Month: September 2008

A perfect moment in a happy life

It’s mid-morning, and the September sun shines cheerfully through the large window of the master bedroom. I’m sitting in a rocking chair in the soft light, dappled by the small-leafed tree in the front yard. I rock gently back and forth, one leg pulled up with heel tucked on the edge of the chair, Lucas cradled in my arms. I pull him close, tucking him under my chin, and the downy blond fuzz that is his hair tickles my cheek. He is already drowsy, and I can feel sleep seeping into him, filling him up, easing his breathing and mine into slow, deep breaths.

The house is perfectly still, blissfully silent around me. The big boys are off at school and Beloved at work. The day stretches ahead of us filled with quotidian minutiae, but for this brief moment time is suspended and it’s just Lucas and me in this cocoon of morning bliss. Blue sky, yellow fluttering sunshine, green leaves, blue sheer curtain, green grass, warm honey brown pine cradle and rocking chair. Even the cars passing by outside sound like waves crashing on the seashore.

Lucas is asleep, but I keep rocking, gently patting, breathing deeply of his dusty, milky baby smell. It’s a perfect moment in a happy life. This is the meaning of life.

I’m no longer welcome in the school yard

Second week of school, and I’m no longer welcome in the school yard. Well, not just me. In fact, no parents are welcome in the school yard. But, I have decided to take it personally.

I can see why the school has asked parents to drop their kids off at the school yard fence instead of walking them to the back door, as we have been doing. They have no idea who is a parent and who is not, and their first priority has to be keeping the kids safe. It’s only a couple-50 meters difference, and the school yard is supervised the last quarter-hour before the bell rings.

I still hate it. And worse, Tristan hates it. He said it makes him sad, which breaks my heart. He liked it when we hung around with him, waiting for the bell to ring. Now we kiss him off in a crush of kids bottlenecking through the gate instead of near the door where he queues up. Myself, I liked the time before and after school where I could scope out the other kids and their parents, and maybe even strike up a conversation with the familiar faces. It’s been nice being able to get to know the kids in his class and some of their parents over the last couple of months.

The funny thing is that in not traversing that final couple of meters across the school yard, we’ve cut a significant amount of our morning walk. If I’m only going to be escorting him to and from the school yard fence, I’m seriously wondering whether it’s worth doing at all. In other words, I’m wondering if at six he’s old enough to walk to and from school on his own.

What do you think? I’m torn on this one. Myself, I walked back and forth from the time I was four years old, and it was twice or three times the distance that Tristan has to walk. (And it was uphill both ways, in 10 feet of snow, and I had to park my dinosaur at the stable around the corner.) I don’t fear for his safety in any way, and I find that in general, Tristan’s a smart and responsible kid. I’m more than half-way inclined to let him try it.

But. But, but, but. It’s always the niggling little voice of worry that does me in. What if? What if something happened, what if he got lost (he can actually see the house for the entire walk and knows the neighbourhood like the back of his hand), what if something even more awful happened?

I’d be inclined to let him try it in the mornings (why do mornings seem less threatening, less full of potential mischief?) but I have to walk Simon over there anyway. It only really makes sense to let him walk home by himself after school. I’m sure he’d be fine, absolutely positive. But.

There are other options. I see tonnes of kids wandering by the house each morning and afternoon on their own treks to school, so I could try to find an older kid to escort him home in the afternoons. And I love the idea of the “walking school bus” so if I were feeling really keen, I could even try to organize something like this.

What do you think? How old is old enough to walk to or from school by yourself?

In which Papa Lou gets banned from dinner

We’re at the dinner table, and Granny and Papa Lou are visiting for supper. Tristan is talking to Simon about Madam I’ll-not-out-her-on-Blog, his French teacher of the past two years who will now be Simon’s French teacher.

Tristan: “Oh, you’ll love Madam. She’s so nice.”

Simon: “Yes, I can’t wait to be in Madam’s class.”

Papa Lou: “Knock, knock.”

Tristan: “Who’s there?”

Papa Lou: “Madam.”

