would also be embarrassed to make that kind of huge imposition on so many others.
Besides, how can that restaurant promise to be peanut free?
In a restaurant? I would be a little miffed. There are so many physical issues we are plagued with as humans and we have to find a way to live with them, even if it means denying certain things. I can’t eat a lot of foods, not an allergy, just intolerance. My son can’t eat much gluten. But it makes our social life difficult and we can’t eat out much. Bring your own food, or eat at home. So you cope. If I had a kid who couldn’t eat peanut butter, I would not expect others to change for my child. The child would learn to cope with missing breakfasts at restaurants or eating in many places. Many people have to cope with so many other issues. Asthma. Sugar. Disabilities. etc. Would I feel comfortable sending my allergic kid to a restaurant where there might be smears of old peanut butter on the table?? Not likely. Or to a potluck where there is the CHANCE of peanut butter contamination? No way. (We just dealt with this one on the weekend…..attended a no-peanut potluck………really……..who would go near a potluck with a peanut allergy??) Yet some people with peanut allergies seem to think everyone should accomodate them and take the chance that everyone WILL accomodate them…….who knows if a peanut-free situation is really peanut free???
Me? I’m fine with the idea of the group requesting no peanut butter. I know it’s an imposition, but I think about that one child who just wants to go out to breakfast like all the other kids after a hockey game and think – hey, I’ll eat my peanut butter at home – no biggie. In fact, we rarely take anything with peanuts out of the house anyhow so that I don’t need to worry about putting a child at risk while I have a snack at a museum or whatnot. We’re huge peanut butter lovers in our household, but we only eat it at home these days.
I agree with the two above posters. Today’s reality, though, is that many, many folks expect the world to change for them, to accommodate them. This started small, and has snowballed. What is reasonable accommodation? When you figure it out, I’m sure the Province of Quebec, and every other jurisdiction would love to know!
I work with a woman who has a severe life-threatening allergy and who has had reactions caused by airborne materials, not just eating. So I can understand wanting the restaurant to not serve PB while they’re there. And many times going out for meals is about more than eating, right? Like a previous poster said, it’s nice to be able join the group once in a while… I mean it’s not like the PB is even an ingredient in the dishes.
Mind you… if I had to go without ketchup at my greasy spoon, I would NOT be happy. (Hey, funnily enough the captcha is athletes tomatoes.)
Ooh, I’m on the fence about this one as a new mom inductee into the allergy club. Is it inconvenient to other patrons? Yes. Would I really trust the kitchen to be peanut free during the meal? No. If it were me – I’d pack a special breakfast to eat at the restaurant.
I’m definitely on the fence about this. While I very much appreciate restaurants being vigilant in describing what ingredients they use in their dishes and offering alternative wherever possible (with prior warning of course), I am not entirely sure forcing every patron to comply is fair.
I have a peanut allergy and carry antihistamine with me when I dine out. However, I avoid specific restaurants because I know the back of house regularly works with peanuts or peanut products. This includes many Thai restaurants and a burger and fries shop across the river that only cooks with peanut oil. I have also educated myself on which dishes use peanut paste or peanuts. I would not dream of asking any restaurant to amend their recipes for entire dining rooms because of me.
I find it quite amazing how this whole alergy thing has gotten so big. I question people’s reaction to smelling PB, if it is a pavlovian-type thing (I haven’t read any studies on it or no any more data, just comment). When I was a kid, my cousin had (and still has) peanut allergies. It was an anoamoly. As such, it was her responsibility to be aware of her situation and avoid nuts, etc. And this was *before* epipens. Yet, she managed to survive, and besides not serving peanuts when she was around, and being aware of what had nuts, not other accomodations were made.
Now, having said that, my niece is also allergic to nuts, and she too (at 6 years old) is very aware of her situation and is very diligent about ingredients.
