Eight days

Eight days. That’s how long it took for us to be called in for a meeting with Tristan’s teachers. Eight days of school.

When she first stopped Beloved late last week and said she would appreciate it if he could take some time to come to a meeting, I was curious but not overly concerned. (Of course, I also dropped a few things so I could clear my schedule and attend the meeting as well. My control tendencies run deep.)

We showed up on Friday afternoon with both Tristan and Simon in tow. Tristan took Simon on the cook’s tour of the junior kindergarten classroom while Beloved and I folded ourselves into half-sized chairs around a knee-high table and tried to look nonchalant. When the teacher laid out photocopies of a worksheet in front of us, I began to suspect this is a meeting she has with all parents. The worksheet had a section for Tristan’s strengths, areas of concern, goals for teacher and goals for parent. A few minutes into the conversation, though, it became clear that There Is A Problem.

Frankly, I’m not incredibly surprised at the nature of The Problem. Tristan is a little, um, wilful. Sometimes. The first “incident” she had listed on a separate sheet (no copies of that one for us) was that on Tuesday, she had bestowed Tristan the honour of being the helper of the day, and he threw a pout on Wednesday when he realized it was someone else’s turn. Um, pouting. Yep, we’ve seen that one at home.

The next “incident” had to do with Tristan not staying in line. Tristan only likes to be at the front of the line. We’d heard about this problem already, and were talking to him about how important it is to stay in line, and the importance of listening to the teacher.

The third “incident” was about circle time. She told us, “He’s very smart, but he has a tendency to shout out the answers instead of raising his hand.” Well, okay, I used to be like that, too. But really – we’re talking DAY EIGHT here. Give him a couple of weeks. And he tends to wiggle and wriggle in his spot and ‘put his hands on the other kids’ in circle time. Well, okay, I’ve seen this at home too, and while I realize he needs to learn to stop, did I mention EIGHT DAYS?

The final incident is the only one that really worried me. He has a little friend, whom I will call Dude to head off any possible future slander action on the part of his parents. (Hey, I read Suburban Bliss.) Tristan talks about Dude constantly; you’d think there were no other kids in his class. Well, apparently earlier in the week, Dude’s mother sent a note to school saying that Tristan had been calling Dude names like “poopy head” and that Dude felt intimidated by Tristan.

My first reaction was gut-wrenching shame. My child intimidating someone else? After I spent my entire grade-school career being the target of choice through three elementary schools? And then I really thought about it. First of all, Tristan is a gentle soul. He’s big, no doubt – the size of a big six year old. And I’ve no doubt that he called Dude a poopy head, because he and Simon are going through that poop and fart language stage right now, and I’ve heard it at home. But to be honest, I haven’t been incredibly stringent about it, because I find it pretty harmless. When Tristan mimicked one of the older kids and called Simon a loser the other day, the whole world stopped turning while I explained that some things are not acceptable and made him apologize. But “poopy head”? Isn’t that a four-year-old rite of passage? It just so happens that I know Dude has not been in daycare, and so maybe that’s why his mother was particularly horrified that Tristan unleashed this verbal assault on her son, but I’m having a hard time being concerned about this.

In all, I’m glad the teacher called us in for a discussion. Because Tristan alternates one week in English and one week in French, this was his first week with this teacher, and I can see why four incidents in five days would be of concern to her. And she herself admitted that she had seen no further problems beyond the first day with the ‘special helper’ incident. And I know that Tristan is both wilful and boisterous, and that’s something we’re all going to have to work on. Maybe it’s time to look for another form of discipline beyond the time out. Anybody got any good books to recommend?

Through the course of the weekend, I’ve gone from shame to bristling annoyance to filing it under “lessons learned + blog fodder”. The teacher is going to make up a little worksheet for Tristan with three or four goals for him (sit nicely in circle and raise your hand to speak; hands to yourself in the cloakroom; etc.), and each day she’ll either mark a check or an X and we’ll review it at home together at the end of the day. It’s a pretty good idea, and I appreciate her efforts.