Simon: “Madam who?”

Papa Lou: “Ma-dam foot’s caught in the door, open it up!”

Cringe (and subdued snicker) from me. Death-dagger glance at Papa Lou from Granny. Uproarious laughter from Tristan, Simon and Beloved.

And you know they’ll be bringing THAT one to school on Monday morning.

Food week continues: filling the freezer

With three growing boys in the house, it was inevitable. We finally bought a deep freezer. And we totally lucked out when friends had a second-hand upright freezer to sell instead of the chest-style one I had been considering.

I already love it, but it currently contains only one pot roast waiting for that first perfect fall day (see recipe below), a loaf of bread, two bags of hot dog buns (thanks, Yvonne!) and three kinds of ice cream for Beloved and the boys. In other words, seriously underutilized.

Now is the perfect time for me to be filling the freezer both with bulk items and with make-ahead recipes. And an unexpected side effect of my new Plan B diet is that I don’t rely on prepackaged foods nearly as much as I used to. Until February, at least, I have the time and the means to be ferreting things away for when time is less leisurely.

I’ve never owned a deep freezer before, so I’m not really sure how to best make use of it. So tell me, what’s in your freezer? What can I freeze to make my own life easier? And please feel free share any make-and-freeze recipes you love!

(My no-fail Yankee Pot Roast slow cooker recipe, with next day beef sandwich left overs to die for, is tucked below the fold.) Continue reading “Food week continues: filling the freezer”

Food week continues: eating according to Plan B

Hard to argue with the results. Plan B appears to be working beyond my wildest expectations. I’m down a full seven pounds in three weeks, to 184 lbs. Fourteen to go!

You know what? After three weeks, I actually do see this as a sustainable way of eating. It’s easier when I’m eating most of my meals at home, but I’ve been able to accommodate eating in restaurants, at friends’ houses, and on the run. I haven’t fallen too far off the wagon or been tempted to blow it all off, either. And there’s even room for treats every now and then.

The plan I’m on allows for 1400 calories a day, roughly divided into the following categories: 3 breads, cereals and starches (and two or three days a week should be starch-free), 3 fruits, 1 “restricted” veggies (simple carbs like carrots and onions), 7 proteins (each ounce of beef or chicken or cheese is one serving, as is 1.5 ounces of salmon and 3/4 of a cup of low-fat yogurt), 3 dairy, and 5 fats (i.e. tsp of oil, 2 tsp of salad dressing, 1/4 of an avocado, a strip of bacon, 2 tsp of peanut butter or 10 almonds.) The idea is to eat several small meals with healthy snacks in between so you’re never starving.

If you want to see exactly how I’m eating in all it’s boring goodness, I’ve tucked it below the fold. Continue reading “Food week continues: eating according to Plan B”

Food week continues: the green tea factor

Funny how I never got around to blogging this, but did you know that I give props to green tea for not only helping me lose weight after my miscarriage in 2006, but for conceiving Lucas as well?

I started drinking a Grande green tea from Starbucks every afternoon because I was looking for something besides coffee to warm me up in the afternoons. I’d heard green tea was rich in antioxidants, and I found it pretty refreshing to sip from a 16 oz cup throughout the day. Plus, as I joked with Cait from my office at the time, I just liked to think of myself as the kind of person who enjoyed green tea.

I drank it pretty much every weekday afternoon for about three months, which happened to coincide with the three months it took me to lose 10 lbs. And at the end of May of 2007 I had to quit drinking it because I found out I was pregnant. You shouldn’t drink green tea if you’re pregnant because it interferes with the absorption of folic acid, apparently.

During the summer I was pregnant, I was looking up green tea on the internet to see if it was safe to drink at all during pregnancy (I decided it was best to just stay away) and found out that there is a positive correlation between fertility and green tea. Nice to know after the fact, anyway!