So back to your question. I think its a bit overdone, making the entire place nut free for this one patron (unless they are the owner’s kids or relatives). It is the owner or manager’s perogative to do what they want. I would be tempted to leave the restaurant, because, clearly, I am not allowed to eat certain foods because someone else in the vicinity might not like it. I don’t like the smell of fish – it makes me gag – but that won’t make me go to the manager and ask that no fish be served while I’m there (yeah, I know its not the same, but it kinda is).
In the end, there is no right or wrong answer. The establisment may get less business if people know they can’t eat certain things because certain allergy-enhanced people will be there. (If I have a hankering for PB on toast, and then am told I can’t have it, well, I’m out of there). On the other hand, if I have or know of very allery-sensitive people, I’ll say, lets go there, they will accomodate, and possibly maintain or enhance business.
There really is no right or wrong answer here, it all depends on the perspective and mood you may be in at the time.
Hee:)
Hi, my name is Angela and my son has allergies (I am dani’s allergy mom friend,lol).
Okay…if my child had allergies as dangerous as this child must have – and i am assuming it is airborne peanut sensitivities/allergy, giving them the highest benefit of the doubt – we would not be eating in a restaurant in a big group. my girlfriend’s daughter has allergies this dangerous and she packs her own food and does eat out, but has never requested a whole restaurant not eat peanut butter. that, to me, is over the top.
if the child is that much at risk, then a restaurant is not the place for them. what if a restaurant patron refused? and opened up a peanut butter packet anyways – quietly, without fuss…? the risk to me would be too big to take.
now, if i had been in dani’s place, we would have done our best to accomodate the child as well. really, what parent wouldn’t? but it is too risky, imho.
i have such mixed emotions about this whole thing…it is not fun being a parent of a child with allergies. however, i do not think expecting everyone else around you to change is realistic. or fair, even. or feasible.
my child, my responsibility?? i would love to think the whole village idea works well, but if my child’s safety was in question, i would not rely on strangers.
but i am also having a bad morning and may just be a little tainted.
Our son has a peanut allergy. I’m still not sure how I feel about this restaurant thing, though. I like the fact that his school is nut-restricted, because he has to go there and be there, and there’s food there, and if we can try to make it nut-free, good.
But a restaurant is different — people are paying to be there, and they should be able to get what is on the menu. We don’t go out to eat…um, at all, really! If we did, I would consider it our responsibility to make sure there was food for our son.
We don’t keep him away from the things he is allergic to. We feel he needs to learn what is and isn’t safe for him. He needs to learn to ask before eating something, and to avoid eating foods that are questionable.
I think that what the team should have done was a) call ahead and warn of the allergy; b) ask for a private room or separate dining area. Then other people arriving should have a) been warned that there was an allergy in the restaurant, and b) given the option of sitting somewhere else away from the allergy people.
A restaurant is always a place where cross contamination can occur. I can’t believe the restaurant was willing to even consider their request to go “nut free” for a couple of hours. There’s no way they could guarantee that.
Hm. Guess I’m coming down on the side of you-should-have-had-your-PB :).
Forgot to mention that the title of your post totally has me singing “Peanut Butter Toast” by Sara Harmer. I LOVE that song :).
Hmm …
My daughter has allergies, but not to peanuts.
Given the size of the restaurant, this doesn’t really seem unreasonable to me, to be honest. It’s not as though it were some ginormous restaurant full of bus tours; it was one table in what sounds like a pretty small restaurant.
While we were very vigilant with B and didn’t go out to restaurants until the severity of her allergies lessened, I’m also conscious of the social price we – and more importantly, she – did pay a number of times — not allowed to go get snack with eveyone else at a music class; having to eat cake that mummy made at a birthday party, not getting to go places with friends, etc.
And we consider ourselves lucky, because her allergies weren’t airborne, unlike peanut allergies (and some others).
I don’t think these folks were *necessarily* acting entitled (although I totally agree that that’s often the case in our sociey these days); they were probably just trying to let their child fit in for once. As the mummy who has often had to put the brakes on these kinds of expeditions, I’d just say thank you on their behalf.
