The plan to take down Mercer – Phase One

by DaniGirl on December 5, 2005 · 6 comments

in Uncategorized

I’m taking a page from the other (and considerably less important) election going on in Canada right now. If I’m going to beat out Rick Mercer in the Canadian Blog Awards, it’s going to take a little leg work. Gotta get out, pound the pavement and turn over rocks to suss out votes.

“Hello, Aunt Mable? Yes, it’s your great-grandniece twice removed. You know, the cheeky one’s daughter. Yes, right… So, how have you been? … In your knees, you say? … Quite the shame. … Um, Aunt Mable, do you still go to the senior’s centre on Tuesdays? The one with the free-access computers? … You know, computers – the TVs with typewriters in front of them. … Right. … Okay, here’s what I need you to do…”


“Yes, that’s right. Large, with pineapple, bacon and green olives, and a two litre coke. We’ll be by to pick it up in twenty minutes. And while I have you on the phone, do you happen to have a computer with Internet access there?”


“Dad? It’s Dani. It took a couple of hours to drive around to all of them, but I’ve voted on the public-access computers in the libraries in Barrhaven, Kanata, Nepean and three branches in west Ottawa. Did you cover Cumberland, Orleans and the east end? … Excellent, thanks for your help. Same thing tomorrow?”


“Dr. Smith’s office? Good, thanks. I was supposed to make an appointment to see the dentist eight months ago, and I forgot. Could you squeeze me in this month? Great, thanks. And while I have you on the phone, do you happen to have a computer with Internet access there?”


(via e-mail)
Hello everybody,

My name is Bill Gates. I have just written up an e-mail tracing program that traces everyone to whom this message is forwarded to. I am experimenting with this and I need your help. Forward this to everyone you know and click on this link and vote for Postcards from the Mothership. If it reaches 1000 people everyone on the list will receive $1000 at my expense. Enjoy.

Your friend,
Bill Gates


“Hello? … Oh for cripes sake, NO I am not interested in subscribing to any new magazines right now. Why do you guys always call at dinner – er, hey, wait a second. Is that a computer keyboard I hear you typing on? … With Internet access, you say? … Well then, maybe we can do each other a favour here …. “


What’s that? A little over the top, you say? Nah…..

{ 5 comments… read them below or add one }

1 nancy December 5, 2005 at 1:41 pm

OMG you are HILARIOUS!!!
But great ideas – I am going to the library tomorrow…and I can sneak over to my dad’s too (he doesn’t know how but I could pretend to be him)
Doing my part!

2 SilverCreek Mom December 5, 2005 at 2:15 pm

LMAO! I guess I should go and vot efor YOU today….I’m afraid you might come a get me. Wait a mintue I know where YOU live but you don’t KNOW where I live….
Waiting for my cheque….
Off to vote my dear…but Rick is still pretty cute…

3 Renee December 5, 2005 at 3:26 pm

You’re such the subtle hinter! I voted for you!

4 Kristina December 5, 2005 at 7:39 pm

Haha! That was laugh-out-loud funny, Dani! I’ll go vote right now. That Rick Mercer chap needs more accolades like a hole in the head. 😉

5 UberGeek December 5, 2005 at 7:59 pm

all fun and games till you become the subject of a Mercer rant on Tuesday night. His wit stings like the barbs of a whip.

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