Two people, one bed

by DaniGirl on December 13, 2005 · 14 comments

in Uncategorized

I don’t mind sharing things. We have one car, and one cell phone, neither one of which I mind terribly not having exclusively to myself. We have one TV, and one computer. I share a lot of food – if it’s not the preschoolers hungrily eyeballing my sandwich, it’s Katie the dog. In general, I’m fine with sharing just about everything.

You know what I don’t like to share? My bed.

I love my bed. The winter flannels are a rich burgundy, thick and warm. The summer sheets are a soft navy cotton that holds just the right amount of coolness to keep them feeling fresh. Every night as I pull the covers up to my chin, I am grateful for my bed.

Who’s idea was it that when you get married, you forever give up your right to sleep in your own space? I mean, sure, there are times when it’s nice to huddle in the warm aura around the person you love most in the world. But when the person you love most in the world is snoring like a trash compactor or twitching like an angry marionette, a bed of your own doesn’t seem like too much to ask for.

The boys each get a room of their own, why can’t I have one too? Hell, I’m the one paying the bills.

For most of the last couple of years, I’ve been spoiled. About the time I was six months pregnant with Simon, Beloved decided that the spare bed was a good place to spend the night. (I felt like 300 lbs of cranky water retention, my internal thermostat was toxic with hormones and I had restless legs. I wouldn’t have wanted to sleep with me either.) After Simon was born, Beloved stayed out of the room to avoid the commotion of nightly feedings on the half hour. Only when Simon was around 16 months old and sleeping more often than not through the night did Beloved find his way back into our bed at night.

Problem is, I got kind of used to having the whole bed to myself. I don’t want to share. It’s MINE!

Unless we start building additions in the attic, a room of my own just isn’t going to happen. I have, however, been seriously toying with the idea of two beds in the master bedroom. It’s plenty big enough – I think the bedroom is bigger than our living room, and most of the space is just open floor right now. We could probably comfortably fit a whole extra double bed in there and still have room to spare.

Is it weird that I spend so much time thinking about this?

I mean, if we get separate beds, do they have to match? Would we have to buy coordinating headboards? Should we get the same bedding for both, or complimentary bedding? What if we got a couple of twin beds and a king size comforter, then we could just push them together in the morning to look like one big bed for when company comes over.

Would the kids get teased on the playground because one day they let it slip that mommy has a bed and daddy has a bed and ne’er the two shall meet?

When I was a kid, I remember my grandparents had separate beds. Do I have to wait that long? Surely I’m not the only one who covets her own covers at night.

{ 14 comments… read them below or add one }

1 Mommy-Abroad December 13, 2005 at 1:25 pm

I don’t want to start rumors or anything butI personally know a happy couple who have separate beds and rooms….it’s just perfect for them.

2 nancy December 13, 2005 at 1:46 pm

OMG I am LMAO!! You are hilarious. I for one, don’t mind sharing, but do bask in the glory of having it all to myself when hubby is away (we have a queen size). I like the idea of having him there, sort of a sense of security and warmth and nudge nudge (w.h.a.t.e.v.e.r.)
I will confess though, to looking ahead about 30 years to each having our own twin bed in our little retirement community apartment.
Your idea of the twin beds – smoosh them together when needed approach my just work! I have family & friends who have king size beds who claim they are big enough that they often feel they have theor own – is that an option for you?
But if it were up to me to answer your question last question, then yes, I do think you have to wait that long. Otherwise, I’ll thoroughly enjoy calling you OLD LADY way before your time.
mwah xo

3 UberGeek December 13, 2005 at 1:47 pm

Please don’t give any ideas to my wife.
And wait it get’s better more often than not there are three in out bed, the third being 7 years of gangly bull moose boy.

4 Sugarmama December 13, 2005 at 2:56 pm

Funny, I always thought that the separate twin beds of Lucy and Ricky on “I Love Lucy” were for the sake of t.v. modesty. Guess not! My husband’s parents not only slept in separate beds but in separate rooms. His father’s snores rattle doors and windows, seriously. Is your husband o.k. with it?

5 suze December 13, 2005 at 3:10 pm

you know, i’m torn on this whole sharing a bed issue myself. until today i would have said i love sharing a bed, but after last night where the man was particularly chatty in his sleep, i’m beginning to think separate beds might not be so bad…

6 Marla December 13, 2005 at 4:21 pm

I’m right there with you, but not literally because I like to sleep alone too.
I love my dear Steve, but sleeping with him is like sleeping with a bag of hot nickels, which are huddled under all the covers with the neck in a position on the near-vertical pillows that makes me uncomfortable to even look in that direction.
I would be a much nicer person if I slept more – but I’m not brave enough to mention my preferences. I just accidentally fall asleep on the sofa watching late night TV a little too often.
I say go for it.

7 Running2Ks December 13, 2005 at 5:55 pm

You are not alone. My midwife ordered my husband out of bed at the end of my last pregnancy. He won’t let me have my own room πŸ™‚

8 Beloved December 13, 2005 at 8:08 pm

You want me out do you?

9 Snack Mommy December 13, 2005 at 8:15 pm

Whatever you say Wilma, as long as Fred is on board.

10 nancy December 13, 2005 at 9:12 pm

LMFAO @ Beloved!!!

11 Ann D December 14, 2005 at 6:13 am

Ever since I visited Casa Loma, I’ve had this vision in my head of two adjoining (huge oversized) bedrooms: one for THE PERSON WHO SNORES. One for she who doesn’t. Enough said.

12 Ann D December 14, 2005 at 6:16 am

Of course, there’s been a perk to writing the book on sleep (and depriving myself of anything even remotely resembling sleep in the past two months): I am so drop dead exhausted by the time I get to bed that people could be using construction equipment in my bedroom and I wouldn’t even notice. So if anyone in my immediate vicinity is snoring after I call it a night, I’m not noticing anymore.

13 BeachMama December 14, 2005 at 11:21 am

Go Kingsized. My Mom and Dad did it after … 37 years of being married and sleeping in a double (my Dad is a large man!). My Mom swears she has never slept better, says it is like sleeping alone πŸ™‚ Try it you may be surprised.
Beloved you are hilarious.

14 Kristina December 14, 2005 at 9:01 pm

We just got a king-sized bed, and I will vouch for the fact that they’re amazing! You can snuggle if you want to, or warm up when you’re cold (mein hublein is a heater, it’s great for colder nights), and you can really stretch out and have your own space if you so desire too: we’re both sprawlers, so that was a big deal for us. Independent coils are great too, because you won’t feel it if your S.O. is twitching. Now about the snoring thing: I don’t wake up for ANYTHING once asleep, so I can’t advise you there. Good luck! πŸ™‚

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