Talk to me about babysitters.
The only babysitters we’ve ever left the boys with have been my mother, our daycare provider, the daughter of my cousin (while her mother was in the house) and once, I think, an adult friend of ours. I’ve never hired the teenager from down the street, or even used a (fee-based) referral service like www.canadiansitters.ca. While the boys love to visit their Granny, I am always afraid of imposing, or that they are too much to handle. (Sidebar: how strange is it that we get to a certain age and begin to mother our parents?)
The eleven year old girl next door told me about five times last summer that she had completed her babysitting course, but I’m just not confident in her ability to keep my boys out of trouble, let alone do something like put them to bed. There’s a family situation back story, too, but mostly she just seems so … so… so young!
This seems hypocritical even to me. I was babysitting at that age. Heck, when I was 13 I not only babysat a two- and four-year old sibling set for the March break, but brought them downtown on the bus and bought some shoes for them, all at the mother’s request. I was maybe 11 or 12 the few times I babysat a six-month-old baby down the street – I remember calling my parents because no matter what I did, that baby would not stop crying.
Even though we live in a family-friendly community, aside from the young girl next door I don’t know anybody in the babysitting demographic. I guess I could put up a poster on the mailbox. How do you find a babysitter?
And then there is the minefield of compensation. The registration page for the Canadian Sitters service says, “A three month subscription to access the Canadiansitter.ca database costs $39.95. This approximately equates to the expense of a baby sitter for just one night.” Yowza! Is that right? Forty bucks just to get a babysitter for the night? Sure, it was 20 years ago, but I used to get two dollars an hour!
(Pardon me, I ‘m still reeling a bit that my babysitting days are 20 years behind me. Crap, I’m old.)
I’ve heard of babysitting cooperatives, where the parents trade nights out, but I don’t really know too many families with kids in my neighbourhood. (Yes, we live in the most family-friendly neighbourhood in the city. Yes, we are social recluses. All my friends live in the computer. I’m hoping being part of Tristan’s school community will forge at least a few new ties for us.)
What’s it like where you are? What’s the right age for a babysitter and how do you find one? How much is this going to cost? Should we just resign ourselves to waiting for the new releases on DVD until the boys are old enough to fend for themselves?
I don’t know about Canada since I live in the US, but here babysitters are charging a LOT more too. I got $2/hr myself, and my babysitter charges $4.75/hr! Insane.
I’m going to need to find a new daycare provider about mid-August, and to do that I will be calling Human Services to get a list of state licensed providers. But for my evening/weekend sitter, I just wanted a teenager, so I called the local Tech High School and talked to the Daycare Track teacher. She took my info and put out an announcement to the girls in her classes about what I needed. 2 days later I got a call from a qualified 17 yr old. Like I said, it feels like she charges A LOT, but she’s experienced, she’s qualified, and that’s what’s important to me.
Hope this helps!!
I’m not much help here Dani…I have Miranda who is 16, Plus I have family and a friend of the family who has 2 teenage daughters that I get from time to time. and $30.00 is the highest I have ever paid.
NO help here…I’d gonuts with out finding a sitter to go out once and awhile.
The woman next door keeps telling me that her daughters are very responsible at 14 and 16. And while I believe her, I just can’t do it. It’s not only the age it’s that I don’t KNOW them, know them. Yeah I say hi and how are things going, but I don’t know them. come to think of it, I don’t know ANY of my neighbours that well. I could say it’s because we’ve only been there a year but that’s not it. As social a creature that I profess myself to be I don’t really talk to the neighbours that well. Jaimie talks to the guy next door but they have their hands full with a young baby and a 3 year old.
I have been thinking about it lately and it amazes me how I live right beside all these people, share fences with them and I know them well enough to pick them out of a crowd on my street. It wasn’t like that when I was little. We knew all the neighbours and all of them had their turn watching each others kids. Of course we lived in the duplex heaven of balconville so you were even closer. We used to have block parties. Someone would drag out their “grammaphone” onto the balcony and every one would be out in the street dancing and singing and having a grand time. But it’s just not the same anymore. We keep to ourselves.
