I never would have guessed that I’d be more worked up about Tristan going off to school all day long — Grade One already! — than I was when he went off to Junior Kindergarten the first time. At the end of June, I thought I would dance with glee when I finally sent him back to school. And yet here I am with a lump in my throat, thinking about how much I’ll miss him, miss the simple pleasure of his company.
I was so proud of him when Simon, Lucas and I escorted him to school. I’m so happy that I don’t have any serious worries about Tristan. He’s such a great kid. He found his buddy from last year, who is thankfully in his class again this year, and within seconds they were the centre of a gaggle of gangly Grade One boys. His teacher seems fantastic, and he already knows and likes her. She greeted the students she knew with a hug, and the ones she was just meeting with an effusive handshake. I think we’re in luck this year, again.
That’s not keeping me from fretting, though. Does he have enough to eat? Will he have the stamina to make it through a full day, every day? And, just to torque my anxiety a bit higher, he’s not feeling well. He spiked a fever yesterday, and though he was bright and energetic this morning, I think he’s still coming down with something. Sigh.
Who knew a house with three people in it could feel so empty? First Beloved left to go back to work, and now Tristan’s off. Simon’s integration into JK will be a little slower, but in two weeks, it will just be Lucas and I in the house. Much as I crave the quiet time and peace of an (almost) empty house, I feel sad and out of sorts right now.
I know myself well enough to know why I’m teary and regretful instead of excited to have my boys growing up and doing so well. Only a few short months until I go back to work. Whimper.
Major Hugs going out to you! I know how you feel. Tristan is like his parents he is strong and he will do just fine!
Hugs again
Hugs to you, I know how you feel! I sent my first (and only!) born off on the schoolbus this morning for his first day of JK. Making his lunch, knowing he’ll be in school all day, everyday, hit me hard this morning! I’m sure he’s having a great day 🙂 (that’s what I’m telling myself too! lol)
It’s like they carry pieces of our hearts in their backpacks, like little soggy crumpled-up balls of scribbled-on paper that smell like old bananas.
I don’t think it’s out of the ordinary to be woeful about your child starting grade 1. I have a girlfriend who’s really been struggling with her youngest starting grade 1 this fall, as she feels like it’s a real turning point in her own life, having no kids at home during the week anymore. The whole schooling deal, as I’m learning very quickly, is very hard. Way harder than I ever expected.