My personal experience and research conducted with celiacs across Canada suggest that while we learn to cope without these experiences, it definitely has a negative impact on life. Deciding that we should simply learn to “cope” lacks a certain level of compassion. It’s my strong opinion that it is better to try to avoid situations where we are continuously reminded of our digestive requirements. If you know what I mean.

If I were to go to a restaurant and they accomodated me by not serving anything with gluten while I was there, it would be such a fantastically generous gift and it would probably make me their best customer. And if I overheard other patrons complaining and their parents obviously agreeing, I’d be heartbroken.

I hear what people are saying about eating out already being a gamble (no kidding!) and like peanuts, I can’t get sick from other people ingesting gluten. But the potential for cross-contamination is going to be much, much lower if the allergen is not in the restaurant while I am. For instance, if your server clears away peanut butter from your table, doesn’t quite get it all off and then serves severe peanut allergy table. So I would cut the restaurant some slack. I also think it is a bit strange to be put out that they didn’t serve your preferred toast topping – when at a restaurant I usually expect them to serve me what they serve, based off the menu. If I want something very specific, that’s when I’d head to a grocery store. Really it was an opportunity to help your kids have some empathy for others that are rarely able to just eat but have to think about whether their food is likely to hurt them first and if so, whether it is worth taking that risk.

Oh, and you are right – it is exhausting and embarrassing to make sure that eating out is safe. But if you or your child ever is in that situation, I will bet large sums of money that while you might usually pass on restaurant experiences, eventually the resentment and embarrassment of always declining would wear you down. You wouldn’t eat out often, but I doubt that you would decide never to eat out again.

Having said that, I would have cheerfully complied with jam for my toast but I would have thought it was odd.

You cannot have a life-threatening reaction to peanut butter unless you ingest some peanut.

You cannot die from smelling peanuts. You cannot die if you rub your hand on some peanut butter (unless you lick that skin, of course — and you might still have some pretty spectacular hives). You can only die from a peanut allergy if you ingest the peanuts.

Our allergists are the ones doing the cutting-edge peanut-allergy work that makes the national press, so I feel REALLY confident in my understanding of how peanut allergy works.

I also feel confident on this peanut-inhalation issue because my son has shellfish allergies, and you CAN have an allergic reaction if you inhale shellfish proteins. Shellfish proteins areosolize in molecules small enough to be absorbed through the mucus membranes. Peanut proteins do not.

Of course, not everyone believes this. And good luck getting them to. “I smelled peanuts, and started to have trouble breathing because of my allergy!” No one — and I mean NO ONE — will ever be convinced that they were having a (very real) stress reaction, not an anaphylactic one. It’s not a discussion worth having.

(Another slightly interesting factoid: You can go for years having nothing but a “mild” reaction to peanuts, and then go into anaphylactic shock the next time you accidentally eat even a tiny peanut fragment. There is no pattern or purpose to peanut allergy. And while there are blood tests that indicate a person’s current sensitivity to peanuts, there’s no real correlation between the protein levels and one’s reactivity. All the blood test can really tell you is your odds of outgrowing that allergy in time. So there’s one reason why parents are so scared: past experience does not predict future results. It’s frightening.)

Anyway, my experience as a parent of kids with peanut allergies makes me … skeptical … about people who want peanut-free planes, or peanut-free restaurants, on the basis of any “inhalation risk.”

So that leaves kitchen contamination and ingestion risks, which brings us to the question: do you need to ask a restaurant to go peanut-free during your visit to avoid contamination? I would argue (a) it’s probably just as easy to ask the chefs to clean their work station before preparing your food, and make sure to segregate other people’s meals from that area; and (b) if you’re that worried about contamination, you probably don’t want to trust the kitchen anyway. Because if the concern is that stray smear of peanut butter on an apron or cloth or utensil, the route by which some peanut butter reaches your plate — well, unless the restaurant has been peanut-free since this morning, and unless you are 100% sure that they cleaned every last speck of peanut butter off their work surfaces last night, you’re already taking a risk (albeit a relatively small one, I would argue — but risk assessment is a tricky thing).

The fact is, because peanut allergy is so unpredictable, it’s probably best that people with peanut allergies never eat in restaurants that serve peanuts. But most people balance the risks and the rewards.

I don’t like the title of this Salon article at all, but it does discuss the reported numbers of anaphylactic deaths in the US each year, and does help put the fear into some perspective:

http://www.salon.com/env/vital_signs/2009/02/05/peanut_allergy/index1.html

Annika, I’m very sorry for your friends’ loss. How heartbreaking and awful to lose a child.

It’s a tricky thing with the allergies. I’m sure the child appreciates the gesture, but the whole restaurant? Eesh.

Secondly, if the child/children at that table were so allergic that they could potentially react to other people eating small packets of PB at other tables, then they were probably too allergic to be out in a restaurant. Anyone that sensitive – an I am not sure how common this is – would be at risk of a reaction from someone having eaten at the table previously, or having a tiny amount left on an imperfectly cleaned knife. Frankly, if they were that allergic, it sounds to me like they might have been giving themselves a potentially dangerous false sense of security – in addition to inconveniencing the other patrons.

I think that if my child had a severe nut allergy, so much so that you’d request the restaurant to not serve anything peanut-related… you’re inconveniencing so many people. I mean, good for the restaurant for going along with it, but still, they shouldn’t have. I would rather pack my child’s lunch than risk it. But that’s just me.

I’d like to propose a follow up question for discussion… The debate thus far has been focused on peanut butter. Most people seem okay with the idea of going without PB to accommodate someone’s allergies.

What if that person was allergic to coffee (beans, beverage and aroma)? Would you still respond the same way knowing that you couldn’t have coffee with your breakfast?

The first is “Do you think that a restaurant should try to accommodate one patron’s food allergy — despite that food being listed on the menu and no advance warning.” Well, as a general rule, no, I don’t.

But when reading Dani’s post, it seemed like a small-ish restaurant and a special group outing for the kids, and so it didn’t seem like a big deal to me to not have peanut butter one morning. Obviously that particular child doesn’t get to do this often or Dani and friends, who are regular patrons, would have come across this before.

However….
If the allergy really is a matter of life and death, then I don’t believe that, as a parent, I would consider a restaurant a ‘safe’ place to eat (if one could have a severe, life threatening reaction from someone opening a sealed packet of peanut butter from over 10 feet away). Were the entire kitchen, tabletops, cutlery, dishes, cook and server’s hands, etc. etc. disenfected before the team arrived, to ensure the safety of the child?

I would kind of doubt all that was done, so in this case, would say that asking the entire restaurant to refrain from using peanut butter was over the top. (and your server should have told you beforehand)

For anyone who has lost a loved one due to a peanut allergy, they would gladly suffer any imposition to have that person alive again. Including toast with just jam. Sheesh.

Put yourselves in the shoes of the kid who has this allergy. Should this child be deprived of all group social outings because of an allergy? I’m sure this child’s enjoyment of many a milestone has already been compromised by the allergy. A little compassion, people!

No, I do not have an allergy and nor do my children. I do, however, know a family who lost their daughter to an allergic reaction – peanuts – three years ago.

I understand that no one here is attempting to be petty or insensitive, but for Pete’s sake, please remember that this is literally a life and death issue for some of our friends, neighbours and fellow restaurant patrons.

We wordlessly suffer far greater annoyances in order to maintain a healthy, peaceful and inclusive society (ever taken the bus with people who choose not to wear deodorant?).

Let’s keep it in perspective. Please.

Maybe someone should just open allergen free resturants?