(I’d even send you a jar of pb and some of my homemade jam to go with it! 🙂
My son has a peanut allergy and we do eat out, but like Don we avoid restaurants where peanut is normally used in the cooking – pretty much any Asian food (god I miss Thai), for example, and the Works, where they use peanut butter and have explicitly stated on their menu that they can’t guarantee protection from cross-contamination. Breakfast places I actually feel not too badly about as the peanut butter is usually served in those individually-wrapped packages. We regularly eat at our local greasy spoon, Cozy’s – even when he had the dairy allergy it was easy to find something on the menu he could eat (he’s grown out of that one, and we’re hopeful the peanut allergy will not be an issue in a few years)
That being said, eating out is risky no matter where we go and I always feel a little tense whenever we do it. Thankfully G’s allergy is not as severe as some and we do always carry the epi-pen. If his allergy were so severe that traces in the air were risky, well… we probably wouldn’t be going out for breakfast, or we’d be picking a place where peanut butter was less likely to be served
Dani, your friend can contact me if she wants. We’ve been riding the allergy train for 2 years now.
oh, and on the potluck issue? My friends know about G’s peanut allergy so when we’re invited to a potluck people are usually pretty respectful and accommodating. And you can always quiz whoever brought a dish. If he’s stuck with cheese and crudites, he doesn’t complain! and we know whatever we have brought is safe.
It is a bit of a tightrope, but an allergic family has to decide which risks are worth it. We may take more risks than some but I’m not too interested in shutting ourselves off from the world. Sometimes you do have to be an advocate and educate people about food allergies. And as annoying as it is to have to be “that mother”, sometimes it’s necessary. For example, we were recently at the Ag Museum and a grandparent was sitting in the indoor play area (NOT the snack area) with a toddler with a container of spread and crackers. The place was clearly marked “no food and drink”. I caught a whiff and asked if the child were eating peanut butter. They said yes, giving me a “what business is it of yours” look and I explained that we have a child with a peanut allergy. I then removed a very unhappy G from the area and loudly explained to him that it wasn’t safe for him to play there (they didn’t take the hint, but whatever).
I would react differently to this if it had just been the child’s family rather than the whole team. A family can pick and choose whether and when to go to particular restaurants, but if the whole team is going, the only alternative for the child would be to miss out on the whole event.
That said, I wonder how effective a temporary ban like that could be. Yes, they’re limiting the peanut butter at neighbouring tables, but what about in the kitchen?
My family has no allergies to speak of. I personally have no problem with them asking for the restaurant to be peanut free while they were there. If it were my child I’m certain I would want him or her to be able to eat out. I would think I would only want it more if many of his or her friends were all going together. I know my self well enough to know that I would never ask the restaurant to do this, but I would happily give up my peanut butter for another family.
I grew up with a food allergy, one that very little was known about until the last decade or so. One where teachers would accuse me of lying to get of eating certain foods at school. Strange as it is, I am allergic to raw fruits and raw vegetables. It causes itchy mouth, throat and some swelling. It has never been life threatening, but we didn’t know that when I was a kid.
My mom always taught me just to say no, be aware of what I was eating and to avoid ordering certain things, as very little was known about the allergy. As wonderful as this would sound for some kids, I always missed eating fresh apples and pears (still do).
It was always a personal sense of responsibility to know what I could or could not eat. For example I couldn’t eat natural peanut butter, as it wasn’t roasted or processed enough, but could eat the not healthy for you kind. It is something I think a lot about as we enter toddler hood and figure out if our son has any allergies. The one I have (and my mother, brother and grandmother) doesn’t usually develop until older than 2 years. How many accomadations can be asked of other people in relation to raw fruits or vegetables? Not many. If he develops the allergy I plan on using the same system my mom taught me. Be responsible for what you put in your mouth, and don’t be afriad to say no.
I think this is another time where reasonableness is the key. Did the family of the child with the allergy stress about the decision to let him go, seeing as the risk is death? Did they finally let him go and just asked the restaurant if they would comply and the restaurant made the decision to? Does that family normally avoid restaurants and just visited on this special occasion? Do we know all the background information? Not likely.
