Grey matters

I have always vowed to age gracefully, and naturally. It’s been fairly easy; I come from people who generally age with grace. I still have clear skin, and I can pass my few wrinkles off as laugh lines.

So no collagen to pucker withered lips; no botox for these laugh lines; no tucks to breath new life into deflated breasts. I admire women like Susan Sarandon, and Meryl Streep. Women who wear their years with honour and pride. And I have kept my resolution to age naturally, and gracefully, all the way to the tender age of 36.

You see, I’ve become a plucker.

In theory, I had no issue with grey hair. I always thought a thick white streak was kind of sexy, in a funky kind of way. Hey, even überfashionista Stacey on What Not to Wear has some lovely grey streaks tucked behind her ears – it must be hot.

I’ve never coloured my hair – not even highlights. It’s a lovely chestnut colour, with a good dose of coppery highlights when the light is right. And chestnut, it seems, is a perfect foil for grey.

It has begun. The invasion of the colourless follicles.

I frankly don’t know where they keep coming from. I’ve become a grey-hair stalker, combing methodically through my chestnut locks in search of grey traitors in much the same way I imagine a mother examines her child’s head for nits. And when I do find one, I carefully separate it from the herd before yanking it unceremoniously out by the roots, at which point I feel obligated to inspect it carefully from all angles.

Grey hair is quite a bit coarser than its darkly youthful cousin. I wonder why?

And yet, despite this careful weeding of my tresses, I still manage to find long strands of it shining defiantly and weedlike in the garden of my head. (Hey, look, that line may qualify me for some sort of bad writing award, don’t you think?)

Why, by the way, are there never any strands that are half grey? They are all uniformly grey from root to end. I’ve put a lot of time into this obsession, you might be beginning to notice.

My scalp is still tingling with the last violent uprootal, observed and snatched from my scalp while I was overseeing nightly toothbrushing. I’m beginning to wonder which is less appealing, healthy chunks of grey hair or patchy spots of bald head, plucked clean as a naked chicken.

It’s a tough call…

So tell me, my fellow women-of-a-certain-age (and men, too!), to what lengths would you – do you – go to minimize the effects of aging? Hair dye? Anti-aging cream? Nip and tuck?

Author: DaniGirl

Canadian. storyteller, photographer, mom to 3. Professional dilettante.

46 thoughts on “Grey matters”

  1. You will most certainly find this one on urband legends or the like, but I have “heard” that puuling one out results in TWO growing back.
    I highlight my hair – got tired of trying to keep up with the plucking.
    TOP SECRET confession time: (says she to Dani’s recent dramatic increase in readership): a while ago I found one “down there” ACK! I more laughed at it than anything, pulled it out, never seen one since. BUT. But…I found on in my eyebrow. HolyshitIfreakedout. I panicked. Screamed. Yanked that sucker out so fast. It. Keeps. Coming. Back. Bugger.

  2. You will most certainly find this one on urband legends or the like, but I have “heard” that puuling one out results in TWO growing back.
    I highlight my hair – got tired of trying to keep up with the plucking.
    TOP SECRET confession time: (says she to Dani’s recent dramatic increase in readership): a while ago I found one “down there” ACK! I more laughed at it than anything, pulled it out, never seen one since. BUT. But…I found on in my eyebrow. HolyshitIfreakedout. I panicked. Screamed. Yanked that sucker out so fast. It. Keeps. Coming. Back. Bugger.

  3. Oh, I’ve been growing greys for five years now! I guess I started young. And I may be a freak, but I actually pulled it out so I could keep it. My first grey! What a milestone.
    OK, so I am a freak.
    I am beginning to get a few of what the cosmetics ads euphemistically call “fine lines,” but I’m ok with them. I spent so long being irritated with people who assumed I was a kid and treated me accordingly (did I ever tell you that the woman I bought my wedding dress from–the second time–scolded me for being too young? When I told her I was 24, she said, “Well you don’t LOOK 24”) that I’ve been kind of looking forward to it. Maybe I’ll be treated with more respect in the workplace. It’s still uncommon for people to ask me if this is my co-op job, and what am I studying in school? Frustrating. So I say, bring on the greys!
    (And I’ll bet you didn’t even notice my greys when we met, did you? I think they are a lot more obvious to us than they are to others.)
    So I’m very minimialist.
    But I’m a big believer in doing whatever makes you feel happy and confident. I have dyed my hair in the past, frequently, just not to cover greys.