Eight days. Ugh. How long until graduation?

(Edited to add: ha ha. Today’s Word of the Day on the sidebar is recalcitrant \rih-KAL-sih-truhnt\, adjective: Stubbornly resistant to and defiant of authority or restraint. See Tristan.)

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Author: DaniGirl

Canadian. storyteller, photographer, mom to 3. Professional dilettante.

54 thoughts on “Eight days”

  1. re: the poopyhead comment.
    To us it seems like an innocuous comment. Would you be angry if I called you a poopyhead? Probably not.
    But the kids take it a different way. They don’t know the really bad insults, so they use words like poopyhead instead. For them that is a bad word. And then there’s tone. It’s all in the tone.
    I remember being teased by the “big kids” (ie. grade three) when I was a kinder.
    “Kindergarten bay-beee,
    wash your face with gray-veeee!”
    It was silly, but it really hurt my feelings. Really!
    But I’m sure Tristan will be fine once he figures out what is expected of him. Positive peer pressure can do wonders.

  2. re: the poopyhead comment.
    To us it seems like an innocuous comment. Would you be angry if I called you a poopyhead? Probably not.
    But the kids take it a different way. They don’t know the really bad insults, so they use words like poopyhead instead. For them that is a bad word. And then there’s tone. It’s all in the tone.
    I remember being teased by the “big kids” (ie. grade three) when I was a kinder.
    “Kindergarten bay-beee,
    wash your face with gray-veeee!”
    It was silly, but it really hurt my feelings. Really!
    But I’m sure Tristan will be fine once he figures out what is expected of him. Positive peer pressure can do wonders.

  3. Dani –
    DO NOT LET A CONTROL FREAK JK TEACHER MAKE YOU THINK YOU HAVE A PROBLEM ON YOUR HANDS. CALL ME TO DISCUSS. YOU WILL FEEL BETTER AFTERWARDS. If nothing else, understand that it is her role to TEACH Tristan to stand in line not to complain that after eight days he has not gotten the lesson. There are very few academics in JK/SK – it is more about learning social expectations. You have good kids. Don’t let someone convince you otherwise after knowing him for just 8 days.

  4. Dani –
    DO NOT LET A CONTROL FREAK JK TEACHER MAKE YOU THINK YOU HAVE A PROBLEM ON YOUR HANDS. CALL ME TO DISCUSS. YOU WILL FEEL BETTER AFTERWARDS. If nothing else, understand that it is her role to TEACH Tristan to stand in line not to complain that after eight days he has not gotten the lesson. There are very few academics in JK/SK – it is more about learning social expectations. You have good kids. Don’t let someone convince you otherwise after knowing him for just 8 days.

  5. I cannot relax about this. It has my blood boiling. I need to reiterate: Tristan is a good kid. Energetic and boisterous, yes, but if you have a teacher that channels that, he is excited about learning, positive about new experiences and anxious to please. There are lots of things to be grateful for in Tristan.

  6. I cannot relax about this. It has my blood boiling. I need to reiterate: Tristan is a good kid. Energetic and boisterous, yes, but if you have a teacher that channels that, he is excited about learning, positive about new experiences and anxious to please. There are lots of things to be grateful for in Tristan.

  7. I just erased a long comment I was writing to you about this and decided most of what I said was irrelevant. Don’t let this stress you – he sounds like a perfectly normal 4-yr old to me. If he’s got 2 teachers see how he’s doing with the other teacher… it might very well be her rather than him. It happens – teachers are human too and sometimes they just don’t click with a kid. Good luck. I got my first call this year on day 6.

  8. I just erased a long comment I was writing to you about this and decided most of what I said was irrelevant. Don’t let this stress you – he sounds like a perfectly normal 4-yr old to me. If he’s got 2 teachers see how he’s doing with the other teacher… it might very well be her rather than him. It happens – teachers are human too and sometimes they just don’t click with a kid. Good luck. I got my first call this year on day 6.