My son has a peanut allergy. So far he has not gone into anaphylactic shock, only been sick, broke into hives, brought to the hospital. We go to restaurants, but are diligent and while making mention of the allergy to our server, we’ve never requested the rest of the restaurant refrain. However, to date, we haven’t seen our son almost die, or need to use his epipen that is always in tow.
Has that family? Is that the motivation for the request? If we saw a child go into anaphylactic shock, would we then be very, very obliging and go without peanut butter and without comment on going without?
We can’t forget that we don’t see the underlying details and should react accordingly. Now, if I meet up with that family at a restaurant every night, and every night they make the same request to every restaurant and are very self centered about it…then perhaps they need to be more conscious of not putting their child at risk so often and expecting everyone around them to mitigate the risk for them. But, I don’t know that they do this, therefore I feel I can’t comment on their decision to make the request this time.
How was the bacon? 🙂
Do I think this behaviour is entitled and hubristic? Yes. I totally get peanut free schools but I can’t possibly imagine asking this of a room full of paying diners.
What bugs me most, however, is that the restaurant didn’t tell you before you ordered – or even before you were seated – that they weren’t serving peanut products right then . At least you would have been aware and could have chosen to go elsewhere if it was important to you; it’s taking advantage of your customers to serve them and THEN mention that they can’t have peanut butter. What if you had a particularly fussy kid with you who doesn’t eat anything else? Cue a tantrum! This is the part that would likely have me kicking up a fuss with the restaurant.
As a mother of a child with multiple food allergies, I have made every attempt to teach him what is safe and not safe. Even at his preschool age, he as an acute awareness of what could make him sick and knows he is responsible for himself. But I have to say, it’s emotionally tough to put restrictions (and even missing some) social situations that involve unsafe foods – but it has to be done. I hate him being singalled out as “the kid with allergies” and, as the poster above mentioned, I hate being “that mom” that killed the PB. I would never ask a restaurant to withhold any ingredients from other patrons for my child, instead opting to take him to places that are agreeable to his condition (havn’t found one yet). However, having said that, I welcome these small gestures that make a child, even just one child, feel welcome and part of the group.
I think that asking a school to be nut-free is one thing. Your kids are not going to be that closely supervised at school. Expecting a 5-year-old to be vigilant on his or her own is over the top. But a restaurant, in my mind, is different. No small children should be in a restaurant without parents or the close supervision of responsible adults. So while asking those at your own table to refrain might be reasonable, asking the whole restaurant seems kind of excessive and unnecessary.
If your child’s life is at risk because someone 15 feet away is eating peanut butter, then a busy restaurant is not the place for you. How would you know what is already going on when you come in, for instance? While you’re being seated you could walk by someone who was in the act of spreading. I don’t think that I would be willing to take that chance if it were my own child.
I can understand that dealing with life-threatening allergies presents hardships, particularly for children of a certain age. And I would accommodate the child if asked to do so. But, honestly, I would be a little put out to find myself in that situation without advance warning, on a breakfast out.
I wouldn’t be offended in any way. In fact, life threatening food allergies have become more common and from what I’ve read, continues to do so. The problem is people in general are resistant to change or they don’t think outside the box. There are lots of people among us whose licescare threatened by the way the kitchen staff decided to handle their food.
It’s up to the restaurant owner to decide how to treat patrons but I’d certainly like to see some sort of guarantee system at the from of reastaurant windows detailing their paractices in regards to food allergies.
Not cool. At all. Schools and other mass gathering places of children, I understand. But if I go out to spend my money, I do it with the assumption that I will be able to order from the menu, period. I feel for the other parents, but if the tables were turned, I would never, ever expect this for my children. (or even for severely lactose/egg intolerant me)
Maybe someone should just open allergen free resturants?