  4. Oh, I’ve been growing greys for five years now! I guess I started young. And I may be a freak, but I actually pulled it out so I could keep it. My first grey! What a milestone.
    OK, so I am a freak.
    I am beginning to get a few of what the cosmetics ads euphemistically call “fine lines,” but I’m ok with them. I spent so long being irritated with people who assumed I was a kid and treated me accordingly (did I ever tell you that the woman I bought my wedding dress from–the second time–scolded me for being too young? When I told her I was 24, she said, “Well you don’t LOOK 24”) that I’ve been kind of looking forward to it. Maybe I’ll be treated with more respect in the workplace. It’s still uncommon for people to ask me if this is my co-op job, and what am I studying in school? Frustrating. So I say, bring on the greys!
    (And I’ll bet you didn’t even notice my greys when we met, did you? I think they are a lot more obvious to us than they are to others.)
    So I’m very minimialist.
    But I’m a big believer in doing whatever makes you feel happy and confident. I have dyed my hair in the past, frequently, just not to cover greys.

  5. i’ve been finding the stray grey hair for a while, and then last year, they started popping up all over the place. But, I’ve also been dying my hair since I was 19 – I love playing with new colours and the like. So I have no issue with dying my hair well into old age now…
    as for the ‘fine lines and wrikles’ – I come from a long line of women who don’t wrinkle badly. Even when she was 80 my gramma didn’t have horrid wrinkles (although the decade of 80-90 has brought them on.) My mom at 60 doesn’t have many. So i figure as long as I mosturize, I’m good for another 30 years 😉
    That said, you’re only as old as you feel on the inside, no matter what the outside says…

  6. i’ve been finding the stray grey hair for a while, and then last year, they started popping up all over the place. But, I’ve also been dying my hair since I was 19 – I love playing with new colours and the like. So I have no issue with dying my hair well into old age now…
    as for the ‘fine lines and wrikles’ – I come from a long line of women who don’t wrinkle badly. Even when she was 80 my gramma didn’t have horrid wrinkles (although the decade of 80-90 has brought them on.) My mom at 60 doesn’t have many. So i figure as long as I mosturize, I’m good for another 30 years 😉
    That said, you’re only as old as you feel on the inside, no matter what the outside says…

  7. My mom grayed early and therefore I started finding gray hairs in college.
    I pluck them, I color them, they keep multiplying! Yikes!
    I, too, am going to share some TMI and confess that just last month, I spotted one down south.

  8. My mom grayed early and therefore I started finding gray hairs in college.
    I pluck them, I color them, they keep multiplying! Yikes!
    I, too, am going to share some TMI and confess that just last month, I spotted one down south.

  9. I have a nice crop of greys. I sort of like them. They’re curly — I always wanted really curly hair. I don’t know if I’ll be so enthusiastic when the grey overwhelms the brown, though. But I’ve never colored my hair, either, and I’m probably too lazy to start.

  10. I have a nice crop of greys. I sort of like them. They’re curly — I always wanted really curly hair. I don’t know if I’ll be so enthusiastic when the grey overwhelms the brown, though. But I’ve never colored my hair, either, and I’m probably too lazy to start.

  11. So Nancy, are you saying that if I pull out all my hair, I should be able to fill in the thinning parts because I’ll get two for the price of one? Woohoo!!
    Seriously though, I’ve got my share of gray and I just leave them. I’m a man though and, in some small recess of my mind, I hope I look somewhat distinguished.

  12. So Nancy, are you saying that if I pull out all my hair, I should be able to fill in the thinning parts because I’ll get two for the price of one? Woohoo!!
    Seriously though, I’ve got my share of gray and I just leave them. I’m a man though and, in some small recess of my mind, I hope I look somewhat distinguished.