And then just last month, I heard something about green tea and weight loss, so I looked that up, too. Apparently green tea also improves your metabolism to the equivalent of burning up to 100 calories per day. Over a year, that’s a full 10 lbs of weight loss, just from green tea alone. You can get green tea extract in pill form, but I don’t know about that. I do know, though, that I’m now drinking 16 oz or so of green tea every day again, and the weight is melting off again. It counts toward my eight cups of water per day, is completely calorie free, is rich in all kinds of anti-oxident goodness, and it gives me a little caffeine boost. Even the boys have noticed that my Tim Horton’s drive-thru order has migrated from “extra large, three milks” to “extra large green tea with ice cubes, please.”

Green tea. Who knew so much goodness could live in such a simple little thing. It’s also been shown to be preventative against cancer, high cholesterol and heart disease. Speaking of which, I’m off to brew myself a cup right now!

Brown bag angst

I’m thinking about it all the time right now, and whatever I am thinking about is inevitably what populates blog. Might as well make it formal. I’m hereby declaring it Food Week here on the blog. Today, brown bag angst. Later, sample “menus” (I use the term loosely) based on my Plan B diet. Might squeeze in a recipe exchange if I’m still focused enough to stay on topic.

Let’s start with school lunches. Thanks for all your comments about Tristan staying for lunch. Turns out his entire class eats in and he loves it, so that was another one of those things I worried for no reason. Again. But, now I have a whole new set of lunchtime angst.

Take one mildly neurotic mother. Combine with a persnickety eater whose favourite lunches are peanut butter sandwiches and macaroni and cheese loaf (bleah) sandwiches. Mix in one national cold-cut meltdown over listeria and a peanut-free school. Liberally sprinkle with morning chaos. It’s a recipe for school lunch disaster.

So far, I’ve hit a home run with tortillas and shredded cheese in a make-yer-own roll up and with kraft cheese slice sandwiches. The jam sandwich and the breadsticks and hummus were less well received. One brilliant tip I came across was to freeze the juice boxes to use them to keep lunches cool. Works great with disposable or reusable juice boxes.

At this rate, I’ll be packing Doritos and Lunchables by the end of the week. Save my child from his mother’s lack of inspiration — what’s your failsafe kids’ lunch?

One dead mouse

I went out for an early-morning walk last week, and on the way back into the house I noticed that one of the neighbourhood cats had left a present in the driveway. One dead mouse. Cute little thing, too. I walked into the house, and asked Beloved to dispose of the poor little fellow on his way out to work. I’m all about equality between genders, but there are some jobs that just cry out for a manly touch, yanno?

I’d completely forgotten about it a couple of hours later when I was herding the boys out of the house to go to the grocery store. They were playing outside while I loaded Lucas into his car seat, and I remembered the deceased rodent at the exact moment they discovered it. I walked out and they were both on their haunches inspecting him, and I threatened them with nasty consequences if they even thought about touching the poor thing before I could pick it up.

I came out with a ziploc bag inverted over my hand and picked him up, cringing at the softness of his fur through the bag. I felt a little verklempt myself, which might be why I didn’t see coming what happened next. Not sure what else to do with him (we don’t – thankfully – get a lot of deceased rodents in the hood) I reverted the bag around him in much the same manner as I handle dog poops and zipped him inside. I didn’t realize that Tristan was right behind me as I walked into the garage and was about to drop him into the nearest garbage bag when he stopped me with a tiny voice.

“Mommy, what are you doing?” he asked, and I knew I was in trouble.

“Oh sweetie,” I said, my heart already breaking. “He’s , um, he’s dead, sweetie. I’m putting him in the trash.”

His face crumpled as he tried not to cry in front of me and was overcome nonetheless. I think it might have been the first time he really had an understanding of the finality of death. And his first lesson on the subject? Dead = trash. Good one, Mom.

I thought about burying him in the yard and making a bit of a ceremony out of it, but I was frankly afraid it would be a slippery slope leading to funerals for squashed spiders and road kill and who knows what else. So instead we just spent a little while talking about how he probably lived a good life, and how he’d go to heaven to play with all sorts of mousey friends in a big mousey field full of cheese. Eventually, the tears stopped and after a while, I even got him smiling. I was reminded that there is a big gap between four years old and six years old, and a big difference in the personalities of Simon and Tristan. While Tristan cried, Simon made jokes. Not mean jokes, but it was obvious that the dead mouse didn’t faze him in the slightest and he was perplexed by Tristan’s reaction.