RT @DaniGirl Should restaurants deny their breakfast patrons peanut butter due to an allergy risk? Blogcasting: http://tinyurl.com/yjq9vew
I see both sides to this debate. We have family members and friends with severe life threatening allergies. Unfortunately, they do not eat out in restaurants or eat in public places for safety, and because it is not fair to expect other people to make accommodations/restrictions in restaurants, airplanes etc. The flipside to that is that the kids/family miss these “normal” experiences of eating out at restaurants and other fun outings. It sounds ridiculous to some people who have never witnessed an anaphylactic reaction, or feared your child would die from inhaling an allergen. Tough call for the restaurant since there are many ways to deal with that situation. I am glad they chose to safety in this case since it was just a condiment. Very interesting discussion, good points on both sides.
It’s life and death.
For anyone who has lost a loved one due to a peanut allergy, they would gladly suffer any imposition to have that person alive again. Including toast with just jam. Sheesh.
Put yourselves in the shoes of the kid who has this allergy. Should this child be deprived of all group social outings because of an allergy? I’m sure this child’s enjoyment of many a milestone has already been compromised by the allergy. A little compassion, people!
No, I do not have an allergy and nor do my children. I do, however, know a family who lost their daughter to an allergic reaction – peanuts – three years ago.
I understand that no one here is attempting to be petty or insensitive, but for Pete’s sake, please remember that this is literally a life and death issue for some of our friends, neighbours and fellow restaurant patrons.
We wordlessly suffer far greater annoyances in order to maintain a healthy, peaceful and inclusive society (ever taken the bus with people who choose not to wear deodorant?).
Let’s keep it in perspective. Please.
I think it’s good that efforts are made to accomodate an allergy (where possible). It would be hard to be a kid and be excluded from activities with your team/group, etc.
However….
If the allergy really is a matter of life and death, then I don’t believe that, as a parent, I would consider a restaurant a ‘safe’ place to eat (if one could have a severe, life threatening reaction from someone opening a sealed packet of peanut butter from over 10 feet away). Were the entire kitchen, tabletops, cutlery, dishes, cook and server’s hands, etc. etc. disenfected before the team arrived, to ensure the safety of the child?
I would kind of doubt all that was done, so in this case, would say that asking the entire restaurant to refrain from using peanut butter was over the top. (and your server should have told you beforehand)
My son's allergic to nuts. yes and no RT @DaniGirl Should restaurants deny…peanut butter due to allergy…?…http://tinyurl.com/yjq9vew
To clarify: I think there are two issues here.
The first is “Do you think that a restaurant should try to accommodate one patron’s food allergy — despite that food being listed on the menu and no advance warning.” Well, as a general rule, no, I don’t.
But when reading Dani’s post, it seemed like a small-ish restaurant and a special group outing for the kids, and so it didn’t seem like a big deal to me to not have peanut butter one morning. Obviously that particular child doesn’t get to do this often or Dani and friends, who are regular patrons, would have come across this before.
If my child were that allergic, I would not take him/her to a restaurant. Having said that, the restaurant owed it to the other diners to mention that no peanut butter would be available that morning. That way, the diners could chose to stay or go.
Interesting discussion. I’m not a big peanut butter person so it wouldn’t have bothered me. If it was something that I enjoyed eating though (and I likely would have ordered), I think I would have left. I visit some restaurants for specific reasons and I often have particular things I like about each one. For example, if I wasn’t allowed to order the home made jam at the local cafe, I would likely not eat breakfast there and instead go hungry or stop somewhere else.
I’d like to propose a follow up question for discussion… The debate thus far has been focused on peanut butter. Most people seem okay with the idea of going without PB to accommodate someone’s allergies.
What if that person was allergic to coffee (beans, beverage and aroma)? Would you still respond the same way knowing that you couldn’t have coffee with your breakfast?
Well, considering some people can die from the smell of peanut butter, I’m OK with it. I have a friend with a child with a severe allergy to peanuts, and I get tired just thinking of how tiring it must be for them. Sweet perks in life like a trip to Timmies or a night at DQ in the summer are out of the question for them. One of the kids in my daughter’s class has a severe peanut allergy, and I don’t understand why peanuts aren’t banned school-wide. Wouldn’t you rather err on the side of caution? Asking ppl to refrain from peanut butter for one morning of their life isn’t going to kill anyone, while *not* asking might. It’s hardly that much of an inconvinience, I mean come on!
