In which the Universe demonstrates a sense of humour

by DaniGirl on September 17, 2010 · 18 comments

in Life, the Universe and Everything

It went something like this:

*ring ring*


Hey, Universe, it’s DaniGirl calling.

Oh hey, DaniGirl! Whattup?

Oh, you know, the usual. Crazy week here, even crazier than our normal kind of crazy.

Yeah, I hear ya. I’ve been a little busy myself.

Yeah, that’s kind of why I called. I wanted to talk to you about your mischievous ways.

Who, me?

Yes, you! You’re messing with me again! You know we’ve been trying to sell the house for three weeks now, and you know we’ve been absolutely killing ourselves keeping the place in perfect condition.

It’s true, I’ve been very impressed with the improvements to your housekeeping skills. Another couple of weeks and you’ll have that whole bedmaking thing down pat.

Yeah, well, we’ve certainly had a lot of practice. With just shy of 20 showings, you figure maybe two or three hours of cleaning per showing, that’s a good 60 or 70 hours invested in cleaning the house in the past three weeks.

Sounds like a full time job.

It really has been. So, that’s kind of what I was thinking about, that maybe there was a little intentional irony on your part yesterday.

I thought you’d be happy with how that all came out!

Oh, don’t get me wrong, we’re thrilled. But seriously? When the doorbell rang a half an hour before the scheduled appointment, I didn’t even hear it because I was still vacuuming the bedrooms. It was the dog barking that alerted me to the fact that someone was on the porch.

Yeah, the dog was pretty excited. I can’t believe you stuffed her in the garage.

Well what was I supposed to do? They showed up early, and I had been running late. There were still breakfast dishes in the sink, and the vacuum cleaner was sprawled across the bedroom floor. At least I’d started by cleaning the bathrooms and made sure all three toilets were flushed!

It was nice that they didn’t make you leave the house.

Yeah, that was nice. It was kind of fun eavesdropping on them while I put on my shoes to go wait on the porch. When I heard her say, “Ooo, it’s big!” I was feeling pretty good. I was feeling a little less good about being trapped on the porch in the pouring rain on such a miserable day, though.

Well, they didn’t leave you out there for long, at least.

True enough, and it was kind of nice chatting with them. I know I probably should have just kept completely quiet, but I couldn’t help but fawn over their adorable little 3 mos old baby.

So since it all worked out in the end, what exactly are you complaining about?

Hey Universe, don’t play coy with me. You know perfectly well what I’m talking about. I follow the conventions set forth by the stager and the real estate agent and the whole house-selling machine to a “T” for three painful weeks, and the first time I accidentally break the rules, we get an offer. What’s up with that?

Just keeping you on your toes, DaniGirl. And you’d best not mess with me, if you want this conditional sale to firm up so you can move to your fancy new house in Manotick.

Um, yeah, I see your point. Okay, Universe. Thanks for the, um, lesson. I think. Have a nice day!

Bye, DaniGirl.

{ 18 comments… read them below or add one }

1 Karen at virtually there September 17, 2010 at 8:59 am


2 Moosilaneous September 17, 2010 at 9:14 am

Thing of beauty, Dani.
I can’t imagine a story told better.
Here’s hoping!

3 Paula September 17, 2010 at 9:22 am

*Conditional congratulations* on the sale. What you feel you may lack in housekeeping skills your certainly make-up for in writing skills. Loved this very creative and entertaining post.

4 Manotick Girl September 17, 2010 at 9:41 am

Welcome to Manotick. I just moved there from the Eastend, its great!
About the Universe really works. I had a short deadline to sell my orleans condo…6 weeks of agony and walking on my hands to not get the place dirty. The day I left coffee in the coffeemaker and the mug in the sink and took off to the cottage for the day where there was no cell phone reception….I came back to 3 messages from my agent asking where the hell I was and had an offer.
It just works that way…..and those 5 ‘conditional days’….they are a killer.
Best of luck! Its all going to work out….let the Universe take care of it!

5 allison-lee September 17, 2010 at 9:55 am

Yay! Congratulations on the offer!

6 smothermother September 17, 2010 at 10:14 am

keeping fingers, toes and other appendages crossed in hope of it all working out.

7 Coco September 17, 2010 at 10:14 am

By my estimation you will not have to do any housework for the next year. Hoping the sale goes through!!!!!!!!!

8 yvonne September 17, 2010 at 11:37 am


9 Finola September 17, 2010 at 11:46 am

Oh how I love your “Dear Universe” posts!
And congratulations on the offer!

10 Annika September 17, 2010 at 1:07 pm


11 Tania September 17, 2010 at 1:45 pm


12 Paula Kelly-Bourque September 17, 2010 at 2:24 pm

Love the way you write! RT @DaniGirl The most recent episode in our ongoing real estate drama:

13 Amber September 17, 2010 at 3:17 pm

Hooray for an offer! I’m thinking lots of good thoughts for you. ๐Ÿ™‚

14 Lee September 17, 2010 at 5:28 pm

*fingers crossed*

(And wonderfully told!)

15 Jen September 17, 2010 at 9:20 pm

Woot!! ๐Ÿ™‚

16 Anonymous September 17, 2010 at 10:48 pm

That’s great news!! Fingers are crossed for you!

17 2Hirondelles September 18, 2010 at 2:03 pm

Oooooooo……I’m so excited, you’d think I was the one who’d got an offer lol

Here’s hoping for a quick clearing of conditions

18 Zhu September 18, 2010 at 9:53 pm

I think if I were a buyer, I would like to see a house people actually live in. Like not a total mess, but not perfect either. Hey, we’ve all been there… who doesn’t leave plates in the sink??

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