  9. Awww, you guys are so sweet. Funny, and sweet. You’ve already made me feel better! Rebecca, you should know that long, off-topic rambles are *always* welcome here, and there really is no such thing as irrelavant. Yikes, if I started editing myself for relevance, we’d be down to three posts per month!!
    Yvonne, I’m sending you an e-mail… (wink)

  10. Awww, you guys are so sweet. Funny, and sweet. You’ve already made me feel better! Rebecca, you should know that long, off-topic rambles are *always* welcome here, and there really is no such thing as irrelavant. Yikes, if I started editing myself for relevance, we’d be down to three posts per month!!
    Yvonne, I’m sending you an e-mail… (wink)

  11. Completely normal little boy. I think I mentioned it in a comment on an earlier post – you should read “The Minds of Boys” by Michael Gurian. I have two boys. This is how boys are. I’ve often found that I’ve had the most trouble with teachers who either have no children or who have only daughters. I really think the book should be required reading. In general, school is set up in such a way that supports the way that girls learn and not so much for the way boys learn. Granted, this does not apply to every single child, but it applies to my boys and it was good to read about it and to see that I’m not alone!!
    And poopy-head? Yeah, that’s normal conversation at my house. The latest has been “fart monkey”. Boys. You gotta love ’em!!

  12. Completely normal little boy. I think I mentioned it in a comment on an earlier post – you should read “The Minds of Boys” by Michael Gurian. I have two boys. This is how boys are. I’ve often found that I’ve had the most trouble with teachers who either have no children or who have only daughters. I really think the book should be required reading. In general, school is set up in such a way that supports the way that girls learn and not so much for the way boys learn. Granted, this does not apply to every single child, but it applies to my boys and it was good to read about it and to see that I’m not alone!!
    And poopy-head? Yeah, that’s normal conversation at my house. The latest has been “fart monkey”. Boys. You gotta love ’em!!

  13. I’m with the other folks. I, too, have a energetic, excited and curious son. We haven’t done a lot fo group activites in the community becasue of the serious regimentation they require of toddlers and preschoolers.
    I just don’t go in for that kind of conformity and neither does my son. And, frankly, at this age (Kieran is 3.5, we’re looking at starting Kindergarten next fall) I’m not entirely sure all kids are capable of sittng still or waiting turns or reigning in their affection for other kids.
    I would definitely take this with a grain of salt and echo Yvonne’s comment that this teacher is the one who is supposed to teach your son how to sit in circle time and excercise self-control.
    I would’ve asked her about how much time she spends on teaching the rules she requires the kids to follow?

  14. I’m with the other folks. I, too, have a energetic, excited and curious son. We haven’t done a lot fo group activites in the community becasue of the serious regimentation they require of toddlers and preschoolers.
    I just don’t go in for that kind of conformity and neither does my son. And, frankly, at this age (Kieran is 3.5, we’re looking at starting Kindergarten next fall) I’m not entirely sure all kids are capable of sittng still or waiting turns or reigning in their affection for other kids.
    I would definitely take this with a grain of salt and echo Yvonne’s comment that this teacher is the one who is supposed to teach your son how to sit in circle time and excercise self-control.
    I would’ve asked her about how much time she spends on teaching the rules she requires the kids to follow?

  15. And one more thing…to reiterate what Yvonne said. It’s her job to TEACH him. Hello? We had a lot of trouble with my oldest in first grade. The teacher came to us with all of these complaints. I said something like “well, I’m not here during the day so it’s going to be up to you to teach him how to act.” UGH. He was 6 for crying out loud!! I think she wanted them all to act like little adults.

  16. And one more thing…to reiterate what Yvonne said. It’s her job to TEACH him. Hello? We had a lot of trouble with my oldest in first grade. The teacher came to us with all of these complaints. I said something like “well, I’m not here during the day so it’s going to be up to you to teach him how to act.” UGH. He was 6 for crying out loud!! I think she wanted them all to act like little adults.