You missed the kicker – Todd said that the kids (probably not the kid with the allergy) were tossing the little packets of peanut butter at each other as we left the restaurant. They had moved away from the supervision of the parents and, obviously, to the place where the restaurant had STORED the peanut butter packets while they were not allowed on the table. THE KIDS WERE PLAYING WITH THEM. Now, I asked if Todd had informed the server and he had not. I tried to call the restaurant when I got home but the team had already left, apparently without an allergic reaction.
and it was sesame seeds too; there were no sesame bagels allowed but we did not order sesame bagels. Just peanut butter. I do feel for the family and we did decide it was not a big enough deal to make an issue out of it but, no, it was not a small restaurant and it would likely have affected a minimum of 15 other families.
I agree with what’s been said (well most of it… too many comments that I didnt read them all).
I think that if my child had a severe nut allergy, so much so that you’d request the restaurant to not serve anything peanut-related… you’re inconveniencing so many people. I mean, good for the restaurant for going along with it, but still, they shouldn’t have. I would rather pack my child’s lunch than risk it. But that’s just me.
A couple of random thoughts about this – and I am yet another parent with a peanut allergic child. I am grateful to parents who don’t send their kids to school with peanut products (thanks everyone!) and I have travelled with airlines that have taken the peanuts off a plane simply because my family was travelling on it (thanks Singapore Airlines!). However, those are exceptional circumstances – allergic kids have to be in school, and there are often few available choices for people who want to/need to travel. However, eating out is a choice that we make and it is up to us to make sure that is a safe place for us to eat in discussion with the restaurant. I could not imagine asking everyone in the restaurant to potentially change their eating choices because of us. If that were the only option, we would simply not eat out. Sometimes it is a pain, and sometimes it is even sad for my son, but that is the way it is. We chose very particular places, we bring our own food, have people to our place rather than eat out, do something with friends that doesn’t involve food, etc.
Secondly, if the child/children at that table were so allergic that they could potentially react to other people eating small packets of PB at other tables, then they were probably too allergic to be out in a restaurant. Anyone that sensitive – an I am not sure how common this is – would be at risk of a reaction from someone having eaten at the table previously, or having a tiny amount left on an imperfectly cleaned knife. Frankly, if they were that allergic, it sounds to me like they might have been giving themselves a potentially dangerous false sense of security – in addition to inconveniencing the other patrons.
If it was a larger restaurant? Likely not, but one of the size you’re describing? I would have been miffed (I dislike the jam packets) but likely understanding.
It’s a tricky thing with the allergies. I’m sure the child appreciates the gesture, but the whole restaurant? Eesh.
Well, I’m biased in that two of my kids have peanut allergy, so I’ve spent a reasonable amount of time talking about this issue with doctors. Based on those conversations, and on research in the allergy-related journals, here’s what I believe:
You cannot have a life-threatening reaction to peanut butter unless you ingest some peanut.
You cannot die from smelling peanuts. You cannot die if you rub your hand on some peanut butter (unless you lick that skin, of course — and you might still have some pretty spectacular hives). You can only die from a peanut allergy if you ingest the peanuts.
Our allergists are the ones doing the cutting-edge peanut-allergy work that makes the national press, so I feel REALLY confident in my understanding of how peanut allergy works.
I also feel confident on this peanut-inhalation issue because my son has shellfish allergies, and you CAN have an allergic reaction if you inhale shellfish proteins. Shellfish proteins areosolize in molecules small enough to be absorbed through the mucus membranes. Peanut proteins do not.
Of course, not everyone believes this. And good luck getting them to. “I smelled peanuts, and started to have trouble breathing because of my allergy!” No one — and I mean NO ONE — will ever be convinced that they were having a (very real) stress reaction, not an anaphylactic one. It’s not a discussion worth having.