  13. You’re right — the grey ones are entirely different in texture. The worst ones are the really curly ones that stand up on the top of your head, giving you the appearance of a Dr. Suess character. Nice.
    It’s not so bad if your hair is already curly, but otherwise these grey ones are just out of control.

  14. You’re right — the grey ones are entirely different in texture. The worst ones are the really curly ones that stand up on the top of your head, giving you the appearance of a Dr. Suess character. Nice.
    It’s not so bad if your hair is already curly, but otherwise these grey ones are just out of control.

  15. I have one grey hair. It’s in the dead centre of my widow’s peak… the middle of my forehead. I’m keeping it for awhile. 🙂
    My husband has grey along the sides of his head, over his hears. Racing stripes, I guess. Or whitewalls?

  16. I have one grey hair. It’s in the dead centre of my widow’s peak… the middle of my forehead. I’m keeping it for awhile. 🙂
    My husband has grey along the sides of his head, over his hears. Racing stripes, I guess. Or whitewalls?

  17. No greys yet, but I neurotically check for them (and enlist help). I think the cutest thing about my parents is my dad standing with gloves on his hands, covering my mum’s grey with dye.

  18. No greys yet, but I neurotically check for them (and enlist help). I think the cutest thing about my parents is my dad standing with gloves on his hands, covering my mum’s grey with dye.

  19. Oh, Ive had grey hair for the last 15 years at least. They definitely have a different texture, coarser and never behave like their non-grey neighbours.
    First it was highlights to cover them up but then we had to resort to full hair application of dye:( I still remember finding a totally organic one to use when preggo with the twins. I alternate betweem getting it done at home, less expensive, and at a salon, more of an indulgence as in “away from the house excuse”
    Nancy, I too have that lone white hair in my eyebrow, annoying. And some of hubbys chest hair has turned white!
    As for other anti-aging methods: I use face creams with SPF religiously, always have. Would love to move my jugs back north, but may be too chicken to actually do it;)

  20. Oh, Ive had grey hair for the last 15 years at least. They definitely have a different texture, coarser and never behave like their non-grey neighbours.
    First it was highlights to cover them up but then we had to resort to full hair application of dye:( I still remember finding a totally organic one to use when preggo with the twins. I alternate betweem getting it done at home, less expensive, and at a salon, more of an indulgence as in “away from the house excuse”
    Nancy, I too have that lone white hair in my eyebrow, annoying. And some of hubbys chest hair has turned white!
    As for other anti-aging methods: I use face creams with SPF religiously, always have. Would love to move my jugs back north, but may be too chicken to actually do it;)

  21. The old mares started showing up in my locks about two years ago. Although I won’t pluck (2 pregnancies really thinned me out) the thinned amount of hair that I have left, I firmly believe in a good highlight job 🙂

  22. The old mares started showing up in my locks about two years ago. Although I won’t pluck (2 pregnancies really thinned me out) the thinned amount of hair that I have left, I firmly believe in a good highlight job 🙂

  23. Ok, stop it I’m starting to feel really old. I don’t consider myself old. My mom is old not me.
    When I first found grey hairs I thought the were shiny blond highlights. I guess I’m good at living in denial. After having 2 babies in 18 months, my husband told me that I had a bald spot. I laughed. I said he was the one losimg his hair. Until he got a mirror and showed me the perfect circular bald spot the size of a quarter. Turns out it was my body’s response to stress. And when the hair grew in again I had one short curly piece of hair that stuck out until it grew as long as the rest.
    Yep, queen of denial. I have shiny highlights and I am never greying down south!

  24. Ok, stop it I’m starting to feel really old. I don’t consider myself old. My mom is old not me.
    When I first found grey hairs I thought the were shiny blond highlights. I guess I’m good at living in denial. After having 2 babies in 18 months, my husband told me that I had a bald spot. I laughed. I said he was the one losimg his hair. Until he got a mirror and showed me the perfect circular bald spot the size of a quarter. Turns out it was my body’s response to stress. And when the hair grew in again I had one short curly piece of hair that stuck out until it grew as long as the rest.
    Yep, queen of denial. I have shiny highlights and I am never greying down south!