Throughout the day, in quiet moments, Tristan would speak up again about the dead mouse, and I knew he was still processing it all in his little gigantic heart. Late in the afternoon, the boys were playing outside for a while, and when I came out later I found an inscription on the driveway in chalk: “I miss you moues.”

I wish I could wrap my arms around him and just hug him forever.

(I’d started writing this post a few days ago, and never got back to it. I was reminded of it again yesterday, when we got home from running some errands and Beloved noticed that a kitten had been run over in the road directly in front of our house. I am endlessly grateful to the city for their responsiveness. Within an hour of my call, while Beloved whisked the boys off on another errand, they had come by to scoop up the gory remains. Thankfully, they never saw it. I can only imagine the trauma that one would have caused.)

In which she realizes there is more than one reason it’s a good thing her maternity leave is a year long

I was really excited about attending a bar camp event to discuss government and social media, something you might remember I was specializing in back in my other life before Lucas came along. I’d even managed to get Beloved to take the afternoon off work and take care of the boys so I could attend.

I’d been looking forward to it for weeks, and thought it would be an excellent opportunity to not only stay current in my field, but to make some good contacts, too. After all, this blissful interruption of my regular life otherwise known as maternity leave will end in February.

I wore make-up! And my shiny shoes with the kitten heels. My home-with-the-boys shoes never go click-click-click when I walk.

They were discussing some pretty cool stuff – current practices, common hurdles, governance issues. All of it very relevant to what I was doing before February, fascinating to me personally, and all of it in a very open, informal, engaging discussion. There was a great presentation on how one department was using wikis, and for the first time I really *get* why people use them.

And you know what? I totally flaked out and left after two hours. Matter of fact, I kind of left in the middle of a conversation with one of my colleagues during the coffee break. I’d gone down to get a bottle of water and some cash from the ATM to pay for parking (one thing I don’t miss — driving and paying for parking downtown. Yikes!) and when I got outside, I just kept walking. I realized that interesting though the presentation was, I’d simply rather be at home. The job will still be there in five months waiting for me, and the social media universe will have evolved again. I can make and remake all my contacts then.

February is not going to be pretty.

Plan B: Week two update

Hey, lookit that! I’ve lost four and a half pounds in just over two weeks! Yay me!!

So it looks like this Plan B thing is working out for me. I’m still rather obsessive about my eating; I’ve rediscovered Calorie Count’s online tools, and have been meticulously recording every calorie consumed and expended. According to them, right now I’m expending around 850 calories a day more than I’m taking in — no wonder I’m losing weight. I’ve read that 3500 calories burned is one pound of fat, so I’m on track to burn about a pound every four days or so, exactly the results I’ve been seeing.

This week’s neurosis was whether my relatively low new calorie consumption will harm my (already rather pathetic) breastmilk. I’m finding that I don’t even need to consume the full 1400 calories I’m allowed each day without starving. I found some great info on La Leche League’s site that confirmed what I suspected: there’s not too much you can do to alter the composition of your breast milk and in fact, your body will give the best of your nutrients to the baby rather than hoard them for yourself. Don’t worry, Mom, I’m not starving myself. Must, however, be better at remembering to take my vitamins. If you’re interested, I also really liked the Body Mass and Calorie Expenditure tool on this site, the only one I’ve found that takes into consideration whether you’re lactating or not. Also provides an excellent breakdown on what your calorie intake should comprise. Good stuff!

So not only have I lost 4 1/2 pounds, but I’m about three inches slimmer around the waist, which is where I really needed to lose it. I’m still around 40 inches at the waist (from 34 prepregnancy) and my pot belly makes me look about four months pregnant. Those darn 10 lbs babies have stretched almost all of the elasticity out of it, but it’s slowly melting back into shape.

Go me!