All that, and really I am cheap. 100$ to go to the movies after babysitting and popcorn. I’ll wait for the DVD and save the babysitting for our anniversary. Of course, anytime you want to go to the movies…you know we’d only be too happy to sit with the boys. Of course it’s that 15 minute drive with sleepy boys that gets ya. See you at Blockbuster!
Well, our two BEST sitters came from that canadiansitters.ca website. I split the cost with a couple of friends and we shared the password (oh shit, should I say that out loud?) But we also met two sitters with whom we didn’t click, we just never asked them back.
Here is our deal…we don’t go out often, likely only every 2-3 months. We pay the sitter a lot. She is a university student, 3rd year, 20 years old, VERY responsible and the boys love her. She can do supper, bath and bed, and in the morning Ben wakes up calling “Laura!” not Mommy 🙁
Yes, a nite out, dinner and movie can cost close to $100. How do we justify that? Well, before kids, the number of times we ate OUT in a week was at least $100, so now that we only do it about 4 times/year, makes it OK for us. A very special treat.
We have a couple of teens in the area who can take the kids for the afternoon, just to play, do snack, go to park, etc….we pay $5 / hr. I even hire him for a couple of hours when I am home, just to get some things done. Worth it to me.
Just like you said Dani, I was 13-14 years old, babysitting all ages, taking them to McD on the public bus, I even remember making baby rice cereal for the 4 month old, I think I was 14. I talked to the mother of those boys (who are now 25, 21 and 19 – ACK!) and she says she purposely reminds me what age I was when I took very good care of her 3 sons. I made $1.75/hr. I loved that job.
This afternoon we are meeting with another area teen girl, she is 16. She comes recommended from a friend of a friend. I always have a meeting with all of us together, and even a second one where she will be alone with the boys (I’ll just sneak out briefly or hide upstairs). I ALWAYS give the sitter the ‘out’ in case she/he doesn’t like the boys. I want the sitter to LIKE the kids they are taking care of. Wouldn’t bother me one iota if she said “er, um, no thanx” cause I’d rather hear that than have someone here who doesn’t like playing with my boys.
I pay her for her time when she comes to ‘meet’ us.
Does any of that help?
When my oldest 2 were young, I faced the same problems. But I knew 1 family in our neighbourhood and they had a teenage daughter, and they lived right behind us, and the mother was usually home. Perfect!
Then we moved so we had no babysitters for a while. With kindergarten and nursery school, I met moms and asked them who they liked. From there I started with 1 who later referred me to her friend; I always figured that if you were a good babysitter you would hang around only with other good babysitters (or at least be able to spot the duds!). Then we had neighbours on the street who we liked and they had 2 babysitters.
In short, I guess talking to people you like, and trusting their recommendations. I personally would never use someone that I or my friends didn’t know, but that is because of a tragic babysitting story about someone who went to our church (she went to jail-yikes!).
Once Tristan has friends from school, it will be alot easier.And I was much more relaxed when the kids were old enough, like T+S, to tell their likes/dislikes to me.
Also, you could ask your neighbour to come over to help out while you are at home, and pay her, and check her out at the same time to see how responsible she is, and how the boys like her.
Rambling now…must sleep after working nights…zzz.
ok. in my world babysitters are a must. And you now me, know my family size. my hubby and I go out minimum once a month. We pay $10(US)/hour but we have 3 little ones and my older son is a helper.
See! Here’s where your new parish life can pay big dividends! First you can advertise for a high school or college age sitter and ask for references. Second, you can volunteer for some of the youth activities and get to know some of the teens yourself.
or put out a flyer around your neighborhood that you were interested in starting a babysitting co-op. Have a fun family friendly ice cream bar meeting, meet the local families and set up a co-op.
Go ahead! get involved the pay off is great for you and your community! Think of what you are trying to teach the boys! and you might even have fun!
We have been fortunate with baby sitters. We have had one RN, two elementary school teachers, My oldest daughters pre-school teacher and one of her gymnastics teachers. All of them have been good role models.
A new neighbor just moved in next door with two teenage daughters that we think might work out. If things got out of hand, they could always call upon their parents to help.