  25. Grey or no grey…you’re still one hip momma! LOL! My Mom never died her hair until she turned 50. It was the best thing she ever did…and she looks great. Dying her hair actually made her hair more managable, but I don’t think you’re at the stage yet…I haven’t notice any grey hair on you…and trust me I would be telling you!!! LOL!

  26. Grey or no grey…you’re still one hip momma! LOL! My Mom never died her hair until she turned 50. It was the best thing she ever did…and she looks great. Dying her hair actually made her hair more managable, but I don’t think you’re at the stage yet…I haven’t notice any grey hair on you…and trust me I would be telling you!!! LOL!

  27. I have quite a bit of grey hair now, but I never pluck! I don’t want to find out that they grow back in multiples :). I too have never died my hair and I hope I never have to. I am hoping with all hope that my hair will be like my Mom’s and go slowly to the grey with hints of blonde for good measure.

  28. I have quite a bit of grey hair now, but I never pluck! I don’t want to find out that they grow back in multiples :). I too have never died my hair and I hope I never have to. I am hoping with all hope that my hair will be like my Mom’s and go slowly to the grey with hints of blonde for good measure.

  29. I do the blonde thing and look better when I go lighter so I see grey as a way of getting free highlights. I’m home microdermabrasioning away my wrinkles.

  30. I do the blonde thing and look better when I go lighter so I see grey as a way of getting free highlights. I’m home microdermabrasioning away my wrinkles.

  31. I have some grey hairs. They aren’t all that noticeable, though, because my hair has natural blonde highlights.
    I don’t do anything to make myself look younger. I like the age that I am at. (I’m almost 45.)

  32. I have some grey hairs. They aren’t all that noticeable, though, because my hair has natural blonde highlights.
    I don’t do anything to make myself look younger. I like the age that I am at. (I’m almost 45.)

  33. I have grey growing in one patch on the right side of my head. It is weird if it was growing all over I would not color it but!?

  34. I have grey growing in one patch on the right side of my head. It is weird if it was growing all over I would not color it but!?

  35. Isn’t it silly to believe that “aging gracefully” means showing no evidence of aging?
    I’m almost 50 and, like you a bit lucky on wrinkles and that. I try to keep my skin, hair, and muscles in some kind of shape (well, ok… the muscles thing is an ongoing challenge!).
    Do whatever cosmetic things you care to do.. but don’t call it aging gracefully…
    In fact… let all us old people start a magazine called “Aging Disgracefully”

  36. Isn’t it silly to believe that “aging gracefully” means showing no evidence of aging?
    I’m almost 50 and, like you a bit lucky on wrinkles and that. I try to keep my skin, hair, and muscles in some kind of shape (well, ok… the muscles thing is an ongoing challenge!).
    Do whatever cosmetic things you care to do.. but don’t call it aging gracefully…
    In fact… let all us old people start a magazine called “Aging Disgracefully”

  37. Use the dye!!! Use it often and choose a color close to your own hair so you can go longer times between coloring.
    I’m kind of lucky, I started working in the hair industry when I was 21 — and stayed in the hair industry until I was 32 or so… in that time I did plenty of hair color — so getting it done isn’t unusual for me.
    Color it until it is uniformly gray, then you can make a choice about doing it or not– until then, mother nature doesn’t have great aesthetic sense, you can’t trust her with your haircolor.

  38. Use the dye!!! Use it often and choose a color close to your own hair so you can go longer times between coloring.
    I’m kind of lucky, I started working in the hair industry when I was 21 — and stayed in the hair industry until I was 32 or so… in that time I did plenty of hair color — so getting it done isn’t unusual for me.
    Color it until it is uniformly gray, then you can make a choice about doing it or not– until then, mother nature doesn’t have great aesthetic sense, you can’t trust her with your haircolor.

  39. Coming from someone who hasn’t seen her natural haircolour since she was thirteen…
    I’d say you may grow old, but you can be immature forever.

  40. Coming from someone who hasn’t seen her natural haircolour since she was thirteen…
    I’d say you may grow old, but you can be immature forever.

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