(Another slightly interesting factoid: You can go for years having nothing but a “mild” reaction to peanuts, and then go into anaphylactic shock the next time you accidentally eat even a tiny peanut fragment. There is no pattern or purpose to peanut allergy. And while there are blood tests that indicate a person’s current sensitivity to peanuts, there’s no real correlation between the protein levels and one’s reactivity. All the blood test can really tell you is your odds of outgrowing that allergy in time. So there’s one reason why parents are so scared: past experience does not predict future results. It’s frightening.)
Anyway, my experience as a parent of kids with peanut allergies makes me … skeptical … about people who want peanut-free planes, or peanut-free restaurants, on the basis of any “inhalation risk.”
So that leaves kitchen contamination and ingestion risks, which brings us to the question: do you need to ask a restaurant to go peanut-free during your visit to avoid contamination? I would argue (a) it’s probably just as easy to ask the chefs to clean their work station before preparing your food, and make sure to segregate other people’s meals from that area; and (b) if you’re that worried about contamination, you probably don’t want to trust the kitchen anyway. Because if the concern is that stray smear of peanut butter on an apron or cloth or utensil, the route by which some peanut butter reaches your plate — well, unless the restaurant has been peanut-free since this morning, and unless you are 100% sure that they cleaned every last speck of peanut butter off their work surfaces last night, you’re already taking a risk (albeit a relatively small one, I would argue — but risk assessment is a tricky thing).
The fact is, because peanut allergy is so unpredictable, it’s probably best that people with peanut allergies never eat in restaurants that serve peanuts. But most people balance the risks and the rewards.
I don’t like the title of this Salon article at all, but it does discuss the reported numbers of anaphylactic deaths in the US each year, and does help put the fear into some perspective:
http://www.salon.com/env/vital_signs/2009/02/05/peanut_allergy/index1.html
Annika, I’m very sorry for your friends’ loss. How heartbreaking and awful to lose a child.
I think it’s ridiculous. Could it really affect the kid if someone at the next table is eating pb?
Having said that, I would have cheerfully complied with jam for my toast but I would have thought it was odd.
I’m allergic to dogs. Like, really allergic. I have asthma, and any potential allergic reaction could trigger an asthma attack, and I could die.
So, I should ask the whole entire world make sure they are not walking their dog when I go out?
Or how bout I just stay the heck out of the leash-free area?
As an adult celiac who is highly allergic to pineapple (yes, that does eliminate most fruit trays…), I just wanted to comment on Robin’s comment near the top. “The child would learn to cope with missing breakfasts at restaurants or eating in many places.”
My personal experience and research conducted with celiacs across Canada suggest that while we learn to cope without these experiences, it definitely has a negative impact on life. Deciding that we should simply learn to “cope” lacks a certain level of compassion. It’s my strong opinion that it is better to try to avoid situations where we are continuously reminded of our digestive requirements. If you know what I mean.
If I were to go to a restaurant and they accomodated me by not serving anything with gluten while I was there, it would be such a fantastically generous gift and it would probably make me their best customer. And if I overheard other patrons complaining and their parents obviously agreeing, I’d be heartbroken.
I hear what people are saying about eating out already being a gamble (no kidding!) and like peanuts, I can’t get sick from other people ingesting gluten. But the potential for cross-contamination is going to be much, much lower if the allergen is not in the restaurant while I am. For instance, if your server clears away peanut butter from your table, doesn’t quite get it all off and then serves severe peanut allergy table. So I would cut the restaurant some slack. I also think it is a bit strange to be put out that they didn’t serve your preferred toast topping – when at a restaurant I usually expect them to serve me what they serve, based off the menu. If I want something very specific, that’s when I’d head to a grocery store. Really it was an opportunity to help your kids have some empathy for others that are rarely able to just eat but have to think about whether their food is likely to hurt them first and if so, whether it is worth taking that risk.
Oh, and you are right – it is exhausting and embarrassing to make sure that eating out is safe. But if you or your child ever is in that situation, I will bet large sums of money that while you might usually pass on restaurant experiences, eventually the resentment and embarrassment of always declining would wear you down. You wouldn’t eat out often, but I doubt that you would decide never to eat out again.