Terrible tantrums

by DaniGirl on December 15, 2005 · 5 comments

in Uncategorized

He still has a few weeks to go, but he’s always been a little ahead of the curve. My normally placid, good-natured Simon is entering the terrible twos.

Ugh, I’d forgotten about the tantrums. I mean, I have a temper, Tristan has a temper, and Beloved has a temper (on a bad day, stay the heck out of the way!) but holy crap, this kid can pitch a fit on a moment’s notice. This is a short phase, right? Simon is the exact age now that Tristan was when Simon was born, so I guess I wasn’t paying too much attention to Tristan developmentally at this age. Wow, what a handful that must have been, with a toddler and a newborn in the house. Good thing I can’t remember it.

One problem I’m having with Simon that I know we didn’t have with Tristan is hitting. Whenever he gets piqued, he hits to show his displeasure. Any thoughts on how to deal with that? We tell him no, and we’ve done the toddler version of the time-out, which he thinks is a game and quite fun. I’ve yelled at him for it, which makes both of us unhappy. I’m opposed to the idea of spanking, so I’m forever saying “We don’t hit each other. Ever.” but it doesn’t seem to be making any sort of impression on him. On Sunday, he threw the mother of all tantrums and started grabbing and pulling on my hair when the hitting wasn’t making his point clearly enough for his liking. I was not impressed.

He’s 22 months old, so he doesn’t hit hard, but he’s a big boy and I worry constantly that when they’re out playing with their mates, my boys will run over the other kids like steamrollers unless I teach them to be gentle from the beginning.

Any thoughts?

(Oh, and it’s the last day of voting for the Weblog Awards (phew!) so if you’re feeling charitable and you don’t have an instant solution for my hitting problem, click over and cast your final ballot. No more awards, I promise!)

{ 5 comments… read them below or add one }

1 SilverCreek Mom December 15, 2005 at 2:12 pm

I don’t know what to say Dani. I had the same thing here. Nathan is still taking tanturms at times although At Simons age he used to bite. To show love or frustration. He dosn’t anymore. I hope this is a short lived phase and it will probably go away when he can vent his frustration verbably. I know it did with the biting with Nathan.
Don’t you hate it when they laugh when you are punishing them. I have to put Nathan down and leave the room. I get very frustrated myself.
Good luck!

2 nancy December 15, 2005 at 2:53 pm

I SO wish I had that magic wand for you. He is still a little young for time out, but worth trying again and again and again. Whatever it is, I feind consistency – be consistent.
Some (maybe extreme) ideas – strap him in his high chair? In crib?
I don’t know. Can you walk away? Is it safe or is he throwing himself down the stairs? I wonder if you just ignore (as bet you can) and when he is ‘done’ shower him with love and hugs and kisses telling him over and over how much MORE you love him when he is ‘happy and nice’. That won’t work for the hitting, as you don’t want to leave that unattended. Wher our guys would bite or hit at that age, I taught them how to punch or bite a pillow whenthey were angry instead of another person.
We are having more issues with such issues now, well into our threes as they weren’t so bad in the twos – payback I guess.
And of course the every popular 10 day rule, but in this case could translate into weeks, months, years?

3 Phantom Scribbler December 15, 2005 at 5:14 pm

I have no advice, as I don’t think we handled the hitting particularly well when LG started doing it (not until the arrival of his sister when he was three). But despite our parental inadequacies, he stopped hitting eventually. You’re sending all the right messages — Simon will stop eventually, too.

4 BeachMama December 15, 2005 at 9:28 pm

We had a few hitting incidents here. They were squashed pretty quick. And by squashed I mean we held him tight so he couldn’t flail his arms anymore and explained that there would be no hitting, all the while rocking and talking in quiet loving tones. So far so good, it has worked well. Now if I can just get him to stop holding onto my hair like it was a lifeline, all would be well 😉
Anna – thankfully having very little temper tantrums at this point.

5 Running2Ks December 16, 2005 at 12:18 pm

Consistency and rules, you are doing the right thing. Time away, hugs, quiet time.
One thing–a friend of mine with 2 boys noticed they hit more when she lets them play rough at home. So, she has to make them stop altogether.

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