There’s an old song by Nancy White called, “It’s Chic to be Pregnant at Christmas.” A few of the best verses:<\/p>\n
It’s so chic to be pregnant at Christmas ‘Cause the aisles are so narrow and crowded Oh, the salesclerks are so friendly this Christmas It’s so Biblical to be pregnant at Christmas Yeah. What she said.<\/p>\n I\u00e2\u20ac\u2122ve got about half my Christmas shopping done. The good half. The \u00e2\u20ac\u0153oh, what a great idea, it\u00e2\u20ac\u2122s the absolute perfect gift for so-and-so, I can hardly wait to see his\/her face!\u00e2\u20ac\u009d Now comes the agonizing, clock-ticking, \u00e2\u20ac\u0153I\u00e2\u20ac\u2122ve got no friggin\u00e2\u20ac\u2122 clue what to get for so-and-so and so I\u00e2\u20ac\u2122ll just keep throwing money at it until I feel better about my choices\u00e2\u20ac\u009d part of the shopping.<\/p>\n I know I make it hard on myself. I take my Christmas gift-giving very seriously. Each gift is carefully chosen based on an offhand remark from some time in the past 360 days, or a known favourite theme, or by divination, ESP and intuition. Gifts are balanced so that everybody gets a more or less proportionally appropriate gift value. I rarely give a gift I wouldn\u00e2\u20ac\u2122t like to receive. In short, I drive myself CRAZY every year over Christmas shopping.<\/p>\n This is almost entirely my mother\u00e2\u20ac\u2122s fault. (Sorry, Mom.) She has a knack for the perfect gift, and I have learned a lot from her. Mostly about excess, but also about how gift giving really is a covenant between two people. It\u00e2\u20ac\u2122s an acknowledgement of how that person has touched your life, made a difference, been a friend. <\/p>\n No pressure or anything. Ugh.<\/p>\n I like personalized gifts. We make a photo calendar each year, and have given photo mouse pads, coffee mugs and jigsaw puzzles. The boys are *almost* at an age where we can start substituting my handcrafted gifts for theirs (just in the nick of time, too – what\u00e2\u20ac\u2122s cute from a six year old is a little odd from a thirty-something woman, and I\u00e2\u20ac\u2122m running out of macaroni and glitter.)<\/p>\n I’m past the Christmas shipping deadline for online shopping and I still need ideas. Don’t make me go out there and aimlessly wander the malls – I need some inspiration! What is the best gift you ever got? What is your favourite gift to give?<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":" There’s an old song by Nancy White called, “It’s Chic to be Pregnant at Christmas.” A few of the best verses: It’s so chic to be pregnant at Christmas I feel like the “round yon virgin” of yore ‘Cause though I have a warm bed to sleep in There’s no room for me when I … Continue reading “Tick tick tick – send Christmas ideas, quick!”<\/span><\/a><\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[64,17],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-1122","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-consumer-culture","category-life-the-universe-and-everything"],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"http:\/\/danigirl.ca\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/1122","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"http:\/\/danigirl.ca\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"http:\/\/danigirl.ca\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/danigirl.ca\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/danigirl.ca\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=1122"}],"version-history":[{"count":0,"href":"http:\/\/danigirl.ca\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/1122\/revisions"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"http:\/\/danigirl.ca\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=1122"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/danigirl.ca\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=1122"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/danigirl.ca\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=1122"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}
\nI feel like the “round yon virgin” of yore
\n‘Cause though I have a warm bed to sleep in
\nThere’s no room for me when I go to the store<\/p>\n
\nChristmas shopping has never been such a pain
\n(gasp) Here comes another Braxton-Hicks contraction
\nAnd I’m knockin’ over knick-knacks again<\/p>\n
\nOne said, “Oh God, lady, don’t have it here”
\nTheir discretion and manners go right out the door
\nWhen I and my stomach appear<\/p>\n
\nNo matter what stories you believe
\nAnd I may suffer from gravid senilis…and heartburn and nausea and charlie horses and overwhelming fatigue…and frequent micturation and varicose veins and…swollen ankles and shortness…of breath…and that…tired, achy feeling in the grooooooin…
\nBut I won’t be alone on New Year’s Eve
\nFa-La-La-La-La La-La La La<\/em><\/p>\n