  17. I don’t mean to take sides, and I’m a Libra so I see both sides. I know Tristan and he is a sweet boy, curious, and smart. But kindergarten is ALL about learning to listen and get along with others, and I don’t expect he is any different than most of the other kids.
    Could it be that the teacher was trying to open up the lines of communication? Maybe just letting you know where things stood with him relative to the others in the class? Having had the oppposite experience (i.e. teacher not caring), I would much rather be advised early rather than later. With our 2nd child, I could tell things weren’t right at school (crying himself to sleep in Grade 5), and I had to beg for an appointment to meet her. When we finally talked she said “he was below average, but so was most of the class so it didn’t matter”.
    As for Poopy head, Tristan is not malicious or offensive or mean, so he didn’t intend to hurt anyone’s feelings. He just hasn’t learned yet that some people’s feelings can get hurt – this is a common topic of conversation in our house.
    We love Tristan – don’t interpret this as a sign of a troublesome student – he’s just a normal 4 year old boy, and listening/sitting will be much easier by June.

  18. I don’t mean to take sides, and I’m a Libra so I see both sides. I know Tristan and he is a sweet boy, curious, and smart. But kindergarten is ALL about learning to listen and get along with others, and I don’t expect he is any different than most of the other kids.
    Could it be that the teacher was trying to open up the lines of communication? Maybe just letting you know where things stood with him relative to the others in the class? Having had the oppposite experience (i.e. teacher not caring), I would much rather be advised early rather than later. With our 2nd child, I could tell things weren’t right at school (crying himself to sleep in Grade 5), and I had to beg for an appointment to meet her. When we finally talked she said “he was below average, but so was most of the class so it didn’t matter”.
    As for Poopy head, Tristan is not malicious or offensive or mean, so he didn’t intend to hurt anyone’s feelings. He just hasn’t learned yet that some people’s feelings can get hurt – this is a common topic of conversation in our house.
    We love Tristan – don’t interpret this as a sign of a troublesome student – he’s just a normal 4 year old boy, and listening/sitting will be much easier by June.

  19. This is me rolling my eyes. He’s FOUR. The teacher needs to have a conference with you because he doesn’t love taking turns or staying in line? Watch my eyes roll again.
    No, I mean, it’s good that the teacher is telling you these things so that you can work on them with him. But if she gave you any reason to feel that you needed to be ashamed of his behavior or your parenting? These are my eyes rolling all the way back into my head again. He’s FOUR!

  20. This is me rolling my eyes. He’s FOUR. The teacher needs to have a conference with you because he doesn’t love taking turns or staying in line? Watch my eyes roll again.
    No, I mean, it’s good that the teacher is telling you these things so that you can work on them with him. But if she gave you any reason to feel that you needed to be ashamed of his behavior or your parenting? These are my eyes rolling all the way back into my head again. He’s FOUR!

  21. I’ve read a couple of posts like this lately and I’m just stupefied. I would be amazed if children in JK WEREN’T calling each other “poopy-head,” talking without raising a hand first, and getting upset occasionally as they learn the rules in their new environment (like the rotating helper rule).
    We’re one year away from JK and Bub is so far from the level of behaviour your teacher seems to be expecting that I would be feeling pretty scared right if I were able to persuade myself to even believe what I’m reading. (Not that I think you’re lying – my mind just refuses to accept something this ludicrous.)
    Maybe, as others have suggested, she’s just taking the opportunity to get you on board with the ideas she’s trying to teach. Kind of like a grade one teacher saying “this fall we’re going to focus on addition and subtraction skills.”

