It started innoccuously enough. I was trying – with little success – to motivate Tristan into getting his little butt in gear so we could get out the door. He had a different agenda.<\/p>\n
Me (ordinary voice) : “Okay, Tristan-bean, time to get your shoes on.” That’s when it<\/em> happened. Like tumblers clicking into place, something shifted deep in my psyche. It burbled up from the depths of my being in an icy geyser. I felt my facial features twisting, pulling, moulding into something I had never experienced. That’s when I unleashed… (cue ominous music) the Icy Glare of Impending Doom.<\/p>\n My own mother has an Icy Glare of Impending Doom that would freeze a hardened criminal in his tracks. I am 35 years old, and still wake in the night after panicked dreams of being on the wrong end of the Icy Glare of Impending Doom. It is the ocular equivalent of a taser.<\/p>\n I didn’t know I had it in me. It never occured to me to even attempt an Icy Glare of Impending Doom – such powers are not to be trifled with. Like divine intervention, the Icy Glare of Impending Doom makes itself available when the time is right. <\/p>\n To my amazement and delight, the Icy Glare of Impending Doom lasered through my eyeballs and neutralized Tristan’s obstinance. As he scuttled obediently over to collect his discarded sock, his eyes flashed a quick succession of surprise, respect and compliance. He never saw it coming.<\/p>\n Like a superhero discovering their secret talent, I feel I have come fully into my power as a mother now. I have harnessed the power of the Icy Glare of Impending Doom. Don’t mess with me or I’ll glare at you, too.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":" It started innoccuously enough. I was trying – with little success – to motivate Tristan into getting his little butt in gear so we could get out the door. He had a different agenda. Me (ordinary voice) : “Okay, Tristan-bean, time to get your shoes on.”Tristan : ignoreMe (singsong voice) : “Triiiiistan, it’s time to … Continue reading “I have the power”<\/span><\/a><\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[10,20],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-53","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-mothering-without-a-licence","category-tristan"],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"http:\/\/danigirl.ca\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/53","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"http:\/\/danigirl.ca\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"http:\/\/danigirl.ca\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/danigirl.ca\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/danigirl.ca\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=53"}],"version-history":[{"count":1,"href":"http:\/\/danigirl.ca\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/53\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":13074,"href":"http:\/\/danigirl.ca\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/53\/revisions\/13074"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"http:\/\/danigirl.ca\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=53"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/danigirl.ca\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=53"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/danigirl.ca\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=53"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}
Tristan : ignore<\/em>
Me (singsong voice) : “Triiiiistan, it’s time to go. Come here please.”
Tristan : ignore, poke Simon<\/em>
Me (stern voice) : “That’s enough of that. Get over here so I can put your shoes on.”
Tristan : ignore, poke Simon<\/em>
Me (annoyed voice): “Hey! Are you listening to me? I said get over here NOW.”
Tristan : ignore, starts pulling socks off<\/em>
Me (bellowing) : “Don’t you DARE pull those socks off.”
Tristan : tosses peeled-off sock in the other direction<\/em><\/p>\n