We also went through this last summer when we moved into rural Foxboro. We didn’t know ANYONE, let alone a babysitter. Luckily, our neighbour comes from a family of 12 children and knows everyone in Ontario, it seems. She told us about a nice young woman who lives down the road who told her she’d love to do farm chores for us, look after our horses, and, oh yeah, our kid too. We tried her out on the horses a few weekends and when we came home to happy healthy animals, we were ready to try her out on our child. He loved her! He’s at the point now where he’s named his stuffed frog after her and a stuffed bear after her friend who sometimes comes along. They’re both flattered.
For your dilemma I suggest contacting the local highschool guidance department to see if they have any suggestions for students at a more mature age who live in your neighbourhood. You could post a notice with them and see what you get. You could also go to the YMCA or other organization that offers babysitting courses and see if they have had any bright shining stars.
It’s so hard leaving your children with people who seem like strangers (because they are). Once you find a suitable sitter, you could also test drive them by taking them along on a family outing or having them play with the kids at your house while you can sit back and unobstrusively observe their interactions.
You deserve some time off – you are a busy woman!!! Good luck with this one!
A woman at the post office last week offered to babysit my kids. I’ll be the first to admit that my kids are heart-meltingly cute, but something about the encounter unsettled me. I can’t decide if it was just the unexpectedness of it, or if there was really something inappropriate about it.
That said, we are helplessly babysitter-challenged. We can’t use my parents, for safety reasons, and don’t want to inconvenience my husband’s parents. Maybe twice a year my husband’s sister takes the kids for a few hours while we go out for dinner. We had a teenage babysitter for awhile, but she seemed totally overwhelmed by both children, and we never left her alone with them. Nor did the experience make us feel terribly enthusiastic about finding another teenager to take her place when she went on to college.
But like everyone else has said, how ironic is it that I won’t trust a teenager with my children when I had a regular, weekly babysitting job at 13? On second thought, maybe that’s why I don’t trust a teenager….
Call one of the local high schools and ask to speak the the guidance councilors. They might have some ideas for you and might be able to recommend some of the students!
Dani, I am not the greatest help as I do have family so close to me. That being said, I know of a certain 14 year old Stepson who got his babysitting course last year. He actually lives closer to you than to me. I will say he has never even stayed here with J alone, but he gives me the time I need to do stuff while watching J for an afternoon. If I did need to leave J with him, I would and could, the opportunity just hasn’t arrived…yet. (My neighbours son also babysits, if I was ever, ever in a pinch)
I was just coming back to ask if Beachmama’s stepson had done his course. I have a 15 y.o. teen boy in the neighbourhood who comes to play with my boys while I can get stuff done around the house, or even a quick 30 minute errand. Not a bad idea. ???
Ooo, Beachmama – we might be interested in a “Daddy’s helper” this summer! We must talk!
11 years old is just too young, IMO. Especially for the age of your children.
When we lived in Stittsville, the 14 year old girl across the street babysat for us a lot. But we knew her very very well and her parents were across the street the whole time. We paid her $8/hour, but we have four kids. $4 an hour seems to be the going fair rate now. I was always told half of minimum wage if you’re unsure.
A few friends have had luck calling guidance counsellors at local high schools and asking for responsible students.
We found our awesome babysitter by asking the local community association president (she has three kids under the age of five). And, wow, I have never seen someone so reluctant to give up information in my life. But she did, and I thank her every time I see her. Charlie LOVES her, and having a good babysitter has changed our lives! (Our families live five hours away.) We did a trial run with her while I was in the house, and it went well. I think she’s about 15 or so, and we pay about $5-6 an hour.
babysitters for us: mostly both set of grandparents for overnight affairs which are pretty rare things
otherwise, we’ve used one teenager for big sis when it was just her and now big sis at age 11 has her babysitting course and I leave her with her brother and sister if I have a quick errand to run but won’t let her babysit elsewhre until sh’e a little older
as for teh twins, we use a local teenager (15) and big sis together if we go out for a few hours
Beachmama’s suggestion sounds awesome