  22. I’ve read a couple of posts like this lately and I’m just stupefied. I would be amazed if children in JK WEREN’T calling each other “poopy-head,” talking without raising a hand first, and getting upset occasionally as they learn the rules in their new environment (like the rotating helper rule).
    We’re one year away from JK and Bub is so far from the level of behaviour your teacher seems to be expecting that I would be feeling pretty scared right if I were able to persuade myself to even believe what I’m reading. (Not that I think you’re lying – my mind just refuses to accept something this ludicrous.)
    Maybe, as others have suggested, she’s just taking the opportunity to get you on board with the ideas she’s trying to teach. Kind of like a grade one teacher saying “this fall we’re going to focus on addition and subtraction skills.”

  25. yuk! infant teachers are so pious and controlling sometimes. no wonder boys get turned off school … tristan sounds like a good laugh to me.

  26. yuk! infant teachers are so pious and controlling sometimes. no wonder boys get turned off school … tristan sounds like a good laugh to me.

  27. I agree that having the meeting is a good thing, and you can now work on things together.
    But, what’s gonna happen the first time some kid in her class tells someone to “Shut up” or even “Fuck off” do they expel Jr. Kindergarterners?

  28. I agree that having the meeting is a good thing, and you can now work on things together.
    But, what’s gonna happen the first time some kid in her class tells someone to “Shut up” or even “Fuck off” do they expel Jr. Kindergarterners?

  29. LMAO @ Nancy’s comment. I figure Nathan will be saying that quite soon when someone ticks him off.
    HONESTLY 8 Freakin’ Days? Maybe after a month. Poopyhead? Ok it’s the the nicest thing he could say but he could have told him alot worse.
    Dani by Christmas we’ll compare notes. How many times we have been called in by the teacher.
    i got a note today that said Nathan doesn’t follow directions. YUP That’s my BOY!

  30. LMAO @ Nancy’s comment. I figure Nathan will be saying that quite soon when someone ticks him off.
    HONESTLY 8 Freakin’ Days? Maybe after a month. Poopyhead? Ok it’s the the nicest thing he could say but he could have told him alot worse.
    Dani by Christmas we’ll compare notes. How many times we have been called in by the teacher.
    i got a note today that said Nathan doesn’t follow directions. YUP That’s my BOY!

  31. Sarah was all upset yesterday because some of the kids said she “ate like a puppy” (huh?). My reaction was to wonder how to teach her not to react to teasing (and, I admit, I thought about talking to the teacher because the same girl seems to tease her a lot). Next time I turn around, she’s making special pictures for these same kids because she really loves them(?!) They’re four.
    My friend had the same problem with her girl & teacher re: circle time. Get over it (teacher, not you, LOL) – they learn how to sit still eventually but to expect a 4 yr old to do it automatically? Get real.

  32. Sarah was all upset yesterday because some of the kids said she “ate like a puppy” (huh?). My reaction was to wonder how to teach her not to react to teasing (and, I admit, I thought about talking to the teacher because the same girl seems to tease her a lot). Next time I turn around, she’s making special pictures for these same kids because she really loves them(?!) They’re four.
    My friend had the same problem with her girl & teacher re: circle time. Get over it (teacher, not you, LOL) – they learn how to sit still eventually but to expect a 4 yr old to do it automatically? Get real.

  33. I can’t believe you got called in after 8 days
    I can’t believe the teacher had a list for to go over with you
    I can’t believe these are called “incidents”, mostly normal 4 year old behaviors I would think
    I can’t believe this mom sent a note to the teacher about Tristan calling him a Poopyhead
    Overanalyzing JK teacher? Unable to handle noraml recalcitrant behaviour? Are they going to call you in for “all” incidents?
    oh well, at least you’ve got some communication channels open with both teh teacher and Tristan and that IS a good thing

  34. I can’t believe you got called in after 8 days
    I can’t believe the teacher had a list for to go over with you
    I can’t believe these are called “incidents”, mostly normal 4 year old behaviors I would think
    I can’t believe this mom sent a note to the teacher about Tristan calling him a Poopyhead
    Overanalyzing JK teacher? Unable to handle noraml recalcitrant behaviour? Are they going to call you in for “all” incidents?
    oh well, at least you’ve got some communication channels open with both teh teacher and Tristan and that IS a good thing

  35. Wow, a parent conference in 8 days? That seems a bit hasty! Although, from the teacher’s perspective (I am currently working on obtaining my teacher’s degree,) I commend her for noticing things that could potentially become much larger problems later on. As a teacher, it can be hard to figure out when to deal with something- you don’t want to make a big deal out of something small, on the other hand, you don’t want to ignore behaviors that could cause problems later on. Unfortunately, one never knows if harmless things like what your son is doing will “wear off” as the school year progresses.
    So as a parent, I understand your feelings- 8 days? give him a break! As a teacher, I understand her desire to take care of this now. It really is in your son’s best interest– I would say that she is probably a very good teacher, and obviously cares a great deal about her students. This is a very good thing!

  36. Wow, a parent conference in 8 days? That seems a bit hasty! Although, from the teacher’s perspective (I am currently working on obtaining my teacher’s degree,) I commend her for noticing things that could potentially become much larger problems later on. As a teacher, it can be hard to figure out when to deal with something- you don’t want to make a big deal out of something small, on the other hand, you don’t want to ignore behaviors that could cause problems later on. Unfortunately, one never knows if harmless things like what your son is doing will “wear off” as the school year progresses.
    So as a parent, I understand your feelings- 8 days? give him a break! As a teacher, I understand her desire to take care of this now. It really is in your son’s best interest– I would say that she is probably a very good teacher, and obviously cares a great deal about her students. This is a very good thing!

  37. Yep. Your shoes look familar – I think I’ve walked in them… :/
    I, too, would have been letting “poopyhead” slide. I don’t like it, but I’ve heard the kids tossing around poop and fart and all the rest and it generally seems pretty egalitarian in the wishing-of-excrement-on-people. We got a similar talking to this summer when PRimo started practicing his power plays at camp, and I just felt awful. And then I went overboard with the talking to about how to treat other people that turned into more of a lecture and got a “yeah, mom, right, can you stop talking now?”
    Sigh.
    THey really do adapt in time. Of course, over the summer, they unadapt, and then you’ll spend the first few weeks of first grade having the same conversations with that teacher…

  38. Yep. Your shoes look familar – I think I’ve walked in them… :/
    I, too, would have been letting “poopyhead” slide. I don’t like it, but I’ve heard the kids tossing around poop and fart and all the rest and it generally seems pretty egalitarian in the wishing-of-excrement-on-people. We got a similar talking to this summer when PRimo started practicing his power plays at camp, and I just felt awful. And then I went overboard with the talking to about how to treat other people that turned into more of a lecture and got a “yeah, mom, right, can you stop talking now?”
    Sigh.
    THey really do adapt in time. Of course, over the summer, they unadapt, and then you’ll spend the first few weeks of first grade having the same conversations with that teacher…

  39. Huh? I really just don’t get why any of that was reason to have a meeting in person. A phone call would have sufficed, IMO.
    Some teachers are a bit more bristly and prickly about kids and what they’ll “take” from them. Just count her as more strict and adapt from there.

  40. Huh? I really just don’t get why any of that was reason to have a meeting in person. A phone call would have sufficed, IMO.
    Some teachers are a bit more bristly and prickly about kids and what they’ll “take” from them. Just count her as more strict and adapt from there.

  41. So, at what point did you point to the teacher and yell ‘Poopie-head!’?
    You weren’t going to tell us about that part, were you?
    Hang in there. It gets easier.
    Love,
    Fart Monkey

  42. So, at what point did you point to the teacher and yell ‘Poopie-head!’?
    You weren’t going to tell us about that part, were you?
    Hang in there. It gets easier.
    Love,
    Fart Monkey

  43. Ahh…been there done that one.
    I wouldn’t worry. All kindergarteners have trouble with that sort of stuff, that is what kindergarten is for.
    Mine hated calendar time and I really understood why because his teacher droned on for 30 MINUTES. He’d yell out answers just to get her to hurry up already (lololol!)
    He’ll settle, and the poopyhead thing is totally normal too. I’d just have a discussion about words that aren’t for school (and stay away from Captain Underpants for now too). Just wait until he hears about sex, you’ll be in for it then.

  44. Ahh…been there done that one.
    I wouldn’t worry. All kindergarteners have trouble with that sort of stuff, that is what kindergarten is for.
    Mine hated calendar time and I really understood why because his teacher droned on for 30 MINUTES. He’d yell out answers just to get her to hurry up already (lololol!)
    He’ll settle, and the poopyhead thing is totally normal too. I’d just have a discussion about words that aren’t for school (and stay away from Captain Underpants for now too). Just wait until he hears about sex, you’ll be in for it then.

  47. Chiming in late here – but you want my sweet daughter to marry a boy who calls other kids poopyhead and can’t stand in line?!!? Doesn’t that go on his permanent record? Do a better job with the other one, and then we’ll talk.
    But seriously – I am not ready for these issues. Thank you for giving me so much to think about.

  48. Chiming in late here – but you want my sweet daughter to marry a boy who calls other kids poopyhead and can’t stand in line?!!? Doesn’t that go on his permanent record? Do a better job with the other one, and then we’ll talk.
    But seriously – I am not ready for these issues. Thank you for giving me so much to think about.

  49. Dani – I have a copy of the book that Liguna (sic) recommended: “The Minds of Boys” by Michael Gurian. If you are around this weekend, I will locate it and drop it off. It really is a fantastic read for a mother of boys. It helped me understand the purpose for some of that annoying behaviour.

  50. Dani – I have a copy of the book that Liguna (sic) recommended: “The Minds of Boys” by Michael Gurian. If you are around this weekend, I will locate it and drop it off. It really is a fantastic read for a mother of boys. It helped me understand the purpose for some of that annoying behaviour.

  51. Hi, I’m with the other Libra.
    When a teacher takes the time to contact a parent, a parent can feel lucky to have an involved teacher. (At least that’s what my hubby says. He’s a teacher, but for high school.) It simply keeps the lines of communication open.
    Sure, it’s the teacher’s job to teach them expected behaviours, but it’s also a parent’s job to teach expected social behaviours too. (You could have different rules for at home than at school, kinda like “outside voice” and “inside voice” if you don’t want too much conformity, which I could totally appreciate.)
    No doubt your little guy will learn that “poopy head” might hurt someone’s feelings. I really believe that kids need to learn this; emphathy is not an immediate instinct. (Cuz Poopy Head is fun to say, right!)
    Anyhow. I would certainly take it with a grain of salt, but talk about it with my child. But I wouldn’t be doing no chart thing-y!
    Julie
    p.s. My daughter started J/K this year too. She was called “a bum” by a boy in class. (Who knows why.) But she did feel hurt. I think they’re best friends now though.

  52. Hi, I’m with the other Libra.
    When a teacher takes the time to contact a parent, a parent can feel lucky to have an involved teacher. (At least that’s what my hubby says. He’s a teacher, but for high school.) It simply keeps the lines of communication open.
    Sure, it’s the teacher’s job to teach them expected behaviours, but it’s also a parent’s job to teach expected social behaviours too. (You could have different rules for at home than at school, kinda like “outside voice” and “inside voice” if you don’t want too much conformity, which I could totally appreciate.)
    No doubt your little guy will learn that “poopy head” might hurt someone’s feelings. I really believe that kids need to learn this; emphathy is not an immediate instinct. (Cuz Poopy Head is fun to say, right!)
    Anyhow. I would certainly take it with a grain of salt, but talk about it with my child. But I wouldn’t be doing no chart thing-y!
    Julie
    p.s. My daughter started J/K this year too. She was called “a bum” by a boy in class. (Who knows why.) But she did feel hurt. I think they’re best friends now though.

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